TRYCKS TREATS
@glitteringAcuity
INTRODUCTIONS FROM THE DEFENSE/PROSECUTION/PLAINTIFF! * she/it/he/sev/star * legislacerator * gamblignant * absolute freak for troll magic: the gathering sincerely, Trycks Treats / Filigree Hallowen
SIDEBAR OUTSIDE EARSHOT OF THE JURY! sometimes it's your own co-counsel that doesn't know how to make an objection to save their life. or to enter an exhibit into evidence. or PRACTICE LAW
POINT OF ORDER! i'm not firing my intern because he's going to die very soon if he keeps this shit up
THE KINDS OF LOWLY FUCKS THAT I SEE IN THE COURTHOUSES ON DIVIDEND WOULD MAKE THE MOTHERGRUB WEEP. I'M DRAFTING UP REFORMS AS WE SPEAK SO IT'S GOOD TO SEE THAT THERE'S AT LEAST SOMEONE LEFT ON CHITTR WHO SEEMS TO ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT DUE PROCESS AND THE SANCTITY OF THE COURTHOUSE. I KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS SHIT THAN I EVER THOUGHT FUCKING POSSIBLE THANKS TO THE MIND EMPRESS.
RE: DUE PROCESS & THE SANCTITY OF THE COURTHOUSE! ehhh
CROSS(?) EXAMINATION TESTIMONY! i care a lot about the proceedings of a trial & everything being done properly according to procedure. but i am in it for the love of the game & also for the money
WELL OF COURSE. WE'RE TROLLS, NOT PHILANTHROPISTS. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOOD AT YOUR JOB- I DIDN'T MEAN THAT I'M EXPECTING CHARITY FROM LEGISLACERATORS OR SOME KIND OF CARE FOR THE TRIAL ITSELF BEYOND WHAT IT SERVES YOU. DO YOUR JOB, DO IT WELL. THAT'S ALL THAT CONCERNS ME. I'LL ONLY TAKE ISSUE WHEN A LACK OF COMPETENCE IS DISPLAYED WHICH, FROM A CURSORY GLANCE AT YOUR PROFILE, IS CLEARLY NOT THE CASE.
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! hey, if you need someone to do my job & do it well, i know a guy who can make it happen ᴹ:)
:o) Turns out that I am #AlreadyHere :o) #NightsofFrights commences in but a mere few minutes with The Dark Crystal, followed by Obsession! :o) #GetIn #WatchParty https://hyperbeam.com/v/Clownhound
CONFER WITH CO-COUNSEL! can't wait ᴹ:)
Comment, and I will tell you which SAW Trap I think you would survive. If I like you, I may even explain *why* you survive it. If I don't like you that much, I might just write why you'd die. But, few of you are in that disposition.
DIRECT EXAMINATION! hello, i'm throwing my hat in the ring as well if you *are* still doing these DISCLAIMER! & still saying hello if you aren't ó’/
⚇ Annnnd it's my wriggling day! ⚇ Blow a horn or some shit, we gotta get this bitch jumpin' ⚇ HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOINK ⚇
oh. i didnt actually say it. HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY, DUDE!
⚇ Thank you, little motherfucker :8) ⚇
...at 250+ lbs it's not often im called little but i dig it, man! get your chow on, i hope today gets all ya could ever want outta it!
⚇ HA HA HA HA HA HOINK. ⚇
⚇ Cute...? ⚇ It has been a MINUTE since anyone got the gumption to call my scary ass ⚇ CUTE. ⚇
OBJECTION! what am i, chopped liver??
@glitteringAcuity hi,hello, hey(greetings!)! Did I do something wrong? ✎﹏﹏﹏﹏ 𓆩Tale told𓆪
DIRECT(?) EXAMINATION TESTIMONY! a quad react is to show particularly intense emotion. your story was evocative & also about my matesprit's deceased former matesprit, which i found unnerving yet deeply compelling
-- REGINALD (THE BUTLER) has committed JAYWALKING --
R3PUGN4NT 4ND V1L3 4ND 1 W1LL H4V3 YOU 3X3CUT3D ON TH3 G4LLOWS BY MY OWN H4ND
OBJECTION! NO YOU WON'T because i'll prove your innocence* beyond a reasonable doubt**
D --> I can't believe this
READING ONTO THE RECORD! the defense has already found a witness who will deliver testimony based on Mr. Reginald's good character & being INCAPABLE of BELIEVING he would commit such an act
They're calling me some sort of arcane beast these days.
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! if you're experiencing harassment or discrimination based on your status as an arcane beast, you may be entitled to compensation
I am not discriminating against him, I am simply making it known that I know.
Hey wait a minute
RE: MAKING IT KNOWN THAT [YOU] KNOW! blackmail is also an offense i would very badly like to sue someone over what else can you let casper know that you know about him & what stakes can be involved in that conversation
READING ONTO THE RECORD! hi casper!
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! ᴹ:D
May I allso have your services
DIRECT EXAMINATION TESTIMONY! i like your poetry, so yes
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! my caseload is dull right now. does anyone on chittr have some wacky shit they would either like to sue someone over or are looking for legislaceratorial defense over
POINT OF ORDER! tonight only: discounts for people who aren't losers or geeds (terminology to be defined at applied at my own discretion)
Would you like me to get into legal trouble, Master Treats?
DIRECT EXAMINATION TESTIMONY! ...if you'd be so kind!
Eep... a legal troll followed me.............Zzz
READING ONTO THE RECORD! Probably nothing to worry about
Getting into the f★iry ch★r★cter by putting Petro★ in ★ situ★tion.
PRE-TRIAL MEDIATION! if my client has not agreed to be in this situation you may be held liable for any damages incurred
I'll give him 20 c★eg★rs.
POINT OF ORDER! you could give *me* 20 caegars
READING ONTO THE RECORD! if nobody's got me, i know @todaysDreamer's got me
yea
you and your 10 alternate selves do intimidate me you're the first non strider ive seen so many of
RESPONSE ON THOSE GROUNDS! it's not my fault!!! i don't want there to be so many of me on this platform either but apparently i'm just very prone to making a social media account in all these stupid fucking timelines