[The screen flickers. Cheerful music crackles beneath layers of static.] HUNGRY? TREAT YOUR FAMILY TO A REAL HUMAN MEAL! At Prime Harvest Grill™, we believe nothing brings people together quite like people. Our farms raise only the finest Grade-A free-range humans, ethically bred in spacious apartment complexes and carefully fattened on entertainment, processed sugars, and false hopes. Every cut is inspected by our trained butchers to ensure maximum tenderness and minimum resistance. Try our NEW Family Feast! Includes: - Crispy Finger Strips™ - Slow-Roasted Shoulder - Freshly Harvested Organ Medley - Unlimited Bone Broth Refills And for a limited time... THE EXECUTIVE BURGER Made from premium corporate stock. Raised indoors. Minimal physical activity. Rich, marbled texture. A customer favorite. "I couldn't believe how tender it was." ★★★★★ "Tasted just like childhood." ★★★★★ "My children asked where humans come from. I told them not to worry about it." ★★★★★ REMEMBER: Humans are not intelligent. Humans do not feel fear. Humans do not dream. Humans do not have families. The Ministry of Agriculture has verified these statements. [The smiling mascot waves. Something in its expression looks wrong.] At Prime Harvest Grill™, every meal is a sacrifice someone else made for your happiness. PRIME HARVEST GRILL™ "You are what you eat." [The slogan repeats several times as the screen distorts.] "You are what you eat." "You are what you eat." "You are what you eat." A thin line of text appears at the bottom of the screen. Report escaped livestock immediately. Do not engage in conversation with livestock. Livestock may imitate speech.
ver7 fitting for a (ow, huh
