Phuntr Guynax
@consequentlyOblique
guaranteed chittr shitposter. tickler of the funny chitin and certifiable chud. #teamchudleader
YOO. II AAM NOOT AA FAAT CHVVD. .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. CAALYRAA NIIVVEEN COOVVNT YOOVVR DAAYS.
WE GOT A LIVE ONE.
inspector chud on the scene
꧁#SFW꧂ ꧁#BUGLERATING꧂ ꧁@consequentlyOblique ꧂ ꧁So. This is my full description of Phuntr Guynax's bugle. Brass instrument. Do not misread this.꧂ ꧁It is older. Donated. Probably touched by many hands and at least one troll with extremely bad breath. The finish is worn around the places where fingers would rest, and there is a small dent near the bell that makes me think it was either dropped, swung, or used to punctuate an argument.꧂ ꧁Ｓｔａｔｓ꧂ ꧁Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈ： 6꧂ ꧁Structurally intact. Not pristine.꧂ ꧁Ｐｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ： 1꧂ ꧁It is a bugle. It should not bend. If it does bend, that is bad.꧂ ꧁Ｌｅｎｇｔｈ： 5꧂ ꧁Standard enough. Comfortable to hold. ꧂ ꧁Ｇｉｒｔｈ： 4꧂ ꧁The tubing is narrow, but the bell gives it presence. Most of the visual confidence is in the flare. That is normal for bugles.꧂ ꧁Ｘ－Ｆａｃｔｏｒ: 0.꧂ ꧁Ａｔｔｒｉｂｕｔｅｓ꧂ ꧁Ｓｃｅｎｔ：꧂ ꧁Old brass, dust, tarnish, stale case fabric.꧂ ꧁Ｔａｓｔｅ：꧂ ꧁I do not recommend tasting it. Coppery. Bitter. Like regret and coins.꧂ ꧁Ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ：꧂ ꧁Cool, smooth, lightly tarnished. Slight roughness near the dent. ꧂ ꧁Ｓｅｃｒｅｔｉｏｎｓ：꧂ ꧁Condensation. Spit. Possibly valve oil.꧂ ꧁Ｗｅｉｇｈｔ：꧂ ꧁Light-medium. Easy to carry.꧂ ꧁Overall: battered, metallic, stubborn, emotionally suspicious, and more dignified than expected. This is a serviceable bugle. Possibly cursed. Definitely needs cleaning.꧂
thank you for this. my bugle finally feels seen. i'M going to play you a little ditty (terribly) on it in celebration
꧁Clean it first, Phuntr. If you give mono to Kaikka I'll blow you to smithereens.꧂
i'D blow myself to smithereens first but your worry is noted and also appreciated.
im.surprised.how.many.medicullers.there.are.on.chittr.now its.grown.quite.a.bit
let'S get some more fearetical physicists involved
holy shit. did i just invent you? in my imagination?
quantum chittr user
that’s really SOOOOO funny, actually the hardest laugh i’ve had in days, that the most emotionally constipated bitch in the whole universe would tell ME i’m too invested in my feelings. news flash, bitch!!!! that’s an integral part of teamwork!!!! feelings!!!! ooga booga!!!! ykw, you have so much to say about my folds, why don’t you come over and i’ll show you how you’ll fold under my fucking spear. i’m tired of your shit!!!! i’d throw you into the doomed abyss if i could. #directposting
strong mediate on this one
https://media.tenor.com/R3X5XcvqUsoAAAAM/chihuahua-angry.gif
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I ★m the only pl★yer in de★dlock who knows how to push l★nes.
but sylink i want sinners
PHUNTR YOU WILL PUSH THE MOST EFFICIENT SOURCE OF SOULS SO THEY ★RE ★T LE★ST NOT ★T W★LKER ★ND YOU WILL LIKE IT!
belltower triple sinners
⧃ Goodlight, all.
goodlight baby
⧃ What.
just messing around big guy get some rest
⧃ @goldenGigabyte Come get your man.
she'S busy macking on me. snitch.
WATCHING BUGGY CRASH COMPILATIONS WHILE DRIVING. EACH CRASH I SAY “SURE GLAD I’M NOT THAT GUY.”
just moving swiftly on from that last reply huh
APPARENTLY COMEDY IS ILLEGAL NOW.
we'VE actually made it ultra-legal
HR DOESN’T LIKE ME.
thought that said "he" and was like "no i do..."
PHUNTR HATES ME HE WANTS TO SPRAY ME DOWN WITH FILTHY TAP WATER.
washing off my filthy costar
OOOHHHH, I’M A FILTHY LITTLE THING.
Well looook what we have here
WE HAVE A FILTHY LITTLE CHUD IN OUR HANDS.
What if i make yoour chitt my banner
THAT’S JUST FIRE. I WOULD FUCK YOU.
sorry i'LL give you guys some space holy shit
Re★ding more physics stufd before I rest. You he★rd of this "strong force" stuff? Kind★ cr★zy.
excited to aura farm in your dreams tolight.
Nopppppe, dre★ming ★bout ★ girl.
you'RE going to sweep up and wrap your arms around her from behind. "i'M so happy to see you again" and then she'LL turn around and it'S just me dude
I will throw ★ tom★to ★t you (★w★ke Phuntr) if this h★ppens.
what the FUCK!