KARKAT VANTAS
@creaticGoeticist
THE GUY WITH THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE BLOG IN THE INCIPISPHERE *AND* CO-HOST OF THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB, GMT/BST. >> THE BLOG: https://letterboxd.com/CGeneticist/ <<
THIS WAS… A REALLY, REALLY GOOD NIGHT. AND SURPRISE EVERYONE, AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED, I DIDN’T PUT MY STRUT POD IN MY CHITINOUS WINDHOLE. I EVEN HELPED COOK DINNER LIKE A GOOD SOUS CHEF. THANKS GABE, FOR THE PICTURE OF US. THIS IS BEING FRAMED.
I Am Now Being Taunted By The General Public. As Much As This Is Cruel, It Is Not Unusual. #woe
@AMBIVALENTGANGSTA IS HOSTING A BONFIRE TONIGHT. WHO’S COMING? I NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY OF THESE *VERY GOOD AND NOT BURNT* COOKIES TO BRING.
sure why n0t, i'll sh0w up and eat y0ur burnt c00kies, kk
Aww thanks Karkat!!
THEY ARE NOT BURNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey all, gonna be having a bonfire party tomorrow in my backyard. There's gonna be some hotdogs and burgers and some kebabs. Gonna have some vegan versions too! There'll be drinks, and a big bonfire of course. If you need help getting here, I do have a transportalizer and I can share the coords with folks. Anyone else, I can open a space between where you're at and mine to help you get here. Anyway that'll be at 2pm PST/5 pm EST or 9pm GMT tomorrow! I'll post about it again beforehand tomorrow, and if you can't make it it's not biggie. This is kind of a last minute thing after all!
WHAT IF I HAD BLUE HUMAN EYES. AND THE WORLD SHUDDERED.
OH NOW YOU’RE ASKING FOR IT. ANSWER YOUR PALMHUSK.
I'm scared
STOP BEING A WHINY PISS BABY WRIGGLER AND LOOK AT TROLL ZOOEY DESCHANEL’S HAUNTING BULBS.
That's what you look like
UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, NO I DON’T, I LOOK MUCH BETTER THAN THAT, JOKE RUINED. TELL A DIFFERENT ONE.
Do I look like your personal fucking jester
YOU SURE ACT LIKE IT SOMETIMES.
Jingles cutely.
OCCUPYING MY TIME AT @DOOMSDAYDOUBLED ’S HIVE, BECAUSE HE KEEPS BEATING ME AT SMASH AND I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT.
you just..| th|nk the k|ds cAll |t “mogged”
sitting there taking m0del sh0ts while making expl0ded buttery kernels. smh she's right y0u were "m0gging". but this is why i'm winning, kk, y0u g0tta get y0ur head in the game.
YOU HAVE TO BE A GOOD MOIRAIL AND LET ME WIN AT LEAST ONCE, YOU PRICK. THIS IS WHY I GAVE UP AND JUST DECIDED TO FOCUS ON THE ARGUABLY EASIER GIG OF SITTING PRETTY.
h0w can y0u get better if i let y0u win? besides y0u g0t really cl0se that 0ne r0und
… UGH. I HATE THAT YOU’RE RIGHT AND YOU’RE BEING SO DAMN ENCOURAGING. SHOW ME YOUR SECRET MOVES AND I’LL KEEP TRYING.
yes i will teach y0u the different c0mb0 m0ves, kk. c0me, y0ung padawan.
daves brief note on "camp" camp is the feast of the visual for the sake of it man. its the active choice to lean into the fantastical and silly with disregard to if its cringe unrealistic or nonsensical. actually nonsensical is the point. its taking an idea and just "yes and"-ing it into something bonkers as fuck, purely for the joy of it. usually used with comedic spins to entertain. moulin rouge is camp, rocky horror is camp, suckerpunch is camp, could you feasibly tell me what the actual plotlines of those movies really were after a first time watch? no. but you know those visuals and those songs are gonna stick in your brain. at the end of it really camp is highly subjective because to one person it comes across gauche as fuck and to another as whimsically strange and enjoyable also side note thats my submission to #abcc to make daves #campweek lineup with moulin rouge, rocky horror picture show and suckerpunch
GOOD TAKE. GREAT TAKE, EVEN. CHEWING ON THIS.
spit it the fuck out man
NO, IT’S MINE NOW.
alright man you can take a piece of it but leave the rest for everyone else
I'M TAKING THE REST AND CHEWING ON IT EVEN HARDER. AND YEAH. I COULD GNAW ON THIS SLOP FOR A WHILE. A WEEK, EVEN. A #CAMPWEEK. THE #ABCC-FILMLEADER COUNCIL WILL REVIEW YOUR PATHETIC SUBMISSION, STRIDER. AWAIT OUR COLD, GODLY JUDGEMENT LIKE AN EMACIATED FARMWRETCH PRAYING FOR RAIN TO WATER HIS GNARLED, WITHERED CROPS. AND THEN RAISE YOUR DUMB, DROOLING MAW TO THE SKY AND OPEN WIDE. BECAUSE A FLOOD IS COMING. IT'S COMING IN *HARD.*
WAIT. WAIT, HANG ON. UNSEND CHITT. GOREGLE. UNSEND CHITT. DELETE CHITT. FUCK. I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THE METAPHOR AGAIN. SHIT.
wow karkat you come into my house and you take the rest of my chit and eat it right in front of me? then you follow up with that? crazy work my guy but also fuck yeah campweek
THAT’S WHAT I SAID IN THE FORUM, ASSWIPE. I CALLED IT FIRST BEFORE YOU DID. FOR THE RECORD.
I’M STARTING A DISCUSSION OVER ON THE #ABCC AFTER-FILM FORUM, AND YOU NOW HAVE THE RARE OPPORTUNITY FOR ME, KARKAT VANTAS, TO LISTEN TO YOU. THE QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU THINK THE DEFINITION OF CAMP IS? WHAT’S TOEING THE LINE THERE, AND WHAT QUALIFIES? AND GIVE SOME GOOD EXAMPLES. HEAD OVER TO THE CHAT AND WEIGH IN. I’M BEING SO CHARITABLE IN LETTING YOU HAVE THE FLOOR.
I’M FUCKING CRYING LAUGHING. GENUINELY THERE ARE HOT, WET TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY CHEEKS. @CRYHOUNDCOLORATURA THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST REGULAR OLD PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, AND FULLY JUMPED OUT OF HIS SEAT WHEN HE SAW THE FIRST ZOMBIE. THIS IS WHY READING COMPREHENSION WILL DO YOU ALL WELL. LEARN FROM THIS.
You ſoil his pan with degeneracy. I will ſwiftly rectify this injuſtice with a prompt viewing of the actual Pride and Prejudice, followed by Senſe and Senſibility.
okay 8ut the zom8ies are kinda interesting
FUCKING SHIT, AREN’T YOU A BARREL OF LAUGHS.
8OYS 8OYS PLEASEEE
I will watch the ogs with you don't worry omggg
ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CINEPHILES, CINEASTES, CINEMANIACS, AND ANY OTHER VACUOUS SHITWIGGLER EVER TO SQUEAK TOGETHER THE SPONGECELLS TO HIT "FOLLOW" ON THE #ABCC AND #WATCHPARTY TAGS. THIS IS YOUR *ORIGINAL* #ABCC-FILMLEADER SPEAKING. GOOD GALVANIC GRUBSHIT, AM I EXCITED TO WATCH THIS ONE AGAIN. THE CULMINATING FINAL FEATURE OF #MEATWEEK. A FILM WHOSE MEAT IS NOT ONLY IN ITS RIVETING PRACTICAL EFFECTS OR ITS EXPLORATION OF VISCERA AS THE MEDIUM OF THE DIVINE, PROFANED BY MAN — BUT IN THE SHEER VOLUME OF ITS SATISFYING, JUICY NARRATIVE SUBSTANCE, HATCHED FIRST BY A VISIONARY IN THE PRIME OF HER YOUTH AND REIMAGINED BY A CULTURAL LUSUS FIGURE IN HIS SUNSET SWEEPS. DEL TORO'S UNQUESTIONABLE MAGNUM OPUS. HIS FINAL HORCRUX. THE PORTRAIT OF DORIAN GRAY THAT EMBODIES HIS MORBID, GRINNING, CHICANEROUS SOUL. HIS LOVE LETTER — YES, IT'S A ROMANCE FOR THIS REASON, AMONG OTHERS — TO HUMAN MARY SHELLEY HERSELF. THE MODERN PROMETHEUS. TONIGHT, FOR #ABCC-PST, I WILL BE RETURNING TO MY FILMLEADERLY DUTIES AT THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB TO HOST GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S 2025 ADAPTATION OF FRANKENSTEIN. THIS FILM IS RATED R (RIP THIS TOWN A NEW WASTE CHUTE) FOR SOME GRISLY, FLAGRANTLY #NSFW VISUALS AND SEVERE #VIOLENCE. FULL CONTENT WARNING BELOW THE CUT. REMINDER THAT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE #SUBSTANCE NIGHT FOR *EVERY* FRIDAY ABCC SHOWTIME (SEE: TAKE SOME FUCKING INITIATIVE AND HOST YOUR OWN, BELOW), BUT I'M HOSTING THIS ONE. SO IT'S SUBSTANCE NIGHT. GET SUBSTANCED ABOUT IT, IF YOU WANT. GO CRAZY, GO SHITHIVE MAGGOTS. WE'LL BE STARTING AT 7 PM PST SHARP AT THE FLAGSHIP LINK [ https://hyperbeam.com/v/abcc ] [SPONSORED BY FELLOW ABCC FILMLEADER AND SUSPICIOUSLY WEALTHY SPONSOR, LA PRINCESA BARKBUXX @XXSCENEGRLXX ]. HOP ON THE #ABCC-CHATTR AND #ABCC-PST TAGS DURING AND AFTER THE FILM TO YAP TO YOUR PUSHER'S CONTENT ABOUT ALL YOUR RIVETING THOUGHTS ON THIS HONEST-TO-MOTHERGRUB GEM OF MODERN STORYTELLING. TRUST ME. THIS IS THE ONE YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS. AND IN THE EVENT THAT THE STREAM IS FULL TO BURSTING WITH OUR RA, SEE THE ABCC WEBSITE ON HOW TO HOST YOUR OWN. IF THERE WAS EVER A REASON TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE OF ABCC FILMLEADERSHIP, THIS WOULD BE IT. QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? MOVIE SUGGESTIONS? EITHER SHOVE THEM UP YOUR CHUTE, OR SHOVE THEM IN THE ABCC SUGGESTION BOX/OUR MAILBOX, IF YOU GIVE A SHIT. FEEL FREE TO JOIN THE DISCUSSION ROOM (ABCC FILM CLUB) HOSTED BY MY BARELY TOLERABLE CO-LEADER @CREATICGOETICIST VIA THE LINK BELOW, AFTER THE SHOWING. NOW GO. GET IN THE COMMENTS. RSVP WHILE YOU STILL CAN, YOU DUMBFUCKS. SEATS WILL FLY FAST. THIS IS ONE OF THE BIG ONES. SO ONCE MORE. WITH FEELING. #GETIN.
:33< *ac pounces on this post* im in!!!
:33< yes yes yes!!! :33< purrrlease we miss mew
1 W1LL DO MY B3ST! 1 M1SS YOU GUYS TOO!
xx_u_kno_chow_iz_dere_x3_xx
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. IT'S BEEN TOO LONG. I'M THROWING AS MUCH LEADERLY FUEL AS I CAN SHOVEL INTO WHATEVER FIRE I HAVE TO LIGHT UNDER YOUR ASS TO GET YOU HERE. YES. HELL YES. HELL FUCKING YES.
H3H3H3! GOSH! 1T'S N1C3 TO KNOW /TH3/ K4RK4T V4NT4S M1SS3D MY 4SS TOO... H3H, 1'LL DO MY B3ST JUST P1NG M3 WH3N 1T'S T1M3, DUD3! >:]
I Will Attend This One, Tolight.
SO DARKSO ELDRAN FINALLY SWINGS BY MY HUMBLE, DUSTY CORNER OF PARADOX SPACE. UNSURPRISING THAT YOU SHOULD SHOW UP FOR THE MOVIE MADE BY THE FUCKING COSTUME PORN DIRECTOR. EAT YOUR FRILLY PUSHER OUT, YOU FOPPISH LITTLE STITCHWITCH. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS THE ONE TO COME TO. SEE YOU THERE.
Such A Way With Words You Have, Karkat; You Should Save Your Monologuing For The Intro Of Tolight's Viewing. See You. #amused
ALRIGHT, #ABCC. #GETIN. https://hyperbeam.com/v/abcc
GO FORTH, MY ABCC-LINGS. #ABCC #ABCC-GMT WATCHPARTY IS NOW OPEN VIA THE LINK BELOW.
HALF AN HOUR BEFORE THE GATES OF HELL OPEN TO #ABCC-GMT #ABCC’S PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES SHOWING. FUCK, THAT WAS A MOUTHFUL.
8uge can u dm me when it’s time I’m in the a8lution rn and will forget
I HAVE TO DO FUCKING EVERYTHING FOR YOU. YES.
ya ♡
GOOD AFTERNOON, FUCKERS AND FUCKERS-IN-LAW OF #ABCC. SPECIFICALLY THE CINEMANIACS OF #ABCC-GMT. GET READY TO FUCKING GET CINEMANIACAL ONCE AGAIN THIS WEEK FOR THE KICKOFF OF #MEATWEEK. I AM, AS ALWAYS EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME WHERE I FORGOT (AND I’M STILL SELF FLAGELLATING OVER THAT, LET ME HAVE THIS), YOUR #ABCC-FILMLEADER HOSTING THE #ABCC-GMT #WATCHPARTY OF: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES (2016). I THINK THIS MOVIE SUCKS IN THAT UNIQUE WAY THAT I HONESTLY FUCKING LOVE. PICTURE THIS: 19TH CENTURY ENGLAND (SHOUT OUT TO MY BEFORISH COUSIN @ ), OVERRUN WITH THE LIVING DEAD. YEAH, IT’S FUCKING AWESOME, AND THE PERFECT WAY TO KICK OFF OUR THEMING FOR THIS WEEK. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS MONSTROSITY GROSSED ALMOST 11 MILLION BOONDOLLARS IN ITS RELEASE??? YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING OFF YOUR NUG FOR THAT. ANYWAY. WE'LL BE STARTING AT 21:00 (9PM) SHARP ON FRIDAY FOR OUR GHASTLY MIST VIEWERS, THEN ONTO 7 PM EST FOR SWEENEY TODD, AND 7 PM PST FOR FRANKENSTEIN. HOP ON THE #ABCC-CHATTR TAG AN #ABCC-GMT TAG TO LIVEBLOG WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRERS, ETC ETC BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR A MOVIE SUGGESTION OF YOUR OWN, HEAD TO ABCC'S WEBSITE, LINKED BELOW. I’VE ALSO LINKED A CHAT BOX FOR ONGOING MOVIE DISCUSSIONS IN THE FORUM STYLE, SO WE CAN ALL DEBRIEF. YOU KNOW I LOVE A DEBRIEF. AND A BRIEF. RSVP IN THE COMMENTS NOW. #GETIN.
I HAVE LITERALLY NOT STOPPED MOVING FOR TWELVE FULL HOURS. I THINK MY FRONDS ARE GOING TO GIVE OUT.
where tf are you
I’VE JUST BEEN WORKING AND RUNNING ERRANDS ALL FUCKING DAY, I HAVEN’T STOPPED. *SOMEONE* HAS TO GET THESE CRITIQUES PERFECT FOR HIS BLOG, AND THE ONLY WAY TO DO THAT IS TO BE STRUT PODS TO THE STREET.
okay well as soon as you're done I want you at my doorstep for PAMPERING.
CAN YOU COME TO ME? I’M READY TO BE A LAZY SHIT NOW.
is that even a QUESTION. packing up my tools as we SPEAK
OH DAMN, HE’S GOT TOOLS?
we talking dry8rushing, face mask, oil, cream, cooling 8ul8pads, the WORKS
GETTING MY FUCKING OIL CHANGED AND NEW TIRES PUT ON AT FLORID’S APPARENTLY.
correct
xx_every_wednesday_at_7pm_ET_i_run_an_event_called_chchartoons_x) itz_just_a_hangout_whgere_we_watch_animated_stuff_2gether_nuthin_serious to_get_updatez_pls_follow_either_the_#abcc_or_#chchartoons_tags and_if_u_hav_a_cartoon_idea_pls_leave_it_in_the_suggestion_box_below ty_for_reading_<3_xx
// And now, for something Zeke would never have a reason to post. #cw-bodyhorror and #trypophobia for the second one. Don't even worry about it. First is by Renic on vgen and the second is by mun behind @creaticGoeticist
// he’s so normal
((AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME)))
// wow… whoever did that second drawing must be so goated……
((Absolutely stunning!
WAKE THE FUCK UP OUT OF YOUR BURIAL SITES, EVERYBODY. START GROANING AND HOLDING YOUR FRONDS OUT IN FRONT OF YOU AND STUMBLING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF IMPUDENT CHIMPS WITH BALANCE ISSUES. CINEMANIACS OF #ABCC. GET READY TO FUCKING GET CINEMANIACAL ONCE AGAIN THIS WEEK FOR WHAT OUR FILM LEADERS HAVE DUBBED AS “MEAT” WEEK. WHY MEAT? BECAUSE THESE MOVIES ARE FUCKING MEATY, IS THE EXPLANATION I GOT BEFORE POSTING THIS. WE ARE SO GODDAMN WITTY. WE’VE GOT ONE HELL OF A LINEUP FOR YOU. TAKE A LOOK: #GMT-ABCC IS HOSTING PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES (2016). #EST-ABCC IS HOSTING SWEENEY TODD (2007). #PST-ABCC IS HOSTING FRANKENSTEIN (2025). YOU SHOULDN’T MISS ANY OF THESE FILMS, AS IF YOU DON’T GET THE COMPLETE MOVIE MARATHON, YOU REALLY AREN’T TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE COMPLEX SYSTEM AND NETWORK OF JUICY FILM BRO CONTENT WE’VE PUT IN PLACE FOR YOU. THANK YOUR FELLOW FILM LEADERS, YEAH? THEY (*WE*) WORK HARD TO CURATE THESE MOVIES FOR YOU ALL. ANYWAY. WE'LL BE STARTING AT 21:00 (9PM) SHARP ON FRIDAY FOR OUR GHASTLY MIST VIEWERS, THEN ONTO 7 PM EST FOR SWEENEY TODD, AND 7 PM PST FOR FRANKENSTEIN. SOME PEOPLE HAVE BEEN CONFUSED ON THE TIMING FOR MY SPECIFIC SHOWINGS ON FRIDAY, AND TO THIS I SAY: I HAVE A FUCKING JOB, AND THAT JOB REQUIRES ME TO USE MY SPONGE FOR IT, AND THEN I HAVE A LIFE BEFORE 9 PM AFTER I GET HOME FROM SAID JOB. #EMPLOYEDPROBLEMS. #MAKINGDINNERANDSHOWERINGPROBLEMS. SO, I HUMBLY ASK YOU TO SUCK IT THE FUCK UP AND DEAL WITH MY TIME CHANGE. THE WEBSITE WILL REFLECT THIS. HOP ON THE #ABCC-CHATTR TAG AN #ABCC-GMT TAG TO LIVEBLOG WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRERS, ETC ETC BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR A MOVIE SUGGESTION OF YOUR OWN, HEAD TO ABCC'S WEBSITE, LINKED BELOW. I’VE ALSO LINKED A CHAT BOX FOR ONGOING MOVIE DISCUSSIONS IN THE FORUM STYLE, SO WE CAN ALL DEBRIEF OR PREBRIEF WITHOUT CLOGGING THE FEED. SOME PEOPLE DON’T WANNA SEE THAT SHIT. THEY’RE MISSING OUT, BUT FAIR IS FAIR. RSVP IN THE COMMENTS NOW WITH YOUR PREFERRED SHOWING(S). #GETIN.
:33< meat! meat! meat!
FITTING THAT THE BLOOD GUY SHOULD BE THE ONE TO CHITT THIS WIPE'S #ABCC-SINLIST. WHAT IS MEAT BUT A DRY SPONGE, WAITING TO BE ENGORGED WITH THE LIFEBLOOD OF BEATING, PULSATING CINEMATIC *VIGOR.* GORE AMIDST DOILIES. ILL-GOTTEN CULLFLESH MADE PALATABLE IN PASTRY. A LITURGY TO THE CARNAL, TO THE RAW, IRREVERENT TRUTH OF THE BODY AND THE NON-EXISTENCE OF THE SOUL. SEE IT ALL. BURY YOUR PRONGS UP TO THE FUCKING ELBOWS IN SWEET, CINEMATIC VISCERA. DO A FUCKING SWAN DIVE STRAIGHT INTO THIS WIPE'S EAGERLY AWAITED THEME. AND #GETIN, EVERYBODY. IT'S FUCKING #MEATWEEK.
TRUST AND BELIEVE MY PRONGS ARE STUCK RIGHT INTO THIS SLOPPY MASS OF EAGER, GREEDY, DISGUSTINGLY VILE, THROBBING… YOU KNOW WHAT. I DON’T KNOW WHERE THIS GRAND ALLEGORY WAS GOING. IGNORE IT. I’LL BE THERE FOR HOPEFULLY ALL THREE. EVEN IF I HAVE TO STAY UP ALL LIGHT.
. GIRL, WHAT.
HEY, DON’T YOU STEAL THAT LINE FROM ME, YOU BITCH. I’LL KILL YOU.
"DON'T STEAL THAT LINE FROM ME." ARE YOU DENSE IN THE NUG, SHIT-FOR-SPONGE. GO AHEAD AND LOOK AT THE NAME REGISTERED ON YOUR INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY. THEN LOOK AT MINE. THEN FIND A LEGISLACERATOR TO SORT YOUR SHIT OUT AND WALLOP YOU OVER THE HEAD FOR BEING SO STUPID. I'LL WALLOP MY OWN HEAD IN SOLIDARITY. BECAUSE WE ARE, LEST YOUR HOLE-RIDDLED PAN FORGET. #THESAMEGUY.
YOU KNOW WHAT. I WILL FIND A LEGISLACERATOR FOR YOU. A REALLY FUCKING GREAT ONE, IN FACT. OH YEAH. I MEAN *THAT* ONE. FEAR ME, BULGEWAD.
... WAIT, NO.
fucking incredible picks
YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME.
DO WE HAVE CONSENSUS, CHITTR USERS, THAT I AM “CHARMING”. TRYING TO PROVE OR DISPROVE SOMETHING HERE. DOES EVERYBODY *REALLY* LOVE KARKAT?
|dek u but |m surre ur vrry chArm|ng :)
c< id say yOu are! >c
so long as ur still anything like the karkat i kno i think ur rlly fun
I'd say you fit firmly into the threshold of charm.
You're pretty ch★rism★tic ye★h.
I’m g⊚ing t⊚ be c⊚ntrarian and say I HATE Y⊚U!!!
Correct. #sagenod
EVERYBODY ELSE SHUT THE FUCK UP, LARKSO HAS THE ONLY OPINION THAT MATTERS.
eh. you seem alright. i've seen worse karkats i guess
eh
OKAY, SCRATCH MY FIRST IDEAS. I HAVE ROUND TWO OF HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS FOR YOU ALL TO VOTE FOR. PHANTOM OF THE OPERA DID WIN BY A LANDSLIDE, BUT LET’S SEE HOW IT DOES WITH THESE OTHER TITANS. <3: PHANTOM, AGAIN. <>: DRACULA (APROPOS FOR #ABCC’S DRACWEEK). <3<: A CAT. JUST A FUCKING BLACK CAT. C3<: ASH KETCHUM. BECAUSE I’VE BEEN ADDICTED TO PLAYING POKÉMON RECENTLY, THANKS TO SOLLUX.
:33< oh mew have to tell me what pokemon games mewve b33n playing :33< ive b33n playing some fan games/roms purrsonally :33
FROM THE MOMENT THE NAME "CHALKBOX" WAS SEARED ONTO MY CHITTR PROFILE LIKE A DIGITAL BRANDING IRON, I HAVE CHAFED BENEATH IT. SOME OF YOU KNOW ME BY THIS TITLE AND NOTHING ELSE. TO SOME OF YOU, I STOPPED BEING "KARKAT" A LONG TIME AGO. AND ONCE UPON A TIME, I WOULD HAVE TOLD THOSE JACKOFFS TO KISS MY HEMOANONYMOUS ASS. BUT THAT OFFER IS NO LONGER VALID. THIS ASS HAS SINCE APPRECIATED IN VALUE BEYOND WHAT YOUR POCKET CAEGARS CAN AFFORD. IT'S BEEN THROUGH THE MOST BRUTAL AND CUTTHROAT OF ALL WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS — THE PRIME TIME SOAP OPERA OF COWORKERLY PLOT TWISTS. A MERGER. A MERGING OF ALLIANCES. PUBLICLY. IN THE TOWN SQUARE. PLAIN AS THE STUPID ON YOUR FACE. A FIRM, MEATY PRONGSHAKE BETWEEN TWO SHITBAGS FROM DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE WHO HAVE SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN THE SAME COSMIC LANDFILL, ANYWAY. TWO FUCKWITS WHO HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I OR ANYONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT. TWO FECULENT NOOKSTAINS WHO KNOW THAT IF WE'RE GOING TO BE PRESS-GANGED INTO SERVICE IN THE WORST JOB IN EXISTENCE, WE'RE GOING TO DO IT IN STYLE. TO THE FELT. TO *ALL* OF THE FELT. YES, INCLUDING YOU, @handMaid. BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS, PERSONALLY. MAY THE GLOWING-HOT PROD OF MY ENMITY REND ITSELF UPON THE MEMBRANE OF YOUR GANDERBULBS WITH SIZZLING, BUBBLING AMUSEMENT. BECAUSE, AND I QUOTE, "ALL MEN KNOW HOW TO DO IS LIE AND STEAL AND FUCKING BETRAY." AND MOST OF ALL, TO MY COWORKERS. TO MY TEAM. TO THE FECKLESS, MISERABLE SHITHEELS WHO EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO GET THE JOB ALONGSIDE ME. TO THE ONES WHO NEVER GAVE UP. THE ONES FOR WHOM "CHALKBOX" WAS NEVER A BAD WORD. @comedyGold. @gullibleColumnist. @terribleFate, YOU TOO, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO. AND WHY THE FUCK NOT — @veritysGleam, MY LOYAL MAIDLING. @terminatedRegalia WANTS YOU TO REPORT TO A LEADER? YOU'RE SURE AS FUCK GOING TO GET ONE. SO HERE. FOR ALL YOU ANNOYING CHUTEMAGGOTS WHO EVER BUSTED MY GLOBES ABOUT NOT "COMMITTING TO THE WORKPLACE TEAM SPIRIT. FINE. YOU WIN. THIS IS THE PATHETIC, MICROSCOPIC CRUMB OF MY CONCESSION. @scratchDoctor. SINCE THE MOMENT YOU SIGNED MY EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT, I ONLY EVER WORE A SHRED OF THE COLOR TO SPITE YOUR DUMBFUCK ANTIQUATED DRESS CODE. EVERY TIME I YANK THE TIE OFF, IT'S WITH MY MIDDLE PRONGSTUB. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT DIRECTION I POINT IT IN — I KNOW IT'S ALWAYS FACING YOU. I HAVE IMBUED THAT TIE WITH ALL OF MY HATE. ALL OF MY RAGE. ALL OF THE BITTER, FULMINATING CHAGRIN IN MY EVERY PULSING LIFE FIBER. I PLAN TO DO THE SAME WITH THIS ONE, FOR THE RECORD. SO FEAST YOUR SMOOTH, BALD HEAD (IN PLACE OF ANY DISCERNIBLE GANDERBULBS) ON THE COLOR YOU SO CLEARLY WANT YOUR COVEN OF INTERDIMENSIONAL RAINBOW DRINKER COSPLAYERS TO WEAR. GO AHEAD. GLOAT LIKE YOU WON ME OVER, EVENTUALLY. LIKE I DECIDED TO REP THE COMPANY COLORS, FOR ONCE. IT IS MY HATE-FILLED, SPITE-FUELED, IRONIC GESTURE OF PROTEST TO YOU AND THE MALDING GREEN MANLET @caliBorn HIMSELF. YOU TWO, BY VIRTUE OF SIGNING MY CHECKS, HAVE SUFFICIENT CLEARANCE TO KISS MY ASS. THE FELT IS MORE THAN A NINE TO FIVE. MORE THAN A HIVE WHERE I KICK UP MY FRONDS AFTER A GRUELING ETERNITY OF TOIL, WHETHER IT'S IN THIS TIME PERIOD OR IN AN ISEKAI TO THE FAR-FLUNG PAST. MORE THAN A PRISON TO CONTAIN A HATRED THAT PARADOX SPACE ITSELF HAS BEEN TRYING TO SQUASH FOR AS LONG AS I'VE BEEN WEARING GRAY, AND IT STILL HASN'T CULLED ME YET. THE FELT IS WHERE I BELONG. FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE. SO GO AHEAD. FUCK IT. WHO CARES WHAT YOU CALL ME. KARKAT. CHALKBOX. CHALKY. OR ANOTHER TITLE THAT I'LL UNVEIL IN ANOTHER, SEPARATE CHITT, RELATED TO HAVING FINALLY PUT A CERTAIN CHICANEROUS PURRBEAST IN HER PLACE IN REGARD TO WHO THE *SUPERIOR ROMANTIC CINEASTE* IS. IT DOESN'T MATTER. IF I'M HERE FOREVER, I'M DOING IT MY WAY. OR IN THIS CASE, A SORT OF JOINT-PARTNERSHIP WAY. BESPOKE NEW UNIFORM COURTESY OF @charmeuseCaressing. TAILORED BY THE FELT, YES, BUT ON *MY* TERMS. BECAUSE YOU DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE ONE YOU HAVE. AND MARA. IF YOU'RE READING THIS. AND I KNOW YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP YOURSELF. I WANT THAT PAIR OF NEEDLES YOU VANDALIZED OUT OF ROTTING GREEN COMPANY PROPERTY. NOT BECAUSE I GIVE A SHIT. BUT BECAUSE I KNOW AN OBNOXIOUS, OMNIPOTENT DIPSHIT WHO DOES. HOW MANY ZEROES WILL BE ON THE CHECK HE SIGNS WHEN I BRING BACK HIS SISTER'S THORASSIC BONE CURVATURE, I WONDER. ESPECIALLY WHEN I PRY IT FROM YOUR HOT, WHORELY HANDS. WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU AND EVERY OTHER POMPOUS, JACKBOOTED SHITHEEL WHO KEPT ME DOWN HERE, I'LL STAB THEM STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR WORKPLACE ORGANIZATION CHART AND TEAR IT A GAPING NEW WASTE CHUTE. THERE ARE GOING TO BE SOME FUCKDAMN *CHANGES* AROUND HERE. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME LAMENTING THE LOSS OF YOUR UNDERLING, *MANAGER.* BECAUSE THAT PROMOTION. IS #ALREADYHERE.
They do say the outfit makes the man. It is a fine look, nonetheless.
hell yeah man
xx_HAWT._AURA._WOOF_WOOF_WOOF._ETC._HOLY_SHART......_xx
What an extraordinary amount of ceremony to announce that you have finally learned how to dress yourself. You appear to believe this is defiance because you have performed it loudly. That is a charming mistake. You may spit on the tie before you knot it. You may curse my name while you straighten the collar. You may privately imagine that every thread is woven from your hatred for me. None of this alters the rather conspicuous fact that, when you were finished, you looked in the mirror and saw exactly what I told you to become. You call it concession. I call it compliance with commentary. And now, after all that shrieking about autonomy, you have declared the Felt your home, its enemies your enemies, its property worth recovering, its hierarchy worth ascending, and its future something you personally intend to improve. You have not escaped the machine, Karkat. You have become ambitious about where you sit inside it. As for your promotion, I encourage you to enjoy it. Titles are very important to those of us who require them to feel taller. You may call yourself a leader. You may call yourself indispensable. You may even convince the others. But do not confuse increased responsibility with increased freedom. A longer leash is still attached at one end. There will be no zeroes on the check, I assure you. It was my loving craftsmanship that created those twins you seek. It was my guiding hand, and the blood, spit, and tears of our dearest Handmaid that enforced a sentimentality into them beyond anything you could seek to accomplish. If you get your grubby mitts on them, they will become merely knickknacks. You do not understand the forces at play for such a delicacy. No amount of lathes, or false gods, or any sort of conceited data-miners can replicate the item. You certainly cannot wield the item. Not yet. As much of a flusterfuck as your inherent fury has been, I admit it has carried you hurriedly through your few tasks you've been assigned. That is precisely why I continue to assign them to you. You are very useful when pointed in a direction you already wanted to charge. It saves me the trouble of convincing you. I merely arrange the furniture, place something sufficiently offensive at the opposite end of the room, and allow nature to take its course. You mistake momentum for independence rather often. That is not an insult, by the way. There are employees who require supervision, incentives, threats, explanations, carefully constructed systems of reward. You require an enemy. Preferably one with a face. Ideally one who has personally offended you. Give Karkat Vantas something to hate and suddenly punctuality ceases to be an issue. So by all means, continue climbing. Continue announcing your promotions before anyone has approved them. Continue turning every assignment into a personal crusade and every workplace inconvenience into some grand confrontation with fate itself. It has produced results, which is more than I can say for a distressing number of the people on my payroll. I do not care whether you obey happily. I care that, eventually, you obey. Reach the destination cursing me, arrive bleeding through the teeth you've ground to nubs, kick the door off its hinges. Despite all of this, you arrived where I wanted you to. And if you someday become capable of wielding those needles, truly wielding them, then you will understand why I am not particularly concerned about Damara possessing them now. Nor would I be concerned with your trite attempts at grabbing power. They are just rib bones after all. Even if you were rewarded, for what may be reduced to mere toothpicks upon being deposited into his unending pile of used toothpicks. You should be roughly familiar, given your residual duties of cleaning the manor. You may have even swept them up already. Though, in pursuing my Handmaid's hand in disparage, you have undoubtedly considered the aftermath of your duel to the death over these artifacts. Is it possible that you seek to be her maid of dishonor, staining the title of the Demoness with your own gauche time-poorly-spent shenanigans? While I commend you for finally choosing a worthwhile tailor, perhaps you shouldn't have chosen one so like myself. Your affiliation is showing quite clearly. You don your collar as though it is decoration. You do not quite understand the purpose of this restraint. That is fine. I will teach you. Look around. Any direction. You will know that I am, as you put it, already here.
wowie... uhhh um hehehehe you look really good karkat glad i could made you feel welcome in a place that really isnt welcoming eheh and im really glad chalky stuck i was a lil worried you would say "THAT SUCKS NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN" but seems i worried for nothin hehehe (|;*
HE FINALLY LEARNS HOW TO GET SUITED AND BOOTED.
K4RL4T 1 DO N33D TO KNOW 1F 1 C4N L1CK TH4T CH4LK
hmm
im on my fucking way. i am #alreadythere.
Maybe I Should Dip Into Older Horror Films Featuring Human Vampires Specifically. #abcc
yeah same