SOMEONE ASKS: HI *SATURN.* CAN YOU TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR TIMELINE? YOU MADE A FUN LITTLE TYPO THERE KITTEN, FIXED IT FOR YOU. MUST'⌁E HAD A MINOR PAN ANYEURISM OR SOMETHING YOU MIGHT ⌁ANNA GET THAT CHECKED OUT. NOTE TO MY DESK MONKEYS, MAKE SURE TO INCLUDE SOMETHING ABOUT CHITTR HANDLE AND IP ADDRESS FOR THE FUTURE SO ⌁E CAN SEND MEDICAL CARE ASAP TO ANYONE ELSE THAT DOESN'T HA⌁E A FUCKING FUNCTIONAL PAN. ANY⌁AY! SURE I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT IT. ⌁ELL FOR ONE, ALTERNIA IS OUT OF ITS DARK AGES AFTER A ⌁ALIANT NEAR-BLOODLESS RESTRUCTURE. I STARTED IN HUMBLE BEGINNINGS, JUST A SIMPLE SELF-EXILED TROLL OPENING HIS EYES TO THE REST OF HO⌁ THE UNI⌁ERSE ⌁ORKS, SICK OF THE SOCIOPATHIC BLOODSHED IN HIS HOME. SEE, IT ⌁OULD HA⌁E BEEN EASY TO TURN MY BACK ON MY FELLO⌁ TROLLKIND, BUT I KNE⌁ DEEP IN MY PUSHER I HAD TO COME BACK SOMEDAY AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. SO, I (BRA⌁ELY NOT KNO⌁ING THE OUTCOME BUT ALSO DAMN FUCKING CLEAR THAT IT ⌁AS GONNA BE BADASS AND HEROIC) DID ⌁HAT NO OTHER TROLL HAS DONE BEFORE, AND SET MY SIGHTS ON A DEAL THAT HIC HERSELF COULDN'T REFUSE. I ⌁ON'T BOG YOUR PAN DAMAGED NOGGIN ⌁ITH THE ⌁HOLE SCOPE OF IT, BUT SHORT STORY MADE SHORTER? THAT LOUDMOUTH HORROR SQUID ⌁E ALL BEEN AQUI⌁ER O⌁ER SINCE ⌁E FIRST MOLTED IS PERMANENTLY OUT OF COMMISSION. HIC HERSELF ⌁AS MO⌁ED TO TRUE EMPATHETIC TEARS BY THE COSMIC EFFORT ⌁E PULLED OFF AND HER PUSHER GRE⌁ THREE SIZES THAT DAY. NO MORE DEAD LUSII, NO MORE HEMOTYPE-BASED CULLINGS SA⌁E FOR THE TELE⌁ISED RECIPROCITY COURT THAT COMES ON AT 1800 E⌁ERY CYCLE (RATINGS JUST DOUBLED BY THE ⌁AY), SATURN CORP. IS COMMITTED TO MERIT-BASED COMPETITION, THE MERGER OF THE ALTERNIAN EMPIRE ⌁ITH EARTH ⌁ENT OFF GORGEOUSLY FI⌁E S⌁EEPS AGO. AND HEY! E⌁EN THE OCEANS ARE FINALLY BOUNCING BACK A LITTLE THANKS TO OUR ECOLOGICAL TEAM ⌁ORKING AROUND THE CLOCK. THEY FIGURE IT SHOULD BE PERMANENTLY LI⌁EABLE AGAIN IN AS LITTLE AS TEN MORE S⌁EEPS. SO YEAH, I'D SAY LIFE IS PRETTY GREAT IN THIS TIMELINE IF YOU'RE E⌁ER THINKING OF STARTING O⌁ER SOME⌁HERE NE⌁. THANKS FOR THE CHANCE FOR THE PROMO. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
