David E. Strider
@turntableGuardian
no introductions needed || Non-Director Alpha Dave ||
just watched myself trip over a rock then jump back so no one saw it mini-mes need to learn that handling failure is cooler that pretending it never happens
honestly thats just a waste of a jump at that point shit happens
dude i am so exhausted for no fucking reason whatsoever who the fuck beamed me with their exhaustion can you take it back i dont want it
Bro i think you may be Anemic....
There's no shame in being anemic...Being exhausted perpetually is a sign of anemia
Just sat and stared at a wall for an hour.
THAT'S HONESTLY THE BEST FUCKING THING YOU CAN DO WHEN NOT ABLE TO SLEEP. THE WALL IS GREAT COMPANY SOMETIMES.
> If you want sleep then just sleep, really it's such an easy fix. Smh my head.
> An ellipsis because you know I'm just so right for such an easy solution. Thank you! >8)
No I'm ...ing cause I think you're the dumbest motherfucker I've ever interacted with.
> Sounds to me like you don't know how to simply sleep. Skill issue honestly! LOL!
I can't handle this shit twice in one day #VaguePosting #TheSecondTimeIsWorse
Think this is the hardest I've ever slept. 10 whole hours. Goddamn.
It was fun watching you sleep.
I'm sure my snoring made for great entertainment. Might even rank a little higher than paint drying.
My average is like, 5. Not sure how you motherfuckers are racking up over 10.
I hope you didn't mind that I laid next to you for a little bit, just so that I could observe your sleeping patterns. You snore, but it's so quiet and cute.
Not sure how to feel about that, frankly. Gonna chock that up as The Ironies™ and keep it outta mind.
*Chalk. Maybe I should go back to sleep.
am I allowed to laugh when my best friend's dad makes a joke but the punchline is sex?? I'm almost 40 and it still feels fucking weird to do that
i don't think you need special permission to laugh at my dad's corny jokes, let alone any dad's corny jokes, dave.
still feels weird laughing at a sex joke when the guy who told it knew me as a snotty little middle schooler
okay yeah i see your point. i'd be caught dead if i was laughing at anything bro says.
holy shit @twinAmnesias just liked 97 of my posts I didn't realise I had that many
IIndeed. You are one of the fiir2t of the 2triider2 who doe2 not 2eem two appear two have thiinkpan damage. You 2hould relii2h iin your great viictory of not beiing "a giiant dbag".
I'm like 40 with a kid I don't have time to be a douche to random people online I'm just here to be whimsical and kinda silly
Totally awe2ome. We ju2t had a @hu22iiahHu22iie come iin who thiink2 they own the place, and II have no iidea what or who they are, ju2t that II have a deeply 2eeded hatred for whoever they are and theiir 2tupiid face and theiir appearance here iinherently dii2gu2t2 me. II need two cool down before II blow my thiinkpan clear out the back.
2peak of the iinfernal barkbea2t and they 2hall arii2e.
II came iinto exii2tence iin thii2 bubble not knowiing who II or anyone from my tiimeliine ii2. A2 2oon a2 II 2aw you II went from beiing mo2tly peaceful and happy two experiienciing an entiirely vii2ceral and 2iickeniing feeliing comiing from my abdomiinal 2au2age2. II cannot place thii2 feeliing, iit ii2 a hatred 2o deeply 2ewn iinto my exii2tence that iit defiie2 all logiic. 2omehow II really beliieve that my current po2iitiion ii2 entiirely your fault. II would tell you normally two not take thii2 per2onally, but plea2e take thii2 fuckiing per2onally, methiink’2t thou art a general offence and every man 2hould beat thee.
as ive gotten older and developed a semi functioning frontal lobe theres something i realized a profound truth weighing on my soul i gotta get off my chest i was such a shitty little chud when i was thirteen thank fuck the earth blew up before i was doxxed or something
actually no this one was too sincere i was awesome and funny and i have never needed to self reflect ever my opinions about dane cook are still correct btw he is a poor mans ben stiller and a poorer mans jim carrey
how i look when i follow my stupid fucking moral code that i hate https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6199957ddf81.png
YOU COULD ALWAYS JUST BREAK IT.
maybe i just need a good fuck to get me out of my head. #nsfw
... I believe the majority of people think this way. I'm slowly not becoming an exception.
mm. such is life. havent exactly been in the mood though so its a double edged sword.
A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?” The horse cannot respond because the horse is a horse. It can neither speak or understand. It’s confused by its surroundings. It gallops out, knocking over a few tables on the way. #dadjokes
does @lilShitpeta ever sleep?
no shes always watching always ready to strike
:33< sad as i am to admeowt it my body does force meow to do so efurry nyow and again...
:33< too true bestie
:33 < we nepetas dont sl33p the same as othpurrs :33 < we go until our body furrces us to sl33p :33 < which is around 3-7 times a day :33 < then we wake up and burn the energy as fast as pawssible befurr passing out again
my entire page this morning is just other mes finally some good content
what can i say we deliver in the darkest of nights (or the brightest of days if youre some kind of nocturnal weirdo) you can always count on some version of dave giving the chittr feed some serious cpr
the Strider printer's at it again. and by it, i mean. well. haha. its usual function.
yknow I don't think my day is complete without that awesome fucker hating all the random comments I leave on fuck knows what
Now I have two people doing it my lobster is buttery and my steak is juicy https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/07d75b63c0a0.png
oh the crows ate it
The crows ate what?
Did they solve your problem for you?
no but they'll fix it if it gets out of hand again we're all good
Take what you can get, as they say.
my kitchen doesn't look like the RE7 mansion again so that's also a plus
oh shit it blinked
so uh turned out that jar was mould and now I'm living in the house from rezzy 7 someone should probably come sort this
so I was like kidding before but it did just move on its own I don't think I'm joking anymore
this one needed 2 jars. not ideal but we adapt
the crows stopped watching. that's how you know it worked unrelated to the last post
found something weird. it's in a jar now so we'll circle back later
like a whole ass creature?
weird as hell