Phuntr Guynax
@consequentlyOblique
guaranteed chittr shitposter. tickler of the funny chitin and certifiable chud. #teamchudleader
she makes me really, really happy. <3
breaking. #clockworkinc releases perhaps first good outfit they'VE ever made. their clothing may actually be wearable.
꧁#SFW꧂ ꧁#BUGLERATING꧂ ꧁@consequentlyOblique ꧂ ꧁So. This is my full description of Phuntr Guynax's bugle. Brass instrument. Do not misread this.꧂ ꧁It is older. Donated. Probably touched by many hands and at least one troll with extremely bad breath. The finish is worn around the places where fingers would rest, and there is a small dent near the bell that makes me think it was either dropped, swung, or used to punctuate an argument.꧂ ꧁Ｓｔａｔｓ꧂ ꧁Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈ： 6꧂ ꧁Structurally intact. Not pristine.꧂ ꧁Ｐｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ： 1꧂ ꧁It is a bugle. It should not bend. If it does bend, that is bad.꧂ ꧁Ｌｅｎｇｔｈ： 5꧂ ꧁Standard enough. Comfortable to hold. ꧂ ꧁Ｇｉｒｔｈ： 4꧂ ꧁The tubing is narrow, but the bell gives it presence. Most of the visual confidence is in the flare. That is normal for bugles.꧂ ꧁Ｘ－Ｆａｃｔｏｒ: 0.꧂ ꧁Ａｔｔｒｉｂｕｔｅｓ꧂ ꧁Ｓｃｅｎｔ：꧂ ꧁Old brass, dust, tarnish, stale case fabric.꧂ ꧁Ｔａｓｔｅ：꧂ ꧁I do not recommend tasting it. Coppery. Bitter. Like regret and coins.꧂ ꧁Ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ：꧂ ꧁Cool, smooth, lightly tarnished. Slight roughness near the dent. ꧂ ꧁Ｓｅｃｒｅｔｉｏｎｓ：꧂ ꧁Condensation. Spit. Possibly valve oil.꧂ ꧁Ｗｅｉｇｈｔ：꧂ ꧁Light-medium. Easy to carry.꧂ ꧁Overall: battered, metallic, stubborn, emotionally suspicious, and more dignified than expected. This is a serviceable bugle. Possibly cursed. Definitely needs cleaning.꧂
~Epic~
FLIPS NOTES, MHM... MAKES SENSE... OH MY, PHUNTR, YOU SCOUNDREL...
thank you for this. my bugle finally feels seen. i'M going to play you a little ditty (terribly) on it in celebration
꧁Clean it first, Phuntr. If you give mono to Kaikka I'll blow you to smithereens.꧂
i'D blow myself to smithereens first but your worry is noted and also appreciated.
legit how do so so many people keep picking a fight with #clockworkinc and losing just like. don'T pick a fight? is there something drawing people there? after like the first few people you think you'D be like oh shit maybe i should not do this and then people do it
clockwork |nc gett|ng |nto my pAlmhusk only to f|nd squeAkbeAst |mAges And p|ctures of gr|lled cheeses. cheeszes? cheeseses.
I hope that one day someone who knows what they’re doing gets involved. So far, ignorance all around. Somewhat embarrassing
can you do it? thanks
Someone Or Someth|ng |s Offer|ng Free Duels?
they'RE going to shoot you with like missiles, i think, ptolmy.
Unfortunately, no. I have my path and I cannot deviate from it, and it does not cross with Clockwork Inc
I think Callie was killed by them recently. she hasn't come back either...it may be permanent.
this makes a LITTLE more sense but also like. i think you would maybe need like a small fucking army to take them on
oh I completely agree. people going after them by the handfuls or on their own are being completely insane.
Prom|s|ng |nformat|on |f True.
kaikka is so attractive
@goldenGigabyte there you go.
-=[AWESOME_☺]=-
I'm always saying this
Audd|o junjle
heeheehee.
@consequentlyOblique here's your minions
pusherbreaking. worst guy you know has fucking awesome profile picture.
Literally me
hey cyphel
>ᴗ< Omg hiiiii ♫
(─‿‿─) Big as fuck sandwich ♫ (─‿‿─) I see it in my mind's eye ♫ (─‿‿─) Eat it like Scooby-Doo. ♫
[FORCED TO PLAY OVERWATCH] <[PRE-GAME INTERVIEW 3:] Costar Treign @surlyTabloid <[Costar comes from us from the bustle of his own office. Dissatisfied with his job writing for the NEWS, he decided to take the wheel and start his OWN journey, getting in WILD SITUATIONS on the way! Don’t be misguided by his alleged repertoire of writing skills — he is a CHUD (Cjobless Hhivedwelling Uinternet Dentrepreneur). Keep an eye on him. He’ll rule the game with an iron fist! LITERALLY! Hopefully!] <[Here we asked him a SERIES OF QUESTIONS to get to know him better as a PERSON AND A COMPETITOR.] <[Let’s see what he has to say!] ________________________________ [Tell me about your background. What's your life story?] ST: OH, I’M JUST A NEWS GUY, Y’KNOW? I USED TO WORK FOR BIG EMPIRE NEWS DIRECTORS, BUT WE GOT INTO SOME ARGUMENTS SO I MADE MY OWN COMPANY, LLT, WHERE I “WORK” NOW. WE “WORK” SOMETIMES, I GUESS. MAINLY WATCH GRUBTUBE AND SOMEHOW GET INTO ANTICS NOW AND THEN? THAT’S ALL THAT’S NOTEWORTHY. TA: What kind of Antics, if you don't mind me asking? ST: THE ANNOYING KIND, LIKE OLD COWORKERS LOOKING FOR ME. THE BAD, UNSPEAKABLE KIND, LIKE DROPPING FOOD ON THE FLOOR. JUST THE OTHER WIPE I WAS IN A STORM THAT TOOK OUT AN ISOLATED SUBGRUB. WAS STUCK IN A CAVE FOR A WHILE. [If you could choose to travel to ANY PART OF THE WORLD, where would it be and why?] ST: YEESH, THAT’S TOUGH. ‘CUPE? FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND. THERE’S NOT MUCH OUTSIDE THE OFFICE I NEED TO DO. [How certain are you that you'll survive the game? Why?] ST: I’M NOT CERTAIN OF MUCH, BUT I’VE SURVIVED A LOT OF STUFF THAT SOMEHOW HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. I’M CONFIDENT. [So a bit MORE about the show: you'll be faced with a multitude of challenges testing your STRENGTH, WIT, AND CREATIVITY. Maybe a mishmash of all three! You've got to keep your bulbs peeled and your mettle ready to be Tested. Regarding this, do you have a game strategy in mind? Not only WITH these challenges, but with your fellow competitors? Are you planning to PLAY SOLO or TEAM UP?] ST: MAN, I DON’T REALLY KNOW ANY OF THOSE GUYS. NO INITIATIVE TO REACH OUT A HELPING HAND, UNLESS IT HELPS ME OUT, Y’KNOW? I DON’T WORK WELL WITH MOST PEOPLE. AS FOR THE CHALLENGES, JUST TRUST ME, MAN. [Do you think you'd make more friends or more enemies in the game?] ST: I’M NOTORIOUS FOR SOMEHOW MAKING LOTS OF BOTH. I’M NOT ACTUALLY, BUT IT’S HARD TO SAY. I’M A FRIENDLY GUY, BUT GIVEN THE COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT I’D PROBABLY MAKE MORE ENEMIES. [What would you do with the million caegars if you WON?] ST: THREE WORDS. SUPER GOONING HIVE. [Finally, do you have anything to say to the people you'll be COMPETING AGAINST?] ST: LET ME WIN AND YOU CAN GET A ROOM IN THE SUPER GOONING HIVE. [I'm playing a game of Mini Tele☎, so you get to see THIS message from the LAST PERSON I INTERVIEWED:] RI: print("please do not kill me") RI: print("+ i think everyone should pick a gog + start praying") ST: WOWIE. ST: SOMEONE’S [GOT] A LITTLE STAGE FRIGHT. ________________________________ <[WHAT. A. CHARACTER. This is a troll you JUST CAN’T MISS! See what antics HE’LL get into on the WHEEL OF TORTURE! And be on the lookout for our NEXT INTERVIEW! Hope you had fun interviewing this guy, @televisedAviamor!] <[#wheeloftorture #spinthewheel #wotinterviews]
Him. Continue eating your wheel of torture brand kibble. You have not wronged me.
[BULLETS IN HOTDOG] <[DON'T expose the kibble just yet! It's a secret product!!!]
I am sorry. Can you forgive me. and liscense my offbrand wheel of torture brand kibble. I have never done anything wrong and you are my friend. It is 100% sawdust. please.
WHO? ME?
YEAH?
C’MON, MAN. DID I OFFEND YOU SOMEHOW?
uh oh
-=[wihohuhouh_☺]=-
i'LL tell you out loud
-=[tell me out loud right ib my ear_☺]=-
SAID LIKE A NERVOUS GRUB GIVING A CLASS PRESENTATION.
for this #shocktober i am happy to announce that #teamchud has been rebranded... as #teamC.H.U.D you may ask yourself. what'S the difference? now, instead of a group of loveable losers... we are "cannibalistic, horrifying, underground dwellers!" BAHAHAHAHHAHA! quake in fear as evilnax'S army runs rampant...
gruuhhGoood i wish thaaat waaas me yooouu guys r sooo deviooouusness brooo(¬ºཀ°)¬
you don'T even know the half of it... hahaha.... haahahaAHAHAAHA.... BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
gruuhhMyesss myeeaaahaaahaaa HaaaHaaaHaaaGaaaHaaaHaaaHaaaHaaaSG(¬ºཀ°)¬
gruuhhWhaaat're we laaaughinghk sooo ghooouulishly aaabooouut phunt?? XuX(¬ºཀ°)¬
because i'M phuntr EVILnax now. it'S my evil laugh.
gruuhhzooomg yooouure sooo evil I caaan feel the wretchedness ooon yooouu brooolaaami saaandwhich yooouure sooo wickedddd(¬ºཀ°)¬
Ƹ 🌂 > … Are you trying to COMPETE with the DARK ARMY… Ʒ
i would never. see it as a temporary rebranding for #shocktober. or like. a subdivision of the dark army.
“STOP, COSTAR! YOUR REIGN OVER CHITTR, IT’S AN EVIL REIGN!” “EVILREIGN? I LIKE THAT NAME.” #HEROBRINE
as phuntr evilnax... i call today #terrifyingtuesday BAHAHAHAHAHA quake in fear...
Reclaiming the title oof Evil Phuntr i see
indeed i am... kryqus evillem...
turning into phuntr evilnax i fear
IS IT OVER FOR US?
i dub you... costar evilreign (this goes hard actually)
“STOP, COSTAR! YOUR REIGN OVER CHITTR, IT’S AN EVIL REIGN!” “EVILREIGN? I LIKE THAT NAME.” #HEROBRINE
going to freak the fuck out i think. it'S just one thing after another these nights. going offline guys. DM me if you need something urgent.
can somebody fucking STOP COSTAR???
y'ALL mind if i have a good wipe?
I don't know I guess I'll allow it. But for real fingers crossed for decent wipe for you
hey, thanks.
you guys read the paper today? the galumphs are fucking killer in it.
who the fuck ArE the gAlUmphs.
[/-∊n♱rΩpy gr-∊yƗng Ωu♱./] -- GȺlumpⴵƗng… -- [/ΣȺmΣȺrȺ'Σ Σ屮ȺnΣΩng./]
it'S... in the paper every day? you know. "oh gladys, my aching back!" the fucking galumphs.
yOu'vE fUckIng lost it phuntr I'vE nEvEr hEArd of the gAlUmphs in my god damn lIfE
drinking pepsi max
<<"pepi,,,">>
:: pepsi minimum //
did yꙮu knꙮw they made a new pepsi that's flavꙮred like mushrꙮꙮms - The Non-Mystical Regular Guy Man
s0unds b0mb as hell
whats the differwnce between that and normal bepis
sugar free
I'm ordering a couple cases for you, I only really keep Coke Zero and Orange Crush in the office.
c0ke zer0 is g00d t00 if y0ure getting that w0uld y0u get me s0me fanta crims0n cherry
In fact, let me know what other snacks and stuff you want for the mini fridge.
seedless grapes!!!!!!