I keep being told that I said things I do not remember saying. That is probably normal now. I asked the mediculler if the pan does that after too much work. He said yes, but he used more words than that. I did not like the words. They made a shape I could recognize, but not hold. Like wet paper. You pick it up, and it becomes smaller and worse. I asked what it meant when I remembered the wrong thing. He asked me what I meant by wrong. That was not helpful. I remember eating this morning. I remember it clearly. There was a bowl. There was a spoon. I set both of them beside the ablution trap because the counter was wet. Then I found the bowl in the cabinet. Clean. There was no spoon. The paste was still sealed. So I think I may have remembered tomorrow. Or somebody else remembered it near me. Or my pan made a thing where a thing was supposed to be. It does that now. There is a gap, and then there is not a gap. I know there was one because the floor feels wrong afterward. I told someone I went outside yesterday. I did not. But I had a reason ready. The street was loud. The air hurt. I needed bandages. None of that happened. It was still sitting in my mouth like it belonged there. I think my pan keeps handing me little fake papers. I keep signing them. I do not know how to stop. I do not know what it is called. The word was said to me, and then it left. I wrote it down. The writing looked smeared and the characters are alien to me. So I crossed it out. I do not need the word. I know what it does. It makes me fine. #cw-MedicalHorror #cw-Lobotomy #cw-MemoryLoss #cw-Unreality #cw-IdentityHorror #horror #cw-horror