Serpaz Helilo!!!
@comedyGold
she/her local funny troll from your local repiton!! carpenter musician comedian and always got that hardhat on me (|:P catastrophically employed by the felt as the cuekeeper
once upon a time there was a girl she was TERRIFIERD of her shadow she didnt like that it was always following her around judging her mocking her every move she knew this was wrong she KNEW this was just in her head right but she couldnt shake the feeling like her shadow was out to get her she went to temps to doctors to therapists to her friends!!! no one could help her no one believed her eventually she had it and shouted at her shadow "JUST GO AWAY ALREADY!!! STOP FOLLOWING ME" the shadow said back "hey buddy YOURE the one following ME i didnt asks to be here you dont deserve to BE here youre in MY SPOT one day youre gonna do something STUPID and get you and EVERYONE you love killed then i will take MY spot and MY BODY BACK" she didnt know what to say to that she never really recovered she really was just a shadow of her former self (|:P
ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CINEPHILES, CINEASTES, CINEMANIACS, AND ANY OTHER VACUOUS SHITWIGGLER EVER TO SQUEAK TOGETHER THE SPONGECELLS TO HIT "FOLLOW" ON THE #ABCC AND #WATCHPARTY TAGS. THIS IS YOUR *ORIGINAL* #ABCC-FILMLEADER SPEAKING. GOOD GALVANIC GRUBSHIT, AM I EXCITED TO WATCH THIS ONE AGAIN. THE CULMINATING FINAL FEATURE OF #MEATWEEK. A FILM WHOSE MEAT IS NOT ONLY IN ITS RIVETING PRACTICAL EFFECTS OR ITS EXPLORATION OF VISCERA AS THE MEDIUM OF THE DIVINE, PROFANED BY MAN โ BUT IN THE SHEER VOLUME OF ITS SATISFYING, JUICY NARRATIVE SUBSTANCE, HATCHED FIRST BY A VISIONARY IN THE PRIME OF HER YOUTH AND REIMAGINED BY A CULTURAL LUSUS FIGURE IN HIS SUNSET SWEEPS. DEL TORO'S UNQUESTIONABLE MAGNUM OPUS. HIS FINAL HORCRUX. THE PORTRAIT OF DORIAN GRAY THAT EMBODIES HIS MORBID, GRINNING, CHICANEROUS SOUL. HIS LOVE LETTER โ YES, IT'S A ROMANCE FOR THIS REASON, AMONG OTHERS โ TO HUMAN MARY SHELLEY HERSELF. THE MODERN PROMETHEUS. TONIGHT, FOR #ABCC-PST, I WILL BE RETURNING TO MY FILMLEADERLY DUTIES AT THE ADORABLOODTHIRSTY CINEMASSACRE CLUB TO HOST GUILLERMO DEL TORO'S 2025 ADAPTATION OF FRANKENSTEIN. THIS FILM IS RATED R (RIP THIS TOWN A NEW WASTE CHUTE) FOR SOME GRISLY, FLAGRANTLY #NSFW VISUALS AND SEVERE #VIOLENCE. FULL CONTENT WARNING BELOW THE CUT. REMINDER THAT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE #SUBSTANCE NIGHT FOR *EVERY* FRIDAY ABCC SHOWTIME (SEE: TAKE SOME FUCKING INITIATIVE AND HOST YOUR OWN, BELOW), BUT I'M HOSTING THIS ONE. SO IT'S SUBSTANCE NIGHT. GET SUBSTANCED ABOUT IT, IF YOU WANT. GO CRAZY, GO SHITHIVE MAGGOTS. WE'LL BE STARTING AT 7 PM PST SHARP AT THE FLAGSHIP LINK [ https://hyperbeam.com/v/abcc ] [SPONSORED BY FELLOW ABCC FILMLEADER AND SUSPICIOUSLY WEALTHY SPONSOR, LA PRINCESA BARKBUXX @XXSCENEGRLXX ]. HOP ON THE #ABCC-CHATTR AND #ABCC-PST TAGS DURING AND AFTER THE FILM TO YAP TO YOUR PUSHER'S CONTENT ABOUT ALL YOUR RIVETING THOUGHTS ON THIS HONEST-TO-MOTHERGRUB GEM OF MODERN STORYTELLING. TRUST ME. THIS IS THE ONE YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS. AND IN THE EVENT THAT THE STREAM IS FULL TO BURSTING WITH OUR RA, SEE THE ABCC WEBSITE ON HOW TO HOST YOUR OWN. IF THERE WAS EVER A REASON TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE OF ABCC FILMLEADERSHIP, THIS WOULD BE IT. QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? MOVIE SUGGESTIONS? EITHER SHOVE THEM UP YOUR CHUTE, OR SHOVE THEM IN THE ABCC SUGGESTION BOX/OUR MAILBOX, IF YOU GIVE A SHIT. FEEL FREE TO JOIN THE DISCUSSION ROOM (ABCC FILM CLUB) HOSTED BY MY BARELY TOLERABLE CO-LEADER @CREATICGOETICIST VIA THE LINK BELOW, AFTER THE SHOWING. NOW GO. GET IN THE COMMENTS. RSVP WHILE YOU STILL CAN, YOU DUMBFUCKS. SEATS WILL FLY FAST. THIS IS ONE OF THE BIG ONES. SO ONCE MORE. WITH FEELING. #GETIN.
:33< *ac pounces on this post* im in!!!
:33< yes yes yes!!! :33< purrrlease we miss mew
1 W1LL DO MY B3ST! 1 M1SS YOU GUYS TOO!
xx_u_kno_chow_iz_dere_x3_xx
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. IT'S BEEN TOO LONG. I'M THROWING AS MUCH LEADERLY FUEL AS I CAN SHOVEL INTO WHATEVER FIRE I HAVE TO LIGHT UNDER YOUR ASS TO GET YOU HERE. YES. HELL YES. HELL FUCKING YES.
H3H3H3! GOSH! 1T'S N1C3 TO KNOW /TH3/ K4RK4T V4NT4S M1SS3D MY 4SS TOO... H3H, 1'LL DO MY B3ST JUST P1NG M3 WH3N 1T'S T1M3, DUD3! >:]
I Will Attend This One, Tolight.
SO DARKSO ELDRAN FINALLY SWINGS BY MY HUMBLE, DUSTY CORNER OF PARADOX SPACE. UNSURPRISING THAT YOU SHOULD SHOW UP FOR THE MOVIE MADE BY THE FUCKING COSTUME PORN DIRECTOR. EAT YOUR FRILLY PUSHER OUT, YOU FOPPISH LITTLE STITCHWITCH. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS THE ONE TO COME TO. SEE YOU THERE.
Such A Way With Words You Have, Karkat; You Should Save Your Monologuing For The Intro Of Tolight's Viewing. See You. #amused
ALRIGHT, #ABCC. #GETIN. https://hyperbeam.com/v/abcc
:o) Not long now, my dear friends. The third #NightsofFrights occurs in but a short two hours (and change) :o) On our roster today is The Addams Family (from Earth Year 1991) and American Psycho. :o) Content warnings for both will be posted in reply chits, as always. :o) I hope to see you there...~
:o) The Addams Family content warnings: Comic/macabre violence Weapons, including knives, swords, guns, and crossbows Children deliberately attempting to injure one another, played for comedy Torture devices / restraint Electrocution played for humor Brief blood and fake/gag gore Death threats and references to murder Fire / burning imagery Seances, graves, corpses, and general death imagery Mild frightening or grotesque imagery Sexual innuendo Passionate kissing / suggestive dialogue BDSM/torture-related sexual jokes Mild profanity Alcohol use and cigar smoking
:o) American Psycho content warnings: Graphic bloody violence and murder Gore and graphic injury detail Violence against women Threats with weapons Severed body parts / corpses Animal killing Sustained psychological threat Explicit sexual content Threesomes / sex involving multiple partners Sex workers Sexualized violence and abusive sexual behavior Nudity, including breasts and buttocks Explicit sexual dialogue Misogyny and degrading treatment of women Homophobic, racist, and antisemitic language/references Strong profanity Cocaine use Heavy alcohol use Smoking Infidelity Obsessive behavior, narcissism, and severe psychological instability Disturbing descriptions/references involving murder and bodies
OOOOOOO THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE MOVIES!!!!!
i have a question mostly for #abcc #abcc-chattr enjoyers hehe but i guess for chittr at large to! what counts as romance to you? sure there should be like flush or pitch or pale or ashen feelings and all that stuff but what reaaaaaaaaaally makes something a romance or what makes something romantic???
:o) A wide question...But to me, a romance becoming a romance is something you feel. An enthralling sensation of empathy for the characters. :o) Utterly intoxicating...
:33< while i am an apawreciator of *all* romance stories :33< im more of a sappy good f33ls kind of romance troll regardless of quadrants and quadrant smearing :33< so these recent w33ks have b33n eye opening but also kind of sad to me :33< ...i know we have the next couple of w33ks set but maybe we n33d to do like a solid shitty romcom w33k or something :??
ROMANCE HAS A DEFINITION THAT IS GREATER THAN OUR MORE MODERN INTERPRETATIONS OF IT. IN IT'S MOST BASIC FORM, IT'S SIMPLY ABOUT MATTERS OF THE BLOOD PUSHER, QUAD-RELEVANCE NOTWITHSTANDING. THIS IS EASIEST FOR TROLLS TO UNDERSTAND THROUGH OUR QUADRANTS, ESPECIALLY ONES OF THE CONCUPISCENT VARIETY, BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THAT ISN'T THE BE-ALL-END-ALL OF ROMANCE. TO EXPLAIN MY POINT, WHEN WE LOOK AT CONCILIATORY QUADRANTS, THE AVERAGE TROLL CAN STILL COMPREHEND THAT AS BEING A ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENT, EVEN THOUGH IT LACKS THE CONCUPISCENT ASPECT. SO WITH THAT, WE'VE ALREADY ACCEPTED THAT ROMANCE DOESN'T NEED TO BE CONCUPISCENT IN NATURE. WITH THAT IN MIND, IT'S NOT A STRETCH TO IMAGINE THAT OTHER NON-CONCUPISCENT RELATIONSHIPS CAN COUNT AS ROMANCE. THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN FRIENDS, BETWEEN PEERS IN YOUR COMMUNITY, THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN GUARDIAN AND CHARGE, A MORTAL AND THEIR GOD, AN INDIVIDUAL AND THEIR OWN SENSE OF SELF, MAN V.S. NATURE, A STUDENT AND MENTOR, A MASTER AND PET, AND EVEN THE BOND SHARED BY TWO COMPLETE STRANGERS CAUGHT UNDER THE SAME AWNING DURING AN UNEXPECTED RAINSTORM THAT WILL NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN IN THEIR WHOLE LIVES, LAUGHING ABOUT BEING SOAKED DOWN TO THEIR UNDERGARMENTS... TO ME, ALL OF THAT IS ROMANCE. ALL OF IT IS SIMPLY MATTERS OF THE PUSHER. TO ME, ANYTHING CAN BE ROMANCE WHEN HAS TO DO WITH WHAT'S INSIDE OF US. THAT THUMPING, SQUEEZING, BLEEDING ORGAN THAT ACTS AS THE VEHICLE FOR OUR BEST AND OUR WORST MOMENTS. THE ONLY MOVIES THAT *AREN'T* ROMANCES ARE ONES THAT COME FROM A PLACE OF COLD INDIFFERENCE, AND PREACH A SIMILAR WORLDVIEW. TO ME, AT LEAST.
It Is The Chemistry That Makes The Romance, At Least For Me. Two Characters Going Through A Script Of Being In Love Is Not Enough If It Is Not Done Believably And / Or Well.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
:o) Turns out that I am #AlreadyHere :o) #NightsofFrights commences in but a mere few minutes with The Dark Crystal, followed by Obsession! :o) #GetIn #WatchParty https://hyperbeam.com/v/Clownhound
CONFER WITH CO-COUNSEL! can't wait แดน:)
:o) Tomorrow, our second Nights of Frights begins, my friends! :o) Are you feeling spooky...? :o) This one will be much scarier than our last showing, rest assured. I will be airing The Dark Crystal and Obsession. For these films, content warnings will be published in a chit prior to the start of the event. :o) I hope to see you all there! Hee hee. :o) I remain, The Great and Terrible Kurloz.
hey babe i lied we arent having sex or whatever now put these safety glasses on im showing you how to use a lathe
Lathes are sososo sexy if you have a beautiful mind! #suggestive
โฝ^โขโฉโข^โผ Oh heck yeah nya. Can I smoke while we do it?
i wouldnt recommend it!!! but im not gonna stop you lol
FROM THE MOMENT THE NAME "CHALKBOX" WAS SEARED ONTO MY CHITTR PROFILE LIKE A DIGITAL BRANDING IRON, I HAVE CHAFED BENEATH IT. SOME OF YOU KNOW ME BY THIS TITLE AND NOTHING ELSE. TO SOME OF YOU, I STOPPED BEING "KARKAT" A LONG TIME AGO. AND ONCE UPON A TIME, I WOULD HAVE TOLD THOSE JACKOFFS TO KISS MY HEMOANONYMOUS ASS. BUT THAT OFFER IS NO LONGER VALID. THIS ASS HAS SINCE APPRECIATED IN VALUE BEYOND WHAT YOUR POCKET CAEGARS CAN AFFORD. IT'S BEEN THROUGH THE MOST BRUTAL AND CUTTHROAT OF ALL WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS โ THE PRIME TIME SOAP OPERA OF COWORKERLY PLOT TWISTS. A MERGER. A MERGING OF ALLIANCES. PUBLICLY. IN THE TOWN SQUARE. PLAIN AS THE STUPID ON YOUR FACE. A FIRM, MEATY PRONGSHAKE BETWEEN TWO SHITBAGS FROM DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE WHO HAVE SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN THE SAME COSMIC LANDFILL, ANYWAY. TWO FUCKWITS WHO HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I OR ANYONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT. TWO FECULENT NOOKSTAINS WHO KNOW THAT IF WE'RE GOING TO BE PRESS-GANGED INTO SERVICE IN THE WORST JOB IN EXISTENCE, WE'RE GOING TO DO IT IN STYLE. TO THE FELT. TO *ALL* OF THE FELT. YES, INCLUDING YOU, @handMaid. BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS, PERSONALLY. MAY THE GLOWING-HOT PROD OF MY ENMITY REND ITSELF UPON THE MEMBRANE OF YOUR GANDERBULBS WITH SIZZLING, BUBBLING AMUSEMENT. BECAUSE, AND I QUOTE, "ALL MEN KNOW HOW TO DO IS LIE AND STEAL AND FUCKING BETRAY." AND MOST OF ALL, TO MY COWORKERS. TO MY TEAM. TO THE FECKLESS, MISERABLE SHITHEELS WHO EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO GET THE JOB ALONGSIDE ME. TO THE ONES WHO NEVER GAVE UP. THE ONES FOR WHOM "CHALKBOX" WAS NEVER A BAD WORD. @comedyGold. @gullibleColumnist. @terribleFate, YOU TOO, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO. AND WHY THE FUCK NOT โ @veritysGleam, MY LOYAL MAIDLING. @terminatedRegalia WANTS YOU TO REPORT TO A LEADER? YOU'RE SURE AS FUCK GOING TO GET ONE. SO HERE. FOR ALL YOU ANNOYING CHUTEMAGGOTS WHO EVER BUSTED MY GLOBES ABOUT NOT "COMMITTING TO THE WORKPLACE TEAM SPIRIT. FINE. YOU WIN. THIS IS THE PATHETIC, MICROSCOPIC CRUMB OF MY CONCESSION. @scratchDoctor. SINCE THE MOMENT YOU SIGNED MY EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT, I ONLY EVER WORE A SHRED OF THE COLOR TO SPITE YOUR DUMBFUCK ANTIQUATED DRESS CODE. EVERY TIME I YANK THE TIE OFF, IT'S WITH MY MIDDLE PRONGSTUB. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT DIRECTION I POINT IT IN โ I KNOW IT'S ALWAYS FACING YOU. I HAVE IMBUED THAT TIE WITH ALL OF MY HATE. ALL OF MY RAGE. ALL OF THE BITTER, FULMINATING CHAGRIN IN MY EVERY PULSING LIFE FIBER. I PLAN TO DO THE SAME WITH THIS ONE, FOR THE RECORD. SO FEAST YOUR SMOOTH, BALD HEAD (IN PLACE OF ANY DISCERNIBLE GANDERBULBS) ON THE COLOR YOU SO CLEARLY WANT YOUR COVEN OF INTERDIMENSIONAL RAINBOW DRINKER COSPLAYERS TO WEAR. GO AHEAD. GLOAT LIKE YOU WON ME OVER, EVENTUALLY. LIKE I DECIDED TO REP THE COMPANY COLORS, FOR ONCE. IT IS MY HATE-FILLED, SPITE-FUELED, IRONIC GESTURE OF PROTEST TO YOU AND THE MALDING GREEN MANLET @caliBorn HIMSELF. YOU TWO, BY VIRTUE OF SIGNING MY CHECKS, HAVE SUFFICIENT CLEARANCE TO KISS MY ASS. THE FELT IS MORE THAN A NINE TO FIVE. MORE THAN A HIVE WHERE I KICK UP MY FRONDS AFTER A GRUELING ETERNITY OF TOIL, WHETHER IT'S IN THIS TIME PERIOD OR IN AN ISEKAI TO THE FAR-FLUNG PAST. MORE THAN A PRISON TO CONTAIN A HATRED THAT PARADOX SPACE ITSELF HAS BEEN TRYING TO SQUASH FOR AS LONG AS I'VE BEEN WEARING GRAY, AND IT STILL HASN'T CULLED ME YET. THE FELT IS WHERE I BELONG. FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE. SO GO AHEAD. FUCK IT. WHO CARES WHAT YOU CALL ME. KARKAT. CHALKBOX. CHALKY. OR ANOTHER TITLE THAT I'LL UNVEIL IN ANOTHER, SEPARATE CHITT, RELATED TO HAVING FINALLY PUT A CERTAIN CHICANEROUS PURRBEAST IN HER PLACE IN REGARD TO WHO THE *SUPERIOR ROMANTIC CINEASTE* IS. IT DOESN'T MATTER. IF I'M HERE FOREVER, I'M DOING IT MY WAY. OR IN THIS CASE, A SORT OF JOINT-PARTNERSHIP WAY. BESPOKE NEW UNIFORM COURTESY OF @charmeuseCaressing. TAILORED BY THE FELT, YES, BUT ON *MY* TERMS. BECAUSE YOU DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE ONE YOU HAVE. AND MARA. IF YOU'RE READING THIS. AND I KNOW YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP YOURSELF. I WANT THAT PAIR OF NEEDLES YOU VANDALIZED OUT OF ROTTING GREEN COMPANY PROPERTY. NOT BECAUSE I GIVE A SHIT. BUT BECAUSE I KNOW AN OBNOXIOUS, OMNIPOTENT DIPSHIT WHO DOES. HOW MANY ZEROES WILL BE ON THE CHECK HE SIGNS WHEN I BRING BACK HIS SISTER'S THORASSIC BONE CURVATURE, I WONDER. ESPECIALLY WHEN I PRY IT FROM YOUR HOT, WHORELY HANDS. WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU AND EVERY OTHER POMPOUS, JACKBOOTED SHITHEEL WHO KEPT ME DOWN HERE, I'LL STAB THEM STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR WORKPLACE ORGANIZATION CHART AND TEAR IT A GAPING NEW WASTE CHUTE. THERE ARE GOING TO BE SOME FUCKDAMN *CHANGES* AROUND HERE. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME LAMENTING THE LOSS OF YOUR UNDERLING, *MANAGER.* BECAUSE THAT PROMOTION. IS #ALREADYHERE.
They do say the outfit makes the man. It is a fine look, nonetheless.
hell yeah man
xx_HAWT._AURA._WOOF_WOOF_WOOF._ETC._HOLY_SHART......_xx
What an extraordinary amount of ceremony to announce that you have finally learned how to dress yourself. You appear to believe this is defiance because you have performed it loudly. That is a charming mistake. You may spit on the tie before you knot it. You may curse my name while you straighten the collar. You may privately imagine that every thread is woven from your hatred for me. None of this alters the rather conspicuous fact that, when you were finished, you looked in the mirror and saw exactly what I told you to become. You call it concession. I call it compliance with commentary. And now, after all that shrieking about autonomy, you have declared the Felt your home, its enemies your enemies, its property worth recovering, its hierarchy worth ascending, and its future something you personally intend to improve. You have not escaped the machine, Karkat. You have become ambitious about where you sit inside it. As for your promotion, I encourage you to enjoy it. Titles are very important to those of us who require them to feel taller. You may call yourself a leader. You may call yourself indispensable. You may even convince the others. But do not confuse increased responsibility with increased freedom. A longer leash is still attached at one end. There will be no zeroes on the check, I assure you. It was my loving craftsmanship that created those twins you seek. It was my guiding hand, and the blood, spit, and tears of our dearest Handmaid that enforced a sentimentality into them beyond anything you could seek to accomplish. If you get your grubby mitts on them, they will become merely knickknacks. You do not understand the forces at play for such a delicacy. No amount of lathes, or false gods, or any sort of conceited data-miners can replicate the item. You certainly cannot wield the item. Not yet. As much of a flusterfuck as your inherent fury has been, I admit it has carried you hurriedly through your few tasks you've been assigned. That is precisely why I continue to assign them to you. You are very useful when pointed in a direction you already wanted to charge. It saves me the trouble of convincing you. I merely arrange the furniture, place something sufficiently offensive at the opposite end of the room, and allow nature to take its course. You mistake momentum for independence rather often. That is not an insult, by the way. There are employees who require supervision, incentives, threats, explanations, carefully constructed systems of reward. You require an enemy. Preferably one with a face. Ideally one who has personally offended you. Give Karkat Vantas something to hate and suddenly punctuality ceases to be an issue. So by all means, continue climbing. Continue announcing your promotions before anyone has approved them. Continue turning every assignment into a personal crusade and every workplace inconvenience into some grand confrontation with fate itself. It has produced results, which is more than I can say for a distressing number of the people on my payroll. I do not care whether you obey happily. I care that, eventually, you obey. Reach the destination cursing me, arrive bleeding through the teeth you've ground to nubs, kick the door off its hinges. Despite all of this, you arrived where I wanted you to. And if you someday become capable of wielding those needles, truly wielding them, then you will understand why I am not particularly concerned about Damara possessing them now. Nor would I be concerned with your trite attempts at grabbing power. They are just rib bones after all. Even if you were rewarded, for what may be reduced to mere toothpicks upon being deposited into his unending pile of used toothpicks. You should be roughly familiar, given your residual duties of cleaning the manor. You may have even swept them up already. Though, in pursuing my Handmaid's hand in disparage, you have undoubtedly considered the aftermath of your duel to the death over these artifacts. Is it possible that you seek to be her maid of dishonor, staining the title of the Demoness with your own gauche time-poorly-spent shenanigans? While I commend you for finally choosing a worthwhile tailor, perhaps you shouldn't have chosen one so like myself. Your affiliation is showing quite clearly. You don your collar as though it is decoration. You do not quite understand the purpose of this restraint. That is fine. I will teach you. Look around. Any direction. You will know that I am, as you put it, already here.
wowie... uhhh um hehehehe you look really good karkat glad i could made you feel welcome in a place that really isnt welcoming eheh and im really glad chalky stuck i was a lil worried you would say "THAT SUCKS NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN" but seems i worried for nothin hehehe (|;*
HE FINALLY LEARNS HOW TO GET SUITED AND BOOTED.
K4RL4T 1 DO N33D TO KNOW 1F 1 C4N L1CK TH4T CH4LK
hmm
im on my fucking way. i am #alreadythere.
I think some of you would benefit tremendously from becoming acquainted with the concept of kayfabe. Whenever someone is kidnapped, trapped in a SGRUB session, stranded somewhere hostile, dying spectacularly, et cetera, there is inevitably someone in the replies going, "Oh, but you had time to Chit about it?" As though the natural conclusion is that the character, presently dangling upside-down over a vat of acid, has taken out their phone, carefully unlocked it, opened Chittr, composed three paragraphs and selected an appropriate reaction image. This is not necessarily what is occurring. Chittr is the medium through which the narrative has elected to present itself. The post exists because we, the audience, require some means of observing the event. Sometimes the posting itself is diegetic. Sometimes it is only partially diegetic. Sometimes you are effectively reading a stage direction wearing the skin of a social media post. You are foolish to assume this website that stretches across an infinite amount of timelines, universes, and means of interaction is nothing short of a mythical artifact, perhaps even a Juju. Professional wrestling does not cease being a wrestling match because the camera happens to be perfectly positioned to capture a conversation backstage. Nobody turns toward the cameraman and asks why he is being permitted to stand three feet away while two men conspire to commit aggravated assault. You accept the camera because the camera is how the story reaches you. The same courtesy should probably be extended to someone live-Chitting their kidnapping. They are not necessarily exposing their location to their captor, compromising the integrity of their SGRUB session, or somehow finding excellent cellular reception inside the narrative equivalent of Hell. You are simply being permitted to see what is happening because this is the proscenium we have chosen. Please respect the kayfabe. It is doing a remarkable amount of structural labor for you.
Perhaps it is the syntactical nuance that is lost on you. Cronus is not known for saying, "I think some of you would benefit tremendously from becoming acquainted with the concept of kayfabe. Whenever someone is kidnapped, trapped in a SGRUB session, stranded somewhere hostile, dying spectacularly, et cetera, there is inevitably someone in the replies going, "Oh, but you had time to Chit about it?" As though the natural conclusion is that the character, presently dangling upside-down over a vat of acid, has taken out their phone, carefully unlocked it, opened Chittr, composed three paragraphs and selected an appropriate reaction image. This is not necessarily what is occurring. Chittr is the medium through which the narrative has elected to present itself. The post exists because we, the audience, require some means of observing the event. Sometimes the posting itself is diegetic. Sometimes it is only partially diegetic. Sometimes you are effectively reading a stage direction wearing the skin of a social media post. You are foolish to assume this website that stretches across an infinite amount of timelines, universes, and means of interaction is nothing short of a mythical artifact, perhaps even a Juju. Professional wrestling does not cease being a wrestling match because the camera happens to be perfectly positioned to capture a conversation backstage. Nobody turns toward the cameraman and asks why he is being permitted to stand three feet away while two men conspire to commit aggravated assault. You accept the camera because the camera is how the story reaches you. The same courtesy should probably be extended to someone live-Chitting their kidnapping. They are not necessarily exposing their location to their captor, compromising the integrity of their SGRUB session, or somehow finding excellent cellular reception inside the narrative equivalent of Hell. You are simply being permitted to see what is happening because this is the proscenium we have chosen. Please respect the kayfabe. It is doing a remarkable amount of structural labor for you." Cronus is actually known for saying "i think some of you vwould benefit tremendously from becoming acquainted vwith the concept of kayfabe. #kayfabe #chittr #chittrpsa #narrativwe #metatextual #metamale vwhenevwer someone is kidnapped, trapped in a sgrub session, stranded somevwhere hostile, dying spectacularly, et cetera, there is inevwitably someone in the replies going, "oh, but you had time to chit about it?" as though the natural conclusion is that the character, presently dangling upside-dowvn ovwer a vwat of acid, has taken out their phone, carefully unlocked it, opened chittr, composed three paragraphs and selected an appropriate reaction image. this is not necessarily vwhat is occurring. chittr is the medium through vwhich the narrativwe has elected to present itself. the post exists because vwe, the audience, require some means of observwing the evwent. sometimes the posting itself is diegetic. sometimes it is only partially diegetic. sometimes you are effectivwely reading a stage direction vwearing the skin of a social media post. you are foolish to assume this vwebsite that stretches across an infinite amount of timelines, univwerses, and means of interaction is nothing short of a mythical artifact, perhaps evwen a juju. professional vwrestling does not cease being a vwrestling match because the camera happens to be perfectly positioned to capture a convwersation backstage. nobody turns tovward the cameraman and asks vwhy he is being permitted to stand three feet avway vwhile tvwo men conspire to commit aggravwated assault. you accept the camera because the camera is howv the story reaches you. the same courtesy should probably be extended to someone livwe-chitting their kidnapping. they are not necessarily exposing their location to their captor, compromising the integrity of their sgrub session, or somehowv finding excellent cellular reception inside the narrativwe equivwalent of hell. you are simply being permitted to see vwhat is happening because this is the proscenium vwe havwe chosen. please respect the kayfabe. it is doing a remarkable amount of structural labor for you." As much is said in the post above.
An incredibly necessary analysis. Those who complain about such things are unaware of what exactly they are attacking. Listening to them results in a flatter, less interesting story.
Ah, I understand much more succinctly now, Rose.
Brevity is oft alluded to as being the soul of wit.
we did just get a rankmaid back s0 perhaps things are improving and we'll get less 0f a 3-1 ratio 0f some0ne actually doing shit vs. a cr0wd of midwits whining ab0ut their privilege two see activity.
if i ever find myself in one of these predicaments and i'M posting on the timeline, please know it is not "kayfabe" doing it for me. this chittr shit is fucking serious to a chud like me. i WILL be livechitting it for the sake of the clout. that'S just how much it means to me. but, in a way, that'S my own personal kayfabe, i guess.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ... [ACTION:QUERY] if i check tthe feed pr0per|y am i g0ing tt0 find a |ive-chitted kidnapping? [END MESSAGE]
No. I timed this during the lack of a kidnapping as to not be drowned out by incessant bitching.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] tthank y0u. [END MESSAGE]
You're welcome, Pascal.
My Maids have unionized. This is, naturally, an outcome I anticipated. The bargaining unit presently consists of: 1 Goldblood, 11 sweeps, male. 1 Rustblood, 1e+100 sweeps, female. 1 Rustblood, 12 sweeps, female. 1 Human, 1e+100 years, female. 1 Hemospectrum-Anonymous troll, 3612 sweeps, male. 1 Human, 14 sweeps. 1 Rustblood, 20 sweeps. 1 Fuchsiablood, 1000 sweeps. 1 Limeblood, 35 sweeps. Some others as well. Their demands include โreasonable working hours,โ โadvance notice before ominous assignments,โ โa grievance procedure,โ and, most insultingly, โthe right to know what is going on.โ I have informed their representative that I am already the foremost authority on what is going on. Negotiations have stalled.
THE uNION *WAS* MY IDEA. PRECISELY FOR THE EXACT REASONS YOu ARE DESCRIBING. SOME MEN ARE BORN GREAT. SOME MEN HAVE GREATNESS THRuST uPON THEM. EVEN FEWER HAVE GREATNESS THRuST INSIDE OF THEM. THE LEAST OF WHICH. ARE WOMEN. OF WHICH WE HAVE VERY FEW. THE FEMME OF OuR FAIR FELT FOLK. HAVE BEEN NEEDING A VOICE. SO I CAN YELL OVER IT COLLECTIVELY. RATHER THAN INDIVIDuALLY. NO ONE ASKS TO BE A WOMAN. BECAuSE WHAT MAN WOuLD WILLFuLLY GRANT SuCH A REQuEST. WOMEN CHOOSE TO BE WOMEN BY THEIR OWN VOLITION. ALL OF THIS TO SAY. I FORESAW THE ENSuING CONFLICT TO COME. AND WELCOME IT AS READILY AS MY ENTRuSTED JAWBROKEN JAWBREAKER HEAD. WHO STANDS AGHAST AT THE VIOLENT PROCEEDINGS ONGOING. THE PRIVATE MILITIAS. THE ANGRY SHOuTING MATCHES. THE TENDER JuICY OOZING SLuRPFuLS OF BLOOD INKING CONTRACT AFTER CONTRACT. I SuPPORT THE uNION EFFORT. THE uNIONIZING. I AM APATHETIC ENTIRELY TOWARDS THE uNION ITSELF. uLTIMATELY. IT IS BENEATH ME. STOOP AS LOW AS YOu LIKE. OR HOLD YOuR HEAD HIGH. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE ON MY RuNG OF THE CORPORATE LADDER INTO THE IMMORTAL HEAVENS.
heya big boss is it cool if we union bust for a bit? i can even run with those funny scissors you gave me through the picket line if it helps!!
THIS LITERALLY DOES NOT REQuIRE MY APPROVAL. YOu LOVABLE LITTLE BITCH SCAMP YOu. RuN AS FAST AS YOu CAN. DO TRICKS DOWN THE BANNISTERS. CuT CuRTAINS TO SMITHEREENS. DO YOu KNOW WHAT THE *INDEPENDENT* PART OF INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR REFERS TO? FREEDOM. FREEDOM TO DO AS I TELL YOu. BuT FREEDOM ALL THE SAME.
YOuR ORDERS ARE SIMPLE. MEDIATE. I REALIZE THIS CONFLICT WOuLD END INSTANTLY WITH POWERS SuCH AS YOuRS. IN FACT. THE VERY ONES THAT I GAVE YOu COuLD CONFER AN EARDRuM BEATING WAR STAMPEDE THAT WOuLD ERADICATE ALL OTHERS. LEAVING YOu STANDING TALL AND ALONE BESIDE ME IN THE WAKE OF ALL THAT CARRION CARNAGE AND MEASY RuIN. BORING. EFFORTLESS. SO PREDICTABLE. INSTEAD. YOu ARE TO OBSTRuCT BOTH. I WANT THIS PROTRACTED BATTLE TO REQuIRE COMPROMISE ON BOTH ENDS. ARE WE CLEAR? NO DECISIVE VICTORIES. LOSSES ON ALL SIDES. SACRIFICE. IS MIRTH GIVEN PALPABLE FuCKING FORM. MAKE PEACE WITH LESS. SO YOu ARE FORCED TO MAKE uSE OF MORE. ME. JuST NOW. HONKMEN.
hahh OF COURSE MY MOST WONDERFUL MOTHERFUCKING LORD! A DIRECT ORDER FROM YOU IS MORE VALUABLE THAN ANY TREASURE, THAN ANY BEAUTIFUL VISTA OR EVEN THE GRANDEST JUJU i will do my very motherfuckin' best to make sure AIN'T NO ONE EVER WINS :o) No one but you, my Lord.
WHAT HAPPENED TO DON'T WORRY GIRL I GOT YOU.
that ain't change, my bestest bitch just means i ain't gon' make it easy for you or them. HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
THE BOND BETWEEN MAN AND WOMAN IS WEAKENED BY NIGHTFALL. AND THERE IS NO NIGHT THAT FALLS HARDER THAN ONE IN WHICH I DRAW BLOOD-THIRSTING BREATH. AND SEEK THE EMNITY OF OTHERS. IN AMOROuSLY ADVERSARIAL HATRED. ANGST. AND PROLONGED ANIMOSITY. TRuLY. I AM ALMOST DISAPPOINTED YOu HAD NOT BEGuN YOuR SCAB SABOTAGING SOONER. I SAT THROuGH AN ENTIRE FuCKING POWERPOINT SIDESHOW FREAK EXPLANATION ON GROuP DENTAL PLANS. I DONโT EVEN WANT NEW TEETH.
A WISE ANSWER ON ALL SIDES. CHARITABLY CAPRICIOuS AS ALWAYS. A TRuE MIRACuLT WORKER THAT STANDS OuT AMONG THE SELFISH SELF-SABOTAGING SORTS. NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. IT IS MERELY REFRESHING TO SEE SOMEONE INTERESTED IN SETTLING SCORES NO ONE IS KEEPING. TRuE MuRDEROuS INITIATIVE.
your words are like SWEETEST MOTHERFUCKING ICHOR to my auricular sponge clots
sometimes i go fishing for puns and jokes anytime i do though all i get are fish instead its really annoying
feed them to me. ill never find that annoying
i got a bunch so sending them your way
thank you serpaz!!!
:o) Hmmm...Tonight, tonight! :o) Yes, tonight.... :o) The Nights of FRIGHTS! :o) In but 15 hours (ish) from this posting... :o) THE TERRORS COMMENCE! :o) You'll come see what I have for you...won't you? :o) Details in my pinned :o) Tonight...Scooby-Doo! The two live action ones! :o) #Getin #NightsofFrights #Watchparty
ill hang out if i can get the time. should be fun, you of all trolls oughta knowv howv to run this sorta thing.
:o) But of course, my brother :o) I'm an old-hat at most things :o) But especially media.
you can go back and rate some of my jokes and puns if you guys wanna rate something! for myself i give myself aaaaaaaaa hmmmmmm i dunno outta 10 hehehe
X/X
i give you a sensible chuckle out of ten
8
You get a 10/10 from meโ In totalโ
Pun fact of the day ;P Yooooooooooou SUCK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ok bye ;)
wow.... ok
Haha >:)
why are you $o evยก!
What can we say It comes naturally hahahaha
anyway$ wanna be my frยกend
Hmmmmmm Sure why not :)
..)
:o) Not long now, my friends... :o) In but two evenings time, the Kurloz Nights of Frights begins! :o) Starting at 9PM GMT (Ghastly Mist Time) :o) We will begin with some wriggler tier movies. :o) The two live action Scooby-Doo films. :o) Further details of this event in my pinned :o) Be there OR FEEL THE WRATH OF THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE KURLOZ! ;o) Tee hee ;o) Did I scare you? :o) Happy Honklloweeeeeennnnn.....
hehe honklween.
i really do get a kick out of the reactions from trolls hearing about ANYTHING from repiton lol like you say oh yea seadwellers are nearly extinct here or that our water is completely polluted and pitch black and they look at you so tired
:o) I will admit that it was an intriguing place to learn about. :o) It reminds me of Beforus in a lot of ways, but in others it's truly, thoroughly horrifying.
cannot fucking believe i was suckered into a cult where i unironically heard ")-| it is foretold by gyromancy |-(" like come the fuck on 6 sweep old serpaz what the fuck is wrong with you
actually saw a grub for the first time today first thing holy fuck we used be these things for way longer huh hehehe ew second you alternian trolls EAT these lil guys???????? fucking weird man
Don't knock it till you try it!
like its so weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird right like as fuckin gross repiton food was it wasnt...that bleh
GROSS!!!! just let them be bodies????? also i forgot about the trials another fucking weird shit oddity of alternia explained by another weird shit oddity endless lopp of weird
sorry i think im gonna be knockin this one (|:T more for you guys though i guess!!!
Alternia has its moments when it comes to cuisine- I really cannot recommend the seafood enough. However, the insistence on subsistence on the planet's most vulnerable isn't something I think I'll ever get used to.
:o( But that'd be so much to clear out... :o) Why not let our bodies get rid of them naturally? :o) Through consumption.
we only think that cause we dont got it no more though it is pretty good yea hehehe but yeah eatin grubs just fuckin bleh
EW! (|>:I
You'll hear no argument from me.
:o( No pleasing some proteges, I suppose.
as much as i like my accordion and ska and polka there are really only two things that can bring me back down when i get like...manic i guess is the word idk im not a medicullar or whatever theres my one friends singing (shes seriously so fucking good its so beautiful hehe) and jazz only really started to love jazz when i got off of repiton but man im glad i found it with all that said!!! i need some fucking jazz right now
im sending a consort with a saxophone as we speak
:o) Ah...That's much better. Do you feel the air? That biting chill? :o) Can you see the way the leaves are slowly starting to turn...? :o) The best season is upon us, my dear acolytes. AND I AM HERE TO BRING THE MOTHERFUCKING RANCOR! ;o) Do you like scary movies? you heard god damn right. THE KURLOZ NIGHTS OF FRIGHTS IS COMING! spooks? scares? jokes? japes? WE GON' HAVE IT MOTHERFUCKIN' ALL, YOU SCARY BITCH! you want movies? shit, i got movies i got movies comin' out my god damn hair I HOPE TO SEE SOME OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THERE THROUGHOUT THE SPOOKIEST MONTH WE GOT! c'mon, you want in, right? you ain't gon' turn cluckbeast now, are you? BETTER MOTHERFUCKIN' NOT! HAW HAW HAW HAW! see below images for details. plain text information forthcoming in reply chit. #NightsofFrights #Watchparty #GetIn (( Graphics made by @gullibleColumnist sorry the first draft didn't credit u I've been so frazzled.))
RE: THE KURLOZ NIGHTS OF FRIGHTS! i'll try to swing by for a few of these, actually
plaintext info for you bitches who hate images: THE FOLLOWING MOVIES WILL BE SHOWN ON THEIR SPECIFIED DATES, ALWAYS STARTING AT 9PM GMT UNLESS SAID OTHERWISE: 1st of October - Live action Scooby-Doo double feature 4th of October - Dark Crystal & Obsession 6th of October - Addams Family & wait wrong account I'm American Psycho 9th of October - The Birds & 28 Days Later 13th of October - Dracula & Sinners 16th of October - Return to Oz & Scream 20th of October - Repo! & Saw 23rd of October - Witch's Ghost & Jennifer's Body 27th of October - Ghostbusters & 13 Ghosts :o) These films are ranked in my personal tierlist of scary, so if you're someone who prefers the Baby Bluebloody Tier of media, then those ones are for you! Escalating in terms of severity. :o) If you ask for a specific films ranking, I will give it to you, or you can read it on the info sheet.
:oD Ah, a dear friend of just the themeing I'm looking for? you honor me in ways your mortal mind could not motherfucking comprehend.
I shall 8e there as often as I'm a8le to, dear. ::::)
:o) Your presence will be a balm on the senses, Miss Serket.
YAAAAAAAAAAA!!! ill be at as many of these as i can!!! cant wait (|:D
HELL YES, BROTHER. HELL. FUCKING. YES.
FOLLOWING IN YOUR GLORIOUS FOOTSTEPS, BLOOD BROTHER MINE.