Should be illegal for a man to be this fucking impossible to lift I am trapped in this coffin. I may never be freed Remember me as I was: hot as hell
“Oh I need to be up early in the evening can I sleep on top” I am NEVER falling for that again we really need a bigger one

that's not true! 7ou're also funn7 and a great dan(er

:33 < of course baddie
I like these descriptors much more than my present one: being crushed to true death Consider me both flattered and flattened :)
I’ll be sure to leave you a good review on whatever I have access to in the beyond

:33 < there should be like an afterlife Yelp, but its called "Croak," and mew can find my reviewable business there.

I'd offer to help but if you're struggling I would probably be struggling to get him off. Forgot to ask if being a vampire made you stronger, I know not all vampires are the same but.
I wouldn’t know, I was born this way? I’m pretty strong, but this is like, a leverage issue, really. Dead weight and not a lot of room to work Though I feel like this is not how I want my friends to meet my anchor partner
