Dave Strider
@turntechGodhead
28 he/him Farmer on Earth C ((Post canon)) ((Sometimes NSFW 🔞DNI))
I feel like I just did a heros journey but really it was just helping mayor pick up trash around town.
Do not trust a short Dave. A mind so devious should be be allowed to leave your line of sight so easily..
if you walk behind the couch and I can't see you we're all cooked. Devious schemes will become an inevitability due to paradox space and mathematical probability.
Does the couch have its own dust bunny landlord or is it still part of the original lease agreement?
i mean i doubt the couch government has rent control. And the inflation is just out of control ever since 45 cents fell into the crack the remote normally sits in.
I don't have children. I have 20 sheep 60 chickens and one mutent ostrich.
I Am Always Saying This.
With those numbers you could open up a reverse petting zoo!
The animals pet *you*.
Are you open to visitors?
So could i allegedly swing by?
Oh no is this the strilond mental illness hour!?
Okay put all that away in the vault hurray. I feel much better.
Indeed. I’ve come to learn through my brief time here that for most the complexities do layer up. In my timeline it is a touch more simple… Or it was. The arrival of babies resembling us carried by meteors has thrown a proverbial wrench in that simplicity. Ectobiology is a strange thing.
trust me, sending the babies was a far stranger experience. Accept the free parenthood.
i think it means that like the world will end in like one billion years your time which like??? Not a bad deal.
That is a relief. I will confess the knowledge granted to me on this site was making me fret over my dreams but if it’s so far off I suppose one can do nothing but allow it to be.
I believe in my timeline your daughter never actually met you so that change could mean anything. It's probably fine though.
She didn’t? I haven’t known her long but the thought of having never met her at all is upsetting. Did she do alright in the end?
i have some incredibly unpopular opinions that should be shared only with a trusted professional. #vent #dashwatching
https://i.postimg.cc/VLbnnCbB/sddefault.jpg
I did everything right and I'm still not asleep. This is bullshit.
ZKILL IZZUE
Do the impossible see the invisible raw! raw! fight the power! touch the untoucheable break the unbreakable raw! raw! fight the power! The indomitable human spirit has won!
Fellas is this new gen slang for painting the ceiling?
bro is painting the sistine chapel with this one
It's far funnier to leave that up to interpretation. If i wanted you to think that I would have tagged it. Also obligatory, my drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens joke.
apparently it was painted in a day though
everyone thinks marble is white because of the science and shit. Nah it's just all those damn Romans blasting away on everything.
hahahah holy shit
DO NOT SEND ME YOUR PITTY, I AM CRANKING MY HOG. #nafw
X CHITTR!!! PITY THIS MAN!!! x
rule 1 never tell the internet not to do something
hahaha
You paused high fiving your soldier to ask us NOT to pity you? Seems a tad suspicious bro.
Maybe its because im not a time player but i cant imagine any instance where you did not actively rope us into your extracurricular activities. You know this is hardly the site where anyone will judge you poorly for wanting an audience to your performance.
I am being the deadest of ass, this was in response to a chitt i chitted earlier where i was like "time to crank my hog" and then people pittied it. The thought came unto me like Zeus birthing Athena. Legally your honor i was not beating my meat yet, no cucumbers had been polished. Then this post blew up.
Speaking of giving up, i think it's about time for me to jack that shit. #nsfw
Need someone to metaphorically hop on this thang and spin on it. Metaphorically #nsfw
My neurons are permanently damaged. Dopamine must be earned.
The chocobo's name is Gregory "Apples" Beethoven Strider.
how the hell did ♤ hum♤n get ♤ gi♤nt squ♤wkfiend. wh♤t the fuck.
fuck why dkes the horse bird get two middle names and i dont get any what the fjck
everything is about THE METS BABY ITS ALL ABOUT THE METS LETS GO METS
I'm here trying to figure out five d chess meanwhile I'm pretty sure she's just eatin the pieces
If we're homies then you should know I'm laying on my stomach and kicking my feet back and forth when you send me a message.
I'm not even high why does jackin it feel so good. #substance #nsfw
we could be making out but you playing.
Apples. Although a boy this good will certainly get himself more names. Like Gregory "Apples" Beethoven Strider. Something.
3xc3ll3n7 n4m3, 819 f4n 0f 3v3ry7h1n9 480u7 17. 819 f4n 0f 9r390ry "4ppl35" 8337h0v3n 57r1d3r.