Chix - Circuit BR8KR System
@nervousFoodie
one of a system / I like to play old fps games / and spend time with my partner
i feel / like i should just delete this account / and maybe the others / and just / move on / it never really feels / like i belong here / anymore / it just / hurts / a lot sorry / to anyone that got / annoyed / by my posts
my matesprit / is flirting so hard with me right now / oh my god / I need to make out with this man / for actual hours / immediately / how can one guy / be so sweet / and so hot at the same time / i HAVE to coat his face with lipstick
i figure / it's worth asking you trolls here / is it normal to spend / so so so much time / terrified of losing my matesprit? / he always says it's okay / after ive had a breakdown / but i really do feel like im taking a toll on him / and i don't want to be. / do any of you have any experiences / that could give some advice..?
do you have a moirail¿ it sounds like you could benefit from a feelings jam with one to help deal with this anxiety you're experiencing.
not / really / the closest i would have / would be my matesprit / anyone else / in the past that decided / to float the idea of being my moirail / are uh / people i dont want to talk to / ever again / and i don't think / i should elaborate on the idea
any of you trolls / know some good recipes? / im looking to try / more cooking / on my own time / anything you recommend?
i got to have / a short but really sweet date / with my matesprit last night / god i love him so much / he's so sweet / like a walking / smiling ice cream cone / that's gives real good hugs / my marvus is the best
new job / starts / 3 pm tomorrow / I'm ready / get hit the ground running
it's deeply frightening / being in a place / where people are / where there can be eyes on you / but if the alternative / is never seeing any other trolls again / and withering away / i'll sooner die of a heart attack / than rot in the bunker / any longer
Uhm, It Is AlrIght, AcqUAIntAncE sEcOnd chIxIE sUrEly All wIll bE rEsOlvEd...
its been long enough / since the bombs / that anything more happening / would be well beyond / the realm of reason / i just / cant stand the silence anymore / im going to talk to people / and try to feel / how alive i used to feel / with people all around / to talk to and laugh with
i have decided / that isolating myself / and hiding behind The Wall / like the drones are still flying / is not how i want / to live my life. / even if it means i get hurt / i'll just take it head on.
i want a place / where i can go / and not have to worry / every waking second / that someone there / is going to start saying mean shit / and making things up about me / just because they dont like me / i want stability / not a fucking clique to fall in line with / im so / fucking tired of this
i dont want pities or likes / i dont want followers / fuck / i barely even want this account / i just want somewhere i can feel calm again / this year has taken damn near everything i had left / what more can it take from me?
hey man are you like okay even a little bit
nearly every friend group i have had / in the past three years / actively wants to run me out / of any environment they find me in / my dogs are dead / my home is going empty / my job sucks / and the only people i can rely on / are just as damaged / that they cant be there / and the world wont give my wife a break / and i hate seeing her sad or tired or upset / i just want shit to be okay / instead of endlessly circling / into more fucking problems / in a neverending spiral / of people refusing to have basic / goddamn / empathy / im tired of everyone in the world / being callous / and mean / and punching down / at anyone they see struggling
im sick of the concept / of ringleaders / and their stupid fucking friendgroup hierarchy bullshit / everyone should be on even ground / and given the same leeway / and limits / screw this "i lead the friendgroup" bullshit / and the fucking charismatic narcissists that curate such a hostile environment / for everyone / existence in places like this / shouldn't be "youre either with me or evil" / fuck / ! / fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
even beyond my own experiences / its something thats so infuriatingly common these days / everyone wants to be the most morally superior person ever / who has all the right opinions / and that everyone else / deserves no room for error / or the slightest misstep or miscommunication / and everything must be treated like actual murder / when did we / as a society / decide that accountability / REAL accountability / not eternal blackmail / was something that shouldn't exist? / when did this society decide / that being human / and learning and growing / isn't allowed? / the most annoying people on earth / who will call you any damaging label under the sun / for so much as not enjoying the same things they do / or enjoying something they dont / have skeletons in the closet like you wouldnt believe / and yet THEY deserve second chances / and redeemability / and not you? / no! / fuck that! / you deserve to be able to learn / and grow / and be a better person too / so why the hell / does everyone on planet / fucking / earth / want to pretend that whoever you were / at any one point in time / that wasn't a literal embodiment of everything good in the world / is in fact all you will ever be / and equivalent to the devil?!
everyone is so quick / to blame others for the slightest problem / and justify every little action of their own / the hypocrisy / is fucking poignant / you could collect it like a dew / and make deadly potions with it / so many people / who just refuse to admit / that they just find us annoying / and nothing more / and have to find every possible reason / to justify it to themselves and everyone else / instead of just leaving us the fuck alone
TW #hyp9crisy #pr96lematics #t9xic6ehavi9ur #manySuchCases #n9tMeTh9ugh
like / i just hate / feeling / like at every corner / its just waiting / to happen again / and that more people / will disappear / again / i hate feeling / like i have to constantly live / in the shadow of other people's decisions / and other people's opinions / more than my own actions / i cant ever really guarantee / a secure friend group / because as long as i remain in the fanbase / come hell or high water / the same ever growing group of people / will show up / and i just have to be silent / and uncomfortable / and say nothing / and do nothing / and never be present / or else they'll make a scene about it / and i start all over from scratch / im so fucking tired / of losing people / over petty squabbles / and disagreements / from as far back / as two years ago / i just want to exist / and not be ran out of every possible source of comfort or community / just because i do and some people don't like it
do you ever / have those days / where you just wish / you didnt exist / or that the past several years / never happened / so you could just / still be happy
well / it looks like the dog / is getting put down tomorrow / anyway i'm / not going to be active much / for a bit
you ever / get that feeling / that people don't remember / you exist / unless you're actively in their face / and talking to them
All the time
I'm unforgett★ble.
i am not / going to go into detail / since even with an nsfw tag / some friends follow me / and i want to not be TOO inappropriate / but god / that much food / our wife / is gonna LOVE / being around me tonight / and i am very / very excited to get to spend / yet another night / with our partner system / they're the best / he's the best / she's the best / and i want to give them all / a real big kiss / because they're sweet / and they deserve to be happy / and know they're loved
christ / maybe it was / a little too much food this time