Barak Trollbama
@barackObama
My fellow Alternians...
While I will not be attending today’s event, note I have placed operatives to help assist those who may need aid. One team will be following in a secure helicopter.
What is on the docket for tonight’s #EridanWeek? I have not been keeping up with it as I should be.
If that oiled up man isn’t there, I see no reason for my attendance.
There is so much of the Yaoi happening between kismesis on my timeline right now. I am sure Rankmaid is pleased.
I am extending a formal invitation to @detectiveMiller, as well as @detectiveBarker, to join my universe. It has been brought to my attention that gay marriage is not allowed in his world, and while I cannot change their policies, I can invite them to partake in ours. I am sure I speak for the rest of my constituents when I say: Welcome, both of you.
I think I would die if I saw colors.
Fear not. We will fit you with monochrome lenses; you will not see colors (and you would look even more mysterious)!
Ah thank you. There is just one problem though. I do not love this fink.
is it not entertaining to see how their cat and mouse game unfolds?
Apologies. I am fending off the demon as we speak he is persistent. And won't stop.
I didn’t realize there was #detectiveYaoi sub genre. Clearly I have much to learn.
I didn’t realize today for #EridanWeek we would be put into the detective Yaoi-verse.
Not that I am complaining. Just surprised.
You may break a few laws if it is your birthday. Consider it a reward.
Remembering this for when Septempurrr rolls around, mew~ 💖✨
Always remember: When in doubt, blame RONALD REAGAN.
In light of today's #EridanWeek event, I would like to release an official statement. I am not dead. The "explosion" was entirely metaphorical, and everyone involved in the event is (mostly) fine (except for that one guy who got stabbed).
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 I've occasionally heard that I was kicked out for being a Communist, for dealing drugs, for corrupting minors, or for diverse other infractions of local decorum. Unfortunately, none of these rumours are true. The one I've heard more often is that I am dead. That one I encouraged, hoping it would cut down on the junk mail. It didn't. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
There is not enough of the Yuri on my timeline.
:33 < i f33l mewr pain, meowster purresident trollbama....
I fuckiiiing l◯◯◯◯ve †hȺ† †hiiii§ guuy i§ iiin chȺrgeee
I TRULY BELIEVED YOU WERE A MAN OF THE PEOPLE. I SEE NOW I WAS WRONG TO VOTE FOR YOU.
Okay I'm normal again my bad.
#ImComing.
I have something inappropriate to say.
this is (hittr, we're all sa7ing inappropriate stuff. speak 7our truth!
My actions during #EridanWeek do not define me as a person.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS WORKS BUT I DO UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS TRUE. #CONCERNING POST REPLY.
Biden, delete my search history NOW.
:33 < its too late meowster purresident... :33 < its b33n leaked...
CHAT IS THIS RIZZ?!
Sorry I'm not sure what possessed me to say that.
I definitely like men.
I think I like men.
fuck yes live your truth king i mean mr president
In an effort to more closely relate to my valued constituents, my team and I have prepared an official statement regarding the #WarOnDrugs. It seems this cause is deeply important to you all, and my silence on the matter speaks volumes. This war, like every war, brings nothing but death, destruction, and misery. Nothing good has ever come of this War, and nothing ever will. Families have been torn apart; loved ones, lost. No policy changes will ever be effective enough. This is not a fight that can be “won” or “lost”—the casualties can only be mitigated. With all this in mind, I would like to formally announce my commitment on the side of Drugs. Thank you.
s0 real!!! ugh wish i c0uld v07e f0r y0u again xc
What the hell is Eridan Week even about.
men SsshirtleSssSss and covered in oil