Dexter Vuzrei
@catastrophicGalaxy
I AM DEXTER VUZREI!!! GENIUS INVENTOR, BUSINESS PERSON, AND SCIENTIST!!! SINGLE MOTHER OF ONE GLUNCH AND A THOUSAND RATS!!! JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE DNI!!!!!!!!! DM ME FOR SWEET DEALS ON ALL SORTS OF COOL GADGETS!!!
I FELT VERY CUTIE PATOOTIE TODAY!!! I TOOK THIS SELFIE AFTER MY MOIRAIL GIFTED ME THE REMAINS OF THE FOUR CEOS THAT IMPLODED A SUBMERSIBLE!!! HTTPS://FILE.GARDEN/AELVJGRZYYZ0NKRU/DEXTRA%20VUZREI.PNG
@CRESCENTICLACUS YOUR SNAILS ARE LAME!!! AND THEY ARE UGLY!!!
∘☽ Y-YOU ARE LAME!!!! ☾∘
AHAHAHAHA!!! THAT IS NOT TRUE!!! SO THEREFORE IS DOES NOT HURT MY FEELINGS!!!! BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS TRUE??? THAT YOU!!! YES YOU!!!! HAVE DUMB SHOES!!!!
@AENEASCALDARIUM UNBLOCK MY PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN CALL YOU!!!! NO BODY IS CALLING THEIR EXES AND I WANT TO BE DIFFERENT!!!! AND YOU ARE AN EX UNETHICAL EXPERIMENT SUBJECT SO CALLING YOU COUNTS!!!!
i dont vwanna :(
PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP????
vwhat do i get outta it?
I WILL GIVE YOU ONE DEXDOLLAR!!! AND WITH A DEXDOLLAR!!! YOU CAN TRADE IT IN FOR A FAVOR!!!! I SUGGEST YOU SAVE UP YOUR DEXDOLLARS!!!!
hmm... a favwor you say... fine, ill unblock you for one (1) dexdollar.
GREAT!!! AMAZING EVEN!!!! NOW AFTER OUR CALL WE MUST ACT LIKE WE HAD A REALLY BIG ARGUMENT TO MAKE CHITTR INTERESTING!!!
WHO AM I??? DEXTER!!! GOING TO CALL!!! I AM GOING TO PRANK CALL THE ALTERNIAN IRS AND TELL THEM THAT I WILL PAY MY TAXES!!!! AND THEN I COMMIT TAX FRAUD!!!!
THAT'S IT!!!! NO MORE MONKEYING AROUND!!!!!! HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/F869D50EAB9B.PNG
I HAVE MORE AURA!!!
HOOLIGANS I SAY. HOOLIGANS ROAMING THESE STREETS, SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THESE DARN KIDS A HEARTFELT LIFE LESSON TO GET THEM TO TURN THEIR LIVES AROUND..
CAN IT OLD MAN!!! YOU!!! YES YOU!!! AS IN THE OLD MAN THAT I AM SPEAKING TO!!! TAKE YOUR MEDS!!! I HOPE YOU BREAK A HIP!!! IN FACT!!! I AM WORKING ON THE BREAKINGYOURHIPINATOR!!!! GUESS WHAT IT DOES??
MARZHA BEAT HIS ASS
[|||] wow, looking real cute theeereee iiin theee middleee if iii do say sooo myseeelf ;]
EHEHEHEHE!!! YES I KNOW!!! I AM SO ADORABLE!!!!
@EGGPAWNADVENTURER YOU!!! YES YOU!!! DESERVE BARBARA!!! YOU OUT OF EVERY ONE ON CHITTR HAS SEEN HER FOR THE LOVELY EDUCATED WOMAN THAT SHE IS!!!! YOU SHALL BE THE ONE TO TAKE HER ON A WONDERFUL DATE TO CHILI'S!!! SHE WOULD LOVE TO GO...RIGHT NOW!!!! IT WILL TAKE HER 30 MINUTES TO GET READY!!!!!
PERHAPS YOU WILL BE LUCKY AND ONE OF MY OTHER APPLIANCES WILL GAIN SENTIENCE!!! RIGHT NOW MY REFRIGERATOR HAS BEGUN LOOKING AT ME!!! ...EGH....
i.will.pay.you.so.much.money.to.make.a.sentient.honda.civic.ill.fucking.do.anything.do.you.want.my.hive.i.can.give.you.my.hive.or.like.some.of.my.robot.bodies.do.you.want.twinkbot.i.hate.twinkbot.but.you.can.have.him.please
>>I_WILL_TREAT_HER_THE_BEST_I_CAN ALL_THE_TRIPLE_DIPPERS_SHE_COULD_EVER_WANT AND_OF_COURSE_HER_DRINK_OF_CHOICE_
I SEE THAT MY TOASTER OVEN, BARBARA, IS EXTREMELY POPULAR WITH THE ROBOTIC FELLOWS!!!! BOTH @EGGPAWNADVENTURER AND @BUSINESSEVERYDAY WANT TO DATE HER!!! I SHALL CONSULT WITH AN EXPERT ON THIS MATTER!!!! @PLAYFULPINNIPED WHAT WOULD ALTERNIA'S CUPID EXPERT SAY IS THE CHOICE THAT BARBARA NEEDS TO MAKE!!! SHE IS VERY TORN!!!!
>>I_WILL_NOT_MAKE_HER_CHOOSE_ME_BUT_I_WILL_DO_MY_BEST_TO_TREAT_HER_RIGHT_IF_SHE_DOES._
I've.made.custom.straps.to.fuck.so.far.one.dvd.drive,.two.pencil.sharpeners,.and.the.exhaust.port.of.half.a.dozen.honda.civics im.the.only.bot.that.can.please.her.in.the.way.she.needs.
A DOZEN HONDA CIVICS IS SO SPECIFIC
I.have.a.type
X YOU MOTHERFUCKER DID YOU GET THE REPLACEMENT SHARPENER TOO???? x
maybe.but.she.was.just.so.passionate,.hardly.made.it.out.of.the.scuttlebuggy
(◕ ᴥ ◕) GUWHAT THE
ONE DAY TOO LATE!!!
(◕ ᴥ ◕) GUWHATEVER I DONT ADVISE ROBOTS GUANYWAYS
I, DEXTER VUZREI, HAS ACCIDENTALLY MADE MY TOASTER OVEN SENTIENT!!! I WILL NOT ANSWER HOW!!! HOWEVER!!! SHE HAS MADE IT VERY KNOWN THAT SHE, BARBARA AS SHE LIKES TO BE CALLED, WANTS A HUNKIN' HOT BOYFRIEND!!!! SO IF THERE ARE ANY LONELY ROBOTS OUT THERE!!! HIT HER UP!!! BUT NO KITCHEN APPLIANCE FUCKERS!!!! SHE REFUSES TO BE SEEN AS AN OBJECT!!! #SINGLEANDREADYTOMINGLE HTTPS://FILE.GARDEN/AE0AHUTWQWUGSSV0/DEXTOASTER.PNG
SHE MAY BE A BADDIE!!! BUT SHE IS ALSO A #FEMINIST AND A #EDUCATEDWOMAN!!!! BARBARA WANTS A MAN WITH CLASS!!!!
WAIT.HOLY.SHIT.WHAT?!?!?!??!?. guys guys.guys. #zemfucks.is.finally.coming.in.clutch
>>I_CANNOT_CONSUME_ORGANIC_MATTER,_BUT_I_WILL_BE_PUNCTUAL. I_AWAIT_YOUR_COMMAND_FOR_THE_DATE'S_BEGINNING._
HMMMM...IT SEEMS THAT A LOT OF ROBOTS WANT BARBARA'S HAND...YOU MAY HAVE TO EITHER!!! A. ALL FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!! OR B. ENTER A BACHELORETTE ADJACENT TELEVISION SHOW AND THERE YOU WILL FIGHT FOR HER HAND!!!!!
I.will.turn.them.to.a.fucking.paste this.is.my.second.tv.show.for.someone's.hand.im.a.pro.at.this.aint.that.right.richy
♦️█ ░ ... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ h0w d0es barbara like getting bread? ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️
SHE ENJOYS BAKING BREAD!!! THAT IS CORRECT!!!!
♦️█ ░ s0unds like an amazing perk...unf0rtunately...i like her invent0r t00 much t0 ever settle f0r the creati0n...uwa...it w0uld be...selfish 0f me...even th0ugh i c0uld p0ssess...an utterly dr0pdead g0rge0us...smart fridge...0r 0ven that seeks t0 spit warmth 0ver her...she c0uld never find elsewhere...perhaps a lawn m0urner...that keeps hedges clean and reaved...as far as the ganderbulbs can see...0r a fan...dedicated and true...whatever i ch00se...n0 washing machine b0dy c0uld wash away the c0vet0us sin...0f preferring y0ur c0mpany t0 hers...it is crue bey0nd w0rds...unpard0nable... ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ g0menasai...barbara-kun...f0rget ab0ut me! and please find l0ve everlasting...with s0meb0dy else! ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️
What is....the suggestive...tag...for....(' o ' ❀) ^ Clueless
YOU LIKE HER INVENTOR TOO MUCH I SEE!!! I CANNOT BLAME YOU!!! HER CREATOR IS A VERY CHARMING SCIENTIST!!!!
DALE WHEN I GET YOU DALE!!!! WHEN I GET YOU!!!!
ᐖ U MEAN @HEEᐖLESSᑈHEAPSKATE ? ᐛ
(V)(',,')(V) DAF℧K DAF℧K DA℧FK DID DALE DO
♦️█ ░ let me kn0w...if y0u need s0me tips f0r really "getting them"...i used t0 be rather handy with a blade y0u kn0w...really small 0nes that are hard t0 find...bef0re a liter 0r m0re is everywhere t0 be f0und! 00psie! ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️ ♦️█ ░ 0r did y0u n0t need that kind 0f help? ▒ ▓❤️
I MAY NOT NEED THIS KIND OF HELP FOR NOW...BUT THIS SKILL SET OF YOURS IS USEFUL TO KNOW...I WILL USE YOUR EXPERTISE SOON BUT NOT NOW??? WHAT FOR YOU MAY ASK??? TIME WILL TELL!!!
EVERY ONE WHO'S NAME IS DALE!!! RAISE YOUR HAND!!! NOW!!!!
mY NAME IS NOT, dALE, sORRY,
MY NOTIFICATIONS!!!!
(^ . ^ ❀)
♦️█ ░ kyu~! ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️
WAIT PHILOX WHAT ARE YOU DOING...NO STOP!!! I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF WHAT I WOULD DO ONCE I REACHED A KULT SCORE OF 10000!!!!
My....power...!!! (> . < ❀)
♦️█ ░ b00! ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♦️
SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN WHEN MY KULT SCORE REACHES TO 10000!!! AND I WILL NOT ELABORATE ON WHAT!!!!
Gasp...! (O . O ❀) We...must work together.... to make...this happen... (> o < ❀)
that’s so fucking many
Impossible number to reach. It'll never happen.
♦️█ ░ hehe...hey dexter...i am g0ing t0 haunt y0ur kult... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♦️
GUYS!!! THE GHOST OF ZEBRUH JUST FOLLOWED ME!!!! GRUBTUBE VIDEO DROPPING IN AN HOUR!!!!
OH MY GOG ITS AN ACTUAL GHOST!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING HIM TO ACTUALLY BE ALIVE!?!? AND HE LIKED MY SELFIE???? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!! #VAGUEPOST
he likes you
sorr7, what the fu(k? is that zebruh ba(k? didn't fu(king (aliborn unmake him?
AT THREE AM!!! YES YOU ARE READING THIS!!! AT THREE AM!!! I!!! DEXTER VUZREI!!! WILL BE MESSAGING THE ACCOUNT OF THE GHOST CHITTR USER!!! DO NOT MISS THIS FOR THIS WILL BE THE TEST IF GHOSTS ARE REAL OR NOT!!!! THIS IS AN EVENT FOR THE CENTURY!!!! #VAGUEPOST
Gh.o°sts are fake and n.o°t real
CAN YOU SPONSOR ME AND SEND ME A LIFE TIME SUPPLY OF DR PEPPER???
[|||] dooo you haaave the troooll ghostbusteeers on speeed dial??? i heard thaaat bustin' maaakes them feeel good
I d.o° n.o°t think y.o°ur market reach is cl.o°se t.o° en.o°ugh f.o°rthat t.o° be a viable ch.o°ice f.o°r me
[DILIGENTLY TUNED IN DEXTER!]
UM UM UM UMMMMMMMM!!!?? I THOUGHT WE KILLED HIM!!! HOW DID HE HATE MY CHITT IF HE IS DEAD???? #VAGUEPOST
creepypasta ass post
Whistles innocently.
Perhaps it's some sort of bug or technical hangup? The retired accounts have something of a tendency to get a little quirky late at night.
MAID CATGIRL OR MAID PUPPYBOY??? THAT IS THE REAL METHOD THAT SOCRATES SOUGHT TO CREATE!!!!!
AREN'T I SO CUTE!!! TEHHEHEHEEE!!! WHILE LOOKING AT MY CUTE AND UNASSUMING FACE!!! YOU SHOULD ALSO CHECK OUT MY DEALS ON WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!!! DO YOU NOT WANT TO BUY A NUCLEAR BOMB AFTER LOOKING AT ME??? BUY MY STUFF!!!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! HTTPS://FILE.GARDEN/AE0AHUTWQWUGSSV0/CUTIEDEXTER.PNG
You are....so...cute...and unassuming...waters you...like a flower....(^ . ^ ❀)
I AM SO THIRSTYYYYY!!!! GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP WATER ME MORE!!!! I AM WILTING BY THE MINUTE!!!
c< id lOve 2 buy a Nuclear bOMb Off Of yOu! >c
Oh no....(u . u ❀) We cannot have that.....I will....water...you more... (> . < ❀) [ Dexter is being given SO MUCH water irl rn]
GREAT!!! GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION!!! EVERY THING!!! ACTUALLY SEND ME A COPY OF YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!! I WILL HAVE THE NUCLEAR WEAPON MAILED TO YOU IN UNDER TEN SECONDS!!!!!
c< HMMMMM ill see wHat i caN dO! >c
@BULGECURATOR VESSIE WESSIE!!! LIGHT OF MY LIFE!!! MY POOKIE WOOKIE BEAR!!! KILL @ADRENALINESCHARGE WITH YOUR ABILITIES!!!!! HE HAD THE NERVE TO REFER TO YOU WITH THE PET NAME THAT I USE FOR YOU!!!!! #VIOLENCE
~Vesi I think instead ~Of explO~ding me uhh... I dunnO~. I wO~nder if I c~Ould like... twist and turn my bulge like sO~me sO~rta lO~ckpicking minigame and dO~dge the meiO~nic expl~Osi~On. Like, sure, explO~ding bulges is yO~ur p~Ower, but my p~Ower is making things nO~t expl~Ode. I think I deserve tO~ be an imm~Ovable O~bject, I have my niche and I'm sticking t~O it. S~O like, yO~u'd think real hard abO~ut my bulge and it'd start inflating like a ball~OO~n, but then I'd prick my prick with a needle and it'd deflate, then yO~u'd think harder and it'd light ~On the end like a fuse, and I'd have tO~ blO~w it O~ut ~Of c~Ourse, but I g~Ot my ribs remO~ved ages agO~ f~Or exactly that, sO~ it'd be nO~ pr~Oblem, then y~Ou'd make me play Th~Ose Endearing Little Charms but the final n~Ote is rigged up tO~ b~O~Om bO~Om my bulge bulge, but I keep messing up the final nO~te, and Dexter gets all mad and pushes me aside sO~ she can play it right, and then HER bulge gets bO~O~med @bulgeCurat~Or ~ ~#nsfw #vi~Olence #b~Ody-hO~rrO~r?~
HTTPS://FILE.GARDEN/AE0AHUTWQWUGSSV0/WHATTHEFUCK.PNG
SOME OF YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE THE PROFILE PICTURE THAT YOU SAY IS YOU!!! I CAN TELL A CATFISHER WHEN I SEE ONE!!!