...Realizing I might be one of the most terminally online people on the alien social media website when most of the posts I see on my own feed are replies I've made and I'm constantly refreshing to see no new posts. Maybe I should go to bed early.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i zee y0u have been enj0ying tthe zite tth0ugh. tthat iz g00d tt0 zee. [END MESSAGE]
I am learning a lot about alien culture! I think. A lot of what I'm learning is admittedly just putting together stuff from context clues, but ultimately you guys really don't seem that different from us humans, and most of you are pretty chill :)
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i am happy tt0 anzwer any quezti0nz y0u may have. [END MESSAGE]
Ah! Sorry if it's a bit of a personal one, but I noticed you called your mother a python, and several other trolls have talked about something called a 'lusus'? What is the deal with that?
[BEGIN MESSAGE] n0t a pr0b1em. a 1uzuz iz a creature tthat ch00zez y0u az a grub. it raizez y0u and pr0tectz y0u. y0u in tturn keep it fed and happy. tthey are wi1d tthingz tt0 varying degreez. if y0u are 1ucky y0u may be ab1e tt0 z0rt 0f c0mmunicate bey0nd it hizzing 0r zcreaming at y0u. [END MESSAGE]
... Adults don't raise you? Jeez, that seems like it could be harsh. ...Then again with the actual genuine cannibals and murderers on here I guess that shouldn't surprise me.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] a1ternian cu1ture iz quite vi01ent. m0zt adu1tz are 0ff-p1anet. bef0ran cu1ture iz quite different. h0wever i d0 n0t have en0ugh data 0n it yet. [END MESSAGE]
Beforan? Off-planet? Do you guys have like, several offworld colonies with entirely different cultures, then?
[BEGIN MESSAGE] yez. ap010giez. i wi11 adjuzt tthe 1eve1 0f azzumed kn0w1edge. tthe main ttr011z y0u wi11 zee 0n tthiz zite c0me fr0m ttw0 different univerzez. i admitted1y d0 n0t kn0w much m0re tthan tthat. tthe cu1turez are named f0r ttheir 0riginating p1anetz. a1ternia and bef0ruz. a1ternainz 0r bef0ranz. i d0 n0t kn0w what happenz f0r bef0ran ttr011z. f0r a1ternianz. y0u wi11 ttypica11y hatch 0n a1ternia 0r 0ne 0f tthe main c010ny p1anetz. y0u wi11 1ike1y 1eave tthat p1anet when y0u make it tt0 adu1th00d. whether y0u zpend tthe rezt 0f y0ur 1ife zpaceb0und 0r w0rking 0n an0ther c010ny iz up tt0 cazte and zki11z. [END MESSAGE]