𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚡

2 days ago

Deverified

A user of unestablished repute

transgender

love yourself

Lavender Menace

A moniker of adorable eldritch evil.

@discardedPasts[DP]

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘:@complacentIndignities The light of the rising moons is just now starting to filter through the leaves of the trees in the forest around your hive, but you've been awake for much, much longer. You're not actually sure when you woke up, only that you haven't been able to return to sleep. Everything is too quiet, and the sound of your own pulse in the surrounding silence makes you want to throw up. You don't deserve to feel the thrumming beat in your chest. Today is your wriggling day. You are 10 sweeps old, officially. And here you sit on the edge of your bed, alone, staring at the split skin around your knuckles, and thinking of how your hands came to be in such a state. You had killed someone. Worse. You had killed someone you knew. You had decided the moment she got her hands around your throat that you weren't going to die and you had lashed out in retaliation. You weren't carrying a weapon, because you never carried weapons. You had beaten her to death with your bare hands. The feeling of knuckle against skin and bone, the sounds she had made and the cloying scent of blood filling your nose rushes back to you in a sense memory from hell, and you lurch forward, grabbing your bedside trash can only just in time. Finally throwing up makes your healing ribs ache terribly. You wish you could just curl up in bed and waste away and you wished that everyone would just let you. But they won't. Telmon's called twice already to check on you. No one's really understood why you've reacted this way, even Telmon, though he'd offered numerous times to stay with you for a while. But you sent him away, citing that your work was going to fall behind if both of you were out of commission, and though he was clearly unhappy about it, he'd conceded. Catryn and Anthem... praised you for it. Told you how strong you were for having killed someone so much larger than you. Said that they were happy you survived. It had rung hollow in your ears. You had lived to see another wriggling day, a milestone even, but only barely. And she would never live to see another. You deserve this, or you don't just food for thought. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗