
ive never been c0nvinced it's not a wh0le bunch of extremely different humans wh0 never figured out the website lets y0u pick different names and col0rs.
PLEASE, AS IF ANY OF THOSE FUCKING CHARLATANS COULD BE ME. I'M THE ONLY ONE I'VE SEEN WHO ACTUALLY BEAT THE GAME, *OUR* ITERATION OF THE GAME. I KEPT ALL OF MY FRIENDS ALIVE, *AND* I AM A GOD DAMN EMPEROR. IF ANYTHING, *THEY'RE* CHEAP IMITATIONS OF *ME.*
Peons under your great and mighty hoof, bro, that's what I've been hearing. Grind their chitin into furikake for your supper, because you rule supreme over every pale imitation kani out there. They're straight-up fish paste in comparison to your homegrown, no fake, no additives, no MSG, no artificial coloring, no artificial flavors, no deviation, no bullshit, wholesale, real deal, real dude, real shit. Right? An essence of the true self exists within every derivative, no matter how pitiful. Regardless of how high you might shoot or how low you might stoop, some things always stay the same. There's no greater motherfucker out there capable of identifying these key factors than me, so strap your belt down, chucklefuck, and receive your one word synopsis. Your personality mainline encompassed, I speak it true like the Lorax busting a goddamn burn on Nestlé itself. Behold, dear Karkats. You all bleed just one thing: Ego.
I NEVER SAID THAT THEY AREN'T REAL. DERIVATIVES? YES. I'M THE REAL GOOD CEREAL ON THE STORE SHELF YOUR LUSUS BUYS WHEN THEY WANT TO MAKE SOME KIND OF GESTURE TOWARDS THE VAGUE IDEA THAT THEY LOVE YOU. THE OTHER ONES? THE HOMEBRAND SHIT THAT YOU EAT WITH WATER WHEN THE PAYCHECK IS ON ITS LAST GOD DAMN LEGS AND YOU KNOW THAT DINNER LATER WILL BE THE ICE SOUP SPECIAL. BOTH OF US ARE REAL, THEY ARE DEFINITELY, FACTUALLY 'KARKAT VANTAS', BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE ME. I AM THE BLOOD EMPEROR, AND I DEMAND MY POUND OF FLESH THAT THOSE OTHER KARKATS ARE ENTIRELY TOO FUCKING SPINELESS TO DEMAND. THEY'VE GROWN SOFT, SITTING THERE IN THE WATER WHILE I'VE BEEN NOURISHED BY MILK AND HONEY.
Right. That's what I just said, broski. I'm not doubting your object permanence here. The existence of real versus fake here is solely to distinguish gemkat from lower slopkat. Both kats. Both different breeds. But a dog will always be a dog. Anyway. Speaking of bleedin' ego, you just opened your main vein.
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HOOFBEAST'S ASS. I ALREADY GET THIS KIND OF SHIT FROM THE VOID EMPEROR.

