that just felt relevant after all the memory stuff yesterday.
i mean yeah. yesterday was both good and kind of terrible, but i'm safe.
i got to flirt with people who feel so out of my league and if it weren't for the memories of basically the worst things that happened to me, i'd be completely on top of the world. like, my life is good. it's really good. but it's been built on a lot of pain.
Empathized. I think our 30s are for ruminating on past experiences and debating on continuing that distrust moving forward. The socially aware positive answer is not to let that weigh you down. The realistic answer is there is no wrong choice in whether to continue strict caution or to allow self-leniency with developing relationships. You know what hurts you the most. You choose your own response to it. Past recollections of pain are important to note. It's survival instinct. Are you on the path to moving forward with communication?
you know, part of the problem is that i never got to be a teenager. and i mean that in several ways. my childhood just sort of ended and i've been making up for so much lost time. but being here, now, i get to have the best of all worlds. being an adult means i get to flirt with people who know what their kinks are. it's great, actually. so yeah, i think i am moving forward. i'm moving forward even if i'm looking back.i'm getting to have the kind of joy i didn't know was possible. yeah, the pain is there, and it lurks in the background, but 5 years ago all of those memories would have hurt me so much more. and, 10 years ago i might need to vanish for a week. things are better now.
Glad to hear it. Moving around in the world without a concept of a childhood is a strange feeling. I'm almost convinced even if there may be a lull now that it doesn't mean tomorrow has a permanent security. Regardless, I think you're doing well for yourself. You have a support system, you have goals that you're accomplishing at an appropriate rate, and an ultimate signifyer of healing is having a healthy relationship. Which, you've got in the bag. Jill World is getting to be a better place. Property value is rising and rent is skyrocketing.
oh gosh. you say the sweetest stuff sometimes, you know that? like you didn't even say something flirty, that was just so absolutely sweet.
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