TRYCKS TREATS
@glitteringAcuity
INTRODUCTIONS FROM THE DEFENSE/PROSECUTION/PLAINTIFF! * she/it/he/sev/star * legislacerator * gamblignant * absolute freak for troll magic: the gathering sincerely, Trycks Treats / Filigree Hallowen
MOTION TO ENTER EXHIBIT INTO EVIDENCE! here's my business card. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e5d3c7741e57.png / https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/72b443d535b0.png
SIDEBAR OUTSIDE EARSHOT OF THE JURY! sometimes it's your own co-counsel that doesn't know how to make an objection to save their life. or to enter an exhibit into evidence. or PRACTICE LAW
POINT OF ORDER! i'm not firing my intern because he's going to die very soon if he keeps this shit up
THE KINDS OF LOWLY FUCKS THAT I SEE IN THE COURTHOUSES ON DIVIDEND WOULD MAKE THE MOTHERGRUB WEEP. I'M DRAFTING UP REFORMS AS WE SPEAK SO IT'S GOOD TO SEE THAT THERE'S AT LEAST SOMEONE LEFT ON CHITTR WHO SEEMS TO ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT DUE PROCESS AND THE SANCTITY OF THE COURTHOUSE. I KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS SHIT THAN I EVER THOUGHT FUCKING POSSIBLE THANKS TO THE MIND EMPRESS.
RE: DUE PROCESS & THE SANCTITY OF THE COURTHOUSE! ehhh
ZZZOLZZZZZZ xoundzz like they zzhould die if they cant evvven do anything on the job dezzcrribtion </3
CROSS(?) EXAMINATION TESTIMONY! i care a lot about the proceedings of a trial & everything being done properly according to procedure. but i am in it for the love of the game & also for the money
WELL OF COURSE. WE'RE TROLLS, NOT PHILANTHROPISTS. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOOD AT YOUR JOB- I DIDN'T MEAN THAT I'M EXPECTING CHARITY FROM LEGISLACERATORS OR SOME KIND OF CARE FOR THE TRIAL ITSELF BEYOND WHAT IT SERVES YOU. DO YOUR JOB, DO IT WELL. THAT'S ALL THAT CONCERNS ME. I'LL ONLY TAKE ISSUE WHEN A LACK OF COMPETENCE IS DISPLAYED WHICH, FROM A CURSORY GLANCE AT YOUR PROFILE, IS CLEARLY NOT THE CASE.
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! hey, if you need someone to do my job & do it well, i know a guy who can make it happen ᴹ:)
TCH. AS SOON AS THIS TRANSPORTALIZER TECHNOLOGY IS WORKED OUT, FEEL FREE TO SUBMIT YOUR APPLICATION DIRECTLY TO MY OFFICE. IF NOTHING ELSE I'D RESPECT THE FUCKING GUMPTION.
Just saw someone yell not guilty throughout the entire trial. I did not actually hear them say it but I am pretty good at reading lips. They may just have been eating. Rude either way so I told the bailiff to cull them. Execution style. Slay.
⚇ GOOD MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!!! ⚇ REMEMBER TO NEVER GET BETTER! ⚇ STAY MAD AT STUPID SHIT! ⚇ RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS!!! ⚇ DIE FOR FOREVER!!!!!!!! ⚇
♦ a HOO HOO! gOOd evening, actually!! always get better! be Happy and stupid and cOntrary! Heal yOur relatiOnsHips! live til tHe stars die!! :O) a HOO HOO HOO!! ♣
S[][]ould t[][]ere be concern?
⚇ Sibling I respect the fuck outta you ⚇ Because of our shared clownery ⚇ But thsi is the lamest ⚇ MOST AGGRAVATING ⚇ shit you could've said to me ⚇ And if you were in front of me I'd pop your fuckin' nose in. ⚇
⚇ Rock in my shoe :8( ⚇
... I send my condolences for suc[][] an inconvenience.
⚇ Thank you :8) ⚇
♦ a HOO HOO! nOt my nOse! :O( i Have cOmmitted nO greater carnival sin tHan being cOntrary On tHe internet, im sure! a lessOn fOr us bOtH in cOmedic timing tHen! a bOO HOO HOO HOO! :O( ♣
Do you ever look over your plans with a glass of wine and go “Hot damn I’m good at this”? #substance
B33 < well mewsually i go fur soju but yeah
These superficial similarities are really starting to get on my nerves, because yes I have.
Why do you lalonds enjoy the same things as I do. Stop that.
Lalondes*
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! my caseload is dull right now. does anyone on chittr have some wacky shit they would either like to sue someone over or are looking for legislaceratorial defense over
POINT OF ORDER! tonight only: discounts for people who aren't losers or geeds (terminology to be defined at applied at my own discretion)
Would you like me to get into legal trouble, Master Treats?
DIRECT EXAMINATION TESTIMONY! ...if you'd be so kind!
xx_liek_a_baws_xx
Chow, we're gonna have to put you down for this one.
xx_whagbt_da_fuq_did_i_even_DO_xx
I'll protect you.
xx_MY_HERO_xx
n0t v3ry 8awz 0f u
xx_GET_HIS_ASS_🔥_xx
[|||] i reeemembeeer theeese ooold meeemes,,,
READING ONTO THE RECORD! if nobody's got me, i know @todaysDreamer's got me
yea
you and your 10 alternate selves do intimidate me you're the first non strider ive seen so many of
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! it's not my fault!!! i don't want there to be so many of me on this platform either but apparently i'm just very prone to making a social media account in all these stupid fucking timelines
my gender identity is sigma male. my pronouns are wwork/hard. i stim by makin money. im hyperfixated on the grind. my special interest is the hustle. my coping strategy is castin spells. i kin success. i dont havve rejection sensitivve dysphoria because rejection is a mindset
ii cant beliieve ii almo2t laughed at thii2.
sig my male wwretch
NOW HERE2 A F1NE YOUNG MAN WHO2 GO1NG 2OMEWHERE 1N L1FE! #GR1ND2ETM1ND2ET #HOLLAHOLLADOLLADOLLA #CLOCK1NG1NATTHEJO6FACTORY #WORK1NGHARDNEVERHARDLYWORK1NG
.if someone dares to touch my matesprit. .i'll make them pay with their blood. #violence
📸 @genialArterial, sent t[*o] me [*o]n tr[*o]llian fr[*o]m the future. i suspect this is fr[*o]m my descendant, if such a thing is real.
8=l < Don't mind me but your quirk is charming
ᴹ:D peep the m!n! mo!ra!l !!!!!!!
:o) Ah...That's much better. Do you feel the air? That biting chill? :o) Can you see the way the leaves are slowly starting to turn...? :o) The best season is upon us, my dear acolytes. AND I AM HERE TO BRING THE MOTHERFUCKING RANCOR! ;o) Do you like scary movies? you heard god damn right. THE KURLOZ NIGHTS OF FRIGHTS IS COMING! spooks? scares? jokes? japes? WE GON' HAVE IT MOTHERFUCKIN' ALL, YOU SCARY BITCH! you want movies? shit, i got movies i got movies comin' out my god damn hair I HOPE TO SEE SOME OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THERE THROUGHOUT THE SPOOKIEST MONTH WE GOT! c'mon, you want in, right? you ain't gon' turn cluckbeast now, are you? BETTER MOTHERFUCKIN' NOT! HAW HAW HAW HAW! see below images for details. plain text information forthcoming in reply chit. #NightsofFrights #Watchparty #GetIn (( Graphics made by @gullibleColumnist sorry the first draft didn't credit u I've been so frazzled.))
RE: THE KURLOZ NIGHTS OF FRIGHTS! i'll try to swing by for a few of these, actually
plaintext info for you bitches who hate images: THE FOLLOWING MOVIES WILL BE SHOWN ON THEIR SPECIFIED DATES, ALWAYS STARTING AT 9PM GMT UNLESS SAID OTHERWISE: 1st of October - Live action Scooby-Doo double feature 4th of October - Dark Crystal & Obsession 6th of October - Addams Family & wait wrong account I'm American Psycho 9th of October - The Birds & 28 Days Later 13th of October - Dracula & Sinners 16th of October - Return to Oz & Scream 20th of October - Repo! & Saw 23rd of October - Witch's Ghost & Jennifer's Body 27th of October - Ghostbusters & 13 Ghosts :o) These films are ranked in my personal tierlist of scary, so if you're someone who prefers the Baby Bluebloody Tier of media, then those ones are for you! Escalating in terms of severity. :o) If you ask for a specific films ranking, I will give it to you, or you can read it on the info sheet.
:oD Ah, a dear friend of just the themeing I'm looking for? you honor me in ways your mortal mind could not motherfucking comprehend.
I shall 8e there as often as I'm a8le to, dear. ::::)
:o) Your presence will be a balm on the senses, Miss Serket.
YAAAAAAAAAAA!!! ill be at as many of these as i can!!! cant wait (|:D
HELL YES, BROTHER. HELL. FUCKING. YES.
FOLLOWING IN YOUR GLORIOUS FOOTSTEPS, BLOOD BROTHER MINE.
pun fact of the day (|;P books on anti-gravity turn out to be really popular on earth!! apparently theyre impossible to put down hehehe
i'mmmm lying every timmmme btwwww
omg twins
this is awwwwesommmme. i like to tell people one thing wwwwhen i mmmmean another, i'mmmm sure you understand the conflicted thrill
oh no babes totally like its not even a conflicted thrill for me sometimes i just say shit with my whole chest deadpan and feel absolutely nothing until the other person reacts all candidly and im like dude i didnt say unironic on some simon says type shit
#ivwishicouldrechittthis
COMPLAINING ONTO THE RECORD! i noticed many legal inaccuracies in the human film Coyote vs. Acme
Trycks have you considered its a silly cartoon movie
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! HOPE HAVE YOU CONSIDERED IT'S A SILLY CARTOON MOVIE THAT HAPPENS TO INTERSECT A LOT WITH SOMETHING I'M VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT & i'm giving them LOTS of leeway already on the implausible & inconsistent worldbuilding about cartoon law!!!
That's fair I'm just teasing you, I'm just thinking that you've put a lot more thought into it than the writers did. Which is a fun thing don't stop! Just saying.
POINT OF ORDER! imagine they made a "silly cartoon movie" about YOUR day job, transporting through dimensions & dying for other people's sins or whatever & then it was full of GRATING inaccuracies!!!
I'd be concerned. But really they already make medical dramas that don't follow reality and that's what my real job is.
I don't talk about my day job much because of patient confidentiality but I do indeed run a clinic that I've started to open up to be more. Multidimensional
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! ...well & do you never see those medical dramas & note the inaccuracies
They annoy me to the point of not watching them. So. Yeah
CLOSING STATEMENT! the plaintiff rests ᴹ:)
POINT OF ORDER! (NOT prosecution)
Your name is SWEETY TREATS, and everyone loves you. You work the bounty hunting side of legislaceration - with none other than your darling moirail by your side - hunting people down with ruthless efficiency. Your specialty in that regard lies in subsequently torturing the successfully captured indviduals for information, to better track down the rest of their network. While you may have a slightly grizzly night job, you are also extremely friendly! You greet all trolls with an exaggerated smile, always have something nice to say, and never let on how much you inherently disrespect all other living people... Because you're a real sweetie. People tend to see you as a little bit of a ditz! A friendly, slightly airheaded harmless little guy who's just so goddamn adorable. While this is, of course, an intentionally curated impression - you've run the numbers, it's only practical - it chafes at you quite a bit. You like candy, more candy, and pastries. You also like cool shark facts, mortuary sciences, and vaping, and you harbor a secret soft spot for Fiduspawn TCG. You have a complicated relationship with the concept of femininity. Your strife specibus (daggerkind) is a multi-tooled pocket knife that you like to fidget with when your hands are idle. GA: ᴹ:P you beg!n every message w!th !!! a relevant emot!con !!! that !ncludes your horns & !nd!cates the tone of your speech !!! GA: ᴹ:D these are mostly sm!les because you are a very enthus!ast!c person haha . GA: ᴹ:) & , you also l!ke to give your punctuat!on room to breathe !!! wh!ch !s only underst&able !!! cons!der!ng how hard !t would be !!! to actually use shoutpoles for the!r !ntended purpose otherwise !!!!!!! You also share a lot of things in common with your long-dead ancestor, FILIGREE HALLOWEN, ESQ., also known as TRYCKS TREATS.
READING ONTO THE RECORD! i don't think anyone else is appreciating enough that next perigee is literally October.
well yeah you could probably say that about most people
⚇ It's so fuckin' true. ⚇ If there's one thing we can agree on its that October? ⚇ Best perigee overall. ⚇
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! don't make me have to argue against october...
⚇ Oh don't be a bitch ⚇ We can agree on SOME things! ⚇
OBJECTION! UGH. GROSS. NEVER
⚇ DAMN, FINE! ⚇ *I'LL* take October from now on. ⚇ Your favorite wipe can be like... Intercalamaris or something. ⚇
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! NO WAY IN HELL you have to take pierrot. i hatched in october i have DIBS
⚇ NOPE! ⚇ You didn't wanna share, *you* relinquished it! ⚇ October is mine! ⚇
OBJECTION! I DIDN'T RELINQUISH SHIT YOU INTOLERABLE FUCKING MORON
⚇ Damn, it's honestly pretty nice! ⚇ Keeping this WHOLE WIPE to myself! ⚇ October's so fucking cool! ⚇ All 45 of those nights! All mine! ⚇
⚇ Hot shit, Pitch Letters 8:21 ⚇ "The stoked embers of passion burn like roaring hellfire when my eyes catch yours. My pusher, soaked in inkiest, most dread black when I lay with you. My hands on your thighs. your hands on my horns, rock thy filth into me until we both lay loathesome and sated. Disgust, disgust, disgust you bring me such thorough motherfucking disgust that I cannot breathe for the rot festering inside of me. Choke me on it. I want more." ⚇
maybe the clown scr1pture 1s onto someth1ng
https://www.thevintagenews.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/65/2017/04/OriginalNipper-640x430.jpg?width=480
MOTION TO ENTER EXHIBIT INTO EVIDENCE! ...while i'm quadposting anyways, have some more poetry. in case anyone forgot that i'm really good at poetry
⚇ Like he needed to breathe. ⚇
Tatt00 this 0n my heart
⚇ This shit wasn't for you, sister. ⚇ Motherfucker's runnin' 'round thinkin' that this wasn't targeted. ⚇ Like I am not possessed of these fine ass syllables. ⚇
I t0tally kn0w that. I d0nt really kn0w the guy at all. But i happened t0 read the p0em and it sp0ke t0 me deeply. I wasnt trying t0 "claim" it 0r anything.
⚇ Good. ⚇ See to it that it stays that way, gutterblood. ⚇
Mmmmkay
S0rry if i made things awkward. I genuinely just wanted t0 sh0w admirati0n f0r y0ur p0em.
POINT OF ORDER! i appreciated your admiration for my poem! suidae's just very jealous