like / i just hate / feeling / like at every corner / its just waiting / to happen again / and that more people / will disappear / again / i hate feeling / like i have to constantly live / in the shadow of other people's decisions / and other people's opinions / more than my own actions / i cant ever really guarantee / a secure friend group / because as long as i remain in the fanbase / come hell or high water / the same ever growing group of people / will show up / and i just have to be silent / and uncomfortable / and say nothing / and do nothing / and never be present / or else they'll make a scene about it / and i start all over from scratch / im so fucking tired / of losing people / over petty squabbles / and disagreements / from as far back / as two years ago / i just want to exist / and not be ran out of every possible source of comfort or community / just because i do and some people don't like it
