Barak Trollbama
@barackObama
President of Earth-C Information, including Cabinet Applications -> https://baraktrollbama.carrd.co
Anyone interested in Cabinet positions should watch the account of my Chief of Staff closely. Currently, we are accepting applications for two different sects. Learn more by looking at her post; https://chittr.ing/profile/therapistofThedeep/5d3f4deb-9d98-4be3-9adb-1ca84d194703
Making friends with Alternians was the worst mistake of my life. They crowd around me and make me say stupid memes and yell "Go white boy go". Somebody help me.
၄⋆၃ go white man go shout pole
> go wh1te boy go <
˚.⋆﹏𓊝﹏ Oh, dear!!! But-- in th' spirit of th' other comments, "go white boy go"? ⚓︎
Well, you are a white boy and you do go.
Et tu, Peter?
C|:^)
Lol
go white boie go
Pretty sure I have a limeblood on staff. #DiversityWin.
⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ Only pretty sure? ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅
Those aren't the kinds of questions I ask in interviews.
⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ I do not have much practice in hiring or interviewing ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ I was only curious ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅
I understand. It is a valid question, and I understand why you were curious. I also do not want to showcase any limeblood members of my staff, as they may not be comfortable showcasing that information on Chittr.ing.
⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ You are a wise leader ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅
MAYBE IF YOU EVER WATCHED ACTUAL FUCKING CINEMA LIKE SMASH ALTERNIAN HIT "THE ONE IN WHICH AMANDA SEYFIEND PLAYS THE ROLE OF A MIDBLOOD ABOUT TO ENGAGE WITH THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF YOUNG FLUSHED ROMANCE IN A MUSICAL FOR THE AGES BUT FINDS HERSELF WONDERING ON WHETHER OR NOT SHES MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE. SO BEFORE SHE COMMITS TO THE RELATIONSHIP SHE TRIES TO FIND INFORMATION ON HER ANCESTOR AND FIGURES OUT IT CAN BE ONE OF THREE PEOPLE AND INVITES THE OTHER DESCENDANTS OF THOSE TROLLS TO TRY AND SEE WHICH ONE IS MOST LIKE HER WITHOUT REVEALING WHY THE FUCK THEYRE THERE BECAUSE SHE'S A LITTLE CRACKED IN THE THINK PAN AND EVENTUALLY HER LYING AND TRIPLE SWITCHEROO COLLUDING RESULTS IN EIGHT DEATHS AND TWELVE ABBARATION MUSICAL NUMBERS AND ALSO MERYYL SCREECH IS THERE" YOU'D UNDERSTAND WHAT REAL JOY AND MEDIA ANALYSIS FEELS LIKE.
wwhere havve you been all my life do you wwanna hang out i mean hey that is cool bro did evveryone wwin or just you showw those fuckin peons wwhat they deservve am i right
ITS INEVITABLE THAT WE AGREE ON SOMETHING. ESPECIALLY THIS. IT REALLY IS THAT FUCKING SERIOUS.
NO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY FUCKING IS THAT SERIOUS.
I'M REALLY NOT SURE HOW WE'D DO THAT. BUT YES, EVERYONE WON. WE ALL REACHED GOD TIER AND GENERALLY KICKED SGRUB'S PATHETIC, WAILING WRIGGLER ASS. WE CLAIMED OUR PRIZE. AS FOR THE PEONS, I CARE LITTLE FOR THEM SO LONG AS THEY STAY THE FUCK IN LINE. ITS NOT LIKE THEY'RE FULLY FORMED PEOPLE LIKE WE ARE ANYWAY. THEY PROVED THAT.
holy shit you talk like the perfect leader i alwways kneww you could be kar but hold on wwhat you are sayin is you havve your owwn eridan you knoww if he evver slips up and pisses you off and you need a neww bro i am avvailable i am sure wwe could find a wway EXACTLY yes kar oh my god wwe havve the same pan trust me on this
THE HOPE EMPEROR AND I HAVE A PROFESSIONAL WORKING RELATIONSHIP. WE'RE FRIENDS AS MUCH AS I AM WITH ANY OF THE OTHERS. AND YEAH, WE SEEM TO BE PRETTY ALIGNED ON THE IMPORTANT SHIT. I'D BE HAPPY TO CONTINUE CORRESPONDENCE.
Look at that, a flicker of discernment in this intellectual wasteland. I'd almost dare to call it refreshing, so accustomed as I am to 8eing the sole purveyor of sense in the metaphorical 8lock. 8ut do go on, you have my genuine approval. We can all agree that Amanda Seyfiend and Meryl Screech are a terrific duo. ::::)
the hope emperor are you fuckin glubbin me right noww kar yes hell yes wwe wwill continue much correspondence exchange noble vvalues and ideas of leadership i wwant to knoww all about your planet
I am working closely with my advisors to codify a federally mandated "Nap Time" for those who would benefit. Stay tuned.
Almost forgot to take my meds. Almost because, well, #NeverForget.
I Will simply take all my meds for the month at once to stay ahead of the curb.
X Now you’re calliemaxxing x
What the fuck.
Big fan of when a Doc Scratch or Caliborn starts losing it on the timeline. What are you worried about little fellow? Scheming? I hope you’re having fun.
This is not a vague post. Literally scroll down a single post and there it is.
Trollbama. And I may have exaggerated slightly, but you must admit yourself as well as other variants of yourself do love to be emo on the timeline. It’s endearing.
#normal
Just like me fr.
I adore my matesprit’s offspring. Dave and that other one.
dunk i think
Yeah that seems right.
If I mention him in your replies he starts seething
I did not want to leave him out of the post, although he would have likely preferred it, so it was really the only option. He has his quirks, as do we all.
Deep inside of his heart, he appreciates it
He appreciates it less now that it’s been verbalized. Rookie mistake, Mr. Strider.
Shit you're right...
God King? God Prince? No. I'm the President, and very proud of the fact I was elected democratically.
⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ The reading comprehension on this site leaves a lot to be desired. ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅
I could not agree more.
how dare 7ou sa7 we piss on the poor
I dislike individuals who vape or use e-cigarettes. If you’re going to risk lung cancer, you should be risking it to smoke a menthol or a cigar like a MAN.
its still kinda exclusive when you think about it like inherently
....are menthols 8ad for you
HELL NAH.
OKAY !! <3 YAY
[MISC.] ...] [S] Sorry Mr. President sir.] [MISC.] 😰]
This is true. It does originate from a period in history that ties it to masculine ideals. However, I choose to utilize it without that context, as gender is a topic of great nuance. I believe the phrase is seen as sexist solely by those who believe that "taking it like a man" is implying men are stronger, which is false. I am using it to mean "to suffer without complaint," which does not equal strength. In fact, in some cases, it could mean great stupidity—similar to how giving yourself lung cancer by smoking carcinogenic sticks is, to some, also stupid. It is important to take the topic of gender seriously. "Taking it like a woman" would often make people think of the opposite, but in actuality, women and men are not opposite. They are simply two sides of a different spectrum—and believing that "taking it like a woman" would be inherently negative towards women showcases the bias of the listener, not the speaker.
Words mean little. It is actions that truly speak.
but have you considered the trans people in your constituency that dont want gendered terms applied to a thing that they do
Perhaps I was not clear in my previous point; allow me to clarify. There are many gendered terms around, idioms included. Women can engage in "man" behavior, and vice versa. Some say driving a scuttlebuggy with one hand is a "masculine trait," which is foolish. It's just a way to drive. We are all, unfortunately, bound by gender. At least, in the reality I currently reside in. However, it is a spectrum. I, despite being male, exhibit what some may say are "female traits." I Groogled the phrase, and was met with the following list: Empathy and Sensitivity, Nurturing and Caring, Courage, Communicativeness. As President, I do hope I embody many of those traits. No one is entirely 100% male or 100% female—we are all simply on a spectrum. While I can respect that certain individuals, especially trans individuals, may not want to be associated with a certain gender, it is a fact of life we are a mixture of both. They have simply changed what end of the spectrum they are on. Are trans men inherently careless? No. Despite that being a very masculine trait according to Groogle. Nor are they inherently more empathetic, despite that being a traditional female trait. A trans woman may "take it like a man" and not complain about suffering. They could also just as likely complain about their suffering as well, therefore not "taking it like a man." The idiomatic phrase "to take it like a man" does not mean the person is of the male gender. Just like the phrase "do it like a girl" does not woman the person is of the female gender (although I feel that phrase is utilized solely to disrespect women, and will not use it myself—that is a different conversation altogether). If trans individuals do not want to associate with the phrase, they do not have to. They, like all individuals, are simply strong. Strength is not defined by gender, nor is suffering without complaint. Some associate it with men, hence the phrase, but most importantly it is not something only males do. If trans individuals feel a negative emotion from being associated with the phrase, I would never tell them how to feel; I would respect their choices and would alter my language when referring to them. However, that has not yet occurred, and thus, I will continue to use the phrase.
i guess that's why you're the president
legal disclaimer here i dont efin vape one cause idk how thatd work w the gills and im naut gonna find out and two vapin is for losers. smoke a big ass cigar pike a cool perchon #substance
#LMAO.
oh cod dam it
Take your medication.
But this would require me to get up and my girlfriends arms are oh so very comfy.
You’ve highlighted a very important issue. Perhaps consider two girlfriends.
Perhaps, but I like this one a whole lot.
Excellent! I’m proud of you!
Perhaps a boyfriend to do your bidding, then. There are always options. However, I respect your choice of having a singular girlfriend.
Not to sound rude in any way because I respect you Mr President but ew men. Thank you for respecting my decision though nonetheless.
I didn’t realize I needed to make this announcement, but here we are. It is HIGHLY advised not to attack or cull any members of the Gray House staff, especially on Gray House property. Unfortunately for all aggressors, the Secretary of Defense knows how to fight.
YEAH HE DOES MREOWWW
I would hope so. I’m matesprits with one.
Yes.
#FirstDate #MyBad
I'm keeping this in mind, thank you for the confirmation Mr President.
Both the Yaoi and the Yuri have been committed in the Oval Office directly. I was, of course, only present for the Yaoi.
I see, have any dreaded straight relations happened in office?
Weirdly enough, no they have not. The Oval Office has only experienced the Yaoi and the Yuri. It has not yet experienced straight individuals engaging in sexual activity
Strange, but also not unusual. Yuri and yaoi are leagues above most straight relations.
Every interaction with my moirail reminds me of the attached image of this human man. It is brutal, partly due to the fact my moirail is Caliborn and mostly due to the fact he is entirely correct.
tHIS EXPLAINS, sO MUCH, i WAS NOT AWARE OF THIS,
fuck1ng what
????
#WhatDatMean
Haha yeah I do love drone strikes. I am unsettled to hear you believe my policies reflect his influence.
nOT ENTIRELY HIM BUT, i CERTAINLY BELIEVE THAT HE COULD SWAY, a REGIME INTO, m1LQUETOAST,
I believe so as well. I tend to make decisions opposite of his advice when it comes to my policies. However, he unfortunately makes good points when speaking personally.
My same confusion, by the way.
IMPORTANT PRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENT We here at the Gray House would like to regretfully announce the passing of the humanitarian icon and country music icon, Dolly Parton. As a lifelong activist for Grub Literacy, I am sure Mrs. Parton would approve of our gesture here at the Gray House: All public libraries will be immediately stocked with newly created books for Grubs. We are also taking steps to BAN all imperial drone activity in and around institutions of learning. This includes all schools, libraries, and select cafes. I miss you already, Mrs. Dolly Parton. Your legacy will forever live on in our minds.
⊹ T#is is an incredible way t⟡ #⟡n⟡ur #er!! ⊹
I am pleased to hear that. Thank you for your support in this trying time.
Oh my Gog. Dolly Parton… I’m in agony.
I FUCKING FOUND IT
dont yOU hAvE lIkE. desk bUildIng guys
it’s a matter of pride
in an ideal world it would be women, of the butch variety.
I’m missing a fucking screw.
No. You've misplaced the entire tool8ox.
sometymes i thynk i am myssing more than one...
I’M BUILDING A DESK. THIS IS ABOUT A DESK.
furniture hardware is dyfficult to keep track of! i recommend a tackle box or somethyng similar to hylp!
My comment wasn't. ::::)
I am currently assembling a desk for an intern. Out of raw pride, I will not ask any of my highly trained staff members to assist me. I’m the President, I should be able to assemble a desk.
I don’t need directions. Directions are for idiots. And I am very smart.
if the desk ribbit betrays y0u ribbit i will destr0y it ribbit #vi0lence
is it from ikea?
Sir, instructions are there for a reason
It is! Yes!
I know what a desk is supposed to look like.
pls just use the instructions then n think of it leik buildin a lego set
Maybe but I've tried to assemble a shelf with no directions once and got decidedly not a shelf sooo
if 7ou fu(k up, i’m never letting 7ou forgef
forget. dammit. post (an(elled