Would it be beneficial to the rubber-ducking process if the totem you're explaining your code to is also something that pisses you off to look at?
(My abusive mom had a huge-ass bust of Macaulay Culkin in the basement. I don't know where she got it and at this point I'm not sure I want to. If my code was breaking and I needed to rubber-duck it, I think verbally slapping the shit out of an effigy of the awful bust would help.)