Introductions from the Plaintiff! filigree hallowen, esquire, though friends, clients with flexible billing arrangements, & anyone attempting to flatter me may call me trycks treats. i am an earth c legi-- sorry. lawyer. operating on behalf of fusili media conglomerate. i handle civil litigation, trademark, worker's rights, worker's wrongs, employment, copyright infringement, & most water cooler conversations. outside the office, i am a dedicated troll magic: the gathering judge & legal arbiter of my employer's aged lusus. i operate year/sweep round in a professional demeanor, especially after being barred from any local gambling joint. speaking of the bar. i am making an important motion. Motion to Enter Exhibit into Evidence! i've defeated every lawyer in a 300 mile radius in either the court room or on the battlefield. i am requesting we lower the standards of law practice so i may have more opponents. Point of Order! i am not the same as the other trycks treats on this platform. i have a better chess.com elo than sev and star. Point of Order! i am built different.
MOTION TO STRIKE OFFENDING TESTIMONY FROM THE RECORD! okay, wait, no, got off on the wrong strutpod, hang on
READING ONTO THE RECORD! the magic judge thing is actually really cool.
Lik£, LMAO?? Lik£, WOW? Lik£, barr£d from lik£, any lik£, local gambling joint is lik£, totally lik£, crazy lik£, LOL.
Motion to Enter Exhibit into Evidence! i am good at it. do i need another reason?
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! that's. yeah that's fair actually POINT OF ORDER! where's the exhibit? i don't see an attached image or anything
Approach the Bench! you will find that everything i do is. i do not tend to waste any fraction of a second doing anything i do not want to do.
Point of Order! hearsay is an acceptable exhibit in earth courts.
OBJECTION! THAT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE TRUE? SIDEBAR OUTSIDE EARSHOT OF THE JURY! ...no, wait, humans are insane. (why the fuck are you practicing earth law what) DIRECT EXAMINATION! is hearsay still defined as an out of court statement being offered for the truth of the matter asserted? or is it some other shit
Response on those Grounds! earth law is the predominant form of law on earth-c with most legislacerators not even being allowed to assail the opposing counsel. hearsay is that but also whatever i do not like being presented to me.
READING ONTO THE RECORD! that sucks. that's stupid. that's. Why. what. MEETING OF THE MINDS! i agree with you about hearsay though