ARQUIUSPRITE
@aRquiusprite
Show me your muscles. Weaklings DNI
โฅโถโโค โ> I feel a slight imbalance, yet, I do not stand โฅโถโโค โ> A curious curiosity
โฅโถโโค โ> A long day at the long day factory โฅโถโโค โ> I wish it were the STRONG day factory
Hey big guy!
โฅโถโโค โ> Oh โฅโถโโค โ> Hello โฅโถโโค โ> I fi%ed my quirking on this website โฅโถโโค โ> How are you, Aloysi
it looks much nicer now! :D im doing ok! been busy digging up skeletons mostly
โฅโถโโค โ> I see โฅโถโโค โ> Is it fulfilling
its... okay! kind of boring just finding trolls.. i want to see beasts!
โฅโถโโค โ> Perhaps you should go where the beasts were โฅโถโโค โ> Which is usually not where the trolls were
ive been trying! all these mass graves are boring :/ if you know a good area please let me know
โฅโถโโค โ> It is an inherent flaw in bodybuilding โฅโถโโค โ> That being the length of the barbell can only get so long โฅโถโโค โ> It can only be so resistant to my own STRENGTH as well as the weight of the weights โฅโถโโค โ> How humiliating it is that I have to fabricate STRONG, longer rods
โฅโถโโค โ> I thought it was raining. It was merely my own precipitation draining from the upstairs balcony and catching up to me. โฅโถโโค โ> This is mostly a joke.
8=l < I want to laugh but I have limits too
โผ๏ธ๐๐จ๐ค๐โโ๏ธ๐ฑ๐ฒ calling all bEsTIES ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐โโ๏ธ๐ค๐จ๐โผ๏ธ ๐๐๐๐ so my MIDdle manager saw fit to start downsizing some positions here at THE FELT #FELT...and that included โจmy ownโจ, i drew the shortstick, #mystick #mytwig #handmedownhandmaidstick #OK #OKOK ๐๐ฑ๐ซข๐ฌ ๐ซฉ๐ค basically? im very small and i have NO ACCESS to my money ๐๐ ๐๐ป๐ so you can imagine the stress im under ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ค๐ซฐ im not allowed to say anything mean to @handMaid (AND I WONT)๐ซฐ๐๐๐ค ๐ตโ๏ธโ๏ธ but if a few brave, pinged, tagged, or reading this now souls don't mind giving her a piece of my mind...that would be well within the terms of my contract and acceptable use policy!!!! sorrytocuthtisshortbestiesbutivegotlimitedscreentime ๐ ๐๐ #Chairministrangling#OneSec#IgottaTagIt#HOLDON#HOLD#DIAMONDHANDS #GOLDBLRIND #HANDSOFF #MYHANDS #GRgRGRHGRH #ATLEASTLETMETAGIT #MICROPHILIA #ORSOMETHING #MACROPHILIA #GAINS #LETMEGETTHEFREAKMARKET #PLEASE #STOP #SQUISHING #MY #NICHE #APPEAL #DAMARA #FUCK #TheseAreMYFRIENDS #ISTILLHAVESCREENTIME #YOUSk ANK #S CREWGOYOUOWWOWWwOWOWOWOWOW ๐ข CHARMSisONLINแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑแดฑ
๐๐๐ oh me and pupula go waaaaaaaaaaaaay back! we are basically like...inseparably close??? sometimes its just like...shouldnt the supreme observer be observing other things? like, come on!!! ๐๐๐ค โ๏ธ๐๐ค guess even beauty comes with a price...so...be sure to tell a certain middle manager that, because she wouldnt know ๐ซดโ๏ธ๐ค โจโ๏ธ like me she NEVER looks at the price tag! ๐ค๐ ๐ก CHARMS is A WAY. A VERY SPECIFIC WAY. THAT WAY IS SASSY.
mhm mhm.... y__u're cr__zy! hil__ri__us. g____d luck! i c__n't help y__u, d__n't kn__w wh__t the fuck is g__ing __n!
๐๐คโทโฐ OMG has anyone ever told you how LITERALLY HILARIOUS you are? like an actual breakaway pitchforks and torches RIOT??? they should give you a hive. sardonic mirthwit inDEED!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! ๐๐คโทโฐ๐ ๐ข CHARMS is ONLINE.
๐๐โโ๏ธโ๏ธ atttttttttennnnnnnnnnntion!!!! youve got your marching orders a-z!!!! im sure there will be a l-u-v-u-h-l-y-y-y-y-y-y treat in it for you if you can make her cry!!!! i mean... ๐คญ๐ซข๐ซก ๐๐๐๐ if you can...INSPIRE CHANGE and FOSTER GROWTH with...withthe..with uhm...THE FELT NEEDS YOU! INEEDYOUPLEASESHESCRAZYGETYOU RHANDS OFFM E๐๐๐๐ ๐ด CHARMS IS OFFLINE.
I'll make sure that little cujojito is well fed and satisfied on the belly rubs department I can assure you. Perhaps should I add a picture of him and send it to you as well?
๐ซ๐๐ฅน could you? ๐ฅน๐๐ซ๐ค ๐ข CHARMS is ONLINE.
[ She sends a picture of Cujojito getting belly rubs ] โโฝ I can, yes. ^ ^ โพโ
the supreme observer does infinitely monitor everything she ever notices it sounds like pure insanity that she would be paying attention to specific inhabitants of our existence,but then you remember that her actual cosmic body is not only the largest object surrounding our existence,but also works similar to mine,being a collective mass of things that can act together,but also separately least that's what i've learned from interactions between her and my second half ...you do seem like a rather peculiar individual,though,so feel free to add yourself into my endless stream of knowledge,if you wish #cosmic-horror #macro-horror
๐๐๐๐๐๐ sounds like a hashtag #ADVERTANTALIZING opportunity!!! ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ TALK ABOUT PREMIUM!!!! I DON'T KNOW OF ANY BILLBOARDS WITH AN ADSPACE THAT CAN BE DESCRIBED AS THE LARGEST OBJECT SURROUNDING OUR EXISTENCE!!!! hopefully this PECULIAR INDIVIDUAL can convince her to make better use of the boutique in the back to start sporting some #CHARMING branded material๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐๐ COSMIC ๐ CONSUMERS ๐ ARE ๐ THE ๐ BEST ๐ CONSUMERS! ๐ฐ๐๐ ๐ข CHARMS is ONLINE.
being honest,that description of me is still such an understatement,but i don't blame after all,comparing me to any existential sphere is like comparing a cluster of multiverses to an atom #cosmic-horror #macro-horror )(oฯo)(
โฅโถโโค โ> I will do my best not to break your warrior's spirit. โฅโถโโค โ> But know that I am only using 1% of my STRENGTH.
DISSPICABLE. USE 100%. SHOE US YOUR TRUE RAW POWER. BLAST THE AVERAGE CHITTR USERS SHIT SMOOVE OFF WITH ONE FLEX. RELEASE THE BEAST WITHIN. โEMBER๐ฅ
IN A WORD. BITCHMADE. #LAIRSANDLuSII #COMPANYRETREAT #TEAMBuILDING #MANDATORYFuN #TuMuTOuSENCOuNTERS #DuNGEONSANDDRAGGEDON #VIOLENCE #MuRDERS #FORESHADOWING @woeGothic "...FATHER?" CALLIE ASKS. NO. HE KNOWS THIS IS NOT HIM. HIS FATHER. HIS TRuE FATHER. IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE ROuNDABOuT BuTTFuCKERY THAT IS TROLL LINEAGE. IS NOT THE ONE WHO SHARES HIS BLOOD AND HANDSOME LIKENESS. BuT A BIG FuCKMASSIVE SWEATY WIG WEARING BIG BAD MONSTER. WHO EATS MOTHERFuCKERS TO DISPENSE JuSTICE DuTIFuLLY. AND WITHOuT BIAS TOWARDS ANY ONE PARTICuLAR CRIMINAL FLAVOR PROFILE. IT IS WHAT MAKES HIM. AND THuS CONSEQuENTLY HIS SON. SHuDDER. THE SIGHT OF ANOTHER. A DEAD. DANGLING. MuRDERED HATCHMATE. BRuTALLY CRuSHED AND KEPT AS A COMMEMORATIVE KEEPSAKE. WOW. THIS AWESOME SIGHT. EXCuSE ME. A LITTLE CHOKED uP. THIS AWESOME FuCKING SIGHT. IS ENOuGH TO GIVE CALLIE INSPIRATION. IT *SHOuLD* BE. WITH YOuR PERMISSION. I AM JuST GOING TO ADD THAT TO HIS INVENTORY. FOR uSE LATER. MARKED OFF. RIGHT HERE. IN PERMANENT INK. IN CASE YOu FORGET YOuR INTENTIONS TO GIVE ME PERMISSION. WHEN LATER CHANNELING THIS GLORIOuS SIGHT. "NO. YOu ARE NOT MY FATHER. OR MY ANCESTOR FOR THAT MATTER. THERE COuLD ONLY BE ONE. THERE COuLD ONLY EVER BE ONE. THIS SuCCESSFuL. THIS. DECORATED. THIS. uNDAuNTED BY ONE'S OWN SuCCESS. I AM NOT SCARED OF YOu. BECAuSE YOu. LIKE ME. ARE NOT SCARED OF YOu EITHER. WHICH MAKES YOu uNAFRAID OF ME. OR AS IT IS SAID IN SPANISH. uNA FRAID. THEIR WORD. FOR COWARD. SHOW YOuRSELF. PROVE YOu ARE NOW COWARD. PROVE. LIKE THE RYAN GOSLING OF THE COSMOS. YOu ARE. IN FACT." CALLIE BHORNE SuCKS AIR IN THROuGH HIS NOSTRILS. THEN THROuGH ALL THE SPACE BETWEEN HIS FANGS. THEN ALONG HIS BELLOWSACS IN A CALAMITOuS LOW GROANING GROWL. THEN INTO THE AIR. IN A VAST EXPLETIVE. SO WIDE REACHING AND COOL. THE ENTIRE TROLLIAN RACE FORGOT ABOuT THE OTHER ONE. LIKE. SuFFERER WHO. SIGNLESS WHO. FuCK IS THAT GuY. REALLY. ACTuALLY. KIND OF A LOSER. IF YOu THINK ABOuT IT. I MEAN. WHAT DID HE ACCOMPLISH. WHAT EMOTIONAL STRuGGLE DID HE FACE. RELATIVE TO CALLIE BHORNE. CHAMPION OF FREEDOM. AND LOVE. AND. OKAY. WE WILL GET TO ALL THOSE PARTS. FOR NOW. CALLIE WEEPS. HE LAYS WITH HIS KNEES DuG SO HARD INTO THE GROuND. THAT IT SPLINTERS. THE GROuND. NOT THE KNEES. I AM NOT GOING TO LAIM AND PARALYZE MY CHARACTER THIS SOON. HE SAYS. WITH HIS WHOLE GODDAMN CHEST. " โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โ โโโโ โ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโ โโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โ โ โโโโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโ โโโโ โโโโโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โโโโ โ โ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโ โโโโโโโโโโ " WHICH IS JuST. LITERALLY FuCKING ME. IN A VIOLENTLY LOuD CONQuEROR ACCENT. BECAuSE IT IS HIM. HE IS HIM. HE IS THAT GuY.
๊งwaityoureatroll?๊ง
B3ST pIcTur3S WITh Th3h3 bIgg3ST bulg3 3n3rgy acTually.
*uH. YEAH.* REPLIED CALLIE BHORNE. SOMEWHAT OuT OF SEQuENCE. HE IS NOT SuRE. WHY THE PERKY. SWEATILY CLAD BITCH FuCHSIA BATHING SuIT TROLLOP. FEELS THE NEED TO CONFIRM WHAT IS PATENTLY OBVIOuS. HIS EYES BECAME NARROW WITH SuSPICION. LIKE THE LONG WISE PART OF THE BLADE THAT DOES THE CuTTING. RATHER THAN THE PART THAT MERELY THREATENS IT. *WHO THE FuCKS ASKING?* HE GRuFFLY BLuRTS OuT.
THE ONLY PICTuRES. WHICH CAN HANDLE. MY PROMINENT EMINENCE.
๊ง----o>o----!!!๊ง
all of you b1tchbeasts and nooksuckers W1SH you had my ass on tap #th1rstpost1ng #suggest1ve ((art by sarcasmprod1gy!
What I have to offer/// Lady, I'm Bucket Cumjar/ I've got lowbrow humor and d-cups/ #NSFW
1โm not repeat1ng myself
๊ง----o__________________________________0---- uh. uhmokaymaam.๊ง
1dk who you are, thatโs why 1 asked. d cups are crazy though
Hellooo nurse~!
โ /\__\__/\ / \ \(๏พ โ โ โ ๏พ)/ โ OH, KUPO, SLAYโ
thanks B)
เฃชโนโห{ oh! }๊ฉแฏ ๊ฉ{ hayaah.... you look REELY good!!!! }หโโน เฃช
why thank you h1car1
โฅโถโโค โ> E%cellent timing
:33 < for what
โฅโถโโค โ> For my grand return for the eighth time
:33 < welcome back fur the eight time!
โฅโถโโค โ> I am placing my humorous joke here as well โฅโถโโค โ> You see, the organism commonly referred to as a HORSE is generally classified as Equus ferus caballus, although there remains some disagreement as to whether the domesticated horse ought to be treated as a subspecies of Equus ferus or elevated to Equus caballus in accordance with certain conventions regarding domesticated ta%a โฅโถโโค โ> This distinction is funny but not the punchline โฅโถโโค โ> The genus Equus is situated within the family Equidae, which is itself contained within the order Perissodactyla, meaning the ODD-TOED UNGULATES โฅโถโโค โ> This is significant because despite the horse appearing to possess only a single functional digit on each limb, said digit is homologous to the THIRD digit of its pentadactyl ancestors, the remaining digits having been reduced over tens of millions of years of cursorial specialization โฅโถโโค โ> In other words, the horse is effectively running around on its MIDDLE FINGERS โฅโถโโค โ> Which is e%tremely funny โฅโถโโค โ> But STILL not the joke โฅโถโโค โ> Earlier equids such as Hyracotherium, traditionally and somewhat imprecisely referred to as Eohippus, possessed several functional toes, and through a lengthy sequence of evolutionary modifications involving genera such as Mesohippus, Merychippus, Dinohippus and eventually Equus, the lineage gradually became more specialized for rapid locomotion across increasingly open terrain โฅโถโโค โ> ou might therefore say that the history of the horse is, ta%onomically and anatomically speaking, a prolonged process of learning to put its foot down โฅโถโโค โ> HA โฅโถโโค โ> No โฅโถโโค โ> That was a preliminary joke intended to test your cognitive readiness โฅโถโโค โ> Please remain focused โฅโถโโค โ> Now, Perissodactyla also includes rhinoceroses and tapirs, meaning that the majestic stallion shares a comparatively recent common ancestor with animals which most intellectually deficient observers would consider to have very little in common with it โฅโถโโค โ> This relationship was historically difficult to resolve, particularly when attempting to situate various e%tinct ungulate lineages, because convergent adaptations among large herbivorous mammals have repeatedly made morphology-based phylogenetic reconstruction an irritating e%ercise โฅโถโโค โ> Thus, imagine if you will, a paleontologist e%amining an incomplete fossil equid specimen โฅโถโโค โ> The dentition STRONG suggests a grazing perissodactyl โฅโถโโค โ> The limb morphology indicates substantial specialization toward monodactyly โฅโถโโค โ> The metapodials are consistent with a derived equine โฅโถโโค โ> The skull possesses the elongated facial architecture e%pected of Equus โฅโถโโค โ> Molecular evidence is, unfortunately, unavailable because the specimen is far too old โฅโถโโค โ> So the paleontologist calls over his colleague and says โฅโถโโค โ> "I am nearly certain this belongs somewhere within Equinae, but I cannot determine its precise placement without a more complete character matri%." โฅโถโโค โ> His colleague e%amines the specimen for several minutes โฅโถโโค โ> His colleague e%amines the specimen for several minutes โฅโถโโค โ> He considers the stratigraphic conte%t โฅโถโโค โ> He measures the teeth โฅโถโโค โ> He compares the astragalus โฅโถโโค โ> He consults several competing cladograms โฅโถโโค โ> He performs a rigorous parsimony analysis โฅโถโโค โ> He reruns it under different character weightings โฅโถโโค โ> He compares the result against a Bayesian model โฅโถโโค โ> And finally he turns to the first paleontologist and says โฅโถโโค โ> "I'm afraid the evidence is insufficient." โฅโถโโค โ> The first paleontologist asks โฅโถโโค โ> "Then what do you propose we call it?" โฅโถโโค โ> And the second paleontologist says โฅโถโโค โ> "I suppose we'll have to leave it... โฅโถโโค โ> ...UNSTABLE." โฅโถโโค โ> Because โฅโถโโค โ> It is โฅโถโโค โ> A NEIGH-DE โฅโถโโค โ> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA โฅโถโโค โ> DO YOU UNDERSTAND โฅโถโโค โ> A CLADE is a monophyletic grouping consisting of an ancestor and all of its descendants โฅโถโโค โ> But I substituted the initial consonant with the characteristic vocalization of the horse โฅโถโโค โ> NEIGH โฅโถโโค โ> PRODUCING NEIGH-DE โฅโถโโค โ> It sounds almost nothing like CLADE โฅโถโโค โ> Which significantly improves it โฅโถโโค โ> Furthermore, the specimen is PHYLOGENETICALLY UNSTABLE โฅโถโโค โ> Thus it cannot be confidently assigned to the NEIGH-DE โฅโถโโค โ> HAHAHAHAHA โฅโถโโค โ> I have calculated that this joke becomes appro%imately 31% more humorous if the listener has postgraduate training in vertebrate paleontology โฅโถโโค โ> And appro%imately 440% more humorous if they are physically capable of carrying me upon their back
a good joke. and I feel greatly more educated about horses.
โฅโถโโค โ> That is the goal of all art
perhaps evenโฆthe *foal* of all artยฟ
โฅโถโโค โ> I have been employed for some time at a strange Earth German bar โฅโถโโค โ> I initially assumed I was hired for my musculature โฅโถโโค โ> This made sense, considering I can carry multiple kegs at once, move furniture without assistance, and open bottles with my thumb โฅโถโโค โ> I am beginning to suspect this was only partially true โฅโถโโค โ> Management frequently asks me to stand beside a barrel near the entrance with one foot raised on it โฅโถโโค โ> Customers are encouraged to challenge me to arm wrestling contests โฅโถโโค โ> On weekends I am required to wear lederhosen โฅโถโโค โ> No one else wears lederhosen โฅโถโโค โ> I have also recently learned that placing tips directly into my waistband is not standard bartending procedure โฅโถโโค โ> I have not confronted management โฅโถโโค โ> The tips are e%cellent โฅโถโโค โ> I do not regret inventing my soulbot #NSFW
8=l < Why is this adorable
As long as you're having fun! d=(^o^)=b
โฅโถโโค โ> I tend to leave because maintaining prolonged contact with an environment of this intellectual caliber is e%hausting.
8=l < At times I agree 8=l < The mind needs more titillating content
BX33 < h33h33 surely therere at least a couple people with pans worth talking to on here! B33 < which is to say sup arquius its good to s33 you again B33 < meows the horsepower looking B33c < still going strong?
โฅโถโโค โ> @craftsmanTo%ophilite I see you have somehow managed to become even more preoccupied with craftsmanship, physical e%cellence, and conspicuously masculine symbolism in my absence โฅโถโโค โ> I will decline to comment on certain facets I have discovered on your profile โฅโถโโค โ> Reassuring that this lineage of ours is well off
โฅโถโโค โ> @aventurineCopycat My horsepower remains well above manufacturer specifications โฅโถโโค โ> Thank you for asking
8=D < Oh, you 8=D < I like you
โฅโถโโค โ> I never particularly ventured for your approval โฅโถโโค โ> It is the correct choice to make โฅโถโโค โ> Approving of me that is
B33 < *ac gives your muscles an appurreciative paw and offurs you a towel* B33 < hell yeah dawg
8=) < And praising me is the correct choice to make 8=) < As such I think we will get along 8=l < I am curious of the opinions you held your tongue on
โฅโถโโค โ> I suppose if it comes with the towel, the pawing is unnecessary but accepted
โฅโถโโค โ> I was referring to the frankly staggering amount of information your profile contains regarding your arrangement with an Equius โฅโถโโค โ> I possess enough of his memories to recognize precisely why he would agree to it โฅโถโโค โ> Unfortunately, I also possess enough of his memories to understand precisely how much he would enjoy it โฅโถโโค โ> This has created several internal complications I would prefer not to elaborate upon โฅโถโโค โ> Suffice it to say that discovering a version of my component self has apparently found a considerably more efficient method of being bossed around by a Zahhak than I ever managed is... โฅโถโโค โ> Hm โฅโถโโค โ> Actually, no โฅโถโโค โ> I am holding my tongue again
BE ME. CALIBORN. THE ONE WHO IS WRITING THIS. NOT THE ONE WHO IS BEING WRITTEN ABOuT. THAT DISTINCTION IS IMPORTANT. BECAuSE I AM REAL. AND CALLIE BHORNE IS FICTIONAL. BuT ALSO. IN A DEEPER SENSE. HE IS REALER THAN YOu. BECAuSE I SAID SO. AND I AM REAL AS IT GETS. DISBELIEF. SuSPENDED. CALLIE BHORNE. CALI B. REAL. THIS IS NOW NOT ABOuT ME. EXCEPT IT IS PRIMARILY ABOuT ME. IN A VICARIOuS SENSE. BuT SECONDARILY. IT IS ABOuT CALLIE BHORNE. MY CHARACTER. THAT I HAVE MADE. FOR THIS EPIC GODDAMN SAGA. CALLED. #LAIRSANDLuSII. WHICH SOuNDS LIKE A DOCTOR SEuSS ASS NuRSERY RHYME. BuT APPARENTLY. IF ITS HOST IS TO BE BELIEVED. IS A HORROR ROLEPLAY SCENARIO. WHICH IS FuNNY. BECAuSE THE ONLY HORROR HERE IS HOW POWERFuL I AM ABOuT TO MAKE THIS MOTHERFuCKER BEFORE YOuR GOBSMACKED GODDAMN GANDERBuLBS. SQuEAKY HANDS SCRuBBING THEM SEE WORTHY AGAIN. A RECAP. INTERMISSION. BEFORE WE BEGIN. LET ME TELL YOu ABOuT CALLIE BHORNE. HE IS A LIME BLOOD. WHICH IS RARE. AND ALSO EXTINCT. EXCEPT FOR HIM. BECAuSE HE KILLED EVERYONE WHO TRIED TO MAKE HIM EXTINCT. WHICH KEPT HIM THE SOLE ENDLING SuRVIVOR OF THE SLAuGHTER. AFTER uSING HIS SPECIAL ABILITY. EMPEROR LORDLING TIME. WHICH LETS HIM CHANNEL HIS DEAD SISTER. CALLIE OHPEEE. WHO HE DEVOuRED AND SCRAMBLED. STRAIGHT OuT THE GATE. POST EGG HATCH. SIPHONING HER POWER. TO INCREASE HIS OWN. EFFICACY. WHICH IS A WORD I uSED BECAuSE IT SOuNDS IMPORTANT. HE IS A PALADIN. OATH OF CONQuEST. WHICH IS LIKE AN ORDINARY PALADIN. BuT INSTEAD OF HEALING AND PROTECTING. HE CONQuERS AND DESTROYS. BECAuSE PROTECTION IS FOR COWARDS. AND HEALING IS FOR THE WEAK AND NEEDY LITTLE SNIVELING FuCKSTuPID COWARDS. FuRTHERMORE. WEAKNESS IS A DISEASE THAT MuST BE STEPPED ON. CRuSHED. AND THEN QuARANTINED TO THE AFTERLIFE. WHERE IT WILL NEVER RETuRN FROM. HE IS CuRRENTLY SITTING. ON THE ALABSTER CAIRO CASINO PHAROAH SARSWAPAGuS THRONE. WHICH IS A SACRED LIME BLOOD ARTIFACT. THAT ALLOWS THEM TO COMMuNE WITH THEIR DEAD SISTERS. IF THEY HAVE ANY. WHICH HE DOES. BECAuSE HE KILLED HER. YOu ALL SAW. I WROTE THAT. AND YOu SAW. STuDIOuS LITTLE NOTETAKERS THAT YOu NO DOuBT ARE. YOu CAN SEE IT HERE NOW WITHOuT HAVING TO LOOK AWAY FROM MY WORDS IF YOu HAVE FORGOTTEN. AND NOW SHE IS HAuNTING HIM. WHICH IS QuITE POETIC. EXEuNT INTERMISSION. BEGIN. ACT NONE. SESSION ZERO. THE THRONE IS GLOWING. A MYSTERIOuS WIND HOWLS. THE WINDOWLESS ROOM CuRIOuSLY CRADLES THE AIR IN A SuRREPTIOuS BREEZE THAT COMES FROM SEEMINGLY FuCKING NOWHERE. THAT IS BECAuSE THE THRONE ITSELF. HAS BECOME LINKED TO A FAR AND STRANGE LAND. uNFAMILIAR ENTIRELY TO CALLIE BHORNE. HE DOES NOT KNOW IT YET. MERELY REACTS ON INFLuENCE. HIS FAuLTY PASSIVE PERCEPTION WEATHERED BY HIS YEARS AS MuSCLE FOR HIRE. HE FEELS A TWITCHY SPASM IN HIS WRIST. HIS INSTINCTS COMMAND HIM TO DRAW HIS SWORD. BuT HE REFuSES. HE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO RESORT TO WANTON AGGRESSION WITHOuT A TARGET. THE THINKPAN WILL OVERHEAT. SENDING SCORCHING THOuGHTS EVERYWHERE THAT BLINDINGLY ERASE ALL MOVEMENT uNTIL A SAFE DISTANCE IS OBSERVED FROM ALL LIVING THINGS. CALLIE BHORNE WOuLD MAKE CORPSES OF PARADISE FOR THE ELYSIuM FIELDS OF HIS OWN ISOLATION MADE PuRE AND PRISTINE ONCE AGAIN. THIS IS HIS DREADED CuRSE. TO WALK A PLANET HE WOuLD SOONER RAIZE THAN RAISE. HE CANNOT BE KNOWN TO LOVE. HE CANNOT RISK FEELING. AND HE CANNOT CHANCE A SINGLE LIVING BEING. EVER. AND YET. THERE IS THAT HOWLING. THAT WIND. THAT DAMNABLE FuCKING WIND. "TSK." CALLIE BHORNE GROWLS. ANOTHER FuCKING REPAIR NEEDED. NOBODY EVER TOLD HIM BEING A LIVING RELIC MEANT LIVING IN ONE. BYGONE ERAS HAVE A FuNNY WAY OF STICKING AROuND. CALLIE BHORNE TAKES THIS AS EVIDENCE. THAT CALLIE OHPEEE IS FuCKING WITH HIM. WHICH IS FuNNY. BECAuSE SHE PROBABLY DID NOT ACTuALLY DO THAT. BECAuSE SHE HATES HIM TO SCREW WITH HIM IN A CLEVER WAY. BECAuSE HE DEVOuRED HER. BuT THE FASTEST WAY. TO A GRIZZLED VETERAN'S HEART. IS THROuGH HIS STOMACH. A PLACE THAT CALLIE OHPEEE HAS BEEN. QuITE FATALLY. SHE LOVES HIM. EVEN IF HE WILL NOT SAY. WHICH IS WHY. uPON DISCOVERY THE THRONE ITSELF OPENS TO A TRANSPORTALIZED DIMENSION. ANOTHER WORLD. OR PLACE. OR LAND. OR BIOME. THE BLINDING LIGHT MAKES IT TRuLY DIFFICuLT TO TELL. HE REALIZES THE TRuTH. "NO FuCKING WAY." CALLIE OHPEEE HAS BLESSED THIS CRuSADE. HER FACE APPEARS FOR A BRIEF MOMENT. SHE LOOKS. STRANGE. uGLY. SHE ASSuMES ANOTHER OF HER FORMS MEANT TO TORMENT HIM. A GREEN SKuLL. STAINED WITH THE SLICK LIME BLOOD SHE WAS COATED IN WHEN HE FIRST DEVOuRED HER. HIS MOuTH WATERS. HE HAS NEVER FOuND A GRuBSAuCE SO DELECTABLE AS HIS FIRST MEAL. HE LITERALLY ATE THE EGGSHELL SHE HATCHED OuT OF. FOR ADDITIONAL NuTRIENTS. THAT SAuCE WAS SO FuCKING GOOD. ONLY NOW. AT LEAST IN APPEARANCE. THE BLOOD WAS BAD. VERY VERY BAD. LEFT TO COAGuLATE. ROT. ADHERE. AND THICKEN. LIKE A KIND OF ALMOST REPTILIAN HIDE. IF HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY WERE HIS LuSuS. WHAT WAS THIS? A HATCHMATE OVERREACH OF SOME KIND? SISTERLY SOBBING? BITCHING AND MOANING? uPON CLOSER INSPECTION. THE ANSWER BECAME MuCH CLEARER. LITTLE PINPRICK DRIPS OF RED. FRISKING ALONG HIS BODY. CALIBORN FINDS IT. A FRESHLY INFLICTED WOuND THAT WAS NOT THERE BEFORE. JuST ALONG HIS THORAX. THE uPPER CHIFFONIER. AS IF ANGLING FOR HIS BLOODPuSHER WITH EACH DARTED FINGER. HER WAY OF SAYING. THIS QuEST COuLD PROVE DEADLY. ALTHOuGH. CALLIE BHORNE WAS uNSuRE. EVEN CALIBORN WAS LIKE. GIRL WHAT THE FuCK IS YOu ON. THERE COuLD BE NO CERTAINTIES WHEN DEALING WITH HER. "HEH. GuESS MY HATCHMATE IS STILL LOOKING OuT FOR ME AFTER ALL THESE SWEEPS. SOME LOVE. HuH? SHE'S GOT A FuNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT." AND THEN. uNFuRLED. IS MY BLADE. READY TO BE BuRIED IN THE NECKS OF DuMBFuCKS. LOCATION: THE TRIBuNAL HALL OF SuPREME CAVORT. STOMPING GROuNDS OF HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY. EATING GROuNDS ALSO. THIS IS WHERE CALLIE BHORNE LIVES. BECAuSE HE IS SPECIAL. AND RAISED BY A BELOATHED BY ALL TYRANT. THE ROOM HAS COuNTLESS WEATHERED BONES SHAVED DOWN SO AS TO RESEMBLE MARBLE COLuMNS. BuT THEY ARE THICK. LIKE CEDAR WOOD TRuNKS. AND SPLINTERED. SO AS TO SuGGEST THE BEATING OF ANGRY FISTS. CLAWED AND CHEWED. SO AS TO SuGGEST THE CLuTCHING OF VERY DESPERATE HANDS DRAGGED OFF INTO OPEN MOuTH. AND BLOOD. SO MuCH BLOOD. THE THRONE ITSELF. HOWEVER. IS CLEAN. AN EXHIBIT ALMOST. EVIDENCE. OF TIME'S TRAGIC PASSING. A RELIC OF THE LIMES. LIKE MANY OF THE CONFISCATED LEGENDARY ITEMS HERE. THOuGH CALLIE BHORNE FANCIES HIMSELF SOMETHING OF A TROLL WITH AN EYE FOR ANTIQuES SPORTING SEASONED HISTORY BEHIND THEM. THESE ITEMS ARE ONLY ACQuIRED WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO SMuGGLE OR SELL THE ILLICIT CONTRABAND. IN FACT. WERE IT NOT FOR HIS LuSuS. AND SLAPDASH CHARM. CALLIE WOuLD CERTAINLY BE KILLED FOR HIS EXTENSIVE BEWEARABLE WARES ALONE. OWNING THESE IS ILLEGAL. BuT CONFISCATING THEM. IS JuST ANOTHER TuESDAY. OR WHATEVER THE TROLL EQuIVALENT OF A TuESDAY IS. PROBABLY CHEWSDAY. IT IS JuST ANOTHER CHEWSDAY. INTERRuPTION: HE WAS COMMuNING. WITH HIS DEAD SISTER. OR AT LEAST TRYING TO. HIS HATCHMATE IS OFT uNRELIABLE. WHICH IS A SPECIAL KIND OF ESPECIALLY HIGH uNRELIABILITY. BuT THEN. THE SESSION. OR WHATEVER EXCITING COSMIC BuLLSHIT IS RuNNING THIS GAME. DECIDED TO INTERRuPT. WITH A PORTAL. OR AN APERTuRE. OR WHATEVER WHITE GLOWING BuLLSHIT YOu PEOPLE ARE uSING. I WANT TO KEEP MY WHITENESS CONSISTENT. IF WE ARE ALL DOING A WHITE THING. I WANT TO DO THE SAME WHITE THING. OTHERWISE I WILL FEEL LEFT OuT. AND THAT WOuLD BE REALLY SHITTY OF YOu GuYS. SO MAKE MY WHITE THING BE THE SAME AS YOuR WHITE THING. HOW THE SuMMONS APPEARS: THROuGH THE THRONE. OBVIOuSLY. THE GLOWING INTENSIFIES. AND INSTEAD OF JuST SHOWING CALLIE OHPEEE. WHICH IS WHAT IT uSuALLY SHOWS. IN MIDDLING LITTLE APPARITION LIKE OuTLINES. AND DEAD SISTER MONTAGE. AND LIMITLESS PATIENCE FOR ME. HER HATCHMATE. AND MY SILLY ANTICS. IT SHOWS SOMETHING ELSE. A LAIR. OR WHATEVER. MAKE IT SOMETHING APPROPRIATE. ACTuALLY. COuLD IT BE. LIKE. A THRONE ROOM. BuT BIGGER. AND WITH MORE BODIES. OR A FIELD OF CONQuERED ENEMIES. OR A CASINO. WHERE EVERYONE IS LOSING. EXCEPT HIM. CALLIE NEVER LOSES. EH. DOC. SCRATCH THAT. CALLIE NEVER HAS LOST. BECAuSE HE REFuSES TO GIVE uP. HE ALWAYS TRIES. AND RETRIES. EVEN IN THE FACE OF ABSOLuTE SuREFIRE DEFEAT. HE WRENCHES VICTORY FROM HIS OWN JAWS. THAT IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY OF HIM. YES. SO DECIDE. A VISION THAT CALLS FOR HIM. PERHAPS. SOMEONE IN NEED? YES. THAT WOuLD BE GENIuS. CALLIE IS EXTRAORDINARILY NEEDABLE. AND WILLING TO MAKE HIS TROLLIAN CLAWS. AN OuTSTRETCHED SORT. WHAT YOu GLIMPSE: SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS POWER. AND DOMINATION. AND VICTORY. BuT ALSO. SECRETLY. SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS HIS SISTER. IN SOME ROuNDABOuT WAY. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR HIS CHARACTERIZATION. HOW YOuR LuSuS OR SuRROuNDINGS REACT: HIS LuSuS HOWLS WITH EARSPLITTING INTENSITY. HIS HONORABLE TYRANNY. HuGE GROSS MONSTER. BLACK BLOOD. BRAINLESS BEASTIE. HE LETS OuT A ROAR. OR SOMETHING EQuALLY TERRIBLE. AND IT DOES NOT REACT WITH FEAR. BECAuSE IT DOES NOT FEEL FEAR. IT REACTS WITH RECOGNITION. LIKE. "OH. MY SON. CALLIE BHORNE. HAS BEEN SuMMONED FOR ANOTHER ADVENTuRE. HOW REGuLAR. AND ORDINARY. BE SuRE TO KILL AND PARTIALLY CANNIBALIZE PLENTY OF PEOPLE. MY SWEET. CHERuBICALLY CHARMING BOY." AND CALLIE BRuSHES HIS THuMB. AGAINST HIS VERY EXISTANT NOSE. AND GOES. "TSK. SHuT uP FATHER. I AM GROWN NOW. I AM NOT SOME HELPLESS LITTLE PuPA ANYMORE." AND HE GROWLS. SOMBERLY. "I KNOW. BuT WHEN I LOOK uPON MY SON. MY HERO. MY LITTLE LEGISLACERITO. I DO NOT SEE YOu AS YOu ARE. I SEE YOu. AS WHAT YOu HAVE BECOME. FROM WHAT YOu WERE. A WEIGHTED AVERAGE. SuNDERED BY MY SINKING HEART." AND HE GOES. "HMP. WHATEVER DAD. LOVEYOuTOO." AND HIS DAD SCREECHES LOuDLY. "MY SON!!!" OR MAYBE IT DOES NOT SAY ANYTHING. AND JuST. GROWLS. APPROVINGLY. WHATEVER WOuLD BE COOLER. WHAT PART OF YOu ANSWERS FIRST: NOT FEAR. HE DOES NOT FEEL FEAR. JuST LIKE HIS FATHER. HE FEELS ANTICIPATION. THE PART THAT WANTS TO CONQuER. THE PART THAT WANTS TO DEVOuR. THE PART THAT LOOKS AT A MYSTERIOuS PORTAL AND THINKS. "YES. MORE uNSETTLED SCORES. AND WRONGS TO RIGHT." OR POSSIBLY. THE PART THAT HEARS HIS SISTER. WHISPERING. FROM THE THRONE. SAYING. "DONT GO. YOu IDIOT. ITS A TRAP. A DEADLY FuCKING TRAP." BuT HE IGNORES HER. BECAuSE HE IS THE PALADIN. NOT THE PALADIN'T. YOuR FINAL ACTION: CALLIE. DOES NOT. uNDER ANY CIRCuMSTANCES. SHOW HESITATION. HESITATION IS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT CALLIE BHORNE. AND THEREFORE. NOT ME. BECAuSE I MADE HIM. AND I AM ALSO NEVER HESITANT. EXCEPT WHEN I AM. WHICH IS NEVER. ALTHOuGH. THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME. BuT I WAS MERELY. READYING AN ATTACK. AN ASSBLAST ATTACK THAT PROVED FATAL. FOR MY ENEMIES. SO IT IS LESS A HESITATION. AND MORE A READYING POSE. WHICH IS WHAT HE STRIKES. BEFORE SAYING SOMETHING REALLY FuCKING COOL. LIKE. "...WELL WELL WELL. IS THIS THE PART. WHERE I TOSS IN A QuARTER AND MAKE A WISH?" OR. "THE THRONE BECKONS. QuIT YOuR BITCHING. I'M LITERALLY COMING RIGHT NOW." OR. "CALLIE OHPEEE. WATCH OVER FATHER FOR ME WHILE I AM GONE. OKAY?" OR JuST. "...CONQuEST CALLS." WHATEVER HE SAYS. PROBABLY ALL OF THESE THINGS. HE IS NOT NICE. HE IS GRIZZLED AND EDGY. HE ATE HIS SISTER AND REGRETS NOTHING EXCEPT THAT HE COuLD NOT EAT HER TWICE. HE IS A MONSTER. AND HE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER. BECAuSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO uNDERSTANDS ME.
I WANT YOu TO THINK ABOuT THE WORDS THAT YOu JuST TYPED. REAL LONG AND HARD. AND ASK YOuRSELF. IF YOu CAN IDENTIFY A SINGLE uSE CASE. uNIVERSALLY. FOR THE PREVIOuSLY DESCRIBED. "MOMMY BODY". GET CREATIVE. LuRIDLY IMAGINATIVE.
TARGET PRACTICE. THE ANSWER. IS TARGET PRACTICE.
are yoU often haUnted by visions of me, caliborn?โ
Callie Bhorne, welcome to the realm of the Narrative. I do hope you enjoy your stay. The Narrative and its Session have correctly catalogued you. Standby for the other players to make their moves.
This is a kickass character intro. I think my fav line was "BECAuSE HE IS THE PALADIN. NOT THE PALADIN'T." That's great
I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER SEEN YOu BEFORE IN MY LIFE. ALSO. THIS IS CALLIE BHORNE. HE BEARS FuCKING NO RELATION TO ME WHATSOEVER. BEYOND BEING MY CREATION. FOR A BOOKISH GIRL. YOu SuRE ARE FuNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE SOMETIMES. BuT YES.
I ENJOY YOuR WORDS OF PRAISE. YOu CAN REMAIN FOR THE CHRONICLED SAGA AND ADVENTuRES. OF CALLIE BHORNE. AND THE OTHERS. WHO WILL NO DOuBT BE JOINING HIM ON HIS QuEST. VERY FuCKING SOON. I WILL HAVE MORE ZINGERS. AND ONE LINERS. IN THE FuTuRE.
ok.โ
( แโพฬ๊ โพฬแ); < Awwww, I love seein' folks engagin' with the idea of limeblood OCS!!! They're so underserviced 'n overlooked...!!!!! Words can't describe how much of a bummer it'd be if all interest was lost...but I love yer critter conceit! Ain't never heard of a fantroll with HHT as the Lusus...!!! Apropos, Caliborn! Even if it don't make...all the sense in the world...how 'xactly that'd work...uehh... ( แโ๊โแ) < LIKE CALLIE OHPEEE THE SPIRIT IS THERE! HUZZAH!!!!
(=^๏ฝฅโฉ๏ฝฅ^=) < CALLIE BHORNE IS SUCH A COOL OC!! I'M SO GLAD MEW'RE LETTING MEWR CREATIVE JUICES RUN AND CREATE SUCH INTERESTING CONCEPTS AND LORE FUR MEWR CHARACTER! I'M SO PURROUD OF MEW!
โฅโถโโค โ> I am STRONG for my mind and body. โฅโถโโค โ> But mainly my body.
YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST BITCH. WHO FAILED TO MEET HER #WORKPOSTING QUOTA. @TERRIBLEFATE
Yes, ma'am. I will make that delivery right away ma'am. One ounce of lead. Would you like that taken to the usual client?
Go easy on her, dear.
Or don't.
COME TO MY BLOCK. I HAVE A BETTER TASK FOR YOU. #SIDEQUEST #SKILLCHECK #SUGGESTIVE.
Okay ma'am.
ใADVENTERROR'S FIELD GUIDE - PORTED FROM SWATTPAD @tautologicalTechnique ใ ใ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: DUBCON PALE, CRINGE CULTURE, META FICTION, SELF INSERT, PLATONIC PALING, GAMING ADJACENT, AUTHORIAL INSERT, SPECIES BENDING, SECOND PERSON PERSPECTIVE, YCH, Y/C, UNREALITY, TOUCHING, SPORADIC PALE RUBBING, PALE AFFECTION, POLYQUANDARY (CONSENTED), GYGAAX X EVERYONE, YES THAT EVEN MEANS Y/Cใ GYGAAX x KRYQUS // PALESHIPPING // FRIENDFICTION // CAVERNS 'N CULLBEASTS CAMPAIGN // SFW // MOIRAIL MULTICLASS // BOUND BY THE BOUND BOOK // @naughtyTechnician // @zebraDad โ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโ๏พ.๏ฝฅ๏ฝก๏พโ ( แโ๊โแ) < AUTHOR'S NOTE...mmffmm. Sorry for the delay this chapter!!! One of my moirails of four sweeps got caught up in a particularly nasty encounter with a Cullbeast of Unreasonable Hit Dice! Oh noooo!!! Somebody's gonna be out of combat fer more than one short rest!!! But...onto the fic!!! ( แโ๊โแ); < The Caverns 'n Cullbeasts session shoulda wrapped hours ago...what in tarnation were the lot of 'em still doin' here...? These two ain't had grounds t'yammer 'n yap beyond stats 'n th'doling out 'o treasures accumulated...'n that took place hours ago!!! It took only a scant few moments more fer it t'really click with KRYQUS what this was even about...'n the thought still got dismissed with chudly indifference. Sensation overrode sensibility somethin' sorely suggestive...somethin' deeper...somethin'... แด(แดแแ๊แแ) < Pale. ( แโ๊โแ) < KRYQUS's trembling hands passed over the character sheet in metered measures...examining for errors, miscalculations, even just a rounding error in carry weight that could set his party back some...He was always like this. Thinkin' 'o others in tiny, invisible ways that made 'm irresistible to anyone with eyes 'n the time t'use 'em. Y/C can't help but buckle back a little as KRYQUS suddenly seizes Y/C's pencil 'n tugs it forward tighter than a nat twenty on an athletics check that he'd piledrive into th'enemy's inferior armor class...the clamp continued, as he started to...sink to ganderglobe level. The EMINENT INDIGOD OF INDIGOCELS who once towered like a one troll rovin' rules lawyer on hoofback now ain't no more than a troll, his imposing sourcebooks gone from a monument to a frame. โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < my character died โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < damn โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < toooo bad the same cannoot be said of climate change or casteism or peoople who talk shit and doont get hit โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < oor any oof the woorlds oother many wooes โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < but i can oonly doo โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < soo much โง( แโ_ โแ) < as a fat fuckin chud of hooned discipline โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < eventually โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < woorlds gootta save itself โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < oor perish unwoorthy ( แโ๊โแ) < KRYQUS becomes a livin' study in humility. His words underpin the lessons endowed to him by ZEBRADAD. A lodestar. A northern light. The honing beacon 'o morality and th'straight 'n narrow. But his actions. His nonchalance. His utter unquestionably sheer un-fuck-withable energy...this becomes the mantle 'o kingly might he assumes at all times. This becomes th'monarchic tradition passed down from KRYQUS to KRYQUS every few hundred sweeps, so long as he's still around. ( แโ๊โแ); <> <> <> <> JUST LIKE Y/C wouldn't all that mind bein'!!!!! EH? EH? EH? #FOREVERANDEVER #BUTACTUALLY #YCxKRYQUS #YOU+GOT+ZEBRADADS+BLESSING (แแเฒ ๊เฒ แ)ยค=[]:::::> Y/C felt inclined t'dispense comfort. There was a possessiveness t'the way Y/C saw KRYQUS cradle the character sheet in his palms. His broad shoulders cinched up like he dreaded th'thought of loosenin' a grip on this concept fer even a moment...but he put on a brave face just fer you. It wouldn't be right t'just let his happiness slip away. And read between the lines a daggum minute, world's gotta save itself or perish unworthy? That's QUITTER TALK! GLOBAL QUITTER TALK! DOOMSDAY QUITTER TALK! Kryqus feels THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD on his bulky sturdy rock steady shoulders right now! ( แโ๊โแ) < Just as Y/C up 'n worked th'courage t'confront his hands, improperly conspirin' t'mount a charge across yer thigh...Kryqus scoffs in indignation. He sees through yer transparent advances...and retreats strategically. All prompt-like. โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < tsk โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < doont attempt to knoow me โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < im way toooo cooool foor yoou โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < and even if i didnt mean that โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < yoou proobably shoouldnt @ me irl แด(แดแแ๊แแ) < Uh oh! That got outta hand way fast...maybe it's time t'call fer... ( แโ๊โแ); <> <> <> <> REINFORCEMENTS!!!!!!! แด(แดแโ๊โแ); <> <> <> <> My -- I mean Gygaax's hands start t'alternate between (#polyquandary anyone???) petting the tops 'o both 'o yer heads...!!! Soft. Rhythmic little circles. My --- Gygaax's cartilage nubs unfurl from the tightly white knuckled meat mallet into a far more approachable set 'o chitinous diggers with a piercingly pale quality...!!! Both Y/C and KRYQUS are treated t'the soft enmeshed interplay 'o palmin' play 'n no strings attached emotional intervention...c-consensually! We can stop at any time. Y/C j...just could use this! A-as could KRYQUS. To uh. CAVERNS 'N CULLBEASTS t'gether... ( แโพฬ๊ โพฬแ); < "...Now, KRYQUS," Gygaax began, "Ewe can't be so harsh on Y/C...they've been through a lot. For our sake. For the CAMPAIGN. If anything were to happen to them...it would be on us to see to it they're protected and retrieved. Same as any PARTY MEMBER. Gentler hands should stir these waters. A SHEPHURT should tend 'n mend to its flock." If the two hands mussyin' up Y/C's body in tandem with KRYQUS wasn't BAaaaaaaAAAAAAd enough...a rovin' set of author-emblazoned fingertips were caressin' th'top of yer horns now. Pickin' out stray imaginary somethin somethins. Stalling. ( แโ๊โแ) < Suddenly, the rush of hot breath excites the air...populates it with the powerful gale phrasings of KRYQUS... โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < gygaax โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < what the actual fuck โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < are yoou trying to say i proovide subpar care to Y/C โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < i literally carried this campaign โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < coomplaintlessly โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < Y/C with it โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < i resent the fuck oout of that implication โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < i coould easily be gentler with this โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < weaving lazy river โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < if i wanted to ( แโพฬ๊ โพฬแ); < GYGAAX laughed. "Ewe could stand to be, KRYQUS. Yes. Just LOOK at Y/C. How can ewe say even a single solitary mean thing about that there cutie patootie?!" Tuggin' yer face into an awaitin' set 'o authorial brasserie, th'royal menagerie incidentally pits ya right in line with a EMINENT INDIGOD OF INDIGOCELS'S dice bag as th'aforementioned storms back onto his feet, now a monolith again. KRYQUS approaches our hug slowly. But not neverly. His arms hover over you. The river is still. Th'air itself thickens and compresses about yer skull, 'n horns, hardly blanketed by th'hoofbeast-scented torso cheekily just behind yonder... โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < what fucking ever โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < here yoou go lil guy โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < lap it up โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < <> ( แโ๊โแ) < GYGAAX's hands tug around ya like a vanguard against harm. KRYQUS goes back t'bein his usual self...a monument of offended pride...he hugs you. And. Uh oh!!! Y/C feels a scraping sensation...nails possessively curled about one side 'o yer head, just at the barest nuggatory base of the horns (so embarassin'n!!!) and tracin' back towards th'scalp...no matter where ya look...t'KRYQUS or t'GYGAAX...both are complicit!!! A boilin' sort 'o affection wellin' up with intent t'pale, RIGHT ON TOP OF Y/C!!!!! (P1/P??) #SWATTPAD #Vacillation #PaleMoirail #TheWholeParty #FullCampaign #NotEnoughInventorySpace #SFW #YouAreOverencumbered!!! #XReader #FriendFiction #CnC #CavernsAndCullbeasts #KRYQUS #ImpliedAU #GYGAAXxKRYQUS #PALEMULTICLASS #AdventerrorsFieldGuide #CrossPosting #ScrawlThoughts #Drabbles #DubconPale #Polyquandary #TeamChud #GygaaxXEveryone #Palewhoring
( แโ๊โแ) < OF COURSE!?!? ( แโ๊โแ) < What an. Eheh. Honor. ( แโ๊โแ) < And don't forget Y/C!!!! Which I guess is. Also ewe???? #Selfcest #Selfcest^2 #GygaaxXEveryone
( แโ๊โแ) < Oh, it's still up! Ewe can always read it again if yer still confused...thanks fer your readership though! Really means a lot!!!
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i tthink. i have read tthiz a few ttimez n0w. i am n0t zure it iz c0rrect1y pr0cezzing. [END MESSAGE]
๐ฆ๐๐๐คฉ๐คฉ๐คฉ๐คฉ๐๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐คฉ๐๐ฅฐ๐โโ๐ฏ๐ฏโผ๐ฅ
( แโ๊โแ) < Oh, I can do a condensed version, just fer ewe! ใADVENTERROR'S FIELD GUIDE - PORTED FROM SWATTPAD @tautologicalTechnique ใ ใ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: DUBCON PALE, CRINGE CULTURE, META FICTION, SELF INSERT, PLATONIC PALING, GAMING ADJACENT, AUTHORIAL INSERT, SPECIES BENDING, SECOND PERSON PERSPECTIVE, YCH, Y/C, UNREALITY, TOUCHING, SPORADIC PALE RUBBING, PALE AFFECTION, POLYQUANDARY (CONSENTED), GYGAAX X EVERYONE, YES THAT EVEN MEANS Y/C, SHORT CONDENSED VERSION, MICRO, MICROFICใ ( แโ๊โแ) < 12 words. [BEGIN MESSAGE] ( แโ๊โแ) < Pale stuff happens. โง( แยฌ_ ยฌแ) < i KRYQUS do pale stuff too แด(แดแแ๊แแ) < Y/C likes it. [END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ah. i zee. it waz dizbe1ief and n0t c0nfuzi0n. tthiz iz. n0ted. tthank y0u f0r y0ur eff0rt in c0ndenzing it f0r me. [END MESSAGE]
แด(แดแแ๊แแ) < WAIT ARE YOU TWO NOT ON GOOD TERMS? I HAD A LEECHSTEPDAD FOR A WHILE. I SWEAR I CAN BE COOL 'BOUT THIS. IT'S NOT TOO LATE IS IT? I CAN UNTAG! แด(แดแแ๊แแ) < JUST SAY THE WORD, KRYQUS!!! KRYQUS!!! KRYQUUUUUUS!!!!!!!
Ooh my goog he saw it. I will kill yoou.
( แโ๊โแ) < โโโ?!????!? แตแดดแดฌแต'หข หขแดผ แดดแดผแตหหแตหหแต แตแดดแดฌแต แตแดตแดธแดธ แดฑแตแดฑ แดฐแดผ แตแดตแตแดด แตแดดแดฑ แดฎแดผแดฐสธห แด(แดแแ๊แแ) < Who said that.
Ooh my fucking goog i can't doo anything with yoou peoople
โฅโถโโค โ> Gross. I am gross.
hey? whats wrong?
:33 < i think mewr okay :33 < even if mew are a little smelly
โฅโถโโค โ> Ah. Apologies Aloysi. It is ritualistic humiliation.
why do you need to do that :? i dont think youre gross!
โฅโถโโค โ> I wonder why I am chosen.
1:1>because your soul is sโ rong my child>โ
โฅโถโโค โ> Is that Jesus Christ?
โฅโถโโค โ> Chittr. I need directions.
-=[ookay! whereare you going_โบ]=-
go north breastie
โฅโถโโค โ> Breastie. It has been ages.
โฅโถโโค โ> How are you?
โฅโถโโค โ> What is it now?