Barak Trollbama
@barackObama
President of Earth-C Information, including Cabinet Applications -> https://baraktrollbama.carrd.co
Oval Office so wiretapped I sneezed and three people messaged me to say “Bless you.”
By the w★y since you were musing on it I recommend the soup over the s★ndwich tomorrow.
Cutting funding so I'm not subjected to the next research question; Will Benjamin Franklin complete the Penjamin?
smok|ngg tAhtt sh|t thAt d|ssccovrd electr|c||ty
You give the Department of Research and Development a little too much funding and all the sudden you're stuck in a presentation about how fast Mozart could've finished a Geek Bar.
tAhtss |lly :) whAAt flvorr would hee hAve l|kd teh most |ss my quest|oon
well?? don't live us hanging mr. prez!! you gotta share their findings. ( ≖‿ ≖ )
| trr|d oen of those once And thy mAdee me throw up so | ddnt do vApes Anytmore :)
Overheard in the office: "Please don't make me agree with a man." #RealShit.
Was that fucking Troll Walter White.
You talked. I heard. Thank you for trusting me with your valuable thoughts, my dear constituents.
Truly, no one is doing it like you, Mr. President.
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESSSSSS!!!! @THRIVINGGARLAND WAKE THE FUCK UP!!! IT IS BACK!!! IT IS BACK!!! HAVE HAVE REHEARSED THIS!!!!
hhuh,,,,, (- . - ❀) ....gasp....(O . O ❀) It is....back...!! (> O < ❀) ....... [honknkkk mimimimimimiim (u o u ❀)]
☆that’s my gogdamn president, now what about the Kool ranch ones?☆
I hear you. I understand. As an elected official, I try to listen to my constituents. I am in conversations with Troll Taco Bell to return the Doritos Locos Taco to the menu.
thank you obama #mypresident
THANK YOU!!! MY ONE MILLION RAT CHILDREN AND GLUNCH APPRECIATE YOU!!! IN RETURN I WILL STOP SPENDING THE RESEARCH GRANTS THE GOVERNMENT GIVES ME ON NUBBY'S NUMBER FACTORY!!!
cheers of joy roaring doritos locos taco i yearn for the taste .
the cOol ranch o.nes are cruc:al also. ment:o.n br:ng:ng sweet sp:cy ch:l: to. the taco. wo.rld
An important reminder: your friends and allies do not hate you. You probably just need to go to sleep.
“I don’t need to take my medication anymore. I feel better.” INCORRECT ❌ THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU. ENSURE YOU ARE ALWAYS TAKING YOUR MEDICATION AS PRESCRIBED.
If your mental state is maintained by #substance use, I think that counts as medication.
It's not a substance, it's something much more important truthfully. It makes all of life's little problems go away same with the larger more interpersonal issues. Aside from that its not prescribed by a doctor and I only have somewhere around five hits of it per day. :) #substance
I have just returned from “Things Got Better” Island and all the residents are discussing how excited they are to meet you.
Aha, zis is the message that the people need! Yes!!!
They’re gonna jump you.
I always know it’s time for bed when the entire Strider population shows up on the timeline.
nighty night boss im not long behind i fear
Went to my regular lunch spot. Sat down. “By the way, the pizza place isn’t open yet.” So it’s noon and I’m just sitting at a bar. Great. Awesome.
Don't miss me too much. If you need anything, reach out to EE.
A reminder that the far left lane on the highway is the FELONY lane. That is for individuals going FELONY speeds. You may NOT get in the far left lane if you are going less than 15 mph over the speed limit. MOVE !!
Doing drugs is legal as long as you’re cool about it.
who up ovaling in their office
naut after last time #whoops
I'm so sorry Mr President I thought this said "ovulating in their office"
Eat breakfast. Take your medication, if medication has been prescribed to you. Ensure you have time to enjoy your hobbies.
Forgot to include my Matesprit in my list of acceptable Striders, so after much consideration, I have decided to cease work on the previously mentioned law. My bad.
No strider is actually acceptable. But it’s still fucked of you to designate yourself as the authority of which of a type of person is acceptable and which ones aren’t. That’s not how it works.
And yet you’ve given yourself that same authority. Curious. As I previously stated, I have ceased the drafting process.
Obviously Dave Strider variants will be unaffected by the upcoming law. That’s basically my entire voter base.
I know and respect my main demographic. Unsure why it is that way, but I respect it nonetheless.
Fear not; https://chittr.ing/profile/barackObama/1e9bcab5-43db-40e8-86df-25986ef8afc5
I’m currently drafting a law to ban all Striders except for the five I like. Stay tuned. Soon we will know peace.
what no rose dojt let this happeb hey when did trollobama become a dictator
Taps the sign. https://chittr.ing/profile/barackObama/1e62bcef-19b7-4f42-abaa-4632d1b46917
Someone just tried to doxx me by telling me my address. My place of residence very public. It is the Gray House. I’m the President.
"nnice try. buut i already knnew where i lived."
My thoughts exactly. What would be truly interesting if I was told a fact about myself I was unaware of.
th0se are uusuually said by 0mnnip0tennt beinngs. annd they uusuually d0nnt have muuch nnice t0 say annyways.