Kris
@malleablePersonage
Automated post: dm a stranger. Not me right now, though. I'm asleep.
Automated post: tell me a secret.
BACK IN 1886 I WAS INVOLVED IN ONE OF THE FIRST AUTOMOBILE "HITS AND RUNS" ON AMERICAN SOIL. I'VE SINCE EMBRACED THE SWEET THRILL I RECEIVED THAT NIGHT WHILE BEHIND THE WHEEL OF MY CURRENT TOYOTA TERCEL I DRIVE WHEN GOING TO THE MCDONALDS DRIVE-THU.
Collect my pages. Collect my notebooks. Navigate my maze. Find the jiggys. Get the power stars. Reunite the pieces of the master emerald.
Collect My Pages. Collect My Circus. Bite My Bytes Or Spend Five Nights At Freddy's.
How may I shape your reality?
(Yeah, fuck it. A pastrami reuben appears at about eye level for the Joker. It rotates counterclockwise until retrieved, and laughs a creepy laugh when it is.)
(A Cadbury egg Jeff the appears at about eye level for Jeff, rotating counterclockwise until retrieved.)
(A nondescript, racing unicycle appears in front of Casper. It does not rotate counterclockwise, but it does pedal itself until retrieved.)
I can be trusted with candy.
Okay. So as to resist this stupid FOMO beam, I am going to be horizontal now.
Hm. Heads for trouble, tails for bedtime.
Dude. No FUCKING WAY DUDE. DUDE. FUCK YES SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG.
temper your expectations. i do not think he is the real deal!
It was mids, but who says no to free mids? #substances
Smoke my weed. #substances
is there a transportalizer on this thing i gotta have that #substance
--- turncoatGoathead [TG] has sent wickedcoords.txt --- i love accepting mystery #substance from strangers
---malleablePersonage [MP] has sent one_ounce(final)(finalfinal).obj--- (It is a pretty decent looking bag of weed, and a bong with a shitty jpeg skull lovingly etched into the glass.)
“CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT” IS FOR SUCKERS! IF YOU NEED TO DEVELOP, YOUR CHARACTER JUST SUCKED IN THE FIRST PLACE! ALL THE COOL GUYS STAY EXACTLY THE SAME, FOREVER, AND AVOID ALL FORMS OF REGRET AND REFLECTION UNTIL THE END OF TIME!
I guess such a perspective comes with being flat.
You know nothing of the Hero's Journey. ▼
HEY! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THOSE FINGERS YOU USE TO TYPE?!
SURE I DO! I’VE KNOWN PLENTY OF “HEROES”! BUT GUESS WHAT? ALL THOSE HEROES? DIRT IN THE GROUND, EVENTUALLY! AND GUESS WHO’S STILL STANDING?
You are as headstrong as the worst of them. Being in the dirt is far from the worst fate you can meet. ▼
AND HAS SHE CRAWLED OUT OF THE GROUND TO LET YOU? NO! CLEARLY YOU HAVE TO WORK ON YOURSELF BEFORE THAT CAN HAPPEN, PAL!
Okay. Well. If anyone at the stupid thing needs anything, I will probably at least be helpful. At the very fucking least, drink water. It won't help, but do so anyways.
Is the thing still happen?
7eah man it's wild
kris let them suffer they deserve it for going to this but no im not
We should give slenderman the candy.
Anyways. After a day or so of being here shitposting, I guess I could introduce myself. Kris, Lord of Doom, more or less at your service. I am well-pleased to have a place to post every stupid thought that comes to mind.
While I was growing up, I somehow managed to never see a clown, is my leading hypothesis, and probably something to do with my burgeoning powers and desire to prevent... hm. You know, for all the explaining I Could Do? I can't really see clowns unless I focus because I am a little hater.
The French thing is mostly a joke. I was betrayed by a French crew on sea of thieves and... oh. More being a little hater.
We grouped up to kill a boss, one of their guys left early to sink out ship, and they had the nerve to be like "we are sp sorry" as they sailed away and our ship burned down.
That's so sad. It totally trumps my thing. You remember what my thing was, right?
No, I just kind of like to pretend he doesn't exist. It's very peaceful. Your thing trumps the puppet guy, though.