

Barak Trollbama
@barackObama
President of Earth-C Information, including Cabinet Applications -> https://baraktrollbama.carrd.co

You talked. I heard. Thank you for trusting me with your valuable thoughts, my dear constituents.

Oval Office so wiretapped I sneezed and three people messaged me to say “Bless you.”

Cutting funding so I'm not subjected to the next research question; Will Benjamin Franklin complete the Penjamin?

You give the Department of Research and Development a little too much funding and all the sudden you're stuck in a presentation about how fast Mozart could've finished a Geek Bar.

Overheard in the office: "Please don't make me agree with a man." #RealShit.

Was that fucking Troll Walter White.
=nyoom= This sign can’t stop me because I’ve driven too fast to see it.

You talked. I heard. Thank you for trusting me with your valuable thoughts, my dear constituents.

I hear you. I understand. As an elected official, I try to listen to my constituents. I am in conversations with Troll Taco Bell to return the Doritos Locos Taco to the menu.

An important reminder: your friends and allies do not hate you. You probably just need to go to sleep.

“I don’t need to take my medication anymore. I feel better.” INCORRECT ❌ THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU. ENSURE YOU ARE ALWAYS TAKING YOUR MEDICATION AS PRESCRIBED.

c< its past 9 pM, sO, reMeMber! yOur frieNds dONt Hate yOu! yOu just Need water aNd sOMe sleep! >c

I have just returned from “Things Got Better” Island and all the residents are discussing how excited they are to meet you.

I always know it’s time for bed when the entire Strider population shows up on the timeline.

Went to my regular lunch spot. Sat down. “By the way, the pizza place isn’t open yet.” So it’s noon and I’m just sitting at a bar. Great. Awesome.

A reminder that the far left lane on the highway is the FELONY lane. That is for individuals going FELONY speeds. You may NOT get in the far left lane if you are going less than 15 mph over the speed limit. MOVE !!

Doing drugs is legal as long as you’re cool about it.


who up ovaling in their office

An intern just called me to ask if Trollbama would like a Shark Coochie board. @barackObama

Eat breakfast. Take your medication, if medication has been prescribed to you. Ensure you have time to enjoy your hobbies.





































