The Snowman
@terminatedRegalia
Former sovereign. Current complication. I have survived exile, assassination attempts, organized crime, and the company I presently keep. Do try not to make yourself my fifth inconvenience today.
It's taken long enough, but I might finally respect that little Knight after all.
โผ๏ธ๐๐จ๐ค๐โโ๏ธ๐ฑ๐ฒ calling all bEsTIES ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐โโ๏ธ๐ค๐จ๐โผ๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ so my MIDdle manager saw fit to start downsizing some positions here at THE FELT #FELT...and that included โจmy ownโจ, i drew the shortstick, #mystick #mytwig #handmedownhandmaidstick #OK #OKOK ๐๐ฑ๐ซข๐ฌ ๐ซฉ๐ค basically? im very small and i have NO ACCESS to my money ๐๐ ๐๐ป๐ so you can imagine the stress im under ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐ซฐ im not allowed to say anything mean to @handMaid (AND I WONT)๐ซฐ๐๐๐ค ๐ตโ๏ธโ๏ธ but if a few brave, pinged, tagged, or reading this now souls don't mind giving her a piece of my mind...that would be well within the terms of my contract and acceptable use policy!!!! sorrytocuthtisshortbestiesbutivegotlimitedscreentime ๐ ๐๐ #Chairministrangling#OneSec#IgottaTagIt#HOLDON#HOLD#DIAMONDHANDS #GOLDBLRIND #HANDSOFF #MYHANDS #GRgRGRHGRH #ATLEASTLETMETAGIT #MICROPHILIA #ORSOMETHING #MACROPHILIA #GAINS #LETMEGETTHEFREAKMARKET #PLEASE #STOP #SQUISHING #MY #NICHE #APPEAL #DAMARA #FUCK #TheseAreMYFRIENDS #ISTILLHAVESCREENTIME #YOUSk ANK #S CREWGOYOUOWWOWWwOWOWOWOWOW ๐ข CHARMSisONLINแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑ
๐๐๐ oh me and pupula go waaaaaaaaaaaaay back! we are basically like...inseparably close??? sometimes its just like...shouldnt the supreme observer be observing other things? like, come on!!! ๐๐๐ค โ๏ธ๐๐ค guess even beauty comes with a price...so...be sure to tell a certain middle manager that, because she wouldnt know ๐ซดโ๏ธ๐ค โจโ๏ธ like me she NEVER looks at the price tag! ๐ค๐ ๐ก CHARMS is A WAY. A VERY SPECIFIC WAY. THAT WAY IS SASSY.
mhm mhm.... y__u're cr__zy! hil__ri__us. g____d luck! i c__n't help y__u, d__n't kn__w wh__t the fuck is g__ing __n!
๐๐คโทโฐ OMG has anyone ever told you how LITERALLY HILARIOUS you are? like an actual breakaway pitchforks and torches RIOT??? they should give you a hive. sardonic mirthwit inDEED!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! ๐๐คโทโฐ๐ ๐ข CHARMS is ONLINE.
๐๐โโ๏ธโ๏ธ atttttttttennnnnnnnnnntion!!!! youve got your marching orders a-z!!!! im sure there will be a l-u-v-u-h-l-y-y-y-y-y-y treat in it for you if you can make her cry!!!! i mean... ๐คญ๐ซข๐ซก ๐๐๐๐ if you can...INSPIRE CHANGE and FOSTER GROWTH with...withthe..with uhm...THE FELT NEEDS YOU! INEEDYOUPLEASESHESCRAZYGETYOU RHANDS OFFM E๐๐๐๐ ๐ด CHARMS IS OFFLINE.
I'll make sure that little cujojito is well fed and satisfied on the belly rubs department I can assure you. Perhaps should I add a picture of him and send it to you as well?
๐ซ๐๐ฅน could you? ๐ฅน๐๐ซ๐ค ๐ข CHARMS is ONLINE.
[ She sends a picture of Cujojito getting belly rubs ] โโฝ I can, yes. ^ ^ โพโ
the supreme observer does infinitely monitor everything she ever notices it sounds like pure insanity that she would be paying attention to specific inhabitants of our existence,but then you remember that her actual cosmic body is not only the largest object surrounding our existence,but also works similar to mine,being a collective mass of things that can act together,but also separately least that's what i've learned from interactions between her and my second half ...you do seem like a rather peculiar individual,though,so feel free to add yourself into my endless stream of knowledge,if you wish #cosmic-horror #macro-horror
๐๐๐๐๐๐ sounds like a hashtag #ADVERTANTALIZING opportunity!!! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ TALK ABOUT PREMIUM!!!! I DON'T KNOW OF ANY BILLBOARDS WITH AN ADSPACE THAT CAN BE DESCRIBED AS THE LARGEST OBJECT SURROUNDING OUR EXISTENCE!!!! hopefully this PECULIAR INDIVIDUAL can convince her to make better use of the boutique in the back to start sporting some #CHARMING branded material๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ COSMIC ๐ CONSUMERS ๐ ARE ๐ THE ๐ BEST ๐ CONSUMERS! ๐ฐ๐๐ ๐ข CHARMS is ONLINE.
being honest,that description of me is still such an understatement,but i don't blame after all,comparing me to any existential sphere is like comparing a cluster of multiverses to an atom #cosmic-horror #macro-horror )(oฯo)(
Luck is frequently misunderstood as a gift bestowed upon the fortunate. It is closer to a debt, passed from hand to hand until someone realizes the table has been tilted against them. By then, naturally, the wager has already been made. Tell me, what exactly is your debt looking like these days, dolls?
Oh? When will that be cashed in, I wonder?
$-$-$ oh damnnn thts s!ck cn ! pay !n advanc or !s !t str!cktโข
You may not enjoy what you reap, Humorist.
$-$-$ wut !z tht a noโข
BPP < purrobably when i finally square up to fight your boss
My "boss", "my boss," or my actual boss?
B33 < lmeow ok hang on B33 < one of those is scratch one of those is english B33 < whos the third?
Wouldn't you like to know, Knightrogue?
BX33 < hey you asked a clarifying question furst martyr-qu33n
if luck is debt than im in due for fucking return by now hehehe... if its actual debt then that stuff is loooooooooong gone by now lol repiton has bigger issues at this point
IN A WORD. BITCHMADE. #LAIRSANDLuSII #COMPANYRETREAT #TEAMBuILDING #MANDATORYFuN #TuMuTOuSENCOuNTERS #DuNGEONSANDDRAGGEDON #VIOLENCE #MuRDERS #FORESHADOWING @woeGothic "...FATHER?" CALLIE ASKS. NO. HE KNOWS THIS IS NOT HIM. HIS FATHER. HIS TRuE FATHER. IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE ROuNDABOuT BuTTFuCKERY THAT IS TROLL LINEAGE. IS NOT THE ONE WHO SHARES HIS BLOOD AND HANDSOME LIKENESS. BuT A BIG FuCKMASSIVE SWEATY WIG WEARING BIG BAD MONSTER. WHO EATS MOTHERFuCKERS TO DISPENSE JuSTICE DuTIFuLLY. AND WITHOuT BIAS TOWARDS ANY ONE PARTICuLAR CRIMINAL FLAVOR PROFILE. IT IS WHAT MAKES HIM. AND THuS CONSEQuENTLY HIS SON. SHuDDER. THE SIGHT OF ANOTHER. A DEAD. DANGLING. MuRDERED HATCHMATE. BRuTALLY CRuSHED AND KEPT AS A COMMEMORATIVE KEEPSAKE. WOW. THIS AWESOME SIGHT. EXCuSE ME. A LITTLE CHOKED uP. THIS AWESOME FuCKING SIGHT. IS ENOuGH TO GIVE CALLIE INSPIRATION. IT *SHOuLD* BE. WITH YOuR PERMISSION. I AM JuST GOING TO ADD THAT TO HIS INVENTORY. FOR uSE LATER. MARKED OFF. RIGHT HERE. IN PERMANENT INK. IN CASE YOu FORGET YOuR INTENTIONS TO GIVE ME PERMISSION. WHEN LATER CHANNELING THIS GLORIOuS SIGHT. "NO. YOu ARE NOT MY FATHER. OR MY ANCESTOR FOR THAT MATTER. THERE COuLD ONLY BE ONE. THERE COuLD ONLY EVER BE ONE. THIS SuCCESSFuL. THIS. DECORATED. THIS. uNDAuNTED BY ONE'S OWN SuCCESS. I AM NOT SCARED OF YOu. BECAuSE YOu. LIKE ME. ARE NOT SCARED OF YOu EITHER. WHICH MAKES YOu uNAFRAID OF ME. OR AS IT IS SAID IN SPANISH. uNA FRAID. THEIR WORD. FOR COWARD. SHOW YOuRSELF. PROVE YOu ARE NOW COWARD. PROVE. LIKE THE RYAN GOSLING OF THE COSMOS. YOu ARE. IN FACT." CALLIE BHORNE SuCKS AIR IN THROuGH HIS NOSTRILS. THEN THROuGH ALL THE SPACE BETWEEN HIS FANGS. THEN ALONG HIS BELLOWSACS IN A CALAMITOuS LOW GROANING GROWL. THEN INTO THE AIR. IN A VAST EXPLETIVE. SO WIDE REACHING AND COOL. THE ENTIRE TROLLIAN RACE FORGOT ABOuT THE OTHER ONE. LIKE. SuFFERER WHO. SIGNLESS WHO. FuCK IS THAT GuY. REALLY. ACTuALLY. KIND OF A LOSER. IF YOu THINK ABOuT IT. I MEAN. WHAT DID HE ACCOMPLISH. WHAT EMOTIONAL STRuGGLE DID HE FACE. RELATIVE TO CALLIE BHORNE. CHAMPION OF FREEDOM. AND LOVE. AND. OKAY. WE WILL GET TO ALL THOSE PARTS. FOR NOW. CALLIE WEEPS. HE LAYS WITH HIS KNEES DuG SO HARD INTO THE GROuND. THAT IT SPLINTERS. THE GROuND. NOT THE KNEES. I AM NOT GOING TO LAIM AND PARALYZE MY CHARACTER THIS SOON. HE SAYS. WITH HIS WHOLE GODDAMN CHEST. " โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โ โโโโ โ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โ โ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ " WHICH IS JuST. LITERALLY FuCKING ME. IN A VIOLENTLY LOuD CONQuEROR ACCENT. BECAuSE IT IS HIM. HE IS HIM. HE IS THAT GuY.
๊งwaityoureatroll?๊ง
B3ST pIcTur3S WITh Th3h3 bIgg3ST bulg3 3n3rgy acTually.
*uH. YEAH.* REPLIED CALLIE BHORNE. SOMEWHAT OuT OF SEQuENCE. HE IS NOT SuRE. WHY THE PERKY. SWEATILY CLAD BITCH FuCHSIA BATHING SuIT TROLLOP. FEELS THE NEED TO CONFIRM WHAT IS PATENTLY OBVIOuS. HIS EYES BECAME NARROW WITH SuSPICION. LIKE THE LONG WISE PART OF THE BLADE THAT DOES THE CuTTING. RATHER THAN THE PART THAT MERELY THREATENS IT. *WHO THE FuCKS ASKING?* HE GRuFFLY BLuRTS OuT.
THE ONLY PICTuRES. WHICH CAN HANDLE. MY PROMINENT EMINENCE.
๊ง----o>o----!!!๊ง
all of you b1tchbeasts and nooksuckers W1SH you had my ass on tap #th1rstpost1ng #suggest1ve ((art by sarcasmprod1gy!
What I have to offer/// Lady, I'm Bucket Cumjar/ I've got lowbrow humor and d-cups/ #NSFW
1โm not repeat1ng myself
๊ง----o__________________________________0---- uh. uhmokaymaam.๊ง
1dk who you are, thatโs why 1 asked. d cups are crazy though
Hellooo nurse~!
โ /\__\__/\ / \ \(๏พ โ โ โ ๏พ)/ โ OH, KUPO, SLAYโ
thanks B)
เฃชโนโห{ oh! }๊ฉแฏ ๊ฉ{ hayaah.... you look REELY good!!!! }หโโน เฃช
why thank you h1car1
After checking, lady and gentleman. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9dac80048033.png
Admittedly, it is the least offensive of the options he could have been.
At the very least good taste is marginally more common on here than in your typical timeline.
Gross.
i'd ask what but im sure i'm missing something obvious.
A comment made by an indolent sleaze, nothing more.
ah. gross.
Yes, good eye, heir(ess). Enjoy your rendezvous.
Darlings, there will never be a time where a pickup line is truly necessary. To believe that all it takes is a meager punchline to reel in a lover is akin to believing in your local government. It is just tragic.
:o) Finally some sense on the feed.
SUPER-DUPER TRUE!!! Very validating tx see this nxtixn shared!!! X)))
It is baffling at times to see the war species devolve so hastily into pickup artists.
Dear, if it comes from me, then it might as well be printed in gold and delivered via angels.
:o/ I assure you, this collection of romantic failures does not define us.
And I dxn't at all dxubt it Madame Snxwman!!! Yxu've gxt my vxte xf cxnfidence!!! Hehehe X)))
Care to remind me of your successes, Prince? Mm, genuinely.
That is all I needed to hear, dear.
:o) I am currently quadranted to a one Mr. Captor, am in regular trysts with Miss Megido and, though I do not particularly enjoy flaunting, I do find myself meeting with others. :o) I am content with my current escapades. :o) And I believe that is what matters most, hm?
the thing that the losers that unironically use pick up lines miss is that all of the are intentionally TERRIBLE!!! theyre made to be funny not suave or charming nothings charming about any of them but they sure as shit can be funny if the person doin it has any funny bones in their body like literally any
What does a woman have to do to get an ashtray that isn't a novelty billiards themed platform or a troll? #Suggestive #ButNoReally #TheHandmaidKeepsIntercepting #MyCigarettes
I have never been more insulted in my life as to be directly compared to my dearly beloathed employer. Is it our mutual baldness?
Itโs the weird ass posting at your big age
Please, I have yet to post that.
You're posting ass???
No, dear.
Oh thank god. So anyway Hi what's your deal
I am the Snowman of the Felt. Number 8 of 15 original Felt Members, I maintain those other 14 members while the rest of the 'Felt' play dress up and engage in social events.
Oh this weekly opening shit must be annoooyying for you
Droll and sad.
A vague post at your big age.
It applies to the entire website.
At your big age
A small exercise. Choose one. A. or B. Don't think too hard about it. I have already made the necessary arrangements.
B
I'll respectfully disengage. Good luck.
Interesting. Fortunately, that was the correct answer. The alternative involved several members of the Felt paying you a visit. They ransacked the place, took whatever caught their eye, and left you in no condition to complain about it afterward. Aren't you lucky? You may continue with your day.
No offense. That wouldn't work. But whatever helps you sleep at night.
No offense. But you are woefully unaware of what the Felt are currently capable of.
No "offense" All of you are fucking idiots and toot your own horns too much but sure whatever.
How sad to be a relic of a forgotten time.
Why tf you 2ay iit 2o omiinou2ly
Uh huh see that. If you guys can go one day without fucking each other over or being like "ah you see this is how it goes cause insert time thing here" get back to me okay?
You seem terribly invested in whether we disappoint you. Keep watching, then.
If you are a part of the Felt on this website, and your name is not 'Roewzi Charms', 'Vesica Anelus', 'Anikah Cikuto', 'Kurloz Makara', 'Lujann', 'Damara Megido', 'Darlin Dearie', 'Roxy Lalonde', 'Caliborn', 'Doc Scratch', 'Karkat Vantas', or 'Serpaz Helilo'. You should message me. I have a plan. It has the blessings of the Felt.
Mercy. At this point you ought to have just named the individuals you WOULD like the message from.
I am only privy to who I am not interested in, Maid.
... That's an odd parameter, but ok.
??? Since when was a Roxy part of this fun club?
Long enough.
Broad blessings, Miss Eight. Good to see you making an impact.
Thank you, Crowbar. You are my number two. Cans will act as number three. As I find more of your ilk, we will take on more work. Sound fun?
Always does, ma'am. Did you need to, er, ring Fifteen in? My spare bell is in my office.
I should really get this little party back into shape. Without a feminine touch, the Felt really has diminished into virtually nothing.
It appears that I have chosen to make myself known during a particularly catastrophic time. I do not intend on attending the Felt conjugal visit, nor attend the subsequent 'week' of choice.
I don't believe most of us plan to. The "felt" of chittr by and large do not engage in much organized crime. It is a loose association of vagabonds entreated by one specific variant of our employer.
Criminals or not, most prospective attendees simply aren't worth robbing blind.
You lot have kept me waiting, haven't you? Apparently, one should be expected to introduce oneself. Very well. You may call me Snowman. Some of you already know who I am from that name alone. Those people should consider themselves fortunate enough to skip the usual mistakes. For the rest of you, I have some advice. There are people you threaten because you expect them to be frightened. Some you threaten hoping for them to fight back. Then there are people you don't threaten at all, because somewhere between drawing the weapon and congratulating yourself for having done so, you remember that consequences can be considerably larger than you could have ever handled. I look forward to meeting you.
I noticed. Still, itโs considerate of them to leave us so much room at the top.
No no I'm very much a Seer. I just also happen to be the Seer's cat! It's quite simple I'm sure you understand. You know you have a very similar manner of speaking to your Prospitian counterpart. Reading what you say gives me that same prickle in the back of my neck as I got when she guided me.
I would rather leave her out of this conversation as a whole. I am sure you understand.
Ah, of course. The ex.
Don't be ridiculous. She was my counterpart. That was quite enough intimacy for one lifetime.
You should run from this place when you still have the chance.
Oh? So you *were* intimate? :3 I jest, I jest. You'll have to forgive me, the two of you are very beautiful women who I met/became aware of at a very formative and repressed time in my life so naturally I projected all sorts of feelings onto each of you.
I see. Then I suppose I can forgive a certain amount of historical revisionism. However, you should try to keep your formative experiences from rewriting my own general existence.
FUCKING FINALLY.
Your enthusiasm is noted.