Serpaz Helilo!!!
@comedyGold
she/her local funny troll from your local repiton!! carpenter musician comedian and always got that hardhat on me (|:P catastrophically employed by the felt as the cuekeeper
>-8==— this is the best way to placcate a particcularly difficcult and violent patient. >-8==— if a patient shows violent tendenccies it's best to restrain them ccompletely. #medcchittr #beforancculling
damn even the bulge is locked down!?!? what kinda wacky mediculling are you guys doin on beforus?????
xx_hold_on_everyg1_i_need_2_iamgine_a_big_fat_juicy_marbled_steak_rq_xx
dont let your dreams be dreams get that juicy steak
hey babe i lied we arent having sex or whatever now put these safety glasses on im showing you how to use a lathe
≽^•⩊•^≼ Oh heck yeah nya. Can I smoke while we do it?
i wouldnt recommend it!!! but im not gonna stop you lol
:33< *ac pops up and flings a full 45oz movie soda into the audience* >:33c< im evil meow :33< anyways :DDc< welcome all beloved and be beloathed members of the adorabloodthirsty cinemassacre coven :33< as your final brood sire, i'll be showing you the last movie of the light, Dracula (2025) wwwOooOooOOOooo :33< this movie is rated r for rotten! be aware there will be fighting, violence, gore, and intense scenes! :33< we'll be opening our showing at 7pm PST sharp, scamper over to the #abcc-chittr and #abcc-pst tag to live blog with mewre fellow coven :33< ...since I don't have one of those fancy links I'll be dropping *that* closer to opening time :33< and as always rsvp in the comments below! so mew can #GETIN :33< remember: abcc has a suggestion box! if you have a haunting film that *you* want to watch that can be construed to be a romance in anyway, in any quadrant smearing fuck, then submit it here
i will be there!! i meant to say that waaaaaaaay earlier but i forgot hehe
xx_h_xx
no but like fr though why did he have to look soooooooooooo
FROM THE MOMENT THE NAME "CHALKBOX" WAS SEARED ONTO MY CHITTR PROFILE LIKE A DIGITAL BRANDING IRON, I HAVE CHAFED BENEATH IT. SOME OF YOU KNOW ME BY THIS TITLE AND NOTHING ELSE. TO SOME OF YOU, I STOPPED BEING "KARKAT" A LONG TIME AGO. AND ONCE UPON A TIME, I WOULD HAVE TOLD THOSE JACKOFFS TO KISS MY HEMOANONYMOUS ASS. BUT THAT OFFER IS NO LONGER VALID. THIS ASS HAS SINCE APPRECIATED IN VALUE BEYOND WHAT YOUR POCKET CAEGARS CAN AFFORD. IT'S BEEN THROUGH THE MOST BRUTAL AND CUTTHROAT OF ALL WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS — THE PRIME TIME SOAP OPERA OF COWORKERLY PLOT TWISTS. A MERGER. A MERGING OF ALLIANCES. PUBLICLY. IN THE TOWN SQUARE. PLAIN AS THE STUPID ON YOUR FACE. A FIRM, MEATY PRONGSHAKE BETWEEN TWO SHITBAGS FROM DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE WHO HAVE SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN THE SAME COSMIC LANDFILL, ANYWAY. TWO FUCKWITS WHO HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I OR ANYONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT. TWO FECULENT NOOKSTAINS WHO KNOW THAT IF WE'RE GOING TO BE PRESS-GANGED INTO SERVICE IN THE WORST JOB IN EXISTENCE, WE'RE GOING TO DO IT IN STYLE. TO THE FELT. TO *ALL* OF THE FELT. YES, INCLUDING YOU, @handMaid. BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS, PERSONALLY. MAY THE GLOWING-HOT PROD OF MY ENMITY REND ITSELF UPON THE MEMBRANE OF YOUR GANDERBULBS WITH SIZZLING, BUBBLING AMUSEMENT. BECAUSE, AND I QUOTE, "ALL MEN KNOW HOW TO DO IS LIE AND STEAL AND FUCKING BETRAY." AND MOST OF ALL, TO MY COWORKERS. TO MY TEAM. TO THE FECKLESS, MISERABLE SHITHEELS WHO EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO GET THE JOB ALONGSIDE ME. TO THE ONES WHO NEVER GAVE UP. THE ONES FOR WHOM "CHALKBOX" WAS NEVER A BAD WORD. @comedyGold. @gullibleColumnist. @terribleFate, YOU TOO, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO. AND WHY THE FUCK NOT — @veritysGleam, MY LOYAL MAIDLING. @terminatedRegalia WANTS YOU TO REPORT TO A LEADER? YOU'RE SURE AS FUCK GOING TO GET ONE. SO HERE. FOR ALL YOU ANNOYING CHUTEMAGGOTS WHO EVER BUSTED MY GLOBES ABOUT NOT "COMMITTING TO THE WORKPLACE TEAM SPIRIT. FINE. YOU WIN. THIS IS THE PATHETIC, MICROSCOPIC CRUMB OF MY CONCESSION. @scratchDoctor. SINCE THE MOMENT YOU SIGNED MY EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT, I ONLY EVER WORE A SHRED OF THE COLOR TO SPITE YOUR DUMBFUCK ANTIQUATED DRESS CODE. EVERY TIME I YANK THE TIE OFF, IT'S WITH MY MIDDLE PRONGSTUB. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT DIRECTION I POINT IT IN — I KNOW IT'S ALWAYS FACING YOU. I HAVE IMBUED THAT TIE WITH ALL OF MY HATE. ALL OF MY RAGE. ALL OF THE BITTER, FULMINATING CHAGRIN IN MY EVERY PULSING LIFE FIBER. I PLAN TO DO THE SAME WITH THIS ONE, FOR THE RECORD. SO FEAST YOUR SMOOTH, BALD HEAD (IN PLACE OF ANY DISCERNIBLE GANDERBULBS) ON THE COLOR YOU SO CLEARLY WANT YOUR COVEN OF INTERDIMENSIONAL RAINBOW DRINKER COSPLAYERS TO WEAR. GO AHEAD. GLOAT LIKE YOU WON ME OVER, EVENTUALLY. LIKE I DECIDED TO REP THE COMPANY COLORS, FOR ONCE. IT IS MY HATE-FILLED, SPITE-FUELED, IRONIC GESTURE OF PROTEST TO YOU AND THE MALDING GREEN MANLET @caliBorn HIMSELF. YOU TWO, BY VIRTUE OF SIGNING MY CHECKS, HAVE SUFFICIENT CLEARANCE TO KISS MY ASS. THE FELT IS MORE THAN A NINE TO FIVE. MORE THAN A HIVE WHERE I KICK UP MY FRONDS AFTER A GRUELING ETERNITY OF TOIL, WHETHER IT'S IN THIS TIME PERIOD OR IN AN ISEKAI TO THE FAR-FLUNG PAST. MORE THAN A PRISON TO CONTAIN A HATRED THAT PARADOX SPACE ITSELF HAS BEEN TRYING TO SQUASH FOR AS LONG AS I'VE BEEN WEARING GRAY, AND IT STILL HASN'T CULLED ME YET. THE FELT IS WHERE I BELONG. FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE. SO GO AHEAD. FUCK IT. WHO CARES WHAT YOU CALL ME. KARKAT. CHALKBOX. CHALKY. OR ANOTHER TITLE THAT I'LL UNVEIL IN ANOTHER, SEPARATE CHITT, RELATED TO HAVING FINALLY PUT A CERTAIN CHICANEROUS PURRBEAST IN HER PLACE IN REGARD TO WHO THE *SUPERIOR ROMANTIC CINEASTE* IS. IT DOESN'T MATTER. IF I'M HERE FOREVER, I'M DOING IT MY WAY. OR IN THIS CASE, A SORT OF JOINT-PARTNERSHIP WAY. BESPOKE NEW UNIFORM COURTESY OF @charmeuseCaressing. TAILORED BY THE FELT, YES, BUT ON *MY* TERMS. BECAUSE YOU DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE ONE YOU HAVE. AND MARA. IF YOU'RE READING THIS. AND I KNOW YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP YOURSELF. I WANT THAT PAIR OF NEEDLES YOU VANDALIZED OUT OF ROTTING GREEN COMPANY PROPERTY. NOT BECAUSE I GIVE A SHIT. BUT BECAUSE I KNOW AN OBNOXIOUS, OMNIPOTENT DIPSHIT WHO DOES. HOW MANY ZEROES WILL BE ON THE CHECK HE SIGNS WHEN I BRING BACK HIS SISTER'S THORASSIC BONE CURVATURE, I WONDER. ESPECIALLY WHEN I PRY IT FROM YOUR HOT, WHORELY HANDS. WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU AND EVERY OTHER POMPOUS, JACKBOOTED SHITHEEL WHO KEPT ME DOWN HERE, I'LL STAB THEM STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR WORKPLACE ORGANIZATION CHART AND TEAR IT A GAPING NEW WASTE CHUTE. THERE ARE GOING TO BE SOME FUCKDAMN *CHANGES* AROUND HERE. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME LAMENTING THE LOSS OF YOUR UNDERLING, *MANAGER.* BECAUSE THAT PROMOTION. IS #ALREADYHERE.
wowie... uhhh um hehehehe you look really good karkat glad i could made you feel welcome in a place that really isnt welcoming eheh and im really glad chalky stuck i was a lil worried you would say "THAT SUCKS NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN" but seems i worried for nothin hehehe (|;*
THERE ARE SO MANY MORE IMPORTANT PROBLEMS I COULD BE GETTING ABSOLUTELY BODIED BY. "WHAT TO WEAR FOR TENTH PERIGEE'S EVE" DOES *NOT* NEED TO BE ONE OF THEM. FUCK THIS. I'M OUTSOURCING THE DECISION TO THE WHIMS OF THE ALMIGHTY QUAD REACTS. FOR #HALLOWEEN, I WILL DRESS UP AS: ❤️ - WESTLEY (THE PRINCESS BRIDE) ♦️ - EDWARD SCISSORHANDS (1990) ♣️ - THE PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE (1974) ♠️ - GRAVEROBBER (REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA) DO AS THOU WILT. I DON'T FUCKING CARE. VOTE, IF YOU DO.
fuck i saw this waaay too late and its likely been decided by nooooow YOU COULD MAKE IT LIKE EDWARD SICKLEHANDS INSTEAD IT WOULD SO AWESOME IT WOULD BE SO COOL but i think realistically youd pull off any of these hehehe
CINEMANIACS OF #ABCC. SPECIFICALLY THE CINEMANIACS OF #ABCC-GMT. GET READY TO FUCKING GET CINEMANIACAL. I AM, AS ALWAYS EXCEPT FOR SOMETIMES, YOUR #ABCC-FILMLEADER HOSTING THE #ABCC-GMT #WATCHPARTY OF: DRACULA (1931) YEAH, IT’S OLD. YEAH, IT’S FUCKING AWESOME. A CLASSIC YOU SHOULDN’T MISS IF YOU EVER WANT TO HAVE HOPES OF CALLING YOURSELF A FILM BUFF. WE'LL BE STARTING AT 21:00 (9PM) SHARP. HOP ON THE #ABCC-CHATTR TAG AN #ABCC-GMT TAG TO LIVEBLOG WITH YOUR FELLOW CHITTRERS. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, OR A MOVIE SUGGESTION OF YOUR OWN, HEAD TO ABCC'S WEBSITE, LINKED BELOW. I’VE ALSO LINKED A CHAT BOX FOR ONGOING MOVIE DISCUSSIONS IN THE FORUM STYLE, SO WE CAN ALL DEBRIEF. YOU KNOW I LOVE A DEBRIEF. AND A BRIEF. RSVP IN THE COMMENTS NOW. #GETIN.
i will be there or be square maybe both hehe
My Maids have unionized. This is, naturally, an outcome I anticipated. The bargaining unit presently consists of: 1 Goldblood, 11 sweeps, male. 1 Rustblood, 1e+100 sweeps, female. 1 Rustblood, 12 sweeps, female. 1 Human, 1e+100 years, female. 1 Hemospectrum-Anonymous troll, 3612 sweeps, male. 1 Human, 14 sweeps. 1 Rustblood, 20 sweeps. 1 Fuchsiablood, 1000 sweeps. 1 Limeblood, 35 sweeps. Some others as well. Their demands include “reasonable working hours,” “advance notice before ominous assignments,” “a grievance procedure,” and, most insultingly, “the right to know what is going on.” I have informed their representative that I am already the foremost authority on what is going on. Negotiations have stalled.
is it scabbing if i already work here???? but eh why not i can union bust sure
who the hell said im NOT full time!?!?!? GAG CHARACTER!?!?! @handMaid im getting to him first
😒💅😒 and the crowd goes mild!!!! 👍💎👍 😎✨😎 your older material was funnier, tbh 👋👠👋 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
#SCABBING IS BREAKING THE PICKET LINE IN ANY WAY. SUCH AS. CONTINUING TO WORK DURING A STRIKE. CONVINCING OTHER EMPLOYEES TO DO THE SAME. THREATENING UNION MEMBERS. RENDING FLESH UNTIL THE BLOOD FORMS AN EXOSKELETAL PATCH. AND SO ON.
ohhhh dont worry roewzi im gonna be fuckin hilarious soon
hmmm! the things we learn at work! theres gonna be plenty of all of that then hehehe
:o) As a dedicated #FeltEmployee I will be joining the union busting side with @handMaid and @comedyGold :o) That is all. :o) Expect to see me haunting any picket lines AND RENDING FLESH FROM BONE AND BONE FROM SOUL
DON'T BELIEVE THE PISSBLOOD'S LIES. CALIBORN WOULD NEVER DISAPPROVE OF THE MASSACRE OF WHINY BITCHES. BEGGING FOR MORE RIGHTS. THAN THEIR MASTER DEIGNS TO TOSS THEM.
heya big boss is it cool if we union bust for a bit? i can even run with those funny scissors you gave me through the picket line if it helps!!
sometimes i go fishing for puns and jokes anytime i do though all i get are fish instead its really annoying
feed them to me. ill never find that annoying
i got a bunch so sending them your way
Stabs. Stabs. Stabs. Stabs. Stabs. Stabs.
ow ouch owwy yowch owowow oof
Newsflash: none of you are Ultimate. Most of you are not penultimate. Some of you I am not entirely convinced have achieved a base percentage of yourselves, though you have nevertheless developed the extraordinary confidence required to declare yourselves the pinnacle of what you could ever become. Go ahead, tell me the omniscient patterns of any other self you have on here. You can't. You truly can't. You might get lucky with a guess for a single other iteration.
i think kurly tried to explain what that stuff all means and all it gave me was a pan ache lol im sure there are mes who think they are a better me than me hell i talk with one every day but like also who cares??? if being the best me sucks than why bother im cool being a mediocre me in that case hehehe
ok some of you can be mean to bunnies im not gonna lie sometimes the bunnies are provoking it.
mean to bunnies in general or specific bunnies out there??? regardless i know my immense fury and wrath are on hare triggers so ill keep it back for now (|:P
hehehe... hare trigger. and bunnies who have slighted you.
well most bunnies dont make it a rabbit of gettin in my crosshares but ill keep that in mind maam hehe
im just seeing i keep witnessing brat for brat relationships flourish.
so honestly with you i thought you were talking about those old bratz dolls (we had them to for a bit on repiton) lol im so tired