Your name is SEDREK ZALETH You live in TUFF AS SHIDD bachelor pad all by yourself, which is ironic, because you aren't bachelor. Your lusus, the mighty HARLEQUIN CRABDAD, has been hibernating beneath the ocean a mile off the coast of Thrashthrust Beach since you were just a wriggler, which means that your upbringing largely contained a CONCERNING LACK OF CUSTODIAL OVERSIGHT. It's a miracle that you haven't been culled yet! You are a purpleblooded member of the MIRTHFUL FAITH OF THE CLOWN MESSIAHS, although your understanding of the religion is held in a way that many of your fellow subjugglators would describe as VAGUELY CONFUSED AND DEBATABLY HERETICAL. You have lifelong abstained from the SLAUGHTERFUL CULLING OF THE LOWER CASTES, a teetotalism which spawned from your misinterpretation of the passage in the Book of Uproar where it is written FUCK THE LOWBLOODS which you have taken far more literally than was intended. You subscribe to a personal philosophy which you arrived at from arbitrarily cherrypicking gospel passages that you thought sounded cool, a philosophy that has led you to conclude that ultimate meaning is derived from STACKING THE MOST PAPER, PAILING THE BADDEST SHAWTIES, AND KEEPING TO A GRINDSET MINDSET, whatever the fuck that means. Your primary hustle is the selling of SUSPICIOUSLY LARGE AMOUNTS OF RECREATIONAL NARCOTICS IN EXCHANGE FOR GOODS AND SERVICES, but your real passion is trying to kickstart a SoundClawed rap career under the pseudonym YUNG JUGG. You are notably hellishly good at TREKKEN, one of the hottest analogue fighting games on the market. You were once considered one of the best players in your region, but have since stopped attending tournaments after an incident involving an extremely salty goldblood and your NEAR DECAPITATION. Your trolltag is mercurialGorepriest [CG] and you type (•́⍜•̀)🎪 LOUD AS FUCK IN A WAY THAHAT SHOWS EVERYONE HOW JAZZED YOU ARE TO BE HERE. 💯💯💯💯 🔥🔥🔥 :o)
