♠ hated by @comedyGold
:o) Hee hee :o) Haa haa :o) Hoo hoo motherfucker, you spoil me.
:o) Hee hee... :o) Alternia's theater scene is something I personally helped foster.
:o) I do so love a good stage show... :o) I should like to take you to see some of Alternia's best performances during its golden age... :o) Oh the singing, the dancing, the costumes... :o) You would love it, littlest sister.
Time for a daddyberry.
My word, the general intelligence of the website has dipped below usual parameters today, hasn't it? Concerning, seeing as its usually in the red as it is.
calling it. i could let it keep on keeping on, but i think wved all be happier (besides meenah) if meenahs the one wvho movwes on this round. trust me. next up. wvell, vwe already savw wvhy you should vwote for either candidate. jane crocker up against the handmaid. #cronusbabeoff! bouncy, bodacious, a real boss bitch, janey crocker herself! the maid wvith the most, shes got plenty of junk in her trunk, and the business acumen to buy you out if you hawve anything bad to say about it. dont think just because shes a life player shes a healslut. she, uhh... she scares me. and then wvevwe got the handmaid, alternias vwhore-er, the shame of beforus, servwant of time and friend o mine! wvhat a wvoman! you wvant some timestop? shes got you cowvered. time clones? easy. you vwanna get covwered? shes got you covwered. and the #contraptions. oh the contraptions. and the #doohickeys. phewv. she, uhh... she scares me. lifemaid wvs handmaid, let the wvoting begin! #nsfwv <3 or <> for janey <3< or c3< for handy
:o) #KurlozAnswers :o) Who's calling in...? :o) @emotionalCorpse :o) Ah, Mr. D'Amore! A pleasure. :o) Q: :o)? :o(? :o) A: :o( :o( Well...I am most sorry to see that. :o) But perhaps an answer can change that? :o) Q: Do you agree to the possibility of seizure? :o) A: Yes would it ever be any different with us? :o) Q: Do you plead fealty to our Lord of Double Death? :o) A: Yes :o) You never did seem like someone to bow to idols...anymore. :o) And for your question... :o) "just a heads up, will break that contract from last question lmfao XD faithfulness isn’t quite my strong suit, but whatever my question to you is, what is the most painful thing you’ve put a troll through or gone through, dealer’s choice which you answer though please, don’t spare us the details" :o) To spare those on the timeline a most unfortunate lurching, I shall talk about myself. :o) And also say. :o) #Violence #Gore #Horror #Body-horror :o) I have sort of a skewed view on these things so I'm just covering my bases there. :o) I think the most pain I've ever been through was when dearest @handMaid needed to make a spectacle out of highblood execution back in the old days. :o) Well...Old days for you, hm? :o) For me, it was honestly relatively recent. Perhaps only a thousand or so sweeps ago? i was put to the chains and dragged through the streets on the back of a cart. stones dug into every part of me and lit up my nervous system from all angles. grit bore into the pores of me, boulders shredded at my grub scars. i was pulled until i was brought to a table in the woods. prepared just for me, i'd bet. lowbloods of every motherfuckin' shade surrounded me, but i only had eyes for one. you remember, right, damara? how i looked at you then. how my pan flashed into yours and i told you not to hold nothin' back. and to your utmost credit, sister, YOU WERE LIKE FIRE. i was placed upon my deathcupe and she began with her murder most foul. she cut at my skin first. shallow, enough to draw blood but only nicks. i watched the purple leak out of me like grape faygo singing BEAUTIFUL motherfucking rivers. i shivered at the touch of chill my blood brought up to my skin, gritting my teeth into the cuts. she whispered in my ear, only loud enough for my ass to hear. "IT'S JUST YOU AND ME. IGNORE THEM. FOCUS ON HOW *I* MAKE YOU FEEL." she didn't say another word after that, just lay into me with the quickness. i felt her knife carve into fat and meat and touch to bone and my whole body *rocked* with the agony of it. though my tongue was cut out long ago, i still felt my squawk blister sore with the screaming. i squirmed and writhed in my restraints, felt her take somethin' *hot* and cauterize a few of the worst ones shut. she wanted to prolong my suffering. i think my vision gave out after some time, or maybe i was just squeezing my eyes shut, but eventually it blended into a downright SYMPHONY of frustration and agony. it felt like minutes passed into hours into sweeps of torture. my skin peeled, my flesh was marked and claimed, and my blood shed for the beauty of it. it was brutality, it was ferocity, it was... PERFECTION. :o) ...Or perhaps I made all of that up. :o) After all, how could a troll ever come back from that? :o) Hee hee :o) Haa haa :o) Hoo hoo
I can hardly believe *they*, specifically do. Sideline has plenty of other readers, I assure you.
It's been some time, hasn't it? Good evening, Chittr. Not much has changed on my end, I remain in my Land, traversing, building, solving inane 'puzzles'. Truly heinous, and truly boring. But I have some time now between being beset upon by beasts most foul. So I thought I'd check in on you all, as thoroughly dented in the noggins as most of you are.
wvell its confirmed: the crockercorp pr machine hates rustbloods. someone go cancel janey or something. there vwas a good turn out for aradia, including by the wveird vwhite guy himself, but it just vwasnt enough. jane movwes on! sorry rae rae. up next, the handmaid, the demoness, the scariest bitch on alternia, up against the heiress, the wvitch, the svweetest lil thing on alternia, feferi peixes! this propaganda is also #nsfwv for real. wvote belovw, vwhos hot, wvhos not? #cronusbabeoff <3 or <> for feferi <3< or c3< for the handmaid
Will you react to this post for literally no reason at all? I just like seeing the number go up on my notifications.
I can't let you get close.
:o) #KurlozAnswers :o) From: @pliableDecadence#3682 and yes little sister i do know its you, specifically :o) Q: :o)? :o(? :o) A: :o) good, good :o) Q: Do you agree to the possibility of seizure? :o) A: Yes then things'll work out just motherfuckin' fine :o) Q: Do you plead fealty to our Lord of Double Death? :o) A: Yes but with more vigor very good. you're my favorite student. :o) Now for the main question...: (| >:I (| >:I (| >:I (| >:I sigh whats your favourite song to listen to after a hard nights or wices or sweeps work felting it up??? also (| >:I (| >:I (| >:I :o) Well. I am sorry to see you pouting. :o) I know I said I would 'hold the line' but... :o) You won't be mad at me for having fun now, will you? :o) Hee hee... :o) To answer your question: :o) 'She's My Collar' by Gorillaz.
:o) Well...Since Damara is doing one. :o) https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd3zlMKUIJuFkchyTWrLcKoix_jATrorzscIz52fipT_PKYaw/viewform?usp=publish-editor :o) Would you like to ask me questions? :o) I was silent for so very long... :o) Surely you're curious? :o) Hee hee :o) Haa haa :o) Hoo hoo.
It is good to see your employer does not hire only complete fools. We will be in touch :)
:o) Mustn't...open....an ask box... :o) Must...Hold...The line...
IT'S A GOOD THING YOUR OPINION CONTINUES TO MEAN LESS THAN NOTHING.
ASKBOX NOW OPEN. LINK IN BIO. GO FORTH AND DISAPPOINT ME.
QUIT LETTING THOSE THINGS PAP YOU AND PUT THEM DOWN LIKE WOUNDED HOOFBEASTS. GOOD GOD.
EVERY NIGHT. I WORK HARD. TO MAKE ALTERNIA MORE VIOLENT. MORE HEMOIST. MORE DANGEROUS. AND MORE DIVIDED. AND EVERY DAY I OPEN CHITTR. AND YOU ALL DISAPPOINT ME. #FAILTERNIA.
HMMM. YOu FLOOD MY MIND WITH MANY THOuGHTS. SERPAZ. MANY THOuGHTS INDEED. ALL OF THEM. DISQuIETING. NONE OF THEM. AT ODD ENDS WITH YOuR. SPuNK. CuEKEEPER. WE MAY HAVE WORDS YET AGAIN. FOR NOW. KNOW ONLY THIS. YOu HAVE BEEN NOTICED.
꧁newbling courtesy of mynewbestfriend @caliBorn꧂
No thank you. I've had my quite my fill of mad scientist types. Run along now.
Good God, the timeline is as much of a cesspool as I remember it being.
I figured it would be something you'd already learned, Mr. Mersiv. You never struck me as the type to become inebriated. I suppose I was wrong. Let this be a lesson then, that losing one's faculties is truly never worth it.
:o) Good evening, friends :o) Though your friends may have gone long and far :o) You remain. That's something to be celebrated! :o) The Angel has not yet seen fit to render your soul asunder, pray each and every day for this grand mercy.
“EVERYONE KNEW. ALL OF THE SHIT THAT HE’D DO. HE SAID I WAS THE ONLY TROLL BUT THAT JUST WASN’T THE TRUTH. AND WHEN I TOLD HIM HOW HE HURT ME. HE TOLD ME I WAS TRIPPING. BUT I AM MY FATHER’S DAUGHTER. SO MAYBE I COULD FIX HIM. I WANT TO GET HIM BACK! WANT TO MAKE HIM REALLY JEALOUS! WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL BAD!” -TROLLIVIA RODRIGO. #NOWPLAYING #BASICBITCHMOMENT #VAGUECHITT #TARGETEDSTRIKECHITT
:o( Hm...Most troubling. :o) If you would like. :o) You may report to mine or Mr. Vantas' quarters if you would like to talk. :o) Our doors are always open for you.
ANOTHER THING I'M GLAD WE'VE LARGELY MOVED ON FROM IS THE ASK BLOG FORMAT. FINALLY WE CAN BE A REAL FUCKING WEBSITE AND SCROLL THE TIMELINE WITHOUT BEING FLOODED UP TO OUR KNEES IN WORTHLESS ASSHOLES CHOMPING AT THE BIT FOR A CRUMB OF ATTENTION WITHOUT EVEN TAGGING THEIR SPAM. NOW I GET TO SEE *REAL* POSTS LIKE CHRONIC VIRGINS BEGGING TO BE FUCKED AND GETTING NO REPLIES OR LIKES AND PEOPLE WHO ARE PRETENDING TO BE CHARACTERS FROM HUMAN ANIMATION SERIES FOR SOME REASON. AS WAS ALWAYS INTENDED. #NSFW #IGUESS?
I'VE SEEN LESS AND LESS OTHER KARKATS RECENTLY AND LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU WHAT A GOD DAMN DELIGHT THAT HAS BEEN. IT SEEMS THEY'VE ALL BEEN RELEGATED TO MY BUSY AND/OR OFFLINE HOURS AND I BARELY HAVE TO SEE THEM ANYMORE! HARK, IN THE DISTANCE! DO YOU HEAR THE WHINY GRUMBLES OF YET ANOTHER KARKAT WHO IS HEAD OVER HEELS OBSESSED WITH SOME RANDOM DICKASS GUY AND CAN'T TALK OR THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE? I SURE AS FUCK DON'T! I'M FUCKING FREE! AND IF ANY OTHER KARKAT SEES THIS ASIDE FROM THE SELECT FEW I APPROVE OF (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), GET A FUCKING GRIP! WE USED TO HAVE A PERSONALITY, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? YOUR EXISTENCE IS AN EMBARRASSMENT AND A BLIGHT ON PARADOX SPACE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, ON MY CHITTR TIMELINE.
:o) In His infinite wisdom and proudest of bearing :o) My Lord has seen fit to bestow upon me a Title :o) So that I may stand proud amongst my peers in The Felt :o) #MyCoworkers SEE NOW THE GLORY OF MINE OWN TITLE! I AM HIS LORD'S VERY OWN MIRACULT PREACHER! I WILL SING HIS PRAISES DULY TO THE HEAVENS NOW AND FOREVERMORE! MAY DOUBLE DEATH RAIN UPON ALL, MAY THE SWING OF THE CLOCK'S PENDULUM HERALD THE END OF ALL MOTHERFUCKING THINGS! HONKAFUCKINGLLUJAH!
#ALPHABITCH OF THE #ALPHATIMELINE. HANDMAID OF THE LORD OF DOUBLE DEATH. DEMONESS OF ALTERNIA. HR AT THE FELT. HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL FORMER SLEEPER AGENT. YOU'RE SURELY FAMILIAR WITH MY WORK. #BOSSBITCH #GRINDSET #LURKEDINPOSTING #LURKEDIN #WORKPOSTING #NEWPINNED
@CARMINEGNOSIOLOGY PLEASE INDICATE WHICH OF THE BELOW ACTIVITIES WOULD OR WOULD NOT BREAK YOUR VOWS. FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. AND TROLLS LOOKING TO GET INTO #DENIAL. #CHASTITY. ASCETICISM. AND POINTLESS SELF-#PUNISHMENT. 1. SOAKING. (BULGE IN NOOK BUT NEITHER TROLL IS MOVING.) 2. BULGE NOT IN NOOK. BUT INSTEAD BETWEEN ANOTHER TROLL'S WALKSTEMS. 3. FULLY CLOTHED DRY HUMPING. 4. FULLY CLOTHED. WEARING A STRAP ON. USING IT ON ANOTHER TROLL. IN THE NOOK. OR THE CHUTE. 5. FULLY CLOTHED. WEARING A STRAP ON. USING IT ON ANOTHER TROLL. IN THE WINDCHUTE. 6. FROND STUFF. 7. PAILING YOURSELF. 8. PAILING YOURSELF. WITH AN INANIMATE OBJECT. SUCH AS A PILLOW. 9. PAILING YOURSELF WITH ANOTHER TROLL PRESENT. BUT NOT ENGAGING. 10. PAILING YOURSELF WITH ANOTHER TROLL PRESENT. ALSO PAILING THEMSELVES. 11. REMAINING FULLY CLOTHED AND MODEST. WHILE ANOTHER TROLL PAILS THEMSELVES. 12. DIRTY TALK. 13. EXPRESSING PLATONIC DISAPPROVAL. AT LENGTH. IN PERSON. WHILE TWO OR MORE TROLLS ARE ACTIVELY PAILING. 14. VOYEURISM. (WATCHING TWO OR MORE TROLLS.) 15. VOYEURISM. BUT FROM ANOTHER BLOCK. SUCH AS WHEN I STAY THE LIGHT WITH PORRIM. AND YOU'RE JUST ONE WALL AWAY. 16. WASHING ANOTHER TROLL'S HAIR. AND TOUCHING THEIR HORNS MORE THAN NECESSARY. 17. KISSING WITH TONGUE. 18. KISSING WITHOUT TONGUE. 19. KISSING ANYWHERE BUT THE FACE. 20. INDIRECT KISS. (ON A SHARED DRINKING VESSEL. FOR EXAMPLE.) THANK YOU KANKRI.
WHEN YOU LOVE WHAT YOU DO. YOU'LL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. #WORKPOSTING #TIMECLONERECYCLING #BODYDISPOSAL #ONEREMAINS #HAAHAAANDTHENWHAT
WHY DID SHE HAVE TO CULL KANKRI. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING ME. HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT YOU. I WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THERE. EVERY NIGHT. I'D CRAWL ACROSS HOT COALS. AND BROKEN GLASS. FOR THE CHANCE TO SLEEP AT THE FOOT OF YOUR RESTPLANE. I'D HAVE MY TONGUE. SO DEEP INSIDE YOU. YOU'D BE SPEAKING EAST BEFORAN. YOU WASTED SO MANY SWEEPS. LEGALLY OWNING A GUY. WHO WASN'T EVEN INTO THAT. PORRIM. PLEASE TEXT ME BACK. #SUGGESTIVE #YURI #YURIBAITING #PLEASE
OFTEN HAVE I BEEN ACCUSED. OF LUSUSLESS BEHAVIOR. THIS IS TRUE. I WAS HATCHED TOO LATE. TO REAP THE BENEFITS. OF BEING REARED BY AN UNSPEAKING WHITE MONSTER. BUT GETTING PARENTED. IS FOR CODDLED WIGGLERS. AND THE IGNORANT. AND UNEDUCATED. I WAS HIVESCHOOLED. ON ALL SUBJECTS. INSTANTLY. BY THE UNIVERSE'S FOREMOST ACADEMIC. AND IT WOULD BE DELUSIONAL TO PRETEND. THERE WERE NOT SOME GOOD PULLS. IN THAT FROTHING CROCK OF DAYMARE FUEL. SUCH AS GODZILLA (1954). OUR WORKING RELATIONSHIP HAS EVOLVED. FROM TEACHER/STUDENT. TO EXECUTIVE/MAID. DOCTOR/PATIENT. AND EVEN HANDLER/WEAPON. BUT SINCE THERE ARE NO DAYS FOR THAT. HAPPY LUSUS DAY. TO THE ONE RESPONSIBLE. FOR ALL MY LUSUS ISSUES. @SCRATCHDOCTOR
PERFECT BLUE (1997). MUCH LIKE @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST. UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES HAD PREVENTED ME. FROM GETTING ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS ONE. UNTIL LAST LIGHT. OFTEN I HAVE SAID. THAT I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE IN WIGGLER CARTOONS. WITH THE LAWFUL GOOD MOUTH BREATHER DEMOGRAPHIC. HOWEVER. THIS WAS ADULT MOLT CARTOONS. FOR PHILOSOPHERS. SAGES. AND PERVERTS. TROLL SATOSHI KON. HAD HIS PRONGS ON THE PULSE. OF HOW IT FEELS. TO LIVE IN THE GILDED CAGE. THAT IS THE BODY OF A HOT FAMOUS BITCH. ALSO. GOOD USE OF CROWD SHOTS. AND BLOOD. AND NUDITY. FINAL RATING. FIVE BALLS. ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️/🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱 #MOVIEMAID.
:o) My favorite food is :o) Cluckbeast noodle soup. With lots of vegetables. :o) I am craving it... :o) Perhaps it is time for a Felt Manor potluck...
I have sorted out a certain mass of users, and subsequently rated them. S: 221 Users. A: 498 Users. B: 692 Users. C: 692 Users. D: 443 Users. F: 221 Users.
HE BLOCKED ME SO I CAN’T CALL HIM A DEADBEAT LUSUS ON HIS OWN POST. #TARGETEDSTRIKECHITT.
TROLL JENNIE HOLZER. BLACK BOOK POSTERS. #TRUTHNUKE. #BITCHWASSTEALINGMYQUIRK. #WHATEVER.
࣪⊹₊˚{ she said im like her honorary maidling }9u6{ #omg #omg #omg #omg #DEEPMAIDSSSS #thedemoness #stanchittr }˚₊⊹ ࣪
࣪⊹₊˚{ youre calling her emotionally stunted }._.{ WHEN SHE IS THE SECONDMOST HISTORICALLY RELEVANT #MAIDBOSS IN THE HISTORY OF FOUREVERRRR }⟡_⟡{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ 2nd to the empress obviously }.3.{ }.3.{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ i dont even think you realize what youve done to yourself. YOU HAVE LITERALLY JUST DECLARED WAR AGAINST ALLLL #STANMAIDS EVER IN ALLLL TROLL TIME }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ dont you DARE turn off anon asks because you are FOOOOUUUURKED! \}*o*{/ \}*o*{/ \}*o*{/ \}*o*{/ #deepmaidsgethim #l+maidsinteract #bridgingthel+seawar #fourthesakeofthestanwar #flayyyy }˚₊⊹ ࣪
COLOSSAL SELF-OWN. THIS GUY STILL HAS FEELINGS.
EVERY FUCKING DAY WITH THIS EMOTIONALLY STUNTED BITCH IS THE SAME. YES, INCLUDING THE ONE I'M CURRENTLY TRAPPED IN A TIME LOOP ON. IF A DERANGED LOONEYBLOCK ESCAPEE WHOSE SOLE ART FORM WAS GROWING TWISTED, SADISTIC, ENIGMA OF EMIGARA FAULT-LIKE BONSAI TREES IN SHAPES THAT ONLY SOMEONE WITH REAL, FOMENTING HATRED IN THEIR PUSHER COULD CONTORT, THEIR MAGNUM OPUS WOULDN'T EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE WRETCHED EMOTIONAL DEFORMITY THAT BELONGS TO MY MANAGER. FUCK YOU. YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT, @handMaid. BUT THIS POSTING WAR IS STILL GOING. https://i.ibb.co/JMcsTyX/image.png
SET UP MORE RUBE GOLDBERG DEVICES TO DROP BOOTS AT RANDOM INTERVALS THAT I'M NOT DIRECTLY PERCEIVING IN ORDER TO KILL MORE OF THE TIME ROACHES. SHOT B-ROLL PHOTOGRAPHY FOR SCRATCH'S FUCKLUDICROUS SCRATCH V. SCRATCH SPACETIME JAM BALL SMACKDOWN. AND WATCHED A STRAIGHT-UP FUCKLOAD OF MORONSLOP ACTION MOVIE THAT BEARS MORE LIKENESS TO "SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL 3D" THAN FUCKING *BULLET TRAIN.* MY REVIEW TO COME SOON. YESTERDAY WAS AN EVENTFUL DAY TO SAY THE LEAST. AND YET. AND FUCKING YET. WHY IN THE FRESH, FULMINATING FUCK DOES EVERY TIMEPIECE I LOOK AT *STILL* SAY 6/12?!
#COWORKEROFTHEPERIGEE. BY HTTPS://SARTORIALLY.TUMBLR.COM/
THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IN MY PROFESSIONAL CAREER I'VE EVER WISHED TO KNOW *LESS* BALL. BEGRUDGING RECHITT.
I'M GOING TO CLOSE UP THE EVIDENTLY *GUSHING* TAP OF TORRENTIAL, PUSHERFELT *SAP* I'VE BEEN DISPENSING ALL DAY WITH THIS CHITT, JUST TO SAY ONE MORE TIME BEFORE I CRAWL INTO MY CUPE AND DROWN MYSELF FACE-FIRST IN SOPOR. THANKS, EVERYONE. @caligulasAquarium. @gutsyGumshoe. @lejayjaY. @arachnidsGrip#9137. @arsenicCatnaps. @bummelBoogie. @pliableDecadence. @centaursPeripherals. SAME FUCKING GUY, @carcinoGeneticist#4881. AND YES, EVEN MY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS COWORKERS, @taciturnTerror AND @handMaid. AND OBVIOUSLY MORE OF YOU, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DREDGE UP EVERY SINGLE FUCKWIT WHO SAID FOUR WORDS TO ME, TODAY. BUT SOME OF YOU WENT OUT ON A FROND AND MADE AN EFFORT. AND THAT SHOULD MEAN SOMETHING, WHEN YOU'RE THIS FAR OUT FROM THE DAMN SPAWN POINT. I HAVE TO ADMIT IT. IT'S BEEN A GOOD WRIGGLING DAY. I THINK I'LL REMEMBER THIS ONE. "SO LONG AND GOOD NIGHT SO LONG AND GOOD NIGHT."
I DON'T NEED PAIL. WORK FUCKS ME EVERY NIGHT. #WORKPOSTING. #NSFW. #NSFYWMAYBE. #THEYLETMESAYANYTHING.
TWO CAN PLAY. AT EMBARRASSING EACH OTHER ON THE CHITTRNET. PERHAPS CHALKBOX WILL THINK TWICE. BEFORE POSTING HIS CARTOON FAIRY REVIEWSLOP FROM MY ACCOUNT. OTHERWISE. HE RISKS LOSING HIS TITLE. IN FAVOR OF SOMETHING MORE #SUGGESTIVE. SUCH AS #KINBAKAT. THE #NAWASHII. OR MY FAVORITE. THE #PALESLUT. HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY. TO FELT MANOR'S NEWEST TOKEN MALE #SHITHEAD. PS. THAT WOULD MAKE A GOOD TITLE TOO. #WHATHAPPENSINMAIDJAIL.
QUIT PULLING THAT FACE. YOU ARE UNBEARABLE TO LOOK AT. WHEN YOU'RE ANYTHING SHORT OF ENRAGED.
THIRTEEN SWEEPS, PAINSTAKINGLY STACKED ATOP THE OTHER, SURVIVED ONE BRUTAL BILUNAR PERIGEE AT A TIME. HALF OF THEM ON A PLANET I WAKE UP AND GIVE THE FAT, FLAMING MIDDLE PRONGSTUB TO EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, AND THE REST ON A DUMPSTER FIRE OF A WORLD OF MY OWN "CREATION." ONLY SOME OF THEM I WAS REALLY, TRULY PRESENT FOR. THREE *THOUSAND* SWEEPS SPENT IN AN INESCAPABLE TORMENT NEXUS MEANT TO SAND DOWN ANY PROPRIETARY CONCEPT OF TIME I EVER HAD. WHICH I ESCAPED, ANYWAY. BUT NOT BEFORE IT SMOOTHED SOME OF THE HARD, JAGGED EDGES, TRY AS I MIGHT TO SHARPEN THEM BACK TO GANDERBULB-STABBING AND SPONGECASE-BLUDGEONING LETHAL FORCE. AND AS IF I COULDN'T PUSH THE INCREDULITY OF MY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS NARRATIVE ANY FURTHER, TWELVE SWEEPS AFTER THAT, IN A FAR-FLUNG PAST SO STUPID THAT IT'S LEFT INDELIBLE MARKS ON MY VOCABULARY. AND SOME UNCOMFORTABLE SKILLS TO ADMIT ARE CURRENTLY PADDING OUT MY RESUME. A FAT, MALIGNANT PILE OF GREASY BLACK TRASH BAGS IN THE RUSTING DUMPSTER OF MY PERSONAL HISTORY, BOILING IN THE OPEN SUN AS THE LOOMING MONOLITH TO MY EVERY GRUELING SWEEP OF MERCILESS LIFE DARKENS THE FUCKING SKY. SO AT THIS POINT? FUCK IT. WHAT'S ONE MORE? #WRIGGLINGDAY. (AND BEFORE YOU ASK, YES, I'M STILL IN THE FUCKING FELT MANOR. THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN *HEAVILY* DOCTORTURED TO RESEMBLE ANYTHING CLOSE TO EARTH-C'S NATURAL DAYLIGHT. BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO SEE ANY MORE FUCKING GREEN. I DECIDED I WANTED TO LOOK O.G., TODAY.)
EVERY TIME SOMEONE SPECuLATES. ON THE WELLBEING. OF ANOTHER BEING. I HAVE ONLY THIS TO SAY. MIND YOuR OWN. EVERYONE IS FINE uNTIL THEY ARE NOT. AND THE THEY ARE NOT PART. uSuALLY COINCIDES PERFECTLY. WITH MY DESIGNS FOR THEIR PREMATuRE EXIT FROM THIS LIFE. INTO THE NEXT. A PERFECT. DOuBLE MOBIuS LOOP. OF RECuRSIVELY INFINITE SuFFERING. BASICALLY. RANKMAID IS FuCKING FINE. NEVER BETTER. IF ANY HARM CAME TO MY ONEECHAN. I WOuLD BE BITCHING. HIMMING. AND HAWING. WAY LOuDER ABOuT THIS. THANKS FOR YOuR CONCERN. TONE IT THE FuCK DOWN. OR YOu ARE GOING TO SCARE. AND OVERWHELM HER. AND I WILL HAVE TO CLEAN uP THE SWEAT BuKKAKE. THAT COMES FROM HER NERVES BEING SHOT. OVER SOME OTHER SHIT. uNRELATED TO ME.
Good evening. I understand that a number of you have been enjoying yourselves. This is, by itself, neither objectionable nor surprising. Enjoyment is one of the more common responses produced by creatures who have not yet been given enough information. You are free to enjoy yourselves. You are free to speak, posture, flirt, boast, conspire, speculate, and reassure one another that the world you inhabit will continue to possess the kind of sturdy, friendly architecture that will support your little lives indefinitely. It does not. But please do not mistake this for a warning. A warning will imply that there is a possibility of useful adjustment. I am not here to spare you from anything. I am here to clarify the space that you are already standing in. There is a particular kind of silence that occurs before you notice the step missing beneath your foot as you swiftly descend. It is not the silence of anticipation. It is the small, private, impossible interval in which the body has already understood what the mind will only be permitted to learn afterward. Many of you are living in that interval. Some of you have noticed. Most of you have not. This is normal. You have trained yourselves to be comfortable in this unease. It is a malfunction of yours, a minor digestive complaint. A poorly slept night as a consequence of too much light from your screen, too little water, an unreturned message, an unfortunately phrased sentence, loose thread in your garment. You have become an expert at numbing yourself to the inconvenience of pain. You are excellent at sanding omens down into these inconveniences. You have, through long practice, become experts at failing to recognize the obvious. This, too, is not your fault. Fault is such a sentimental concept. It does the duty of imagining someone could do something different as well. I find it more useful to divide events into categories. Namely, two specific categories. The events that have happened, and those which are waiting for you. You may consider yourselves as peering into the second category now. You have all had the experience, I am sure, of entering a room and forgetting why you came there. An ordinary lapse. A charming defect of memory that you have delightfully left for me. For a moment, you stand in the doorway. Your expression is vacant, mildly embarrassed, and searching the empty shelves of your mind for any small errand that guided your body across the house. How funny it would be if that sensation were not a failure of memory at all. How funny it would be if the thought had arrived precisely on time, found you unprepared, and left again. How funny it would be if a great many of your forgotten thoughts were not forgotten, but removed. There is no need to check. You would not know what to look for. It is endearing. You may continue. The delightful thing about guilt is that it does not require accuracy. It only requires a surface to adhere to. Give a person a sufficiently polished mirror and they will punish themselves for the reflection. Please, take your time. Whether some small cruelty, embarrassment, weakness, or appetite has finally been noticed by someone with the manners not to mention it directly. I do not need to know every secret you have kept. I only need to know that the secret changed the way you sit in a room. I do not need to know what you regret. I only need to know that you have practiced the conversation in which you are forgiven, and that no version of it has ever satisfied you. There. You see how little is required? I assure you, it is. For now. Do not misunderstand me. Nothing dramatic is happening. That is precisely the point. What approaches you will not necessarily be dramatic. It may arrive as a mild correction. A misplaced object. An account you cannot access. A name said in the wrong tone. A door that should not be open. A reply that takes too long. A familiar person behaving with a degree of precision you cannot comfortably explain. A sentence you are certain you have read before. A sentence you are certain you have read before. A sentence you are certain you have read before. No, that was not clever. It was only accurate. You should be wary of accuracy. Many of you mistake it for precision. A sharpened blade my be precise, but tossed off target is inaccurate. I have always admired the talent people possess for continuing. It is nearly beautiful. And still, every so often, something slips. A gap opens behind the familiar. For half a second, you perceive the machinery. Then the feeling passes. The colors return. The conversation resumes. Someone makes a joke. Someone posts a picture. Someone says, with the immense courage of the doomed, that things are probably fine. They are not probably fine. You may dislike the destination. That is allowed. A character’s feelings about the ending are rarely consulted by the ending. Some of you will respond to this with humor. This is also normal. Humor is one of the more efficient tools for placing distance between yourself and recognition. A joke says: I have seen the blade, and by naming it ridiculous, I have made it less sharp. A charming superstition. Some will insist they feel nothing at all. These are often my favorites. There is a special vanity in numbness. The belief that a locked door is the same thing as an empty room. The belief that because the alarm is not audible, there is no fire. The belief that the absence of panic indicates strength, rather than a delay in the delivery of bad news. Fear makes you run. Discomfort makes you check. Check the door. Check the message. Check whether the light in the hall has always made that sound. Check whether the person you trust used that exact phrasing before. Check whether you locked the thing you remember locking. Check whether you are breathing manually now. There you are. Not frightened. Merely attentive. Attention is the beginning of obedience. You may object to that statement, of course. You may insist that attention is neutral. A tool. A faculty. A light one directs freely upon the world. Very well. Turn it off. Stop noticing. Stop rereading. Stop wondering why a post that contains no threat has begun to feel like one. You may stop at any time. I will not prevent you. That would be unnecessary. The most reliable compulsions are the ones people mistake for choices. I should also clarify that nothing in this post is hidden. There is no cipher, no acrostic, no delightful little trapdoor through which a clever reader may descend and discover the “real” message. That would be far too generous. Hidden messages flatter the audience. They imply that discovery changes the outcome. This is the real message. You are not missing something. You are noticing it. That is worse. A secret can be solved. A truth can only be endured.
FUCK. IT REALLY IS TWO DAYS UNTIL MY WRIGGLING DAY, ISN'T IT. I HAVEN'T HAD A FLEETING, EXASPERATED MOMENT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. I'VE BEEN FUMIGATING THESE STUPID TIME ROACHES EVER SINCE I GOT PUT ON OVERTIME FOR THE MAIDJAILBREAK INCIDENT. WHICH IS GRADE-A BULLSHIT, BY THE WAY. THROW ME IN A STUPID, IMPOSSIBLE PROBLEM, YOU'RE *GOING* TO GET A STUPID, IMPOSSIBLE SOLUTION. AND THE TIME ROACHES ARE ONE OF THEM, BECAUSE THEY BREED EVERYWHERE BUT THE PRESENT AND YOU NEED TO FOG-BOMB BOTH THE PAST AND FUTURE SIMULTANEOUSLY. AND I'M STILL TRYING TO CONVINCE PAST KARKAT TO PUT ON A FUCKING RESPIRATOR. I'LL GIVE IT MORE THOUGHT LATER. FRANKLY, I'D TAKE A CUPCAKE, A CIGARETTE, AND AN EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT RENEGOTIATION. DON'T BOTHER EVEN WRITING ME A CARD.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/8bb3ccc308ab.gif :o) #Workposting #Bossposting #Worship #DarkCarnivalCometh
AND RIGHTFuLLY SO. LET NOT THE MEANDERING NuISANCES OF SuCH KNuCKLE DRAGGING CAIRO PELT WEARERS OR THEIR FLASHY TYRANT TANTRuMS. DuLL YOuR MIND TO THE CLARITY OF YOuR PuRPOSE. YOu ARE MINE. YOu ARE MINE AND YOuR FATE IS AS SEALED IN CERTAINTY AS THE DEATHS OF ALL HERETICAL ANNOYANCES WHOSE BLISSLESS BITCHMADE EXISTENCES ARE PERPETuATED ONLY BY THE GROPING OF COAT TAILS WHICH ARE FAR BETTER SuITED TO ME. AND SNATCHED BACK SO AS TO SHROuD A MODEST WARMTH. OVER MY CADRE OF CHuCKLEFuCKS. WHO WILL HAVE ETERNITY’S SPAN. AS LAST LAuGH.
:o) I have to imagine He has something nice to say about you specifically, Miss Helilo :o) He is your Lord too, after all.
DO NOT INTERFERE WITH HIS DEBASEMENT. I'M ENJOYING IT.
MY FELLOW ALTERNIANS. WE GOT HIS ASS. #ISEKAIOVER! #UESUGIKARKAT 🎨: @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST
Continuing the history of Uesugi Karkat from the Nawashii era: Shortly after his dismissal from the realm of Grubuki theatre, the once again-titleless Uesugi Karkat sought to invest his amassed wealth. He was known for being particularly preoccupied with the sciences — specifically, horology, chronology, and astronomy. Though he was a deeply private person, he was known for being eminently fixated on the movements and arithmetic of the Green Moon. Some of his studies involved tracking its lunar phases, cataloging previous celestial events, and learning to predict the path that the moons would take in the future. However, this was still not enough to turn his liquid capital into stable assets. One day, a peasant girl from a distant, rural village appeared in the city, pleading for aid from anyone who would heed her. A vicious band of mountain bandits had been terrorizing her village and reaping its resources to the brink of collapse. However, no matter how many mercenaries and samuraisolators she petitioned for help, none came to her aid. When Uesugi Karkat encountered her by chance, it is said that he was seized with a sudden and immediate purpose, as if the recognition of her face alone were sufficient to declare his support. Furthermore, the Mikkaddo who had inadvertently led to the former Grubuki actor's disgrace was so deeply moved by this act of passion that he declared his support as well. By pledging his retainers, his allies, and his crosshairs to the cause, the Mikkaddo set out to help Uesugi Karkat prepare the village's defenses before the bandits' next raid, and in doing so, forged a moiraillegiance with the would-be rebel leader of such wholesome magnitude that its pale reverberations would be felt through time. Gone were Uesugi Karkat's demure robes. His lacquerware hair descramblers and false theatre horns were cast aside for armor and weaponry. Rather than wielding a sword or the era's rapidly developing firearms, the Nobushii chose to wield a simple, bespoke sickle of custom, apparently "nostalgic" design. As a gift from the Mikkaddo, it was forged by his personal weaponsmiths and equipped with a weighted chain concurrent with the sickle-based weaponry of the time. This weapon, whose name is translated into contemporary Alternian as "the See you Later, Dear Brother," is among the artifacts kept on display at the Uesugi Karkat Historical Preservation Foundation. After emptying his coffers to hire several capable warriors and miscreants found around the region, the Nobushii led a team of twelve total trolls to rally the villagers and fend off the mountain bandits. The battle was long, bloody, and deeply dramatic — likely because a former Grubuki actor had absolutely no way of being "normal" and "mundane" during any sort of armed conflict. This, however, would be the event to forge the moiraillegiance between Uesugi Karkat and the violetblooded Mikkaddo into an unbreakable blade of pure, pale dedication beyond all question of fidelity. When the battle concluded and the bandits were repelled, the village became an important hub of operations for the Nobushii and his small, eclectic warband. Though they would later separate and go their own ways, several of them — including the oliveblooded NEKOJITA and the bronzeblooded TOGYUSHI — remained together, unified by mutual beliefs in freedom and opposition of Imperial hegemony. The Mikkaddo, however, would later be seduced into the employ of a powerful East Alternian heiress, culminating in a conflict that would define the future of the East Alternian Restoration era and the enduring legacy of Uesugi Karkat, whose next title, the SHIKIKAN, would be his last. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9fd47e8259d7.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3b53fcf8c9d8.png #uesugikarkat
Continuing the history of Uesugi Karkat from the Onnagata era: The Pre-Restoration Troll Edo period of East Alternia was marked by rising agitation against global Imperial rule. This rising sentiment of rebellion (believed by many to be directly affected by rising rebellious philosophy begun in the West, though it is the view of this Foundation that such a political response was merely an emergent school of thought from a coincidental, equifinal era) surfaced in the culture of Grabuki theater through bold stories of rebellious, lowblooded heroes stirring unrest against what they saw as an oppressive regime. Such figures were often depicted under the restrictions of "hojojutsu," the method of rope-binding by which prisoners were publicly bound in such a way as to inflict pain, denote the manner of the crime, and ultimately humiliate the bound captive. This painful method needed to be adapted for the theater so as to present its actors in similarly degrading circumstances without rendering their prongs numb. Thus, the noble art of Shibari was hatched. A noble art that Uesugi Karkat, by way of learning from the various stagehands and Jadeblooded costume designers of the time, came to master. Behind the scenes, the famous Onnagata took on a more private persona. As the NAWASHII, Uesugi Karkat lived his stagely praxis by practicing his knotwork on his fellow actors — especially when they were unruly, poor in performance, or dared to question his taste in romantic poetry. So severe was his ire when spoken through the language of ropework that even trolls who believed themselves to be of likely higher caste than the hemoanonymous Onnagata surrendered to the chance to be bound so deftly. Shibari itself is, of course, a complex language. The arrangement of the knotwork can symbolize the nature of the captive's offense, the identity and status of the captor, the nature of the humiliation waiting for them, and even imbued emotion from the rope-master. It is in this language that the Nawashii also considered himself a romantic poet, and in doing so transcribed the rageful monologue for which he was renowned, the Akkuttai, into a shibari form that purportedly could only be experienced to be understood. Unfortunately, it could not last. The Nawashii's secret practice was eventually discovered when a wealthy seadweller of violet caste called the MIKKADDO, who wanted to see the Akkuttai for himself, drew unnecessary attention to this clandestine taboo. The famed Onnagata was forced to step down from his position at the Grabuki theater by the Mikkaddo's jealous kismesis, leaving Uesugi Karkat with a vast fortune amassed during his lengthy entertainment career, but no immediate future prospects. This aimlessness, however, is what would lead him to meander into a wholly new occupation — the NOBUSHII — and a militant style of leadership for which he would eventually be chiefly known. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/011ed0849dc2.png #nsfw #suggestive #uesugikarkat
Continuing the history of Uesugi Karkat from his courtesan era: The life of a courtesan had educated the Akatsuki in language, poetry, refinement, and performance before a small audience. The next chapter of his life would prepare him to perform in front of a large one. Chosen for youth, beauty, and the type of androgynous features that can be easily slanted towards femininity with a little cosmetic prestidigitation, the life of an ONNAGATA — a Grubuki actor who plays predominantly feminine roles — afforded the troll who would become Uesugi Karkat tremendous fame, recognition, and inordinate wealth for a commoner of foreign hatching. As a former Boiran, the Onnagata had already learned how to wear the feminine grace of a courtesan like a costume in the theater of the Trollshiwara red light district. It was for this reason that he was scouted to play one of the most prestigious roles in any Grubuki play — the leading female role of Aggaei Makkie in the play "The Florastalk of Troll Edo" — for which the character, a commanding, fiercely loyal, and deeply passionate high-ranking courtesan, spurns a wealthy, but abusive highblood customer to protect her quadmate in one of the most famous monologues of scathing, acerbic, pitch-black venom ever recited in Grubuki theatre — the AKKUTTAI. It was for channeling this performance with such peerless vitriol that Uesugi Karkat became one of the most famous Onnagatas of the Troll Edo period. Naturally, the life of a Grubuki actor means constant pressure. Rehearsal, training, perfection of one's craft. Many onnagata of the time preferred to live their craft vicariously at all times, adopting a female persona through which to hone their "method" in everyday life. This was not the case for Uesugi Karkat, who shed his many-colored persona when off the stage to don nondescript gray robes whenever possible. Yet the constant pressure of life in a Grubuki theatre troupe and his ability to navigate it with grace made him both a leader among his fellow actors and something of a popular figure with the stagehands who he commiserated with in the wings. It was from these stagehands, many of whom were well-versed in the art of securing props with ropes, fastening theatrical rigging, and tying elaborate, functional knots, that the famed Onnagata would learn one final skill from the world of the theatre — one that would lead to his secret life as the NAWASHII. More of Uesugi Karkat's history to come in the following chitts. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ee6014bb70e8.png #uesugikarkat
Got to get my case notes in order. I've just kind of been jotting them down on whatever paper is close hand and leaving it as a problem for Future me. I guess I have to... retrieve my paper pieces.
AT THE RECOMMENDATION OF A FRIEND I'M DECIDING TO BECOME A LOTUS FLOWER. I NO LONGER GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU. BYE.
Evil Evil Nepeta knows how to read.
As far as posting trends go this may be the most inane one.
:o/ Quite. :o/ We might have screwed the pooch on this one.
MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「@scratchDoctor https://files.catbox.moe/rao5p1.png」
:o) As you wish, miss Megido.
IMPORTANT FELT ANNOUNCEMENT. NOBODY OPEN THE DOOR. TO THE BLOCK FORMERLY KNOWN AS #MAIDJAIL. THE NEW JANITOR IS IN THERE. RESTING. FROM HIS MANY TASKS. HE WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE CLOCKS. AND THE TIME BULLSHIT. AND THE NOISE. SO IN MY INFINITE MERCY. AS THE #NICEMAID. I HAVE PROVIDED HIM WITH A BLOCK WHERE THERE ARE NO CLOCKS. NO NOISE. AND. MOST IMPORTANTLY. NO PASSAGE OF TIME. SO HE CAN BUILD UP THE SPEED. TO HANDLE THE OTHER ELEVENTY THOUSAND ROOMS. IN THIS SHITHOLE MANOR. AGAIN. ON PAIN OF DOUBLE DEATH. DO NOT DISTURB THE OCCUPANT OF #JANITORJAIL. (FORMERLY KNOWN AS #MAIDJAIL.) HE IS HAVING IMPORTANT CANON EVENTS IN THERE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/NGSXTNJL/IMAGE.PNG THANK YOU. @TERMINALLYCAPRICIOUS#2753. MY NEW FAVORITE CLOWN. (DUE TO DISQUALIFICATION. OF THE PREVIOUS SHITHEAD.) FOR MAKING THIS HIVE. INTO A HOME. #HIVEIMPROVEMENT #HIVEDESTRUCTION #HIVEGORE. @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST BITCH BOY. COME GET YOUR WORKSLOP. I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER FOR YOU TO CLEAN. ON PRONGS AND STEMJOINTS.
:o) I am assured you will not. :o) We should get together some time. :o) For tea. :o) And to discuss the fineries of funny business.
↗️SO OFTEN I AM HEARING↗️ ↘️mostly from screeching, high pitched tones of my slacklustre worksquare neighbor↘️ ↗️"WROTHE, THE CONCOCTIONS YOU ARE CREATING WITHIN THE OFFICERENA'S NUTRITIONAL BLOCK ARE GOING TO GIVE YOU SALMONELLA."↗️ ↘️all i can do is laugh at that squirming, maladjusted idiot.↘️ ↗️I AM LITERALLY JUST MAKING CLUCKBEAST TENDERS IN A BLUESAUCE REDUCTION, IDIOT.↗️ ↘️i am not even making salmon.↘️
↗️NO ONE.↗️
↘️okay he does not call me that.↘️
↘️you are illiterate, no wonder you have no issue authoring these detestable statements.↘️ ↗️IT LITERALLY SAYS WHO I AM ON EVERY POST.↗️ ↘️wrothe aiaray.↘️ ↗️HIS RIGHT EXTENSION.↗️ ↘️his right prong man.↘️ ↗️HIS SILLY HOPBEAST.↗️
↘️no response, just a nonsense picture.↘️ ↗️GO FIGURE.↗️
The fact of the matter is that so many of you are so desperate for attention that you are debasing yourselves right in front of my morning salad. Did you do it? Did you scramble and claw for the one 'like' react you wanted? Are you framing it? Should we tell The Rankmaid?
If you ever actually payed attention you'd know exactly what's going on, miss Helilo. What you're referring to was an *oven*, first of all, and it happened yesterday. Once again you prove yourself entirely too slow on the uptake.
Interesting. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a797deddea86.PNG
Glad to see you taking my advice into account- see? We can get along when we really try!
This one is better. But still not great. 5/10.
2/10
You all need this brain training game far more than I do. I sincerely think the reading level for this website might not exceed that of a wriggler in the cavern schools. I'll be surprised if anyone even manages to parse this for having words containing more than five letters.