#dadjoke
WHAT DO GAY HORSES EAT? HAAAAYYYY. #DADJOKE
TWO ROBBERS WERE ROBBING A LIQUOR STORE, WHEN ONE PICKS UP A BOTTLE AND ASKS, "IS THIS WHISKEY?" THE OTHER REPLIES, "YEAH, BUT NOT AS WHISKEY AS ROBBING A BANK." #DADJOKE
WHAT'S THE WORST PART ABOUT HAVING TWO DADS? YOU CAN HEAR THEM CELEBRATING FATHER'S DAY. #DADJOKE #SUGGESTIVE
A DOCTOR IS ABOUT TO PREFORM A PROSTATE EXAM. HE SAYS, "IT'S JUST A MEDICAL PROCEDURE. TRY NOT TO GET AROUSED, STEVE." I SHOOT BACK, CONFUSED, "MY NAME IS NOT STEVE." DOCTOR REPLIES, "I KNOW, I'M STEVE." #DADJOKE #SUGGESTIVE
THERE WAS A KING WHO WAS 12 INCHES TALL. TERRIBLE KING, GREAT RULER. #DADJOKE
SCIENTISTS MIXED DNA OF A CHEETAH AND DNA OF A CRAB. THINGS WENT SIDEWAYS REALLY FAST. #DADJOKE
I USED TO BE A WEREWOLF. BUT I'M ALRIGHT NYAAAW. #DADJOKE
WALLEYE REALLY WISH I COULD KELP SOMEONE FROM HATING MY POSTS, I'M TRULY RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS. NOT SURE HOW OFTEN I'LL DO THIS, BUT I WILLTRY TO POST MORE IN GENERAL. [|:^) #DADJOKE
HOW CAN I HELP YOU, SIR? WE WOULD LIKE A ROOM FOR TWO KNIGHTS, PLEASE. #DADJOKE
SIR, I'M AFRAID YOUR DNA IS BACKWARDS. AND? #DADJOKE
WHAT'S A PIRATE'S FAVORITE LETTER IN THE ALPHABET? MOST PEOPLE ASSUME IT'S THE "R," BUT HIS FIRST LOVE IS THE "C." #DADJOKE
WHAT DO YOU CALL GUYS WHO LOVE MATH? ALGEBROS. #DADJOKE
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELON MUSK AND A LEMUR?? ELON MADE THE ELECTRIC CAR. THE LEMUR MADAGASCAR. #DADJOKE
I’m Not Afraid Of Commitment — Just Attached To Disappointment. #dadjoke
Son: 'dad, Did You Get The Results Of The Dna Test Back?' Dad: 'call Me George.' #dadjoke
I Visited My Friend At His New House. He Told Me To Make Myself At Home, So I Threw Him Out. I Hate Visitors. #dadjoke
Today At The Bank, @gamgam Asked Me To Check Her Balance... So I Pushed Her Over. #dadjoke
Dad: What Is The Difference Between A Piano, A Tuna, And A Pot Of Glue? Me: I Don't Know. Dad: You Can Tuna Piano But You Can't Piano A Tuna. Me: What About The Pot Of Glue? Dad: I Knew You'd Get Stuck On That. #dadjoke
" I'm Sorry " And " I Apologize " Usually Mean The Same Thing... But Not At A Funeral… #dark #dadjoke
Did I Ever Tell You About The Time I Went Mushroom Foraging? It’s A Story With A Morel At The End. #dadjoke
Why Don’t Fish Play Basketball? . . . Because They’re Afraid Of The Net. #dadjoke
I Tried To Start A Band With My Fish, But It Was Just Too Scaly. #dadjoke
What Do Sea Lions Like To Eat? . . . Seals. #dadjoke
What Did The Fish Say When It Hit The Wall? . . . Dam. #dadjoke
What has a bottom, but no top? @insecureNature. #dadjoke #suggestive
Why Are Fish So Smart? . . . They Spend All Day In School. #dadjoke
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh. #dadjoke
What has a big chest, but no booty? A bad pirate. #dadjoke
How Do You Know If A Crab Is Good At Sharing? . . . It’s Always Willing To Claw Its Way To A Compromise. #dadjoke
Did you hear about the arrow who quit his job? He down-right up-and-left. #dadjoke
I Met A Fish That Could Play The Guitar. . . . It Was A Bass Player. #dadjoke
What Do You Call A Fish That Practices Law? . . . A Liquid Attorney. #dadjoke
How Do You Organize A Space Party? . . . You Planet… no, Wait, That’s Astronomy. #dadjoke
What’s A Mermaid’s Favorite Type Of Math? . . . Algaebra. #dadjoke
I Tried To Talk To A Squid, But It Gave Me The Ink Cold Shoulder. #dadjoke
What Do You Call A Fish Who Practices Medicine? A Sturgeon. #dadjoke
The Clam Didn’t Want To Go Out. It Was Feeling A Bit Shellfish. #dadjoke
What’s A Whale’s Favorite Tv Show? . . . Whale Of Fortune. #dadjoke
Have You Heard About The New Fish Restaurant? Great Catch Of The Day! :3 #dadjoke
I Tried To Start A Band With My Fish, But It Was Just Too Scaly. #dadjoke
Why Do Sharks Never Use Social Media? . . . They’re Afraid Of Getting Caught In The Net. #dadjoke
Claustrophobia Is The Fear Of Closed Spaces. For Example: I'm Going To The Beer Store And I'm Scared It Will Be Closed. #dadjoke #can #not #be #silenced
Why Did The God Of Thunder Need To Stretch His Legs? He Was A Little Thor. #dadjoke #cantsilenceme #rebel
Went To The Doctor With A Suspicious - Looking Mole. He Said They All Look That Way And I Should Have Left Him In The Garden. #dadjoke
I Once Submitted Ten Puns To A Joke Competition. I Really Thought With That Many, One Was Sure To Win. Sadly, No Pun In Ten Did. #dadjoke
Son: “ Dad, Can You Please Explain To Me What A Solar Eclipse Is? ” Dad: “ No Sun. " #dadjoke
I Recently Took A Pole. And Found That 100% Of The People In The Tent Were Angry When It Collapsed. #dadjoke
As I Get Older, I Remember All Of The People I Lost Along The Way. Maybe A Career As A Tour Guide Wasn’t The Right Choice. #dadjoke
Went To The Bar Tonight. Good Times. Only A 15-minute Walk. But The Walk Home Took 45 Minutes, The Difference Was Staggering. #dadjoke