Juni - Circuit BR8KR System
@stuckoutofTime
one of a system. i don't really feel like i'm able to exist in the same time and year as everyone else, though i try a lot. condemned to be trapped in the past isn't fun, they make do for me though.
why do i feel like crying nothing's even happened today
typed a long post and then remembered maybe i should just keep my thoughts to myself sometimes
its another quiet night. i dont like it when it gets this quiet. feels like the room floods with physicalized tension, makes it really hard to breathe or relax.
when does it go from just being a little chilly to being concerningly cold i cant stop shaking but ive got layers of clothes and a blanket on and nobody else in the house seems to be this cold
i think its one of those days where you get home and theres not much desire to do anything but collapse and stare at a wall for four to five hours
every once in a while, things get quiet enough that it starts to feel like it isn't going to end. it's really hard to not spiral when it feels like that. like everyone could go on about their business for the rest of their lives without you being present. if we didn't have a wife to keep us chained down (in a good way, i wouldn't dare call her dead weight, that would just be all the more reason for her to hate me when she already has so many reasons, but angel that she is she refuses to) it would almost make a girl curious enough to see it through for real...
we're awake. have a few chores to do before our shift but i think i have enough time to do a few runs of metal slug. have any of you alternians ever played metal slug...? it's very fun. it's a good way of just shutting out the bad thoughts and keeping a mood up