Karkat Vantass (streamer)
@carcinocytoGeneticist
I FUCKING HATE UNØ. NO TABLE TOP GAMES ARE SAFE HERE. (OOC: that one guy from the pesterParty youtube channel, a totally real channel with totally real people and totally...)
(This is a Totally-Real-Karkat account that's your run of the mill troll account. This Karkat is a variation of your average take on a Karkat in Paradox Space. This one just so happens to *really* hate card games and loosely corresponds with the same guy from that one pesterParty channel [since it's ran by him too (^‿^)ﾉ ] but yeah, enjoy the random bullshit that might be posted on here. This Karkat is usually an asshole, the guy running him is not, enjoy the shitshow!)
QUICK AND EASY ONE THIS TIME AGAIN; OLD MAID, YOU REMOVE A SINGULAR QUEEN FROM A STANDARD DECK OF 52 CARDS AND DISH THEM OUT BETWEEN YOURSELF AND THE OTHER PLAYER, YOU REMOVE ANY PAIRS FROM YOUR HAND AND THEN START TAKING CARDS FROM YOUR OPPONENT'S HAND. THE GOAL OF THE GAME IS TO NOT HAVE THE 'QUEEN' CARD AT THE END OF IT, SO HAVING A GOOD POKER FACE WHEN IT'S YOUR OPPONENT'S TURN TO TAKE ONE OF YOUR CARDS IS KEY. IF YOUR GANDERBULBS CAN ACHIEVE SUCH A FEAT; ANALYZE THE DESIGN ON THE BACK OF THE QUEEN CARD. OR SIMPLY KNOW YOUR OPPONENT'S TELLS, EITHER WORKS REALLY. NOT A BAD GAME SOLID 8/10
One of my personal favorites💚 father would play with me often on the nights he didn’t have a shift in the morning. Some of the best bonding moments we’ve had over the years.💚
HELL YEAH BADGES. EVEN GOT A DISCO ONE FROM GAMBLING, I'D BE IN A STATE OF ELYSIUM RIGHT NOW IF I DIDN'T LOSE AT CARD GAMES ALL NIGHT.
MILD TAKE, I THINK THAT A BATTLE OF WITS AND SMARTS IS BETTER THAN BARE-HANDED BEATDOWNS FOR #FIGHTNIGHT IMO. NOTHING LIKE A GOOD GAME OF CARDS TO WIN BRAGGING RIGHTS OVER, BOTH OF YOU GET TO GO HOME WITH SIGNIFICANTLY LESS WOUNDS THAT WAY.
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again panini cant read these you knoww that right
SUCK ON A PUFFERFISH, OF FUCKING COURSE I KNOW SHE CAN'T READ THESE.
NEXT GAME IN THE CROSSHAIRS THIS EVENING: THE GAME OF LIFE (THE 2002 VERSION[I'M USING NON-SOLAR SWEEPS FOR THIS ONE BECAUSE THE DUMBASSES THAT MADE IT DIDN'T CONSIDER US TROLLS.]) THE PREMISE IS BASIC; YOU GO THROUGHOUT LIFE STARTING AROUND THE MIDDLE OF 'YOUR' LIFE SPAN, AND GO THROUGH THE USUAL BULLSHIT OF SCHOOLFED DEBT AND/OR MOST OF YOUR BUCKS TAKEN FROM YOUR SALARY WHEN THE TAXMAN COMES AROUND, CONTINUING ALL THE WAY UNTIL YOU DIE UNPEACEFULLY OF NON-OLD AGE BY DRONES AT THE END, WHOEVER HAS THE MOST CAEGERS GETS BRAGGING RIGHTS AND THE GAME IS OVER. SHOULD BY EASY, RIGHT? WELL YOU ARE VERY WRONG MY PROBABLY-TROLL ACQUAINTANCE! MY MAIN GRIPES ARE SUCH; THE 'POLICE OFFICER' CAREER GETS ONLY *TWO* SPACES THAT REQUIRE ANOTHER PLAYER TO PAY THEM, ONE MIGHT SAY "OH, THAT'S TO OFFSET THEM GETTING PAID ANYTIME SOMEONE ROLLS A TEN" BUT YOU'D BE WRONG AND I'D SHAME YOU FOR THINKING SUCH A WAY. NEXT UP ARE HIVES, YOU CAN ONLY OWN A SINGULAR ONE, WHICH ISN'T UNCOMMON FOR US TROLLS BUT IS A STUPID WAY THE GAME FORCES YOU TO PAY MOST OF YOUR CAEGERS EARLY ON, NOT EVEN BEING WORTH THE PAYOFF AT THE END! THE INGAME LOANS, THEY'RE DUMB AS SHIT, YOU WILL RARELY IF EVER HAVE TO TAKE OUT A LOAN BESIDES CHOOSING SCHOOLFEEDING AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME WHICH PRETTY MUCH RENDERS THEM INERT AND ONLY GOOD FOR FIREPLACE TINDER ON COLDER ALTERNIAN NIGHTS. OFFSPRING, THOSE GOG-AWFUL GRUBS ARE WORTH *NOTHING* IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THE GAME, THEIR SPOT IS SOLELY FOR GETTING A 'LIFE' TILE AND COULD'VE BEEN REPLACED WITH ANYTHING ELSE, AFTER YOU GET THAT TILE JUST HAND YOUR OFFSPRING TO THE NEAREST SUBJUGGULATOR FOR SOME EXTRA PAINTS. GOING BACK TO THE CAREERS FOR A MOMENT: 'TECH SUPPORT' HAS A STUPID CLAUSE UPON TAKING THE JOB THAT WHENEVER SOMEONE BREAKS THE SPINNER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BOARD *OR* IT GETS STUCK BETWEEN NUMBERS THE PLAYER WITH THAT CAREER GETS PAID *$50'000* WHICH, IS A FUCKTON OF CAEGERS FOR THOSE OF YOU UNFAMILIAR WITH THE CURRENCY. YOU MIGHT CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY IF YOU GET THIS CAREER EARLY ON AND ARE PLAYING WITH A ROWDIER CROWD, *BUT* AND THIS IS A CRUICAL *BUT*, IF SAID ROWDIER CROWD STARTS GETTING FED UP WITH YOU GETTING HELLA STACKS EVERY TIME THEY FUCK UP THE SPINNER THEY MIGHT JUST QUIT THE GAME BEFORE YOU EVEN REACH THE END, THEREFORE FORFEITING YOUR BRAGGING RIGHTS AND (IN MY OPINION) MAKING THE ENTIRE GAME NOT WORTH PLAYING. SO IN CONCLUSION, THE GAME OF LIFE (2002) SUCKS SO MUCH BULGE THAT THERE WILL BE NONE LEFTOVER FOR SECONDS. CONSIDER REVALUATING YOUR LIFE IF YOU EVER DECIDE TO CLAIM YOU 'ENJOY' OR 'LIKE' THIS GAME. TL;DR, THE GAME OF LIFE (2002) IS BAD, FUCKING SUCKS ASS, AND YOU SHOULD PLAY LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. TL;DR TL;DR, GAME BAD, PLAY OTHER GAMES INSTEAD. THANK FUCK FOR THE FIVE-FIGURE CHARACTER LIMIT ON CHITTR.
kar panini cant read these, ya knoww that right?
I DON'T GIVE THE SLIGHTEST OF SHITS WHAT THAT ROBOT CAN OR CANNOT READ, IT IS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING AND SHE CAN SUCK MY BULGE FOR ALL I CARE.
Genuinely could have sworn the hatchlings count for points in *some* version of the game
NEXT UP ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK: SKIP-BØ. THIS GAME IS BARKFIEND-WATER AND YOU CAN GET SCREWED OVER BY SOMEONE MERELY *THINKING* OF STACKING THE DECK. IF SOMEONE COMES NEAR ME WITH THIS GAME IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOUR LUSUS WON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU.
DESPITE WHAT MY BANNER SHOWS I ONLY PLAY SCUFFED UNØ, IT DOESN'T TAKE MONEY OUT OF MY WALLET AND IT STILLS FUCKS ME OVER THE SAFE #NSFW #UNØ
SAME* GOG DAMMIT, FUCKING TYPOS
I FUCKING HATE UNØ.
kar wwhen is your kismesis joinin the site
WHEN I DO IT IT'LL HAPPEN TO YOU FIRST, AND I'LL MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT
ONE DAY WITHOUT YOUR FISH FLAKES AND YOU'RE COOKED, SERVED ON PAGE ONE OF THE MENU AT THE SEAFOOD PLACE
(This is a Totally-Real-Karkat account that's your run of the mill troll account. This Karkat is a variation of your average take on a Karkat in Paradox Space. This one just so happens to *really* hate card games and loosely corresponds with the same guy from that one pesterParty channel [since it's ran by him too (^‿^)ﾉ ] but yeah, enjoy the random bullshit that might be posted on here. This Karkat is usually an asshole, the guy running him is not, enjoy the shitshow!)