Sometimes I think about the way being liked works. Not romantic like. That's a whole other bag of worms and I don't have a horse in that particular stable right now, either. Not sure I should have one in it. At least not anytime soon. But just in general. People like you more when you're agreeable and a little bit stupid. When you're palatable. Strong personalities are polarizing because the people with them are usually strong in their convictions, or at least confident in what the concept of "them" looks like. Their Self. And this, obviously, isn't aided when you tend to be abrasive whether you mean to or not. The question becomes if it is better to be agreeable or better to be yourself, no matter who doesn't like it, and it seems like a cut-and-dry answer at first until you're standing in the middle of it where so many people you like or care about are put-off by You. Because You are something they don't want to see. Maybe it's because seeing You reminds them of something they don't like thinking about. Maybe it's because You make them remember that you're just as fucked up as they are. Maybe it's just that You as a concept are something they find distasteful. Or maybe I'm just losing my shit because I need to sleep and have spent several days melting my brain cramming video editing. Not the point. Some people are able to go through life without ever being bothered by it. A lot of people will say they don't care but they do, and they may hate that they do. And plenty of others let the whims of those outside them rule what they appear to be, regardless of what They are. Some people are chameleons. Transforming with no true concrete awareness of their Self, or maybe they do know at least some of what that Self looks like, but they know what happens when they're honest. Maybe I've just been squinting at my screen too long.
POINT OF ORDER! skill issue i am incredibly aggressively argumentative and openly flagrantly intelligent and also very generally well-liked