...i often want to offer to help people. from big things like killing a threat, to small things like an illness to heal with magic. but my bullshit power levels are an inherent risk. so i end up just staying silent most of the time while the thoughts of "i can help" gnaw away at me as i do nothing to help. there are people better suited to helping others, but it still leaves me feeling. useless. i guess. perhaps even now part of me is still looking for... "purpose". which i suppose i do have as the defender of this planet, but. nothing much ever actually happens here.
its hard to just... live for yourself. esp when youve been alienated fur so long and you have so much capacity for good you could always see if the people of the planet youre guarding could use your help if only beclaws chittr has such a density of helpurrs lmeow.
...mm. would rather they dont know i exist. for a few reasons.