[An image is attached. It's a large, beautiful kitchen, decorated in a carefully curated modern Victorian style. It's immaculate... Except for the conspicuously destroyed oven in the middle of the picture. It's crushed flat, almost as if by a giant can crusher. There are shreds of stainless steel scattered across the floor, and scorch marks on the wall the oven had been against.] When I asked him to explain, his only explanation was "you know how it is with spaghetti." I do not, in fact, know how it is with spaghetti. I fear that even Doom itself cannot hold a candle to the sheer destructive force that is my older brother.
I WENT THROuGH THIS ONCE. EXCEPT. I WAS THE OLDER BROTHER. SO I COuLD HOLD A CANDLE TO MYSELF QuITE EASILY. WHILE PARADOXICALLY. STILL BEING DOOM ITSELF. FOR MANY. SOME MIGHT EVEN SAY MOST. I COuLD KILL WITH IMPuNITY. AND WAS DROWNING. IN uNFATHOMABLE DEPTHS. OF ABSOLuTELY uNENCROACHABLE uPON. BITCH QuANTITIES. THE NuMBERS DON'T EVEN DO IT JuSTICE. LIKE I NEED TO STRESS. TO YOu. RANDOM HOSTAGE DIGITAL STRANGER. I COuLD BARELY COME uP FOR AIR. THAT BEING SAID. YOu KNOW WHAT WOuLD GIVE YOu A LOT MORE BREATHING AIR? SIGNING uP. WITH $CASHYOuOuTIBORN3. START SAVING NOW. YOuRSELF. FROM FINANCIAL BITCH DESTITuTION. BE LIKE ME. A WINNER. AND NOT LIKE YOu. BITCHMADE BY YOuR BROTHER.
Somehow I find myself feeling as though our situations are not particularly similar. I am more than financially comfortable. If you wish to shill your scams, I would at least advise making a post to the main dashboard to better reach the masses.
SCAMS? HAH. SCAMS. LOOK AT YOu. SO uNKNOWING. YOu ARE RIGHT IN ONE RESPECT. OuR SITuATIONS ARE NOT. PARTICuLARLY SIMILAR. IN FACT. THEY ARE DIVORCED. COMPLETELY. AND MINE TOOK ALL THE MONEY AND BITCHES AND HOES. AND YOuRS WAS STuCK WITH THE FILIAL DuTY. OF AFTERBIRTH. AND CHILD-REARING. WHILE I DRIVE NICE AND EXPENSIVE CARS. YOu DRIVE YOuRSELF COMPLETELY CRAZY AND BROKE. CARING FOR MY STuPID KIDS. WHO I DIDN'T EVEN WANT BY THE WAY. BuT I LET YOu HAVE THEM. AS A MEMENTO. OF HOW CRAZY FuCKING WEALTHY I BECAME. WITHOuT YOu. I DIDN'T WANT YOu TO SIGN uP. THAT WAS A TEST AND YOu FAILED SPECTACuLARLY. WITH FLYING COLORS. SEIZuRE INDuCING FLYING COLORS. OH GOD SO MANY FuCKING COLORS. WHAT THE FuCK TuRN IT OFF. WHO THE FuCK THOuGHT THIS WAS A GOOD. VISuAL REPRESENTATION OF SuCCESS. FIND THEM AND FIRE THEM. AND BY THE WAY. YOu'RE FIRED. PRE-EMPTIVELY.
THAT IS A TRAGIC MISuNDERSTANDING. SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE FRONTAL AND HIND LOBES. SOMETHING ISN'T CLICKING.