For the record, the last post doesn't apply to me. I'm different and unique, and the center of every feasible universe. To know me is to love me, and to love me is to revere every word I leave as an inconsiderate footnote on your day. The ache of my stifling hoofprint will fade, but the scar of my presence will remain. Such is life in my peripheral. Ashes to ashes.
CW: narcissism, self-aggrandizement, gratuit9us metaph9rs I think the m9st impressive part 9f this is that y9u managed t9 spend an entire paragraph ann9uncing that y9u are imp9rtant with9ut 9nce pr9viding a c9mpelling reas9n why. "Different and unique" is particularly inspired. I supp9se c9ngratulati9ns are in 9rder f9r disc9vering that y9u are an individual pers9n. I am sure the revelati9n was quite pr9f9und. And the h99fprint metaph9r was a l9vely t9uch. N9thing says "I have an appr9priately measured sense 9f self-imp9rtance" quite like c9mparing y9ur presence in 9ther pe9ple's lives t9 an indeli6le scar. Ashes t9 ashes, indeed. Prefera6ly the ashes 9f this p9st, 9nce it has 6een cremated f9r the pu6lic g99d.
CW: Haterismz, anti-horse sentiment, ableism. Dead dove ahead. Do not read. Oh, dope. For a second I was nervous there. I thought my post admonishing the self-importance placed on display by plotless side characters would go unengaged with by members of that particular party, but you turned up at the last minute to prove me wrong. I stroke your cheek tenderly and clasp my hands together. Gee, every wish fulfilled? Santa is helping Dirk eat good tonight. Anyway, my favorite part of this whole paragraph is that you fundamentally fumbled the callout, dogg. Ragging on me for my post-ironic sense of individualism makes you look mad silly right now. Pride cometh before the fall, but I have yet to be knocked off kilter. Firmly saddled. My high horse's knees refuse to buckle. Everything I say about myself and others is empirically true, because I am a better knower of me and a better knower of you than anyone else. You can trot the exterior of my fence, try to get a peak inside the barn to see how this magic happens, but it ain't happening. You're one of the herd. You aren't allowed in. I don't allow myself out. You're fucked.
CW: narcissism, equine-related metaph9rs, intellectual arr9gance, c9ndescensi9n I think y9u may have accidentally dem9nstrated my p9int m9re th9r9ughly than I ever c9uld. Y9u have spent this entire resp9nse insisting that y9ur percepti9n 9f y9urself is inherently infalli6le while simultane9usly declaring that y9ur percepti9n 9f every9ne else is equally infalli6le, which is a truly spectacular am9unt 9f c9nfidence t9 place in a 6rain that apparently c9nsiders self-assurance s9me kind 9f su6stitute f9r evidence. Empirical truth generally requires s9mething slightly m9re su6stantial than ann9uncing that y9u have app9inted y9urself its f9rem9st auth9rity. And I am afraid y9ur extensive 6arnyard alleg9ry d9es n9t make this any m9re c9nvincing. Y9u have 6uilt a fence, l9cked y9urself inside, declared y9urself the s9le auth9rized kn9wer 9f the c9ntents, and then apparently c9ncluded that this makes the c9ntents 96jectively unkn9wa6le. Als9, if y9ur high h9rse's knees have yet t9 6uckle, I rec9mmend giving them time. Even the m9st 9verw9rked animal eventually gets tired 9f carrying s9me9ne wh9 insists they are t99 imp9rtant t9 dism9unt.
CW: ableism, flag on the play, intentional sandbagging. Right. There's a handful of words I can deploy here to help illustrate my point better, but the obvious one sittin' here is just. Duh. Fuckin' duh, man. I am intentionally trouncin' your ass with the insufferable proclamations of my own arcane knowhow and infinite knowledge springs, and I feel like if I don't clarify that now, Doctor Dullittle the animal practitioner of cow turds and constipated bullshit, is gonna circletalk us into Dante's next ring of Hell. Your adherence to my biography is admirable. You really don't extrapolate any other meaning from what I'm saying, thanks, but come on. The subtext is right there. I'm too good to explain myself. I'm a thoroughbred in a field of mutt horses waitin' for the glue factory. I am the pinnacle, the apex, the rider. You fail to deconstruct it outside of the handwaved "nuh uh", because I provide you no purchase for your nails to dig into. So, anyway. This leaves us with an interesting conundrum, right? I, too numerous in my achievements to describe them all, unwilling to whip it out and egowank just to watch you move the goalposts. And you, the bronze place winner in ragebaiting, unwilling to grandstand for your worth, presumably wise to the fact that I, too, would alter the rules of our game to assure my own victory. Hmm. Using narcissism as an armchair diagnosis is a huge faux pas these days, by the way. Watch out, junior. Someone is going to think you're asleep, and not woke at all.
I have c9me t9 the realizati9n that y9u were never arguing in g99d faith. That is, admittedly, c9nsidera6ly m9re irritating than anything y9u have actually said. I have 6een treating this as th9ugh there were an argument here t9 dismantle, when apparently the entire purp9se 9f the p9st was t9 manufacture exactly the resp9nse I gave y9u. The a6surd declarati9ns, the deli6erately indefensi6le claims, the increasingly ela69rate h9rse metaph9rs -- y9u were n9t attempting t9 esta6lish a p9siti9n. Y9u were dangling 9ne in fr9nt 9f me t9 see whether I w9uld 6ite. And I did. Quite th9r9ughly, apparently. Which als9 explains why every9ne else had the g99d sense t9 leave y9u screaming inside y9ur metaph9rical 6arn while I apparently wandered in carrying a sh9vel and 9ffered t9 help y9u dig. S9 c9ngratulati9ns, I supp9se. Y9u successfully 6aited me. I w9uld like t9 clarify, h9wever, that this d9es n9t make y9ur 9riginal p9st clever. It is, h9wever, effective rage6ait. Th9se are n9t rem9tely syn9nym9us. Y9u c9nstructed an argument specifically s9 that n9 meaningful engagement with it c9uld 9ccur, then c9ngratulated y9urself when I attempted t9 engage with it meaningfully. Apparently the rest 9f the feed knew 6etter than I did and appr9priately did n9t resp9nd. I w9uld call it humiliating 6ut unf9rtunately this kind 9f issue is c9mm9n f9r me. At times pe9ple make a game 9ut 9f it. Call it a pr9f9und ina6ility t9 grasp s9cial cues, I supp9se. Every9ne else rec9gnized what y9u were d9ing immediately, and I was apparently t99 6usy writing a dissertati9n a69ut the structural integrity 9f y9ur imaginary 6arn t9 n9tice the fucking h9rse was 6ait.
((hate that i cant edit my replies. i fucked up a metaphor. ignore the bit about the shovel. forgot to complete it))
Your first mistake was seein' a dude's confidence as something to earnestly deconstruct. Your second mistake was coming onto this post with no clear tactic for victory in mind. Hannibal didn't lead his elephants to war for shits and giggles, bro, come on now. The horse was bait. You fell for it. See my pinned post for more details.