@consequentlyOblique — #violence

walking back from the arcade (where i fucking owned by the way) and i see this purple and bronze getting a little confrontational. i shit you not this purple jumped a 15 feet straight into the air and double fist punched the top of this dude'S head. he bounced a good 4 feet off the ground, shit left a crack in the sidewalk. i think he lived but holy fucking shit. got my ass out of there because she started looking my way. definitely could have taken her because i'M awesome but holy FUCK. if she was in troll tekken i'D pick her because the combos off that bounce would be crazy. #violence #holySHIT

spent the night at the rectangular trading cardboard store. i was stomping this dude across from me and he got so infuriated he literally leaped across the table at me. blasted a marble straight to the dome. instant KO. lucky i didn'T blow his head off. his nerdy friends just stood over him like "ooooh fuuuuck oh dude oh shit are you okay." while i just sat there rifling through his pockets. anyways if anyone needs a holographic torturer of the dark beyond hit me up. #violence

thinking about blocking the #lyrics tag. the only time we should be saying lyrics? on a friday, 7pm, i'VE drank my fifth margarita in the park and i'M strutting into the open mic. someone desperately tries to stop me but i reveal all the plastic explosive strapped to my chest. mr brightside four times in a row. the crowd goes mild #violence #substance

new reward scheme for all my loyal fans out there 5 likes: personal thank you message 10 likes: a crisp IRL high five 20 likes: a firm handshake and 20 caegars 1 like: bash my head against the wall until death #violence