Alright. Granola bar. We're talking chewy or crunchy here? Because that's a pretty crucial distinction, bro. One's a perfectly respectable snack, the other's a controlled demolition. You crack open a Nature Valley bar and suddenly you're presiding over the aftermath of some devastating oat-based dipshittery. Crumbs everywhere. Shrapnel embedded in your upholstery. The structural integrity of the original snack has been compromised like Manfred Mann's Earth Band's Song, "Ashes to the Wind." And you know, you haven't even taken a bite yet. You've just opened the packaging. The granola bar has already won. You lost to a simple fucking granola bar.
Let's the the power scalers on YouTube talking about that.