♠ hated by @radiatedHamster
SOMEONE ALLOWED ME TO WAKE UP TODAY. TIME TO MAKE IT EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM
TALKING ABOUT EVIL AGAIN? GOODY. I EXUDE EVILNESS, I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I WOULD BE WORRIED IF I DIDN'T. THOUGH IF I COME ACROSS AN OUTRIGHT "NICE" VERSION OF ME ON E-ARTH-C I WOULD THROW ROCKS AT HIM
YOU DON'T COUNT. YOU BARELY COUNT AS A *RODENT* LET ALONE A GRASS-TOUCHER
CARD GAMES, PLAY THEM. TOUCH GRASS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, MULTITASK A BIT
KRILL YOURSELF
SAY, DO YOU REMEMBER THE TWENTY-FIRST NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER?
GAMBLING! WE ALL LOVE IT OR HATE IT IN OUR OWN WAYS, BUT NONETHELESS WE KEEP CRAWLING BACK TO IT. ANOTHER EASY GAME THIS TIME: BLACKJACK. NO, NOT *THAT* BLACK-JACK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PLAYED A DUBIOUS GAME WITH YOUR FRIENDS THAT ARRIVED IN THE MAIL. THE RULES ARE SIMPLE; TAKE YOUR STANDARD DECK OF 52 CARDS AND REMOVE THE JOKERS, YOU WANT TO BEAT THE DEALER BY GETTING AS CLOSE TO 21 OR 21 *EXACTLY* WITHOUT GOING OVER OTHERWISE YOU 'BUST,' EUGH. BOTH YOU AND THE DEALER RECEIVE TWO CARDS, BOTH OF YOUR CARDS ARE FACE UP WHILE ONLY ONE CARD IS FACE UP FOR THE DEALER. WHEN THE CARDS ARE DEALT AND IT IS YOUR TURN YOU CAN TAKE A 'HIT' AND GAIN ANOTHER CARD TO YOUR TOTAL WHICH YOU CAN DO THIS AS MUCH AS YOU WANT UNTIL YOU STOP OR GO OVER 21, 'STAND' WHICH YOU STICK WITH THE TOTAL YOU HAVE AT THAT MOMENT, OR YOU COULD 'DOUBLE DOWN' (A PERSONAL FAVORITE OF MINE) IN WHICH YOU TAKE ANOTHER CARD AND *ONLY* THAT CARD FOR THE REST OF THAT HAND IN EXCHANGE OF DOUBLING YOUR BET. ACES COUNT AS 1'S OR 11'S DEPENDING ON WHETHER OR NOT THE HIGHER NUMBER MAKES YOU 'BUST' AND FACE CARDS COUNT AS 10'S, GETTING AN ACE AND A FACE CARD/10 RIGHT OFF THE BAT WINS YOU THE HAND, SAME GOES FOR THE DEALER IF IT HAPPENS TO THEM. THIS IS AN EASY GAME FOR KILLING SMALL AMOUNTS TIME AND MAKING SOME DECENT MOOLAH OUT OF IT IF YOU ACTUALLY BET MONEY ON IT AND DON'T FUCKING CHICKEN OUT OF IT, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 21/10 GAME, NEVER LOST MORE MONEY BEFORE IN MY LIFESPAN.
WHY ARE PEOPLE CONFESSING IF THEY'RE POLY-GONS OR NOT? THERE'S NOT A 'WRONG' SHAPE TO BE
FUN (DEBATABLE)FACT: GAMBLING ADDICTION, NO WHAT WHAT IT'S BASED ON, IS STRONGER IN TROLLS THAN IT IS IN HUMANS. THIS IS BASED OFF OF THE TROLLS' SURVIVAL INSTINCT OF 'CULL OR BE CULLED', THUS FUELING THE GAMBLING PROBLEM BY NEEDING TO WIN.
*I* AM THE EVIL VANTASS, DON'T LISTEN TO THE OTHERS. I EXUDE EVILNESS >:D
ALSO BEFORE ANYONE ELSE HAS THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY SO, I KNOW YOU SEE THESE ERIC; SHOCK COLLAR + BATHTUB COMBO (THIS ISN'T DOG RELATED, RESPECT YOUR BARKFIENDS FOLKS)
▲guess british kanaya's gone now▼ ▲good▼
▲yeah, she was british, i made that pretty clear▼
AIN'T MY FAULT YOU GOT SO MUCH IRRADIATED-PROSTATE ON YOUR BULGE THAT YOU CAN FINISH FIGHTS THAT YOU START
MAYBE IF YOU GETS SOME MORE FIGHT NIGHTS ON YOUR BULGE I'LL TAKE SOME IMPORTANT TIME OUT OF MY NIGHT AND SHOW YOU WHAT'S WHAT
CAN'T, BUSY LOSING AT BOARD GAMES
fyyyyght nyyyyght agayn!!!! wahoo! y have the perfect person yn pan to bryng along to the next fyght nyght event >::]
NEXT GAME IN THE CROSSHAIRS THIS EVENING: THE GAME OF LIFE (THE 2002 VERSION[I'M USING NON-SOLAR SWEEPS FOR THIS ONE BECAUSE THE DUMBASSES THAT MADE IT DIDN'T CONSIDER US TROLLS.]) THE PREMISE IS BASIC; YOU GO THROUGHOUT LIFE STARTING AROUND THE MIDDLE OF 'YOUR' LIFE SPAN, AND GO THROUGH THE USUAL BULLSHIT OF SCHOOLFED DEBT AND/OR MOST OF YOUR BUCKS TAKEN FROM YOUR SALARY WHEN THE TAXMAN COMES AROUND, CONTINUING ALL THE WAY UNTIL YOU DIE UNPEACEFULLY OF NON-OLD AGE BY DRONES AT THE END, WHOEVER HAS THE MOST CAEGERS GETS BRAGGING RIGHTS AND THE GAME IS OVER. SHOULD BY EASY, RIGHT? WELL YOU ARE VERY WRONG MY PROBABLY-TROLL ACQUAINTANCE! MY MAIN GRIPES ARE SUCH; THE 'POLICE OFFICER' CAREER GETS ONLY *TWO* SPACES THAT REQUIRE ANOTHER PLAYER TO PAY THEM, ONE MIGHT SAY "OH, THAT'S TO OFFSET THEM GETTING PAID ANYTIME SOMEONE ROLLS A TEN" BUT YOU'D BE WRONG AND I'D SHAME YOU FOR THINKING SUCH A WAY. NEXT UP ARE HIVES, YOU CAN ONLY OWN A SINGULAR ONE, WHICH ISN'T UNCOMMON FOR US TROLLS BUT IS A STUPID WAY THE GAME FORCES YOU TO PAY MOST OF YOUR CAEGERS EARLY ON, NOT EVEN BEING WORTH THE PAYOFF AT THE END! THE INGAME LOANS, THEY'RE DUMB AS SHIT, YOU WILL RARELY IF EVER HAVE TO TAKE OUT A LOAN BESIDES CHOOSING SCHOOLFEEDING AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME WHICH PRETTY MUCH RENDERS THEM INERT AND ONLY GOOD FOR FIREPLACE TINDER ON COLDER ALTERNIAN NIGHTS. OFFSPRING, THOSE GOG-AWFUL GRUBS ARE WORTH *NOTHING* IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THE GAME, THEIR SPOT IS SOLELY FOR GETTING A 'LIFE' TILE AND COULD'VE BEEN REPLACED WITH ANYTHING ELSE, AFTER YOU GET THAT TILE JUST HAND YOUR OFFSPRING TO THE NEAREST SUBJUGGULATOR FOR SOME EXTRA PAINTS. GOING BACK TO THE CAREERS FOR A MOMENT: 'TECH SUPPORT' HAS A STUPID CLAUSE UPON TAKING THE JOB THAT WHENEVER SOMEONE BREAKS THE SPINNER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOARD *OR* IT GETS STUCK BETWEEN NUMBERS THE PLAYER WITH THAT CAREER GETS PAID *$50'000* WHICH, IS A FUCKTON OF CAEGERS FOR THOSE OF YOU UNFAMILIAR WITH THE CURRENCY. YOU MIGHT CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY IF YOU GET THIS CAREER EARLY ON AND ARE PLAYING WITH A ROWDIER CROWD, *BUT* AND THIS IS A CRUICAL *BUT*, IF SAID ROWDIER CROWD STARTS GETTING FED UP WITH YOU GETTING HELLA STACKS EVERY TIME THEY FUCK UP THE SPINNER THEY MIGHT JUST QUIT THE GAME BEFORE YOU EVEN REACH THE END, THEREFORE FORFEITING YOUR BRAGGING RIGHTS AND (IN MY OPINION) MAKING THE ENTIRE GAME NOT WORTH PLAYING. SO IN CONCLUSION, THE GAME OF LIFE (2002) SUCKS SO MUCH BULGE THAT THERE WILL BE NONE LEFTOVER FOR SECONDS. CONSIDER REVALUATING YOUR LIFE IF YOU EVER DECIDE TO CLAIM YOU 'ENJOY' OR 'LIKE' THIS GAME. TL;DR, THE GAME OF LIFE (2002) IS BAD, FUCKING SUCKS ASS, AND YOU SHOULD PLAY LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. TL;DR TL;DR, GAME BAD, PLAY OTHER GAMES INSTEAD. THANK FUCK FOR THE FIVE-FIGURE CHARACTER LIMIT ON CHITTR.
SAME* GOG DAMMIT, FUCKING TYPOS
DESPITE WHAT MY BANNER SHOWS I ONLY PLAY SCUFFED UNØ, IT DOESN'T TAKE MONEY OUT OF MY WALLET AND IT STILLS FUCKS ME OVER THE SAFE #NSFW #UNØ
I thought your trollt^g w^s r^di^t3dProst^t3 wh3n I first s^w it. Would h^v3 b33n fitting. 𖦹⌄𖦹
just a gal hostyng partyes, glad the staff are cateryng to mii guests needs so y can focus on the new gossyp :;]
"Your text is hard to read". I go light mode Because my sleep schedule is so ruined I might as well sleep at night. Hope this helps