*seasons crabdad with oldbay*
A PART OF ME IS SHOUTING, "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU," BUT HONESTLY, THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE HURLED THIS EXACT THREAT AT HIM WHENEVER HE BLOCKED ME FROM LEAVING THE HIVE IS SO FAR ABOVE ZERO THAT I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL THE MENTAL IMAGE OF THAT BUTTERY, BOILED BASTARD BURNING FOR HIS SINS. JUST TO BE CLEAR. DON'T DO THIS. BUT IF I WERE YOU, I'D USE ZATARAIN'S.
HEY, SO DO NOT FUCKING DO WHAT THAT IDIOT IN YOUR REPLIES IS SAYING. ZATARAINโS IS MID. END OF.
IT'S LIKE YOU SPEAK EXCLUSIVELY IN A LANGUAGE WHERE EVERY WORD OUT OF YOUR SHOUTHOLE MEANS "PLEASE KICK MY ASS." AND GOOD FUCKING DAMN, DO YOU HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS.
I HAD TO LEARN IT FROM SOMEBODY, *AHEM*. #THESAMEGUY.
CRABDAD WOULD BE SAD IF HE HEARD YOU TALKING SHIT LIKE THIS TO HIS ONLY SON.
AND HE WOULD ALSO BE SAD TO SEE THAT YOUโD STOOP SO LOW AS TO SEASON HIM WITH FUCKING ZATARAINโS. WHAT KIND OF RUN OF THE MILL, BOTTOM OF THE BARREL SHIT DO YOU THINK HE DESERVES. SHAME.
IF I WAS ONE PERCENT MORE EVIL AFTER PUTTING SO MANY EVIL HOURS IN AT THE EVIL FACTORY, I WOULD CHALLENGE YOU TO A FUCKING COOK-OFF WITH AS MANY DOOMED TIMECLONES OF HIM AS I COULD DREDGE UP. AND I'M GETTING MORE EVIL EVERY SECOND I TALK TO YOU. THIS CONVERSATION IS LITERALLY MAKING ME INTO A WORSE PERSON.
OH SO YOU BLAME *ME* FOR BEING AN ORNERY PIECE OF SHIT WHO USES OFF-THE-SHELF BELOW-GRADE SEASONINGS FOR OUR RESPECTIVE DEAD LUSIIโS SEAFOOD BOIL??????? OKAY. OKAY YEAH. NO BECAUSE THIS ACTUALLY TRACKS FOR YOU. IโVE BEEN *TRYING* TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR EVIL OVERLORD BULLSHIT FOR ALMOST A WEEK NOW AND YOU GHOSTED ME, SO GUESS WHAT VANTAS? IโM GOING TO TEAM YOU ON YOUR TASTE IN SMOKED SALTS AND HERB BUTTERS INSTEAD.
FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOR BURYING A DECLARATION OF WAR IN SOME FUCKWIT SALTBAE WIFEMAXXING STRIDER'S COMMENT SECTION. YOU WANT TO COOK A LUSUS SO FUCKING BAD? GAME ON, ASSHOLE. YOU. ME. TROLL IRON CHEF. I WILL TELEVISE THE FUCKING THING. YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU SOGGY LITTLE SHIT. YOU WANT EVIL, I'LL SHOW YOU EVIL.