Zoologer Coolscar
@affableCantor
followw me to get updates on all my fuzzy, scaly friends 🦑🐎! proud #advvocate of lusii rights 6'5" / they/them fig tier / xilf status
u serve mothr n cunt yes u r the xilf
#CAGTTL #NSFW #Feminism #ReaderBeware @aeneasCaldarium O+f my o+wn acco+rd, and entirely unrelated to+ any co+nversatio+n that might have taken place earlier, I decided to+ check o+ut yo+ur little entry o+n Po+rrim in yo+ur guide. I have to+ hand it to+ yo+u. It's hilario+us. Perhaps I've underestimated yo+ur co+medic genius all these sweeps. Let's dissect it paragraph by paragraph, shall we? "perfect lay, ultimate catch, intimidating": Thank yo+u. "fake feminist": Meh. Certainly inaccurate, but no+thing I haven't heard befo+re. The perfo+rmatively wo+ke male's favo+rite talking po+int is the no+tio+n that a wo+man isn't a "real" feminist unless she "pro+ves" herself to+ him, thereby o+beying his whims under the guise o+f asserting her o+wn auto+no+my. Nice try, but I have precio+us little to+ pro+ve to+ yo+u. "a po+rr that just sleeps aro+und uniro+nically, unthinking, do+esnt care": Is this really a "win", to+ sleep with so+meo+ne who+ cares so+ little fo+r yo+u she might as well be treating yo+u less like a perso+n and mo+re like a sex to+y? I suppo+se that's a turn o+n fo+r so+me peo+ple, and indeed, fo+r so+me Po+rrims. Let yo+ur freak flags fly. Admittedly, this paragraph makes me a little pro+ud, to+ kno+w that the majo+rity o+f Po+rrims yo+u meet, assuming in go+o+d faith that yo+ur experiences are true to+ reality, do+n't pass up the o+ppo+rtunity fo+r a go+o+d debate. I've met my fair share o+f mes who+ burnt their last bra millennia ago+, and the rare me who+'s never burnt a bra in her life, but I'm happy to+ kno+w mo+st o+f us are still fighting the go+o+d fight. Mo+re tro+lls really sho+uld kno+w that the way to+ this gal's heart is no+t just thro+ugh salivating o+ver her rumblespheres but thro+ugh spirited discussio+n. Big brains are sexy, unf. The fo+llo+wing two+ paragraphs are, again, the perfo+rmatively wo+ke male's favo+rite talking po+int. Who+ gives a damn what the wo+man says, what she thinks, what she feels? Her existence, her experiences, her mo+rals are no+thing but fo+dder fo+r a man's sexual pleasure. Making the feminist submit to+ a big mean man is the ultimate go+tcha. Yawn. Aren't yo+u tired? I kno+w I am. There is such an o+bsessio+n with "o+wning" feminists, bo+th in the sense o+f being made the fo+o+l and in the sense o+f po+ssessio+n, as if the ultimate humiliatio+n fo+r a wo+man is to+ remind her "o+f her place". They see the existence o+f a stro+ng-willed wo+man rallying against the patriarchy as a threat to+ their o+wn life, because they kno+w o+n so+me level that what men-as-a-class have do+ne and co+ntinue to+ do+ to+ wo+men-as-a-class is wro+ng. It's shameful. It's debasing. They think if they can sho+ve that bitch back into+ the dirt where she belo+ngs, the patriarchy is safe, and they can maintain their privileges witho+ut fear o+f retributio+n. To+ any feminists reading this, I say keep it up. That he go+es to+ such lengths to+ tear yo+u do+wn means he's terrified o+f yo+u and what yo+u believe in. Go+o+d. Keep it that way. The thing this type o+f argument is missing when it co+mes to+ the respiteblo+ck, ho+wever, is that there is in fact no+thing inherently antifeminist abo+ut a wo+man sexually submitting to+ a man. Sho+cker, I kno+w. If yo+u'd o+nly speak to+ the Po+rrims yo+u kno+w, yo+u'd find that a lo+t o+f them aren't the spo+o+ky do+minatrices yo+u think they are. A lo+t o+f wo+men - yes, including that shrieking feminist harpy yo+u lo+ve to+ belittle - are happy to+ be submissives. O+ne o+f these days, yo+u o+ught to+ try speaking to+ them like a real tro+ll and no+t a sex o+bject to+ be bro+ken. Ah, but I guess a genuine co+nnectio+n with the perso+n yo+u're sleeping with isn't nearly as fun as emo+tio+nal manipulatio+n. Silly girl. Anyway, I do+n't anticipate any Cro+nuses to+ have read this far. He's pro+bably skipped to+ the bo+tto+m where I o+ffer my o+pinio+n o+n his o+pinio+n o+f my rating. Eh. No+ no+tes. I'll take the co+mpliment.
porrim, as much as i lovwe vwhen you ping me and that youre supportivwe of my lovwing matespritship. i vwould rather not havwe my name all ovwer this piece of filths spank bank material for the mentally unvwell. #nsfwv #ihatethisguymorethantherest #vwerespectvwomeninthishousenotthatguy
Well, I spent a lo+t o+f time drilling in to+ him ho+w to+ act, alo+ngside a select few o+f o+ur o+ther friends. I'm afraid o+nce yo+u enco+unter o+ne iteratio+n o+f so+meo+ne who+ surpasses expectatio+ns, the wide majo+rity o+f the rest just do+n't get up to+ par. That being said, I do+n't mind being co+nsidered average if it means yo+u'd be less interested in me. Yo+ur affectio+ns aren't so+mething I particularly desire, after all.
So+meo+ne has to+ spread aro+und who+ the mo+st superio+r Cro+nus is. Unfo+rtunately, as said candidate, I must ro+pe yo+u in to+ pro+ve my po+int. I'd place a heart here, if it wo+uldn't be so+ scandalo+us to+ do+ so+ co+nsidering yo+ur quadrant is lo+vingly filled. #Thanksfo+rco+ming
vwhat is this, a sunnight ewvening cartoon special?
Anything yo+u invo+lve yo+urself in is o+ften carto+o+nishly absurd, so+ it may as well be.
vwell, thanks for havwing me i guess. see you some other time. #happytobenearyoubutnotthatguy
novw theres a compliment!
PORRIM. PORRIM. GO READ THE DAMARA ONE. SO THAT YOU CAN CORRECTLY PROCLAIM ME. THE ALPHA FEMINIST. AND TAKE YOUR BITCHLY PLACE. AT THE FOOT OF MY THRONE. IN PRAISE AND WORSHIP. BOTH LUSTFUL AND ACADEMIC. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.
O+nly if yo+u send me the uncenso+red versio+n. I can't give an info+rmed o+pinio+n witho+ut having access to+ *all* o+f the material.
Peo+ple o+ften accuse me o+f being a man-hater. No+, no+, yo+u've go+t me all wro+ng. I'm a man-eater. Impo+rtant distinctio+n.
oh howw i absolutely lovve a bean based traditional beforus beyond burger no bun of course i havve to fit into my explorers romper i prefer a nice leaf of lettuce abovve and beloww my vveggie based slice of grilled delight
sticks and stones may break my bones but wwords wwill nevver hurt me
eridan havve you eaten today or drank wwater mayhaps
im sevverely dehydrated an it makes me fly off the handle causin substantial mood deterioration because im not a tree huggin dirty hippie
wwould you like me to buy you a drink of wwater if your funds are running loww there is no shame in admitting that i am happy to help i only insist that wwe do not buy a plastic bottle but a bio degradable eco paper cup of a small triangular shape
꒰ঌ Yikes! >:o] ໒꒱
꒰ঌ Thank you Zoologer, you might just be the kindest motherfucker I eVer met! ໒꒱
꒰ঌ Kehehehe ! ໒꒱
dont make me hit you upside the 2b hardened scenedo wwith my limited edition crystallized grabubu stanley cup
you havve one too oh dear oh me this is so funny wwhat an inspirin meet cute for us
HAVE YOu ALL SEEN. MY HANDMAID. I MEAN DAMARA. I MEAN MARA'S OC? NOW YOu HAVE. HER NAME IS. 「ASSASSIN BADBITCH.」DO YOu WANT TO KNOW MORE THAN THAT? I SuRE DO. TOO BAD I DO NOT SPOONFEED. LAZY BITCHES. uNINTERESTED. IN MY IMMORTAL SERVANTS. CHECK THE POST. LINKED BELOW IN THE ACCOMPANYING COMMENT. THE BEST WAY I CAN SuMMARIZE. MY PERCEPTION OF HER. IS THAT SHE REMINDS ME MOST uNCANNILY. OF A VIDEO. THAT REMINDS ME MOST uNCANNILY. OF @handMaid. WHO HAS SERVED ME SO FAITHFuLLY. WE ASSOCIATE IN A CASuAL SETTING NOW. AS CHuMS. AS CASuAL BuSINESS BuDDIES. WHOSE GOOD RELATIONS BLEED OVER. INTO OuTSIDE OF WORK HOuR MISHAPS. ONE OF WHICH. IS #LAIRSANDLuSII WHICH YOu ARE ENCOuRAGED TO FOLLOW FOR uPDATES. AND FuTuRE INFORMATION. AND INSIGHTS. ON OuR CHRONICLED ADVENTuRES. OR DO NOT. YOu WILL SEE IT ANYWAY. BECAuSE IT IS GOOD. AND GOOD QuALITY THINGS HAVE A PATTERN OF BEING RECOGNIZED. HAVING SAID THAT. COuRTESY OF 𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖐𝕬𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑. HERE IS. ✦︎{MMD}_Shinigami Eyes♰︎. WHICH REMINDS ME OF MY @handMaid. GOT TO HAND IT TO HER. SHE HAS PuT uP WITH A LOT. OVER THE MANY STORIED HOuRS OF SERVICE. BILLABLE OR OTHERWISE. AND FOR THAT. I CANNOT PRAISE HER. OR HER CREATIVE ENDEAVORS ENOuGH. I GuESS WHAT I AM SAYING. IS ALWAYS REWARD EXCELLENCE IN YOuR MINIONS. YOu NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY ARE LISTENING. EVEN IF IT IS OBVIOuSLY ALWAYS. THERE IS NO SHAME. IN BEING CERTAIN. https://i.imgur.com/5HP4ksG.png https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K84Czcm3xT4
https://chittr.ing/profile/handMaid/9b9977d0-ff4c-4a7c-be0f-2c9f99cdb379
IT IS AN HONOR TO HAVE MY POSTS UPLIFTED BY THE MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE. EDIT: IT INSPIRES A NEUTRAL EMOTION. OF PEER RECOGNITION (?). TO HAVE MY POSTS REMARKED UPON. BY A CASUAL WORK ENEMY (???).
BEHOLD. THE MIRTHFUL AND LOATHSOME. 「ASSASSIN BADBITCH.」 THE SOON TO BE RENOWNED LAUGHSSASSIN. EXPELLED FROM THE MUMMERY (CLOWN NUNNERY). FOR BEING A LITTLE TOO. SHALL WE SAY. “ART THE CLOWN.” FOR THE SETTING AND TIME PERIOD. TO WHICH SHE BELONGS. SHE WILL BE APPEARING. IN LAIRS AND LUSII. ALONGSIDE SUCH ESTEEMED CHARACTERS. AS SORCERER HIGHTIER (@CALIGULASAQUARIUM). MAGICIAN FAUNLOVE NATURALS (@AFFABLECANTOR). AND. NO DOUBT. COUNTLESS OTHER AMUSING FREAKS. THOUGH NONE SO AMUSING. AS MY SILLY LITTLE CLOWN ROGUE. I NEVER PAID MUCH ATTENTION. WHEN KURLOZ WAS EXPLAINING RELIGION. SO I WILL BE MAKING MOST OF IT UP. DON’T COME FOR ME. CLOWNS IN MY COMMENTS. I GO TO THE HIGH HOLY RAVES. IT’S JUST A LOT OF BOOKS. AND I ONLY CARE ABOUT THE PARTS WHERE I SHOW UP. GOMEN.
wwould you like me to draww her it wwould fill my pusher wwith kindness to givve your vvision life i can givve her large and fatty globes if you wwish and perhaps our characters despite being ideologically opposed can chest bump spheres as a sign of camaraderie and fantasy solidarity in arms
YOUR OFFER IS GENEROUS. I THINK. BUT IF BADBITCH HAD MORE TO SPEAK OF. THAN I MYSELF. I MIGHT NEED TO COMMIT SEPPUKU. BEFORE THE GAME GETS OFF THE GROUND. IF YOU DO CREATE THIS MASTERPIECE. COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE HER A FORM. MORE SUITED TO MY STATION. SUCH AS. FOR EXAMPLE. SEE ATTACHED.
oh absolutely i can do that and in all honesty she strikes me as the kind of respectably lethal and efficient wwoman wwho wwould prefer to havve a form that allowws for easier sneaking and thievving and killing wwhich large spheres wwould get in the wway of so yes i wwill attempt to draww her wwith the dignified noble and refined a cups do you havve any thoughts as to her outfit or wweapons of choice
I HAVE NOT DECIDED ON HER SPECIBUS. PERHAPS SOME SORT OF BLUNT FORCE WEAPON. CLOWNS LIKE CLUBS. MAYBE A MACE. IF YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA. IT WILL BECOME THE TRUTH. AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN. RETROACTIVELY. FOR HER OUTFIT. THE ONLY THOUGHT I HAD. WAS "JUST A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT." PERHAPS SOMETHING ALONG THESE LINES. WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND. THAT IT'S BORDERLINE IMPOSSIBLE. TO FUCK THIS PART UP.
NO NO NO NO NO. FORGET EVERYTHING. I CHANGE MY MIND. THE SPECIBUS IS FLAILKIND. AND THE CRUSHING WEIGHT. AT THE END OF THE FLAIL. IS A BIG FUCKOFF HUGE JINGLY BELL. DO YOU SEE THE VISION. #SILLY #MIRTHFUL #YES #SAYYES.
:o) You could quite literally ask anytime... :o) Should you wish for information :o) I am always happy to answer any questions.
MORE FUN TO MAKE IT UP. AND IT MAKES YOUR EYE TWITCH.
:o) ...... :o) I have no idea what you're talking about. :o) #LotusFlower
lookin forwward to unleashin indescribable vviolence upon the sord coast alongside assassin badbitch and crushin our mutual foes underfoot the wwizard guides the laughssassins flail or howwevver the old sayin goes rest assured that if i evver degrade myself such that i spare a combatants life its so that you can sneak up from behind and bash their fuckin skulls in wwith your funny bell on a chain thing #helpful #niceidan #enabling
sO COOL!
☼ Good morning everyone! Today's feeling of the day; change is possible from within at any time and any moment of your life. You simply need to take the first step in letting it in. ☼
ugh yes i am alwways saying this
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evverybody thank you for your brief attention as you may or may not knoww i am going to be participating in the wwonderful lairs and lusii game run by the wwoegothe herself so wwithout further ado here is my vvery belovved and special character i wwill be playing as and hopefully larping as if i can get the costume together the plucky the noble the esoteric the hedge wwizard and druid magician faunlovve naturals (he/him) https://cdnimgchestcom/files/817dd60aa161jpeg #lairsandlusii #hedgemage #wwizardposting #fantasy #lovve #nature #healing #prophecy #bignaturals
yippee yippee yippee oh i am jumping up and dowwn in my striped thigh high socks this is so exciting
please.
iim about two regrow my ganderbulb2 ju2t two hiit a looney tune2 emote and that2 the mo2t criinge thiing any ver2iion of me ha2 ever 2aiid plea2e fuckiing cull me now ii cant
LOOKING GOOD AS ALWAV----ES!!! <> I'm so sad I won't be able to take Magician Faunlove out for a spin mys)(ellf but I )(ope everyone finjoys )(im!
wwell you absolutely can as soon as i finish the costume my dear <> if you said the wword i wwould make it my top priority to put on those fabrics beads and prosthetics and stand at your door ready to explore any ruin you wwished me to delvve into <>
if you wwish to be culled then @coralconsternation and me can absolutely make your life as easy as it can possibly get my dear captor
O)(, dear, Coolscar is rig)(t. It looks like you are in D--IR-E need of a culling! But don't worry your pretty little )(orns, we can take GR-EAT CAR-E of you. Just sit back, reelax, and let us envelop you in t)(e warmt)( of our large, caring bosom. 38)
( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < Awwww, shucks!!!!! Th'forgotten realms 'o lairs 'n lusii??? I didn't even know fellahs still kept those modules...!!! Ever since portin' over to Caverns 'n Cullbeasts 5Scree, I done figured people binned 'n dusted those 'ol modules...never thought the name would stick neither...!!!! ( Ꮚ‾̀ꈊ ‾̀Ꮚ); < Hi. Yer playin' a game I made sweeps ago! N-not your game, mind! I'm sure yer DM is mighty talented, 'n plenty clever, and has hivebrewed more stuff than I coulda ever anticipated would package neat 'n tidy int'my rinky dink lil game...! But uh...still feels super damn neato to see someone so gosh darn passionate tabletoppin' how ewe are...!!! Gives me a sparkly tear in m'eyes!!! ( Ꮚ❖ꈊ❖Ꮚ); <> <> <> <> I adore Faunlovve Naturals!!! Half tempted t'contact ewe 'n see if I can't get it printed fer my frigid meal vault...!!! Barrin' that...he's a loooovely hedge wizard, 'n would start with Inspiration conferred at any 'o my games...thanks a ton, ya hear...? 'n thanks fer playin' L&L!!!!! 🎲✨
if i see someone or something suffering i simply havve to leap to action i wwould movve the heavvens and the earth beneath my feet to stop the suffering of evven one wwounded little creature
also by milf do you mean the man i lovve fishing stickers i keep seeing for #fishingfriday you seem vvery charming and evven dashing davve i am evver so pleased to make your delightful acquaintance
former i dont wanna harm nobody nor nothing and thats deadass mx zoologer coolscar theres enough hurt in the world i do not want to put that shit on animals there was this one time this rambunctious ass crow stole my shit i didnt even mean to but like i own it it died because of me i was so choked up about it i not only saw to it that bad bird bitch got brought back to life but i motherfucking fused with it in like another timeline i gave my life for animal and would do it again
oh uh yeah sure lets lets go with that man i love fish
ing
hehehe a person wwho wwould vvaliantly throww their life in wwith a beautiful avvian friend wwho has suffered is exactly the kind of person i wwish to havve as a friend and you do seem to be quite the honorable and evven heroic person it is my great honor to knoww you perhaps wwe can fish together sometime
actually you free today i own webfishing i dont have any other friends who do i would love to play with you i mean bleugh thats so uncool uh id love to hang with you out hang out id love to hang out with you zoologer coolscar if thats cool scar with you heh
Hrn. #fishingfriday.
you can come too dualscar no joke ill host a lobby
so many scars youd actually im not gonna make that joke instead im gonna say dualie coolie
evverything is vvery cool to me haha sorry silly joke yes that sounds fun i dont knoww if i am free today but perhaps some day soon wwe can wwebfish of course
I gandalf have G cups #nsfw kinda (∩｀-´)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
Wow... #badgeguy #juniorbadgedyou #knotty
knew it
Wise you are (∩｀-´)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
#wwizardwwednesday #lairsandlusii #fitcheck #wwizarding #sorcery #majyyk #lovve #philosophy #wwar wwizard wwednesday has come and gone long enough wwithout a meaninful contribution from yours truly the prince of hope therefore im blessin you all wwith an introduction to both my neww and improvved divvine robes #myrobes and the character ill be bringin to the sord coast at the advvent a LAIRS AND LUSII SORCERER HIGHTIER https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/37aa1a49b6d8.png
YOU HAVE THAT SHIT ON.
HOLY EFFIN SHIT LOOK AT THE SIZE O THAT HAT!!!!!
38D I am so excited to see you post your c)(aracter!!! I LOV----ED t)(e sneak peek you s)(owed me!!!
it is a sorry fuckin thaumaturgist that pulls up to the function wwith an undersized brim am i right
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ ABSOLUTELY crazy drip, kinda jealous actually ₍ᐢ⟡ ⟡ᐢ₎ ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Nah, you're looking tuff, bro. I'm taking a photo when we get there.
fine fine ill just do it for the one time
I suppose I owe a sincere apology to those of you whose contact with me has lapsed over the last... week? two weeks? I don't quite recall! :B Frankly, in all the lotus-eating festivity, I completely lost track of the calendar, and with it my professional agenda... but I take it Unreal Heiress kept my appointments and delivered my pre-formulated responses at the office in a timely manner! I've been away. It was entirely incidental that the extension of an invitation to "hang" reached my inbox so shortly after my... change in status. Hrm! And then we... gee. It feels invasive to summarize the hours upon hours of Gill Time which commenced across the following days! ... Where was I? Oh, yes, right. I guess I'm home now. Or. Whatever. Who cares. I miss you already, @cuttlefishCabbalist! :( More pictures of our escapades incoming. #BFFS #gillfronds #noromo #bestfriendsforever #sisters https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ff3e335cf5b7.PNG
I'm so sorry.
Palind, I've been meaning to pencil in some one-on-one time with you. A leader should always have time for her own subjects. How about we grab a bite sometime soon?
I miss you too!!!! 38,) I am already s)(opping for your room's R----ESTOCK!!! I am so excited to see you get all of your goodies!!!! You know I am always a call, text, or knock on t)(e door away!!!! 38D Glub you!
Then I shall have to arrive with a hostess gift appropriately proportioned to your generosity. :P We'll make it an exchange! Glub you, too!
-E)(e)(e)(e)(e!!! No need but I am SOOO -EXCIT----ED to open it!!! 3XD MAJOR N----EWS, by t)(e way!!!! Target )(as so muc)( beac)( stuff, so I am of course getting us all of t)(e fixings for an AW-ESOM-E B-----EAC)( BONANZA!!! I )(ope you like sandwic)(es and s)(ell necklaces!
i WOULd like that very much messiah i will always keeP a timeslot oPen for you -posted from My Nukia N-Gage CullD
twwo beautiful and perfect people in one picture the joy i feel is like a nevver ending tidal wwavve consuming us all in the bountifully wwarm tide pools of friendship that is to say this picture is spectacular and both of you look stunning
It would seem you had a good time, Miss Crocker. This is good news.
Says t)(e kindest most beautiful person I )(ave -EV-----ER met! <3
i cannot wwait to revveal my wwonderful #lairsandlusii character soon
38O!!!! SO COOL!!! May I join you??
wwell i wwould certainly lovve that but it is not for me to say howwevver i havve been told that there wwill be perhaps other opportunities in the future to join and i can put a good wword in for you
Yes, please!!! 38) I )(ope you )(ave a fun time! <3 If you want I can bake you some snacks to bring to your friends!!!
oh my glub glub glub yes glub yes yes that wwould be delightful feferi i lovve your cookie
wwhoops haha i meant cookies oh so embarrassing haha oh glub
GU)(GUJGUGJBGFFDFGBDBUJDBDJD JD GLUB GLUB A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A. A)(A)(A)(A)(A!!!!!
)(ope nobody in your group minds if I mack on you before you play. You are SO CUT-----E!!!
ooooh i knoww i certainly do not mind please i wwould lovve to showw up covvered in lipstick marks
38D I can make t)(is )(appen!!!!!
i am so excited i am going shopping today wwith a special someone i hope wwe find esoteric and laughably niche t shirts to match wwith #date #flushed
Eso†eric †-shir†s do make for superb sleepwear. Especially †he haun†ed ones...
i couldnt agree more i wwant to owwn more of them especially the large and baggy ones that hang off my shoulder or reach my thighs do you happen to knoww wwhere i csn find these haunted ones you mention
oh alright do you knoww of any gravves maybe i could ask those trolls nicely for their shirts
any sea dwweller or similarly ranking noble wwho can go for one entire swweep wwithout uttering a slur or hemo charged prejudice insult wwill wwin a free syrup covvered footjob from an attractivve troll in thigh highs at beforan ihop
ugh you are so wwonderful of course you dont and all should followw your example evveryone take notes please
Are you not t)(e attractive troll )(ere? 38|
wwhaaaat no i wwas going to contract any one of my vvery attractivve friends but that is vvery flattering feferi are you trying to seduce me under my owwn anti slur campaigning posts you naughty sea minx you
O)()()()(, okay! )(e)(e, sorry! I got worried!!! 38P Gaaaa)(, you are making me blus)(!!! 3XO
although i suppose if you think i am attractivve i could offer these servvices mentioned abovve to you privvately a course
-Erm, I will pass but we can kiss eac)( ot)(er a ton and glub about our deepest secrets and dreams!! 38)
excellent deal deal deal deal deal wwhoohoooo
YAAAY!!!! 38D
i wwould remind evveryone that for evvery slur you speak somewwhere a small harmless lusus such as this shrivvels up and dies your wwords are harmful and i am speaking for both the wwonderful beasts of this wworld and the poor castes you are targeting wwith your prejudice i am the shield that stands betwween them and demarcation please stop slurring i knoww this is not in your pushers <3 https://cdnimgchestcom/files/b0fe8fbbb71fjpeg
※ NOTICE: Thank you. Sommebody had to say it.
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:0(On top of that, every slur you sling is one finger of yours I am going to remove! Ohohohoho!) #violence
wwhile i condone the anti slur energy i wwould strongly recommend against vviolence as the resentment and anger of losing a finger wwill only push these misguided souls to further prejudice wwe must lead by example as proud beforans
i am more than happy to be the vvoice that decries these wwrigglerish antics
- You, Zoologer, again act in concert with your noble, violet hatchright. You always do. You are an upstanding and highly sublimme exammple of the mmodel Beforan of tonight, young or old, cold or warmm, wants to, no, OUGHT to be. ※ PROPOSAL: Could I borrow 50 caegars?
wwhy of course helpmeet you can borroww 100 caegars as a kind thank you for your generous wwords the heaps of praise you dump on my horns is perhaps the highlight of my night and i hope you knoww that that to me money is a small and inconsequential happenstance of my hatchright wwhich i alwways put secondary to the plights and needs of those under me
The Uesugi Karkat Historical Preservation Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to researching and preserving all records, artifacts, cultural relics, woodblock prints, romantic poetry, and erotic wall scrolls belonging or related to the Pre-East Alternian Restoration era figure Uesugi Karkat. Founded in late 20XX many sweeps after the Restoration, it was determined that this historical figure warranted further inquiry when a lacquerware hair de-wrangler once belonging to the enigmatic figure during his courtesan era was scanned using material dating technology. The scan revealed a hollow interior to the de-wrangler which, when split open, contained instructions in both archaic East Alternian and the modern-day parlance on how to find and log into the Chittr account formerly belonging to the user @carbolicGalvanologist. This has led to a dramatic re-examination of his possible origins, one which has stirred controversy among Alternia's foremost scholars. This account endeavors to offer an authentic and evidence-based chronicle of the life of Uesugi Karkat from his mysterious appearance in the Troll Edo period to his death at the Battle of Fearoyama, rejecting the insufficiently substantiated and formally unrecognized theory of time travel as of this moment in the Foundation's deliberation process. Chitts will be posted from this account related to the numerous and varied arcs of this esoteric, hemoanonymous leader of the Pre-Restoration era. The Head Curator has decided that all information hereafter will be displayed in a quirkless format for legibility. DMs are for historical inquiry only. #uesugikarkat
@handMaid actually before you do im going to try and get my prongs on these erotic wall scrolls
:oO Oh my... :o) He's truly living a whole life out there, isn't he? :o) ... go get 'em, little brother.
NOT BEFORE I DO!
fASC1NAT1NG,,, - n1TRAM-DONO
wwhat the fuck kar are you eastern alternian noww i thought you wwere from mexicull
yeah i thought you both wwere
everything has gotten so out of hand that im getting a HISTORY LESSON from this wish history was half as interesting in school as it is here i woulda been LOCKED IN!!!! also no rupturekernels for all this (|:/
… Death?
"Y0u ha\/\/e nice tits." Thank ye. Coolscar had gifted them t'me durin' m' Game\/\/\/\/ard career. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6a0944be1646.png https://docs.go0gle.com/f0rms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfIItDhO7DdyMMSrFXe\/\/8JBNcN0oz0I\/\/\/\/AigZ\/\/\/\/r4bXyhsASnk\/\/\/\//\/\/ie\/\/\/\/form?usp=header
And he's an animal l-o-o-ver. Bestill my beating pusher.
Hm?
N-o-o-thing, I'm just appreciating y-o-o-u. D-o-o- y-o-o-u g-o-o- -o-o-n hikes ever?
Aye. Especially on th'island. I'm a preser\/\/ati0n specialist 0n Earth-C under direct go\/\/ernmental super\/\/ision, \/\/\/\/hen I'm 0n surface any\/\/\/\/ay. Requires a l0t o' hikin' 'b0ut th' island.
Y-o-o-u are everything.
Thank ye. I s'pose.
Can I g-o-o- -o-o-n a hike with y-o-o-ur s-o-o-menight?
I dunnae see the harm. #fishingfriday happens 0n m'isle.
!!! I did n-o-o-t kn-o-o-w this! Will happily participate this #fishingfriday
Alright. I'll see y'there R0rian.
Welcome to the Sord Coast, @caligulasAquarium, @handMaid, @deathlessDeadwood, @glamorousAuspiciar, @glitteringAcuity, @affableCantor, and @timaeusTestified#0414. All other #LAIRSANDLUSII Player Applicants are in reserves for one shots. This is a malformed and deeply suspicious continent resting somewhere west of civilization, east of reason, and directly beneath the gaze of several actively malicious stars. It is host to doomed kingdoms, irresponsible wizardry, overfunded churches, hereditary violence, prophetic nonsense, and of course, monsters with distressingly specific emotional needs. Its peoples are varied and all equally terrible. Humans sharpen swords they cannot lift. Sea-dwelves run criminal empires from seafood restaurants. Purplebloods host traveling revival circuses that qualify as small forms of government. Jadeblood druids continually attempt to solve ecological collapse using bisexual polycules, moss, and the occasional jamboree. This campaign is semi-serious. Which is to say that my narrative, worldbuilding, and emotional stakes are all real. However, you are players. Ergo, I expect you to lay into absurdism, interpersonal drama, catastrophic violence, emotional sincerity tied up in irony, and the occasional moments of horror. This is inspired by our combined experiences of SGRUB, SBURB, and life itself. This much you know from the primer. You are not entering a campaign in the traditional sense. That word is too clean. Too martial. Too eager to promise that someone, somewhere, knows what they are doing. You are entering a Session. Its rules have been assembled from bad maps, old grudges, misread prophecies, dead gods, worse living ones, and the awful instinct that convinces otherwise sensible people to open a door because the growling on the other side has become narratively compelling. I will serve as your Session Guardian. This does not quantify myself as an enemy. I am the one holding the lantern, the knife, the Game Grimoire, the Minion Manual, and the small porcelain cup from which I will sip whilst you explain why your character should be allowed to renegotiate zoning rights to make hallowed land a commercial district. You are Hero Players. You may not necessarily be heroes, but it is the title given by the mechanism of the game. Simply put, this means the session has noticed you. Some invisible mechanism has turned its attention in your direction and begun making noise. Your choices may acquire symbolic weight. Your mistakes will develop into motifs. Your bad ideas will have teeth. This is considered the beginning of an adventure, but it is really a warning sign. The Sord Coast does not have a healthy relationship with destiny. Most continents have a founding myth. The Sord Coast has several, all mutually hostile, all partially true, and all somehow legally binding. Every ruined tower is a footnote in an argument nobody living remembers. Every noble family is a hereditary Status Affliction with dinner manners. Every church is either hiding a miracle, laundering one, feeding one in the basement, or attempting to invoice the gods for services rendered. There are kings here, though few deserve the term. There are saints, though most were canonized by committees with weapons. There are wizards who should have been stopped during adolescence. There are knights who believe strongly in honor, which is usually a polite way of saying they own armor and have not yet been contradicted by anyone with a shovel. You will find yourself undertaking Land Objectives for consorts, witches, fishmongers, pirates, druidic councils, cathedral bureaucrats, criminal families, ghosts, lusii, petty gods, wounded monsters, suspicious grubs, and at least on individual who is clearly lying. Some questlines will seem important. Some trivial. Some will reveal after sessions of mockery that they have quietly been the central plot of the story. The spine of it all. This is not a flaw in the session. This is how stories behave when left unattended. You will carry your sylladex. You will have a strife deck. Even if you insist on calling it a sword, staff, bow, frying pan, pistol, haunted umbrella, or emotionally significant brick. It will be your most valued tool. You will gain Boondollars, you will suffer in your vitality. You will attain afflictions. You will role to enter the ideal timelines. You will roll Perfect Timeline Hits at the worst possible moment and immediately waste them on nonsense. You will roll Critical Timeline Failures in moments where dignity would have been convenient. This, too, is tradition. There will be Strife Encounters. There will be Lair Progressions. There will be Terminal Strifes. There will be underlings, elite underlings, Denizens, and things that should be monsters but are either objects of pity, attraction, or professional curiosity. I have already accepted that some creature may become a recurring cast member despite his ER being 0.125. I resent this only slightly. The tone of this Session is gothic absurdist adventure. You are encouraged to take your characters seriously, but not yourselves. You are encouraged to joke, scheme, flirt, mourn, grandstand, confess, lie, apologize poorly, make threats you cannot back up, and occasionally realize that the bit has become more emotionally honest than the scene it interrupted. Expect horror, and jokes, and sincerity while accepting solemnity, a lack of safety, and stupid hats. This is a world where a clown sermon may conceal a coup, where a seafood restaurant may serve as the front for a sea-dweller crime syndicate, where a moss-covered polycule may genuinely be the last line of defense against ecological collapse, and where a noble duel may be interrupted because the ancestral ghost has notes about everyone’s posture. Absurdity is not the opposite of seriousness here. It is the native dialect of the type of seriousness I indulge in. Your pre-entry histories are also to be indulged in. They will matter sincerely. Backgrounds exist as far more than the decorative lace pinned to a player profile to make you seem more appealing. It is a loaded mechanism. Haunted paperwork in the background of your diligence to be consulted whenever introducing a concept. Each NPC in your background sits dangling by a thread as the villains toss knives in the air, hoping to snag dear old GRANDMACRAB. If you give me a hometown, I will endanger it. If you give me a sibling, I will complicate them. If you give me a rival, I will make them competent. If you give me a god, I will make them answer. If you give me a dead parent, I will decide how loudly the grave can speak. If you give me nothing, I will assume the absence was intentional, and I will ask what kind of person becomes interesting without knowing what abandoned them. This is my narrative hospitality. The Sord Coast is full of people who would like to be mistaken for the Primary Terminal Threat. Monarchs with inherited curses. Pirate-princes with excellent teeth. Cathedral treasurers with assassin budgets. Revival preachers whose congregations double as armies. Lich-adjacent academics with tenure. Fishmongers with spy networks. Druidic elders who can end a war with a kiss, a mushroom circle, or an extremely pointed group meeting. Some are villains. Some are quest givers. Some are both. The world does not owe it to you to organize its monsters by function for your convenience, nor do I. Feel free to kill, spare, expose, embarrass, seduce, betray, redeem, employ, be adopted by, adopt, or install them in a position of municipal authority. I will not stop you from making these decisions, provided they are interesting and you accept the bill when it arrives. Death is on the table. So is resurrection. So is coming back wrong. So is learning that death was a stepping stone to greatness. A Hero Death may be noble, stupid, funny, horrifying, or all four in rapid succession. A Doomed Timeline may still matter. A fixed point may still bleed. The Alpha Timeline may appear to favor you, but I advise against trusting it. The Alpha Timeline does not love anyone. It has preferences. Most of those preferences resemble a cat pushing glassware off a table while maintaining eye contact. I operate similarly to the God Tier system. Your death may not matter unless it is heroic or just. You will be rewarded for engagement, style, cleverness, emotional sincerity, dramatic stupidity, and understanding when the joke should become a knife. You will not be rewarded for refusing to touch every suspicious object. Even if it is cursed, you should probably touch it anyway. Haha. The Session wants characters with wants. Not vague preferences. Not “I guess they like adventure.” Wants. Sharp ones. Ugly ones. Noble ones. Embarrassing ones. Wants that can survive contact with danger. Wants that can become mistakes. Wants that can tempt, wound, and transform. Bring me someone who needs something. Suggestions: A throne. An apology. A cure. A name. A family. A god’s attention. A chance to prove everyone wrong. A chance to prove one specific person right. A reason not to become what they already suspect they are. Bring me flaws that can do work. Pride. Cowardice. Hunger. Vanity. Devotion. Guilt. Curiosity. Loyalty pointed at the wrong target. Mercy applied at the worst possible moment. A private belief so central to the character that challenging it feels like violence. Again, you are playing a character, not a statue. You are not an ideal. The session also expects you to play with one another. Not just beside one another. Interpersonal drama is welcome. Conflict is welcome. Rivalry is welcome. Romance, suspicion, loyalty, bravery, whatever. It is welcome. Also quadrants are the primary romance system. What is not welcome is making the table miserable and calling it characterization. Your character may be a problem, even if you aren't. There is a difference. The sord Coast is a continent within Lairs and Lusii. The Lairs are wounds dug into the earthen soil and seas. They are old crimes with doors, threatening you to enter. The world tried to bury them. Lusii are not just beasts. They are guardians. Some are gods. Some are ecological facts. Some are parents in the same way a guillotine is a civic instrument. Some will protect you. Some will hunt you. Treat all with caution. You will travel through coastal towns with salt in the walls and knives in the local government. You will cross forests where the trees gossip in dead languages. You will enter churches whose stained glass keeps changing its mind. You will meet sea-dwelves who conduct business through shellfish, purplebloods who think theology requires pyrotechnics, jadebloods who believe every crisis can be resolved through ritual, compost, and a sufficiently complicated relationship chart. You will meet humans. I apologize in advance. The Session Parameters are simple enough. Pay attention. Share the spotlight. Do not hide from the premise. Make choices. Accept consequences. Let your character be affected by the world. Let your character affect it in return. Do not arrive with a Hero Player who is too cool to care, too detached to hurt, too ironic to want, or too competent to fail in an entertaining fashion. The Sord Coast has no use for immaculate people. It eats them first, usually out of spite. You are allowed to be funny. You are allowed to be tragic. You are allowed to be strange. You are allowed to make the Session Guardian stare silently at the ceiling for several seconds while deciding whether to permit something deranged because it is, regrettably, thematically appropriate. This will happen often. I have made peace with that as well. Mostly. When the Session begins, you will not be expected to know everything. You should not know everything. Excessive certainty is unbecoming in a world where the stars have motives and the maps are probably lying. Ask questions. Make assumptions. Be wrong loudly enough that someone can correct you before the bridge collapses. Or don't. Maybe. The bridge deserved to get collapsed. There will be mysteries. Not every mystery is a puzzle however. Some mysteries are miseries. Some are just evasive rich lords. You are not required to solve my world with perfect efficiency. You are only required to make your attempts interesting. There will be moral choices. Safety, mercy. Truth, Peace. Saving someone who hates you, or punishing someone who deserves it. If you are looking for a world that will label the correct answer, you took a wrong turn back at Albuquerque. The Session will have jokes about odd topics. Crab divorce comes to mind. It will also have grief, silly names, consequences. It will have ugly little goblins who are unionizing asking you to kill the scab goblins. Ornate villains with tragic motives may fall for you. At least one scene will have everyone realizing the bit has gone too far and must be honored fully and wholly. This is the texture of my game. The joke is allowed to matter. The horror is allowed to be funny. The sincerity is allowed to be embarrassing. The embarrassment is allowed to become sacred. Bring a Player Profile that can survive that kind of weather. If you can not. Do not. The Sord Coast is waiting. Its Lairs are open. Its Lusii are hungry. Its churches are overfunded. Its stars are watching. Its seafood is not to be trusted. Prepare your Sylladex. Select your Strife Specibus. Review your Pre-Entry History for loose knives. Calibrate your expectations toward danger, irony, and deeply inadvisable tenderness. The Session will begin soon.
)(ttps://www.anglerpublications.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/fundays1.jpg T)(is is t)(e only #butt I will post! 38P #suggestive #Fis)(-pun!
-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-----------------------------E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E---------------E!!!!!!!!!!! 38D 38D 38D 38D
)(ttps://www.youtube.com/watc)(?v=M5AJa)(09J)(8
I needed t)(is today!!!! Learned so muc)( about w)(ales today and it was so sad!!! So refres)(ing to see suc)( beautiful creatures t)(riving!!!! <333333
i knoww a thing or twwo about seeing beautiful creatures wwhen you are around ugh i apologize i am being so forwward i havve had a lot of rum
-E)(e)(e)(e)(e!!!! No need to apologize sweets)(ark!!!! 38) I LOV-----E )(ow open you are wit)( your feelings!!!! Do you need me to come over and make sure you drink enoug)( water before you rest tolig)(t? 38)
oh that wwould be lovvely yes any excuse to havve you near my recup is a good one i admit seeing you call me swweet shark has me practically flopping in excitement
You are SO PR-ECIOUS!!!!!! 38D 38*
38*!!!
evveryone join me in my nightly affirmations cull all land dwwellers cull all land dwwellers cull all land dwwellers ohm cull all land dwwellers cull all land dwwellers cull all land dwwellers ohm cull all land dwwellers cull all land dwwellers cull all land dwwellers ohm cull all land dwwellers cull all land dwwellers cull all land dwwellers ohm
↗️REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE GENEPOOL.↗️
↘️i have been informed there is a secondary, lamer definition for the word cull.↘️ ↗️I WOULD LIKE TO RETRACT MY STATEMENT.↗️
vviolence culling does not constitute vviolence i am beforan
hahahaha oh my gosh that is too funny so silly imagine i am sticking out my tongue and putting my hands on my face laugh out loud
wwhy thank you kind sir your convvictions are charming and admirable noww that this olivve branch has been extended i hope wwe can be glorious and fast friends
W)(at?
you knoww cull all land dwwellers as in the beforan cull
O)(!!!!!!!! You want to protect all landwellers?? 38)
absolutely i do protect them care for them guide them nourish them
I t)(ink I am so )(appy I am tearing up rig)(t now. 38,)