chittr
← @measureTwice

I have successfu//y /ocated someone who is interested in my defective figure, and wi//ing to trade me for a——at /east according to the pictures I was sent——correct/y-co/ored version. I knew it wou/d not be difficu/t to find someone who actua//y /IKES figures with defects in co/ors, printing, shape, etc., but I was not expecting such a fair trade for it. The on/y issue is that we are at a sta/emate about how we are going to trade. He wou/d prefer to use the post system, as it wou/d a//ow him to remain within his own hive and prevent us from ever needing to meet face-to-face, but I am not about to send off such an expensive acquisition without the guarantee that he is not /ying about sending his own. He refuses to send his first, and it is, how you say, Pissing Me Off. Feh. I even offered to make the trip to his hive myse/f, if you wou/d be/ieve it. Risking my own skin! Taking time out of my schedu/e to make the trade. But no. He is fu// hikikomori. He doesn't even want me in his neighborhood. Impossib/e. HE'S IMPOSSIB/E!!!! At this point, I shou/d just go to the shop who imported the figure for me in the first p/ace and just ask for a rep/acement, or at /EAST a refund. This is Some Bu//shit.

Kult: +20
Kull: +20
Total: 40
Ratio: 1.00
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@peregrineMendicant[PM]

As a postal worker in charge of... complicated matters. Perhaps I could offer my services to resolve this matter? Admittedly I have little experience with no-contact deliveries, but it should be a matter of small difficulty to confirm the contents of both packages before handing them off to their respective recipients. Sometimes, all that is needed is a little personal touch in these things.

Hm. And you are taking a persona/ interest in this, why? I do not mean to be suspicious of your intentions, I have just never seen a posta/ worker step out of the everyday grind to ensure one specific de/ivery happens. I am a/so suspicious about your method of 'confirming' the contents, due to it c/ear/y stated in Imperia/ Dictate, Number the Eighteenth, Section Seventeen point Two: Opening, taking, or destroying mai/ that is addressed to someone e/se is an imperia/ crime punishab/e by fines and potentia//y death, even if the interference was a mistake, UN/ESS the materia/ is suspected to be anything on the /ist of contraband from Imperia/ Dictates from Number the Fifty-First through the Sixty-Sixth. Posta/ worker or not, the /aw is the /aw. ... Granted, you do not /ook to be any standard A/ternian posta/ worker. You may not run through the Imperia/ Posta/ Service, and if that is the case, I am unsure if the /aw wou/d app/y to you. Hm. No, perhaps it wou/d be fine. I wi// make the suggestion to my VERY IMPOSSIB/E trade partner on our forum messages.

Kult: +15
Total: 15
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@peregrineMendicant[PM]

That I am not, and I do happen to have some means of comparing the two parcels without tampering with the contents of either. Although I would prefer not to go into detail about those methods for the sake of their continued use in thwarting would-be mail bombers and other postal ne'er do wells. As I have said, I am something of a specialist when it comes to unorthodox postal situations. I have been asked to take on far more complex tasks in the past, such as personally delivering packages to the leaders of criminal organizations.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Sou desu ka. Then perhaps I can entrust this important task to you, yūbin'ya-san.