Barak Trollbama
@barackObama
My fellow Alternians...
What is on the docket for tonight’s #EridanWeek? I have not been keeping up with it as I should be.
Oh fuck that noise.
If that oiled up man isn’t there, I see no reason for my attendance.
Please come get your son, @slenderMan
He keeps asking me to buy him Robux.
I am so Jeff the Pissed off right now.
What happened, Jeff?
I am sorry, Jeff the Jorkered.
I am extending a formal invitation to @detectiveMiller, as well as @detectiveBarker, to join my universe. It has been brought to my attention that gay marriage is not allowed in his world, and while I cannot change their policies, I can invite them to partake in ours. I am sure I speak for the rest of my constituents when I say: Welcome, both of you.
I think I would die if I saw colors.
Fear not. We will fit you with monochrome lenses; you will not see colors (and you would look even more mysterious)!
Ah thank you. There is just one problem though. I do not love this fink.
... I'd like to agree to disagree, sir.
Barking news! Jade harley won dog of the year competition Multiple dog owners mad because "she isn't a real dog" Any opinions? Stay tuned
She is classified as having that "dog" in her, so per the rulebook, her win is completely legal. Congratulations, Jade!
A detective is a type of samurai.
I’d love to know more. What makes you say this?
✝+ What are the dectectives detecting? +✝
Sexual tension , by the looks of it.
I didn’t realize today for #EridanWeek we would be put into the detective Yaoi-verse.
Not that I am complaining. Just surprised.
You may break a few laws if it is your birthday. Consider it a reward.
3v3ry day i2 my hatchdat3
That seems unlikely
Oh... I have... I think I have found another purpose. #millerverse #noir #nsfw
Oh? Do share, if you may.
Fair enough.
Oh dearie me I sure hope nobody is getting the wrong idea of my "pickup lines" I am not interested in any women. I do hope this is an appropriate place to say this or I suppose I will be out of a job and city and possibly my life. I do not think aliens have the same rules as humans do though.
I can assure you, Mr. Detective, you will not be removed from any city for your sexuality as long as I am around. Freedom is the backbone of our nation.
No worry. You do not need to.
I am surprised at the lack of reference to your hit song “Fireball,” Mr. Bull. It is a favorite of mine.
I am often asked if I could forgive even the Empress herself for her part in the suffering of our people. What I think we should be asking, instead, is whether the Empress is capable of redemption. Yes. A thousand times yes. I believe that there is no troll beyond redemption. Were the Empress to walk up to me and ask for guidance in trying to be better, who would I be to deny her that? But she has to want it. We have to want it. You have to want it. That is the difference, the defining factor, at the end of the night. We cannot save those who dig their heels in and refuse to be saved.
A truly noble outlook. I could certainly gain to learn a thing or two via your ways.
Here you go @barackObama #eridanweek https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a8b28d8e7e9e.jpg
Beautiful. Thank you, Mr. Strider. May I call you Mr. Strider?