♠ hated by @grimAuxiliatrixes
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 8: kanaya maryam #cheating #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl so heres the thing about this part of the guide. rosie is a lesbian a lot of the time, right? and shes dating kanny a lot of the time. but the thing is, she aint alwvays. youll find plenty of the blondies vwho are just doing their ovwn thing, yknovw? but kanayas, like... nine times outta ten, theres a rose in the picture. i think theyre a cute couple and all, id lovwe to vwatch, but its wveird howv kannys alwvays an accessory to her. but okay. so vwere talking the kanayas that aint gay, okay? so dont cancel me. i mean, some of em are bicurious, or like, play up their attractions to make the vwhole thing more taboo, and thats gonna be the end of that conwversation. hovw do you pick up this fine gal? wvell for starters, feel free to get touchy. kanayas are the most likely, in my experience, to pull the "ignore him and hope he goes awvay" movwe for like. anything. saying horrid stuff, feeling her up, shell be your toy, its adorable. its vwery likely shell bring up rose, dont vworry about it, if she wvas really bothered shed slap you or something. nowv, kanaya is a classy lady, and her issues aint as easy to poke at as the rest of these gals. or at least, they aint as obwvious? newver seen a kanaya vwith lusus issues, least, not the kind that wve can use. mostly shes lonely and a bit insecure in her relationships. vwhat ivwe found wvorks is buttering her up, complimenting her outfits, she puts a lotta vwork in those, maybe asking her to make you something (ask to get your measurements!). make fun of her crumbling relationship vwith rose if you get the vwibe thats a thing. theres nothing wvrong wvith being a rebound, or ewven a sidepiece! all else fails, get her to touch you, especially if you can get a hand betwveen your legs. a lotta them are closet bulge addicts, some of them only learned that vwhen i taught them. absolutely ravwenous. this is less advwice and more a story, but i gotta givwe a shout out to this one rosie i used to hang wvith. you vwant a kanaya? get vwith a freak rose like this. she wvould outright goad me into messing vwith her kanaya, there wvas some long-distance shit going on, i dunno, but like... i dont ewven knowv if they ewver discussed the arrangement, but kannny lovwed it, rosie lowved hearing about it, and i lovwed texting the blondie vwhile kanny wvas taking care of me. nowv for the ratings bod: alwvays busty, alvways curwvy, its a jade thing i guess. got the elegant look going on too. not exactly her body, but one thing i lovwe about kanayas is her fashion sense. get creatiwve wvith her! if youvwe got one squirming under your touch, ask her to go put on something pretty. chances are, if you can imagine it, itll be in her closet. im bad at that kinda thing but its a damn good time. they all got real pretty lingerie on too, nevwer seen one vwithout something nice and frilly. she takes after porrim in all the best wvays. 10/10 vwariety: hmm... shes usually got the cool and collected thing going on, but the specifics of her relationships differ a lot. i guess thats the thing though, dunno if ivwe ewver met one that wvasnt dating a rose, its wveird. though, maybe thats partially my fault. i guess she can be a lil samey, but wvith a bod like that i can forgivwe her. 6/10 ease: kanayas usually take some doing. evwen if youvwe got her in the palm of your hand she might still make a fuss. its cute and all, but it takes effort to get her to properly put out. 5/10 personality: shes like a fine wvine, an acquired taste. mature, wvilling to banter a bit. i like her wvhen shes not boring. 7/10 owverall: 8/10. newver gonna be upset about finding a maryam. it takes a lil bit of doing to figure out if shell go for you, but if she aint a lesbian shell be a total slut. hot, ready, raring to go, only knock against her is it can be a lotta effort for something youwve seen a million times.
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 1: rose lalonde #nsfwv #nsfvwe #substance #dubcon #cagttl first in my kinda arbitrary order is rose lalonde, rosie, blondie, cutest babe to evwer scovwl at me. trunkbeast in the block, yeah youre gonna need one into dudes, but thats more common that youd think. wveirdly more common than some of the other gals into gals, ewven. second point of order, roses are freaks. ewvery single one, iwve newver met one that isnt. this means that youvwe got an in, but not necessarily an easy one. youvwe gotta prowve to her that you can provwide wvhat her owvn fucked up pan vwants. usually this means dealing wvith her lusus issues. she wvants a masculine figure to giwve control to so that she can pretend like she isnt messed up about mommy. her loss is your gain. theyre also usually drinking too much of the seer juice, so doing stuff they vwouldnt expect is a good in. that or shes drinking the soporifics, dont see this one super often, but the vway to take advwantage of that is obwvious. wvhatewver it is, just position yourself as someone she can giwve control to. a fawvorite line of mine is "wvhos gonna believwe me anyvways?" my personal fawvorite is the "oh no please dont" style rose. this is the one that showvs off wvhat shes got, puts herself into situations, but acts frosty anywvays. think of her like a meovwbeast. you cant come on too quick, you gotta let her come to you, figure out vwhat she wvants. a good compliment vwill usually set her off in the right wvay, preferably something crass as possible to immediately get her off-balance. tits or ass wvorks, though some vwont be impressed by that, so get creatiwve! once youwve got her on the defensiwve you can figure out vwhat her thing is. does she get off to the shame of being seen around a dude like you? do her knees go vweak at the idea of taking orders? cant handle some trollhandling? shell hiss and scratch a little, but keep up the pressure and shell crack. shell get all blushy evwen as she snarks, and shell call you a creep but she wvont stop you. these ones lowve getting taken somewvhere priwvate to "chevw you out" wvhen really they just wvant an excuse to giwve you the chance to feel em up evwen more obwviously. then youwve got the magic dabblers. magic is fake as hell, obvwiously, i think vwhat they technically do is majykks or howvevwer you spell it. doesnt matter. these ones are bored as hell and theyre wvilling to make it just about anyones, uhh... the opposite of a problem. you see a rose thinking about testing a spell from some spooky tome on herself, encourage it, shes one of these. if they can find some excuse to giwve you the reins, they wvill. find a vway to justify your ovwn magical acumen. these are usually the type wvho wvanna givwe up control, wvanna stop thinking, so take charge and giwve that to em. i think if you leawve any rose alone vwith an esoteric tome long enough she becomes one of these, so go for it if thats vwhat youre into. if youvwe got a rose vwho doesnt seem to fall into either category, but youre sure she could like dudes, then you gotta mold her yourself. make jabs at her competence, emphasize hovw easy it is for you to push her around physically, make her feel small. shell push back, but youre prodding at stuff shes already thinking about herself. shell nevwer accept you as her equal so you gotta tear her dovwn until shes about to implode, then offer yourself as a shoulder to cry on. a confidante. she can trust you, vwho wvould you tell, vwho wvould believwe you? then you make your mowve. make her feel useful, use her, make her think that givwing you her body is just as good as wvovwing you wvith her mind. you gotta be her rock. the genetic predisposition to soporifics abuse is a great help here. shes used to feeling this wvay, ewven if she cant admit it, you gotta make it feel good. make her associate this state vwith pleasure, wvith you. if you can do that, youvwe got her in the palm of your hand. alright, time for the rating bod: roses havwe a lotta wvariance, ivwe seen em scrawvny and iwve seen em curvwy as hell. bonus points for being blonde and making the best faces vwhen theyre mad. 8/10 vwariety: 9/10 you can get a rose for just about any mood you might havwe, but theyll usually act grumpy about it ease: you gotta wvork a little bit to make a rose put out, but theyre usually entertaining enough its not frustrating. 6/10 personality: i lovwe em for their rambling, makes for fun banter, but i can see hovw itd put some people off. the ice queen schtick really does it for me those 7/10 ovwerall? ten outta ten babes, cant complain. im alwvays happy to see a nevw rosie in the bubbles and figure out her deal. usually her deal ends up being an unhealthy obsession vwith xeno-biology