TRYCKS TREATS
@glitteringAcuity
OPENING STATEMENT! to whom it may concern: * she/it/he/sev/star * legislacerator * gamblignant * absolute freak for troll magic: the gathering sincerely, Trycks Treats / Filigree Hallowen
ooc this was the prototype for trycks when i was coming up with his design LMAO https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/797973229897252918/1489908312920297502/Screenshot_20260404-014315.Files_by_Google.png?ex=69d220be&is=69d0cf3e&hm=4c28766225a2c7181d6abd5514e39674c09428e17abe42128623347b2699ea61& which then became https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/797973229897252918/1489907496809136229/Screenshot_20260404-013958.Files_by_Google.png?ex=69d21ffc&is=69d0ce7c&hm=0d523dc9ba25e25b09d1e883b1ba66289b792b5c2b399a7f0b1ee3224701ebeb& which then became. well. this. (finalized design and commissioned a friend to illustrate it) and anyways looking back on it feels strangely like looking at baby pictures
actual baby trycks: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/889372862597697576/1489909690262487152/Screenshot_20260404-014841.ibisPaint_X.png?ex=69d22207&is=69d0d087&hm=a6674f8348c37c8432bfd9a40155a40ed033f897cc2da054982af86cd2fa3766&
ooc just making sure everyone knows that the shouting trycks does at the beginning of every sentence is intended to evoke ace attorney interjections but ALSO is kinda halfway email themed as well even though there's less email subject like shorthand to work with compared to legal jargon. but if anyone's curious the logic i use to determine what heading i use for a given statement please ask im having fun
READING ONTO THE RECORD! and i just wanted to say your highblood your new haircut is absolutely lovely. unlike opposing counsel i notice these things
POINT OF ORDER! ive always found it very amusing when we have limiting instructions for the jury. as ive never been a juror i have no idea what the exhibits look like when they get to them but there's something deeply amusing about picturing a printed-out screenshot of a trollian conversation and about half the messages have "DON'T USE THIS ST@TEMENT FOR THE TRUTH OF THE M@TTER @SSERTED" or something along those lines. have i ever mentioned how much i love hearsay exceptions
RE: HEARSAY EXCEPTIONS! obviously if it's an exhibit that got in via a hearsay exception it can be used for the truth of the matter asserted. but you know what i mean
READING ONTO THE RECORD! https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/797973229897252918/1488704580186275921/Screenshot_20260331-175954.Instagram.png?ex=69cdbfae&is=69cc6e2e&hm=4509caafc71571fc1f4d0160a8245965244924c38493689cff7672a8f907e4c3&
POINT OF ORDER! you could not *pay* me to go to #eridanweek i am being so serious
It will be a w.o°nderful netw.o°rking .o°pp.o°rtunity I am g.o°ing t.o° be there t.o° sell s.o°da
↘️why.↘️ ↗️I AM SEEING SOME NETWORKING OPPORTUNITIES AND ALSO SOME POTENTIAL FOR INVESTMENTS.↗️ ↘️this seems literally up your alley as someone who "strictly accepts payment in caegars".↘️
↗️USING THE SAME VERBIAGE AS YOU ON ACCIDENT IS PURELY NAUSEATING.↗️ ↘️please wait for me to reply to posts before also commenting under them, so we avoid using the same language.↘️
CONFER WITH CO-COUNSEL! i hope you have fun and make a lot of profit! make sure you get a bulk printing of your business cards ahead of time
Y.o°u kn.o°w I generally h.o°ld a healthy and respectful level .o°f fear and deference t.o°wards highbl°o.o°ds, but
DIRECT(?) EXAMINATION TESTIMONY! yes it is saying quite a lot there are very few things i could not be paid to get involved with. however my network is well-established by this point and i can afford to prioritize my dignity in this regard. a privilege i'm sure you'll understand someday
ooc my birthday is on 4/12 so there have been multiple times where a friend has forgotten my birthday but also commented on it being "homestuck eve" so in two weeks from now im gonna be really annoying about it being trycks' birthday
READING ONTO THE RECORD! i feel like i should do something to acknowledge it when i reach 50 followers
a celebratory watercooler break?
READING ONTO THE RECORD! if you want to date me you must defeat my evil ex who said that hanging out with me was uncomfortable because it felt too much like lying to pretend to enjoy my company
>([w#at kinda stats an build ur ex rockin is my q]
>([na# i mean are we talkin pure dps do t#ey got buffs debuffs swiftcast crit multiplier w#ats t#e deal]
DIRECT EXAMINATION TESTIMONY! ehhhhh we were flushed then pale so i have no firsthand experience but probably crit multipliers / buffs and kind of a glass cannon build generally
>([i aint really lookin to fill a quad but #ig# key i diff t#is guy ill #andle em]
POINT OF ORDER! i hired this oliveblood to stare at you
DIRECT EXAMINATION EXPERT TESTIMONY! the other employees/interns/contractors, the clients, DEFINITELY opposing attorneys, and when everyone in the office is appropriately surveiled also passersby from out the window if you don't mind this is a new and innovative marketing technique i just came up with
♯ok are they ♯staring at me or merely ♯looking at me the same way you ♯glance at a ♯stranger on the street can they ♯see who i really am or can they only ♯see what everyone else ♯perceives can they ♯look at me & ♯feel the ♯weight of something & can they ♯determine is it ♯mine or is it ♯theirown
OBJECTION! LEAVE MY INDEPENDENT CONTRACTORS ALONE???? SEE YOU IN COURT
[i]~ [can]~ [do]~ [that!]~ [i]~ [have]~ [very]~ [large]~ [eyez]~ [that]~ [zee]~ [a]~ [lot]~ [of]~ [thingz]~ [:}]
READING ONTO THE RECORD! i need to play more troll Slay the Spire II
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ #rechitt. ]
READING ONTO THE RECORD! frivolous cases win big bucks if you know what you're doing
INTRODUCTIONS FROM THE PLAINTIFF! good evening, your highblood. my name is Filigree Hallowen and i am here today on behalf of the plaintiff in today's case, my client @kasaneTeto. (who then either stands and says "good evening, your highblood" as well or gets elbowed really aggressively). (you can sit back down now). we have a few housekeeping matters to attend to once the defense has made their own introductions
POINT OF ORDER! actually your highblood im down to be held in contempt of court if opposing(?) counsel would like to take over both sides of this case. so far what's left on the agenda is direct and cross examination of the plaintiff, recess, then direct and cross examination of the defendant, then closing statement from the plaintiff, then closing statement from the defense, then rebuttal from plaintiff
CONFER WITH CO-COUNSEL! well then you owe the plaintiff some amount of money decided on by the judge, and also whether you win or lose you have to pay my attorney fees (very reasonable hourly rates)
over a social media beef???? siiiigh ok well you all keep arguing or whatever
POINT OF ORDER! social media beef is real . actually more to the point the trial cant continue until the plaintiff party representative comes back lol its 5:30am for her
POINT OF ORDER! the plaintiff would like to call @kasaneTeto to the stand. DIRECT EXAMINATION! please introduce yourself to the court
READING ONTO THE RECORD! https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_t9v7z1UGWD1afh2a1.mp4
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! @gardenGamma my client and i are pursuing charges related to discrimination. if you would like to settle this outside of court now is your chance to bribe us
(PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! Ms. Harley if you would like to file a counter-suit the alternian courtblock system has no concept of conflict of interest - i know a guy who can make it happen)
ok i guess?? but i think these charges are ridiculous, i did not deny her any legal rights
POINT OF ORDER! in the interest of honesty i will clarify that the plaintiff party complaints on paper are more likely to be libel and/or harassment, discrimination is just the catch-all term i use for people who don't know legalese because it gets the point across impersonally
POINT OF ORDER! now listening: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/03itpzJq3u6lz03SL9Jm59?si=72E5JqlMR3OyzUw9tVFZIw&pi=hS_zEegdRVepI
FWD: NOW PLAYING! actually to be more specific, just the part in Blood in the Water from Troll Legally Blonde where the professor goes "so what's my point i run a BILLION dollar law firm"
D --> You added both of the songs I recommended
POINT OF ORDER! for the non-legislacerators in the chat, "direct" exam is niceys (wrt both questions and testimony) and "cross" exam is being rude (questions) or defensive (testimony). this has been legal lessons with trycks next week on legal lessons with trycks is "don't talk to troll cops" okay bye
u can't tell me what to do what are u some kind of troll cop #alltrollcopsarebassturds
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! tonight i am putting together a lawsuit against His Honorable Tyranny, my district's head judge. ideally this case will be overseen by like a different judge but i can make it happen regardless. the charge is for workplace mistreatment because courtblock recess is always too short (to play #tmtg. so uh i guess if any other legislacerators, any bailiffs, any justiceradicators, sterrornographers, etc other court employees would like to contribute testimony or be called as witnesses please reply to this post or send me a DM #law
don't know shit from fuck about law but i got notes on big clown
POINT OF ORDER! honestly even if i do it will be incredibly cathartic to at least attempt to use my axe on the judge
D:on't let them :Counterspell your lawsuit!
well one time he came to uhhhhh my old sect and well shit got messy as usual yknow but get this i think i saw the mf backwash in the faygo keg? fucked. that's gotta be something
clowns do Not want to hear this. barkbeastma runs way fuckin deₑᵉp its fucked the whole message and energy of the clurch is backwards anymore the only thing that's rly consistent is the murdering bitches goₒᵒd luck btw ur definitely getting eaten for this i know a possession pit if u neₑᵉd to lay low after dropping the law bomb or whatevrr
READING ONTO THE RECORD! sometimes people think i am pitch flirting with them because i argue about every little thing they say about the most meaningless semantics for literally no reason even if i know im wrong just for the sake of arguing. no bestie i am just a legislacerator if i was pitch with you i would be biting already
CROSS EXAMINATION! why is court recess never enough time to play #tmtg
Its Like They Dont Even Care About Anyone Enjoying Themselves At Recess
Pretty sure tg:Cs are banneD: at re:Cess. :C
POINT OF ORDER! nothing is banned at recess if the bailiff can't see you