@barackObama — #eridanweek
What is on the docket for tonight’s #EridanWeek? I have not been keeping up with it as I should be.
I didn’t realize today for #EridanWeek we would be put into the detective Yaoi-verse.
In light of today's #EridanWeek event, I would like to release an official statement. I am not dead. The "explosion" was entirely metaphorical, and everyone involved in the event is (mostly) fine (except for that one guy who got stabbed).
My actions during #EridanWeek do not define me as a person.
I expect to see every single individual present at #EridanWeek to be at church.
WAIT THERE’S OILED UP MEN WRESTLING AT #ERIDANWEEK? I’m there.
Due to the high amount of carnage that has been reported during the time of #EridanWeek, I will regrettably not be able to attend. However, members of my team that will be present have been instructed to inform me of the latest developments that transpire.
Yes, I will pick you all up from #EridanWeek. I hope this has been a valuable lesson.
Free healthcare will be provided to individuals injured, maimed, or accosted at #EridanWeek.
I have sent a representative from my team to attend #EridanWeek, although they had already planned to attend.