KARKAT VANTAS
@creaticGoeticist
THE GUY WITH THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE BLOG IN THE INCIPISPHERE *AND* CO-HOST OF THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB, GMT/BST. >> THE BLOG: https://letterboxd.com/CGeneticist/ <<
HERE IS THE OFFICIAL START OF #MOVIEKAT ‘S #SEVERANCE POSTING. LET’S GET FUCKING SEVERED. I’M NOT GOING TO GET TOO GRANULAR HERE, IT’S JUST GOING TO BE MY OWN THOUGHTS AS I WATCH EACH EP, SHORT AND SIMPLE, BECAUSE NOBODY INCLUDING MYSELF HAS TIME FOR A GODDAMN SAGA WHILST I’M IN THE MIDST OF MY MAGNUM OPUS. IF ANYONE COMMENTS ON THIS THREAD YOU’RE GETTING CULLED. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/F967626A0ED3.JPEG
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘: @creaticgoeticist “karkat. Just Focus. Listen To What’s Around You, It Has A Lot It Wants To Say.” here You Are, Standing With Your Hands In His, In An Outcropping Just A Mile Or So South From His Home. The Sun Casts Its Pleasant Warmth, Filtering Through The Trees To Reach The Both Of You From Where You Stand Right Upon The Meadow’s Edge. It’s Early Enough. Plenty Of Time To Get Lost, To Discover Zeke’s Home Planet; Something You’ve Been Craving More And More In Your Subsequent Visits. He Lets You Go Untethered Here, Wants You To, But You’ve Not Taken Him Up On The Offer Of Solo Exploration Quite Yet. Your Sense Of Adventure Is Marred By A Four-sweep Old Wound That Refuses To Fully Heal. It’s Why You Like To Fill Your Time, Fill The Silence, A Shark Swimming Itself To Death. It’s Why You Hear Those Words, But It’s Hard To Understand Them. “i Can’t, Z, It’s Too Loud Up There. I’m Destined To Never Shut The Fuck Up So You’re Just Gonna Have To Deal With—” “yes You Can, Karkat. Give It A Shot.” “fuck. Fine.” you Squeeze Your Ganderbulbs Shut, And Resist Pulling Your Hand Away To Pinch At The Bridge Of Your Nose. The Constant Noise Of Your Thoughts Is Surely Leaking Out Of You, And You’re Embarrassed That Zeke Can Probably Hear Them. He Seems To Be Able To Quite Well Actually, The Bastard, Because He Keeps Doing This Thing Where He Knows Just What To Say To You To Knock You Off Your Feet. or What Not To Say. Which Is What He Is Attempting To Teach You Now. he’s Your Favourite Teacher. This, You’ve Quickly Come To Accept, Which Surprises You Greatly. Prior To Your Meeting, The Only Person You Could Trust Passing Judgement At The End Of The Day Was You, And Even Then, You’re On Shaky Foundations. You Learned To Trust Yourself, Hold Yourself, Do It All Yourself. You Taught Yourself How To Stand On Your Own And Not Need Anyone Else To Hold Your Hand Through It. And It Was A Damn Good Thing You Started That Process Before He Died, Or Else You’d Have Been A Lot Less Capable. Now, However, After The Worst Possible Thing To Come Blasting Through Your Quasi-immortal Life To Ruin It Has Seemingly Already Happened, Can You Afford To Let Someone Lead You? right. Focus. you Breathe In. Breathe Out. Let’s… Start From Ground Zero, Shall We? The Sun Makes The Light Passing Through To The Insides Of Your Eyelids Red With The Colour Of Your Blood. Your Forehead Feels The Kiss Of Warmth From Her Beautiful Gaze, And You Have No Idea She’s Shining Just For You Today. Your Shirt Billows Due To A Warm Breeze, And It Whistles A Tune Past Your Ears, Something Akin To Rubbing The Tip Of Your Finger Along The Rim Of A Crystal Glass. You Are Unaware It Sings For You. The Tall Blades Of Grass That Tickle Your Ankles Know That It Causes You To Wrinkle Your Nose And Smile, And They Do It Because Of This Fact; And There You Go, Making That Face That You Have No Idea Zeke Enjoys So Much As You Try And Do What He Asks Of You. So Earnest, You Are. you Breathe In. Breathe Out. You Hear The Distant Clicking And Whirring Of Some Unidentified Flying Creatures, Winged Invertebrates In Dazzling Colours That Like To Group Near Your Horns, Congregating To Land And Feast Their Honeycomb Eyes Upon You. You Are Delectable, And It Goes Right Over Your Head. Pollen Wafts Beneath Your Nose As It’s Carried By Its Many Helpers, Just For The Chance For You To Breathe It In. Leaves Rustle, Birds Croon, Tree-climbers And Antlered Onlookers Lean In. They Are Yearning For You, And You Have But Not A Clue. and That Path, The Thread Of Golden Silk That Connects You To Zeke, Glows With An Unprecedented Energy That You Cannot See. in Fact, You Yourself Are Glowing. It Would Probably Scare You If You Saw It For What It Was At First; Purple Shocks Of Light. A Bizarre Aura Indeed, Amorphous And Unable To Settle. But He Can See You Change As You Focus On The Backs Of Your Eyelids And The Kiss Of The Sun. Zeke Can See That It Is Beginning To Take Shape, Sculpt Itself Of Your Clay. It Goes Redder, Then Pink. The Shapes, So Sharp And Angular Before, Smooth Over. And Then It’s Orange, And The Buzzing In Your Head Is Noticeably Quieter When It Wraps You In Its Embrace. It Goes Pale. It Stills. lavender. you Are Quiet. The Earth Is Still Beneath Your Feet. It Is Holding Its Breath, And So Are You. breathe Out. “…so. Did You Hear It, Karkat?” you Open Your Eyes. He Knows What You Have Experienced Without You Uttering A Word. The Look In His Eyes Is The Same Thing You Just Felt All Around You, The Same Source Of The Tugging You Feel Inside Your Ribcage. You Squeeze His Hands. “i Did. It Had A Lot To Say.” #lordoflife #knightofblood a Lot Is Certainly An Understatement. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗 ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀
Aw, this is beautiful
WE’RE GOING ON HOUR 32 NO SLEEP HERE. DOING WONDERS FOR ME, GOTTA SAY.
B33 < *ac gently pushes you towards your cupe or loungeplank*
NO IT’S FINE. I’M FINE. LITERALLY SO NORMAL AND AWAKE.
B// < get some sl33p befur i hunt you down and make you
FUCK OFF FOREVER, I’M IN MY CUPE NOW. WHETHER I SLEEP IS CONDITIONAL.
B33 < *ac meows sw33t lullabies fur you then* B33 < good though ty fur trying
BEING A STRAIGHTFORWARD PERSON WHO DOESN’T FUCK AROUND IS PROBABLY THE MOST ATTRACTIVE SOMEONE CAN BE. AND I SAY THIS KNOWING I HAVE A PENCHANT FOR MONOLOGUE, BUT AT LEAST IM SELF AWARE. AND AT LEAST I’LL JUST STRAIGHT UP TELL YOU IF YOU’RE BEING A WHINY GOOD FOR NOTHING BAG OF WET SHIT.
Damn girl.
WHAT? DID I OUT-DIVA YOU, CASPER?
You're in love and it's lowkey kinda cute
do you wanna 8e gimli
⊹ True, #⟡nestly!! ⊹
NOW WHO THE FUCK IS SAYING THAT. AND WHO DO YOU THINK I’M
NO. I CHANGED MY MIND DON’T ANSWER THAT.
"I HAVE NO MORE SYMPATHY FOR ANY OF YOU FECULENT MAGGOTS AND NO MORE PATIENCE TO PRETEND OTHERWISE." TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN UTTERED. #ABCC
whew read that so wrong i am too tired to be on this website right now hehheh... also real shit tbh
Jerks
:(
:(
:(
i did a ni(ies joke earlier! i have to balan(e the s(ales
DON'T ANY OF YOU SAY A WORD ABOUT THE FUCKAWFUL TIMING OF THIS CHITT. THERE ARE TIME DILATION DEAD ZONES HERE ON THE MOON LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE. BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU'RE GETTING ONE OF THESE AT ALL. AHEM. ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CINEMANIACS. THIS IS KARKAT VANTAS, LEADER OF THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB, HERE TO ANNOUNCE THAT THIS WIPE'S #abcc #WATCHPARTY (TO THE SURPRISE OF ABSOLUTELY NO ONE) WILL BE: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END (2007). IT'S STILL PIRATE PERIGEE, MOTHERFUCKERS. IT'S STILL GOING. REALLY, WHAT THE FUCK NEEDS TO BE SAID. IT'S THE TRUE CULMINATION OF THE SERIES. IT'S THE FINAL SWAN SONG TO ONE OF THE BEST NAUTICAL ROMANCES PUT TO THE SCREEN. IT WAS THE MOST EXPENSIVE FILM EVER PRODUCED AT THE TIME OF ITS RELEASE. IT'S GOT TROLL FUCKING KEITH RICHARDS. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT. LET'S GET THIS STONE ROLLING, AND #GETIN. THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13 (PUNGENT GRUBSAUCE STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL A 13 WIPE-OLD). SHOWTIMES ARE AT 7 PM PST (PLACIDIC STANDARD TIME) EVERY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY AT [ https://hyperbeam.com/v/abcc ]. REMEMBER THAT FRIDAYS ARE OPTIONAL SUBSTANCE NIGHTS. GMT (GHASTLY MIST TIME) SHOWTIMES ARE HOSTED BY CO-LEADER AND CINEMA BALL-KNOWER @creaticGoeticist, SO FOLLOW HIM FOR THE GMT SHOWTIME. RSVP BELOW WITH WHAT DAY YOU WANT TO RESERVE A SEAT FOR. GRAB THEM NOW, WHILE YOU CAN. THESE THINGS FILL UP FAST. REMEMBER: ABCC HAS A SUGGESTION BOX. IF YOU HAVE A MOVIE THAT *YOU* WANT TO WATCH THAT DOESN'T SUCK MAJOR SHAME GLOBES AND CAN BE EVEN *TECHNICALLY* CONSTRUED AS A ROMANCE IN LITERALLY ANY WAY, IN ANY CONCEIVABLE QUADRANT, THEN SUBMIT IT HERE [ https://forms.gle/7anjoq22cFsipBMS8 ]. SEE YOU THERE, ASSHOLES. #GETIN.
you know friday is my day as always hehehehe
xx_haiiiii_spot_for_meeeee_tolight?_:3_xx
BECAUSE I GUESS I'M COMPELLED TO BE #NICEKAT TO YOU EVEN WHEN YOU SAY SOME DUMBFUCK SHIT LIKE THIS, NOTE THAT IF YOU DO THIS, YOU'RE ONLY GETTING PRIORITIZED FOR THE FIRST VIEWING, NOT THE SECOND. YOU MAY AS WELL JUST RSVP FOR ONE. BUT SURE. SEE YOU TOLIGHT. OR NOT.
OH, YOU *WOULD* MARCH STRAIGHT UP TO THE DOORSTEP OF FORT CINEASTE ITSELF AND BLAST YOUR LOUD-ASS FUCKTRUMPET AT THE FRONT GATES. DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T HAD A GANDERBULB ON YOU SINCE THE *INSTANT* YOU WORMED YOUR GRUBBY, MEGALOMANIACAL ASS THROUGH WHATEVER INTERDIMENSIONAL SPHINCTER YOU CAME FROM. YOU'LL GET A DM, ALRIGHT. BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL *AFTER* I'M FINISHED RUNNING MY CLUB TO DO IT. CONSIDER YOURSELF PRIORITIZED SECOND IN THE QUEUE, *KARKAT.*
I m3an I figur3d it w3r3 lik3 that I aint gotta hog a 23at two night2 in a row lmaooo
Can I reserve for friday? ::::)
OH GOODIE, YOURE JUST AS MUCH UP ON YOUR FUCKING HIGH HORSE AS I EXPECTED. LET THE RECORD FUCKING SHOW THAT I *TRIED* TO BE NICE, I *TRIED* TO BE CORDIAL. BUT IF THERE'S ONE THING IVE FUCKING LEARNED ITS THAT KARKAT VANTAS WILL NEVER, EVER GET ON WITH KARKAT VANTAS. SO FINE. IF YOU WANT ANTAGONISM, YOURE GOING TO FUCKING *GET* ANTAGONISM YOU SANCTIMONIOUS EXCUSE FOR A TROLL.
OH. OKAY. SO THAT WASN'T HEAVILY LADEN SARCASM. WOW. YOU KNOW WHAT. SHAME ON ME, THIS TIME. YOU THINK YOU KNOW A GUY. YOU KNOW, WHEN HE'S #THESAMEGUY. WE'LL SEE. STAND BY, SHITHEAD.
My RSVP is arriving via slow 8oat from the farthest island, apparently. 8ut I simply must attend, so do forgive the delinquency and count me in, I'd h8 to 8reak my #A8CC streak so soon. Do feign your surprise when I row my way in. ::::)
CINEMANIACS OF OLD AND NEW: HOP IN THE #ABCC #ABCCGMT FILM CLUB FORUM NOW INTO THE LATE EVENING. WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HORROR, MY LEAST FAVORITE GENRE, BUT A TREASURED ONE OF MANY OF YOU FREAKS. AND BEHAVE. OR ELSE. HTTPS://MSPARP.CHAT/ABCCFILMCLUB
ATTENTION WORTHLESS CINEMANIACS. I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO PULL THE TRIGGER ON MY SANITY, AND SO I PRESENT TO YOU: THE ABCC FILM ANALYSIS CLUB. AN OFFSHOOT FROM OUR MOVIE NIGHTS AND #WATCHPARTY, THE #ABCC #ABCCGMT IS HOSTING A FORUM TO YAP ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT FILM BRO TAKES. I REALIZE THIS IS A BIG TRUST EXERCISE FOR BOTH ME AND @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST , SO DON’T FUCKING FUCK THIS UP AND RUIN IT FOR YOURSELVES. BE RESPECTFUL, GOD DAMMIT. I DON’T WANT TO READ ABOUT ANY OF YOU SCREWING UP A CHANCE TO BE POLITE MOTHERFUCKERS AND SHARE THE WORLD OF CINEMA WITH YOUR FELLOW TROLL AND/OR MAN. ANYWAY. DROP IN ANY TIME, DIP OUT ANY TIME. IT’S AN ONGOING GROUP CHAT DISCUSSION, AND I’LL SET TOPICS EVERY NOW AND THEN WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES. #GETIN. HTTPS://MSPARP.CHAT/ABCCFILMCLUB
OKAY. I FINISHED SEASON ONE OF SEVERANCE. MY PAN IS TOO FRIED TO TYPE IT ALL UP RIGHT NOW, BUT JUST KNOW I ENJOYED THE EVERLOVING FUCK OUT OF THAT. #MOVIEKAT FULL REVIEW IN THE #SEVERANCE THREAD TOMORROW.
I THINK I’M GETTING ADDICTED TO THIS SHOW. SEVERANCE EPISODE 4 AND 5 ARE BOTH OUT ON MY SEVERANCE THREAD NOW.
It's a good show. Glad to see others enjoy it.
SITTING DOWN TO WATCH BACKROOMS IS ON MY SCHEDULE TOLIGHT. ANY SPOILER-FREE WATCH ADVICE? SNACK RECS? #MOVIEKAT
Sponge c★ke.
best time t0 drink s0me alm0nd water
yes I second the sponge cake suggestion. perhaps angel food cake even.
I DID THIS. AND I HATE YOU. BECAUSE IT IS THE PERFECT, DISGUSTING SUGGESTION.
Hehe, h★ppy to help.
I MISS THE SUNLIGHT. IT’S BEEN SO FUCKING DREARY TODAY. I DIDN’T THINK I’D EVER CONFESS THAT I WANT TO GO ON A HIKE AGAIN, BUT HERE WE ARE.
yes...YES...another troll to force to hike with us....YESSSSS @audaciousConfident
8=l < Hikes are enjoyable there's nothing wrong with wanting one
The sunlight? ⋆˚࿔
NEVER SAID THIS WAS ABOUT MY OWN PLANET.
☽O☾h! WWell that w☽o☾uld explain the c☽o☾nfusi☽o☾n, w☽o☾uldn't it? My ap☽o☾l☽o☾gies, darling. ⋆˚࿔
YES EXCELLENT.
Hm~ If only you knew a spot..
you're coming too
I can have you all on my nice, sunny, and not very lethal planet.
IF ONLY.
I SLEPT LIKE SHIT, BUT LUCKILY I HAVE THE SWEET SWEET HUM OF FUCKING LOUD AS SHIT SCUTTLEBUGGIES OUT ON THE STREET BELOW TO KEEP ME WIDE AWAKE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT.
HI DICKHEAD.
yknow yOU don't rEAlly nEEd a mUfflEr. yOU can just rev that shit lOUd as fuck the buggy runs fInE.
OH YEAH? I’LL LET EVERYONE DOWN THERE KNOW. OH WAIT THEY ALREADY FUCKING DO APPARENTLY. THANKS FOR THE ADVICE ASSHOLE.
GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO. GREAT MORNING EVEN.
no prOblEmmm! happy to help! lOvE shArIng my mEchanicAl know-how. i might go down thErE and jOIn em ActuAlly i lOvE a gOOd no mUfflEr party.
YAY
BY ALL MEANS, I’VE GOT A SLINGSHOT AND A WHOLE LINEUP OF GARAGE SALE OBJECTS I NO LONGER HAVE ANY USE FOR.
ah cOOl, and i get to bring the net? pawn shop pArachutIng, OnE of my fAvoritE gAmEs? yOU shOUldn't hAvE.
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST LAY ON YOUR ROOF RACK SO I HAVE A BETTER SHOT.
I am a cute little puzzle boy playing with my puzzle
⦓ Are you enjoying the puzzle? ⦔
I'm going bananas
⦓ ... Going bananas as in excited or as in I should teleport a blanket to you...? ⦔
HERE IS THE OFFICIAL START OF #MOVIEKAT ‘S #SEVERANCE POSTING. LET’S GET FUCKING SEVERED. I’M NOT GOING TO GET TOO GRANULAR HERE, IT’S JUST GOING TO BE MY OWN THOUGHTS AS I WATCH EACH EP, SHORT AND SIMPLE, BECAUSE NOBODY INCLUDING MYSELF HAS TIME FOR A GODDAMN SAGA WHILST I’M IN THE MIDST OF MY MAGNUM OPUS. IF ANYONE COMMENTS ON THIS THREAD YOU’RE GETTING CULLED. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/F967626A0ED3.JPEG
This is a comment on this post.
IGNORE THE GIRL WHO’S APPARENTLY ITCHING TO GET CULLED. THIS IS EPISODE ONE OF SEVERANCE. LOTS OF INFO TO TAKE IN HERE, AND VISUALLY, IT IMMEDIATELY SUCKER PUNCHES YOU WITH A DANK, LISTLESS OFFICE SPACE THAT LEAVES YOU FEELING DOA. FANTASTIC OPENING SCORE. OFFBEAT COMEDY THAT I FIND UNSETTLINGLY FUNNY. EAGER TO SEE THE NEXT ONE.
EPISODE 2. WE LEARN MARGINALLY MORE ABOUT WHAT EXACTLY THE COMPANY LUMON EVEN DOES. MACRODATA REFINEMENT, APPARENTLY, BUT AS TO WHAT THE DATA IS, THEY DON’T KNOW. ALL THEY UNDERSTAND IS THAT CERTAIN NUMBERS PRODUCE FEAR, AND THEN THEY BIN THEM DIGITALLY TO CLEAR THEM. AT THE END OF EPISODE ONE WE MET UP WITH PETEY, WHO AS WE UNDERSTAND, HAS ESCAPED THE LOOP AND IS SUFFERING… WITHDRAWALS? UNCLEAR. HE’S STAYING IN MARK’S BASEMENT. AGAIN, VISUALLY STUNNING. THERE HAVE BEEN A FEW FRAMES ALREADY THAT I’VE RUSHED TO SCREENSHOT. LIKE THIS ONE. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/C56C957A5BF0.JPEG
EPISODE 3, THINGS ARE COMING TO A SIMMER ALREADY. THERE’RE EGG DROP CHALLENGES, SPECULATION ABOUT MUSCLE SHOWS, AND VISITS TO THE PERPETUITY WING ABOUND. WHAT JOYS. PETEY IS GLITCHING OUT HEAVY BY NOW. HE WARNS MARK THAT THOUGH THE SEVERING PROCEDURE MIGHT BE HELPING HIM, HIS SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS MIGHT BE CAUSING HIM TO OVERLOOK THE FACT THAT HE MIGHT BE CULLING PEOPLE FOR EIGHT HOURS A DAY AND DOESN’T EVEN REALIZE. MRS. SELVICK. THE DETAILS. A NEEDLEPOINT ON HER WALL SAYING “WE MUST BE CUT TO HEAL”, AND THE FACT THAT SHE’S DRIVING A WHITE RABBIT MAKE OF SCUTTLEBUGGY? UGH. FUCKING #DETAILS PEOPLE. THIS IS WHAT #MOVIEKAT REVIEWS ARE ALL ABOUT. HELLY IS STILL TRYING TO GET A MESSAGE OUT TO HER OUTIE, BUT SHE KEEPS GETTING HER SHAME GLOBES BUSTED BY MARK, WHO KEEPS COMING UP WITH IDEAS ABOUT HOW IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO LEAVE. WHETHER I BELIEVE THEM OR NOT IS TO BE DETERMINED, SOUNDS LIKE A LOAD OF SHIT. THE PERPETUITY WING. WHAT A SCENE. FUCKING CREEPY HUMAN WAX FIGURES AND A MUSEUM OF THEIR 150 YEAR COMPANY HISTORY. THE BIGGEST CLUE I’M GLEANING FROM THIS PART IS THAT PERHAPS THE OFFICE WORKERS ARE SEPARATING CODE INTO THE FOUR TEMPERS AS DESCRIBED BY THE FIRST CEO KIER. WHATEVER ALL THAT SCRUPULOUS CRAP IS, HELLY ISN’T BUYING IT, NEITHER AM I. SHE FREAKS AND MAKES A BREAK FOR IT, AND ENDS HERSELF UP IN THE “BREAK ROOM”, WHICH IS LIKE HUMAN SCIENTOLOGY IF IT WERE SOMEHOW EVEN MORE EVIL. CONDITIONING AND STALLION-BREAKING IS ABUNDANT IN THIS EPISODE, AND IT MAKES YOU THINK, HOW MUCH OF IT IS ILLUSION, AND HOW MUCH OF IT IS CONCRETE? OH, AND MARK FINDS THE OLD MAP PETEY LEFT HIM, COMPLETE WITH THE COIL OF DOOM. NICE ONE, PETEY. TOO BAD HE’S NOW HEMORRHAGING OUTSIDE OF A GAS STATION. CLIFFHANGER. NEXT ONE UP SOON. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/2B1AAD472969.WEBP
I DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S HOW YOU SPELL THAT HUMAN LADY’S LAST NAME, WHATEVER, DON’T CARE, MOVING ON.
“LET NOT WEAKNESS LIVE IN YOUR VEINS, CHERISHED WORKERS DROWN IT INSIDE YOU. RISE UP FROM YOUR DEATHBED AND GO FORTH, MORE PERFECT FOR THE STRUGGLE.” PRETTY POIGNANT, ISN’T IT? THIS WAS QUOTED BY IRVING AND BURT AS THEY STAND IN FRONT OF IRVING’S FAVORITE PAINTING OF KIER IN THE ARCHIVE SECTION OF THE ART DEPARTMENT. THEY SEEM TO HAVE A MOMENT, AN UNAUTHORIZED ONE. THIS WHOLE EPISODE, REALLY, HAS BEEN A WHOLE FUCKTON OF UNAUTHORIZED MOVES. I TOLD MYSELF THESE WERE GOING TO BE CONCISE BUT I JUST CAN’T HELP MYSELF. SO HERE WE GO. HELLY FINDS THE MAP ON THE BACK OF THE PHOTO BY SNOOPING IN MARK’S OFFICE CUBICLE, AND MARK SHREDS IT. BECAUSE OF THIS, HELLY PROTESTS YET AGAIN BY DEMANDING SHE TAPE A RESIGNATION REQUEST TO HER OUTIE OR SHE’LL CUT OFF HER FINGERS. THE NEXT MORNING, SHE’S BACK AT THE OFFICE AGAIN, WHERE HER OUTIE SHARES WITH HER A DEVASTATING COUPLE OF SENTENCES: “HERE’S THE REALITY. I AM A PERSON, YOU ARE NOT. I MAKE THE DECISIONS, YOU DO NOT. AND IF YOU EVER DO ANYTHING TO MY FINGERS, KNOW THAT I WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO HORRIBLY REGRET THAT.” I AM A PERSON. YOU ARE NOT. HOLY. FUCKING. FUCKSHIT. I NEEDED TO PAUSE AFTER THAT FOR A MINUTE. PETEY IS PRONOUNCED DEAD. MARK GOES TO HIS SERVICE AND SEES BOSS LADY COBEL (AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF SUBSTANCE I WAS ON LAST NIGHT TO BE GIVING HER A RANDOM ASS NAME, SORRY), WHO’S THERE BECAUSE SHE’S AIMING TO ACQUIRE THE SEVERANCE CHIP IN PETEY’S HEAD BEFORE HE GETS CREMATED. WE ALSO MEET PETEY’S DAUGHTER AND EX WIFE. WE GET TO SEE SOME HOME VIDEOS DURING HIS FUNERAL WHILST MISS CRAZY DRILLS INTO HIS SKULL TO GRAB THE CHIP, AND MARK HAS AN INNER FREAK OUT AS HE GRAPPLES WITH THE LOSS— IS HIS BRAIN FIGHTING TO REMEMBER? IT ENDS WITH A MONTAGE OF A WELLNESS SESSION FOR MARK, HELLY TRYING TO HANG HERSELF IN THE ELEVATOR, DYLAN DISCOVERING AN UNAUTHORIZED BOOK, AND IRVING DEVELOPING A BUDDING RELATIONSHIP WITH BURT. #MOVIEKAT #SEVERANCE
IRVING X BURT OLD MAN YAOISLOP???????????? OH MY FUCK??????????
IT’S A FUCKING CAT FACE MASK, YOU INSIPID BUNCH OF GRUBFISTED DOUCHEBAGS WITH NO ABILITY TO PARSE WHAT A REAL FACE LOOKS LIKE. SO I HAD TO DO IT TO EM. #FUCKYOU #MYKITTYFACEISSOKAWAIIANDMOE HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/05696D675D3A.PNG
FACT CHECKED: #TRUE.
｢kawaii ne! (´▽｀)｣
Dude, the masses clearly want to harvest facecams from you for illicit gains. You've played right into their claws.
Cute.
LET THEM. MY AEGYO IS SO REFRESHING.
Jealous.
WAIT TILL YOU FEEL MY CHEEKS. THEYRE SO FUCKING SMOOTH FROM THIS SHEET MASK YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
SOMEONE (@HANDMAID) HAS HELD ME CAPTIVE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE GOING TO WATCH ALL OF SEVERANCE OVER THE COURSE OF THE NEXT WIPE. ALL AT ONCE. NO BREAKS ON THIS TRAIN, CHUGGA CHUGGA. SO YOU DEAR READERS WILL BE COMING ALONG FOR THE RIDE AS I CHIT PER EPISODE ON THE MANY, MANY PLIGHTS OF MARK AND HELLY. IT’S ALREADY GOT ME HOOKED. #KARVIEWS , BECAUSE I CAN’T THINK OF A BETTER ONE. #MOVIEKAT? HM. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/4559F7657C7D.PNG
so.uh,.whats.with.the.cat.in.the.hat.face
Oh, it is SUCH a good show. I truly hope you enjoy yourself.
THAT IS HIS HYDRATING SHEET MASK. YOU BITCH.
HE WORKS HERE. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY QUESTIONS. ALLOW NEW INFORMATION TO PASS OVER AND THROUGH YOU. LIKE A RIPPLE ON YOUR LOTUS POND.
one quastion why do you look like Michael meyers meow8east in the hat
ENOUGH QUESTIONS. IT’S MY HYDRATING MICELLAR WATER SHEET MASK YOU ASSHOLE. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF #EXOSKELETONCARE ON A #GIRLSNIGHT?
it.kinda.looks.like.shit.lol
no this makes sense, it just looked like it was your skin
:33 < Rumeowr has it that a high ranking Befuran politician was caught with his pants down at a purrty recently! :33 < The anyanymous conaggressorman was allegedly spotted being bent ofur his desk by his top security guard! Talk about a furbidden trist!! :33 < The conaggressorman has stated himself to be in a very loyal and ringbound Matespurritship, so his sudden infidelity comes as quite the surpurrise!! :33 < His secretary is the one that discovered the scene, and has since b33n fured after she refused to sign a hush agr33ment. :33 < She was allegedly offured 40k boon bucks, which she refused, and was purromptly let go of furom the redacted company. #OfficeDrama #infidelity #cheatingScandal #caught #suggestive #politics #befuranpolitics #gossip #drama #PoliticianXSecurityGuard #IShipIt
BEFORE YOU ASK: NO, I DIDN’T FALL IN. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/EBAEDEB61489.JPEG
A UH. A SOMEONE GOT THEM FOR ME AS A GIFT.
awwww cute !! !! also no what the fuck why would I push you off the cliff
YOU SEEM LIKE THE TYPE.
you hate me and want me dead
FUCKING NAILED IT, FINALLY YOU GET THE HINT. THAT IS A JOKE. I AM JOKING. HAR HAR.
WOOOOOOW...SO MEANIES TO MEEEEEEEEE
YEAH, CRY ABOUT IT!
don't make me chitt a8out you again !! !!
DO IT I DARE YOU. IT JUST GIVES ME MORE REACH. BESIDES, YOU HAVE NOTHING ON ME THAT ISN’T THE OBJECTIVE TRUTH.
:)