The Good Shepherd 🪷
@coralConsternation
I may be the ruler of the Great Beforan -Empire, but I'm just like you! If you ever need to chat, my DMs are alwaves open, guppies. <3 ((pfp by foxxisms on tumblr))
Are YOU a psionically gifted warmblood w)(o's reefcently fallen on )(ard times? No s)(ame in it! We've ALL been t)(ere! It's time for you to stop being unemployed and start being FUN---EMPLOY--ED!!!! W)(y not conc)(sider signing up for )(elpsman duty? As an Imperial )(elpsman, you'll be joining a fast-paced, creatively-inclined environment tailored to suit YOUR unique needs w)(ile also making your -Empire PROUD! INT-ER-EST-ED? Don't be afraid to comment down below or send me a direct message to learn more! I just ADOR---E )(earing from you all!!! )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/5d5fa7df47b7.png
be nice! that includes to yourself.
D --> Thank you, My Empress D --> I live to be an E%emplar citizen of your empire D --> To serve as an e%ample of how we should be D --> You honor me by recognizing that I am doing D --> A good job
Many trolls don't know t)(is, but it is acs)(elly fuc)(siablood instsinkt to want to take care of anyt)(ing and everyt)(ing t)(at needs our kelp. All t)(at silly stuff about built in violent urges is PUR---E PROPAGANDA deepsigned to make us sound untrustwort)(y.
I'm not so s)(ore about t)(at. 38/ Are you scaring people??
W)(y would you t)(ink t)(at?
i dunno
Pffft. W)(at part of DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT do you not undersand, silly)(ead??
an...interezting ttake.
Good! 38)
"I prefer to think of it +s reminding them of their we+kness."
"= noting. that you consider me worried. and not curious and/or investigatory. however, the effort to find out will not stop, i need to form my opinions further, so do tell, it would clear my mind more than anything you could "offer". ="
Well T)(AT won't do atoll. We s)(ould be C-EL-EBRATING weaknesses, not making people feel bad crabout t)(em. )(mmm... maybe I s)(ould come observe your process sometime! I would love to sea you work.
"Tsk, you will do no such thing. W+tch closely +nd you m+y see my effects however."
)(e)(e)(e)( I was wondering )(ow long it would take until one of t)(em saw my post. Meena)(s are alwaves my biggest fans. <333 )(ey gill!! LOV-ELY to sea you too!
-E-E-E-E-EK! Apoologies for not being online lately. SOM-EON-E forgot )(er passwordfis)(. {r} )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/3e3160abf60c.png {r} #DerpMoments #SooooSilly #Goofmaxxing #OopsieDoodles
// GOATED ART blehhhhhhhhh }8P
"passwordfish" is great lmao.
W)(Y, T)(ANK YOU!!! I've spent a lot of time perc)(fecting my puns, so I am )(appy people appreciate it. 38)
O)(!!! Beac)(fore I forget, I did )(ave a R-EAL post to make for #Fis)(ingFriday, )(e)(e)(. Not really s)(ore w)(at t)(is t)(ing is, but I snagged it from t)(e bottom of t)(e lake. Isn't it just T)(-E CUT-EST!!!! And a little familiar... (( original karkat labubu by u/Beelzeboba on reddit, edited by me lol )) )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/90f48f6cf352.png
FIRST OFF, THANKS, I HATE IT. SECOND, THERE IS NO CONCEIVABLE *WAY* YOU WILL CATCH *ANYTHING* GOOD WITH THIS AS YOUR BAIT. IF YOU AREN'T KEEN ON DREGING UP AN INCHOATE RAGING TIME BITCH OR YET ANOTHER RUSTBLOOD WHOSE HABITUAL MANNER OF GREETING INVOLVES SHOVING HAIRPINS THROUGH YOUR GANDERBULBS, I SUGGEST YOU CATCH AND RELEASE.
You )(ave SUC)( a way wit)( words, Mr. T)(e C)(alkbox! I'm rat)(er impressed by your mastery of evocative language, especially for a troll like you!! Keep up t)(e good work! )(owever, t)(ere's no way I can just toss it back in t)(e water!! Its miscevic)(eous little grin and pitifully nubby )(orns are far too c)(arming to ignore. I just want to SQU-E-EZ-E IT until it pops!
-E)(-E)(-E)(, you're adorabubble. #Fis)(ingFriday
\\__They_have_some_dedication_to_the_hate__\\
DISGUSTING.
Your conc)(cern is appreciated, but it's okay, dear!! It's all in good fun. Isn't t)(at rig)(t? @orp)(anerDualscar
#Fis)(ingFriday
I,it is that time of the week, isn't it..? I should get on that........
@orp)(anerDualscar Ooo)(, a R-EC)(ITT t)(is time? )(ow bold! I wonder w)(at I )(ave to do to get you to MANTA RAY UP and say )(i? Does tagging it #Fis)(ingFriday )(elp? )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/8a0cc29335ad.png
Perhaps they are iintiimiidated by the sheer warmth of your presence? IIt iis a wonder your spectacular seadwellera countenance does not dry out!!
Could be!!! W)(at do YOU say, Dolp)(iner? Are you too FINTIMIDAT-ED by my presence? I )(ope not. I promise I don't bite unless you want me to. @orp)(anerDualscar
Aww, p)(ooey, you didn't rec)(itt t)(is one. Is t)(at a yes? 38) @orp)(anerDualscar
T)(at's better!!! Good buoy! @orp)(anerDualscar
)(appy #Fis)(ingFriday to you too, Gameward!!! Or is it Orp)(aner again? You Amporas are so silly. 38P @orp)(anerDualscar )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/d2b41f00a99b.png
II was told II should post thiis to sociial mediia!! Somethiing II have now, and so can fiinally do iinstead of others haviing to use my liikeness on my behalf, wonderful!! And for such an iimportant message too. Seek new opportuniitiies and new ways to help the GR-EAT-ER GOOD!! Apply today, anywhere!!
「TWINK.」
II'm glad you're 'twiinkiing' about joiiniing up miiss burgundy!! You'll get those letters iin no tiime.
Oh no!! There's no need for such thoughts!! -Empress forbiid. Liiterally!! Siimply siign on the form liittle lady. Though someone of your caste ought to be speakiing to management staff, not a humble socket plug liike me!!
K-E-EP UP T)(-E GOOD WORK!!! Just don't spend TOO muc)( time on C)(ittr. 38)
Of course my -Empress!! Most of my posts are iin fact queued ahead of tiime!! Miinor repliies are handled on my two mandatory fiive miinute breaks!!
I sea we're talking about clones tonig)(t! LOBST-ERVIOUSLY it goes wit)(out saying, but my clones and I would be best friends! W)(o would G-ET me betta t)(an me, rig)(t? 38D
-kzzzt- L°BST-£RVI°USLY! 38D -kzzzzt-
it wouldnt last.
[i]~[like]~[to]~[think]~[i]~[would]~[get]~[along]~[with]~[my]~[clone!]~[also]~[hello]~[ma'am!]~[(✿◡‿◡)]
More the merrier~
Are YOU a psionically gifted warmblood w)(o's reefcently fallen on )(ard times? No s)(ame in it! We've ALL been t)(ere! It's time for you to stop being unemployed and start being FUN---EMPLOY--ED!!!! W)(y not conc)(sider signing up for )(elpsman duty? As an Imperial )(elpsman, you'll be joining a fast-paced, creatively-inclined environment tailored to suit YOUR unique needs w)(ile also making your -Empire PROUD! INT-ER-EST-ED? Don't be afraid to comment down below or send me a direct message to learn more! I just ADOR---E )(earing from you all!!! )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/5d5fa7df47b7.png
>PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK TELL ME I GET TO BLOW MY LOAD ON THE JOB SIGN ME THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW AND DRAIN ME OF ALL I HAVE
T)(ank you, my most loyal )(elpsman! I'm so glad I can ALWAV-ES count on you for your kind words of support!
Ɏ look baabe the only thing worse thaan being culled would be bein employed Ɏ
Gos)(, it just breaks my bloodpumper to t)(ink of all your )(elping potential going to waste... Per)(aps I'LL )(ave to oversea your assignment perc)(sonally to make sure your talents are being put to good use. I'll be keeping a V-ERY CLOS-E -EY-E ON YOU, Sillence!
ALLWAV-ES!! Though thiis concern iis beneath you please accept my personal apology for collapsiing on the job two days priior!! II accept full responsiibiiliity.
...S)(ore!
Apology accepted!!! Just try not to let it )(appen again, okay? -Every second you spend unconscious is anot)(er second t)(at t)(e power grid underperforms!
Don't II know iit!! Here's hopiing your recruiitiing efforts bear fruiit. Thiis has been a fantastiic usage of my fiive miinute break. Back to work!!
38/
੯•໒꒱ what's wrong, my empress ??
NOT)(ING. I am just going to )(ave to )(ave a polite little talk wit)( someone I T)(OUG)(T I could trust.
੯•໒꒱ oh dear, I hope it goes smoothly !!
Welcome back~
Wow, t)(is place is getting more and more Beforan by t)(e nig)(t! Your -Empress is SO )(APPY to sea you all!!! <3
Just like t)(at!!! You're doing so well!
yeah and were well ii wouldnt 2ay happy but iit2 niice cu2 youve got that you know ii mean fuck you know what ii mean liike you really got iit compared two not that your alterniian 2elf 2he2 great two you know but liike
actually your alterniian counterpart would be the conde2ce not my fef 2o yeah you are ju2t 2traiight up b etter iin every way iincludiing a better a22
GLUBSWOON, awww! You're too sweet! I could just eat you up!!! <3
Keep being adorabubble like t)(is and you mig)(t just get your c)(ance, cutiefins. 3;)
xx_IF_WERE_ALL_FRIENDZ_IF_WE_R_ALL_G00D_T0_EACH_0THER_IF_WE_D0NT_THINK_AB0UT_IT_IF_WE_D0NT_W0RRY_AB0UT_IT_THEN_H0W_C0ULD_ANYTHING_BAD_EVER_HAPPEN_H0W_C0ULD_WE_EVER_BE_SAD_0R_STRESSED_0R_W0RRIED_0R_SCARED_THIS_IS_H0W_WE_FIX_IT_ALL_THIS_IS_H0W_WE_STAY_HAPPEH_xx
੯•໒꒱ YOU FIGURED IT OUT....THIS IS GOSPEL
T)(is #Fis)(ingFriday, you can CATC)( me in a brand new ensemble courtesy of @containedArmageddons. T)(anks, guppy! I R-E-ELly love my new )(OOK!! )(ere's )(oping I snag somet)(ing good at t)(e end of my ROD tonig)(t!! #Fis)(ingPuns #GetIt )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/8dbf87da3a70.png
hot damn. yknowv, miss empress, i alvways had myself a little crush. used to listen in on you and lamescar getting it on. fueled my spank bank for perigees before i got my hands on my first stag mags. those vwere the golden days. miss those playdates, man. they vwere something else.
You don't know...? O)( my. )(ave you been busy wit)( duties? 38(
I t)(ink maybe you need to learn t)(e diffcurrents between inside t)(oug)(ts and outside t)(oug)(ts! Not everyfin needs to be s)(ared!
Not t)(at t)(at is any of YOUR business, but yes.
I understand completely! 38( It is so )(ard )(aving to bear t)(e weig)(t of t)(e crown. I )(ope you can find some reprieve.
nah, i think you needed to hear this. vwanted to hear it, evwen. lets face it, nowv that ivwe molted into a musclebound adonis in a svweet leather jacket, theres no reason for you to deny vwhats alvways been in your pumper, mother grub.
O)(? I wasn't aware you were ALSO AN -EMPR-ESS. Is t)(at w)(at you mean by understanding? 38)
Is that a real aquarium piece in the shoes??
you look like a soccer mom's idea of a bratz doll. its like you were caug)(t candid fis)(in in t)(e sc)(ool lake after t)(e pta meetin. eart)( 2002 wants a fuckin word wit)( you, britney (( i love t)(e design! <3 ))
)(e)(e! Cute! You mig)(t want to repeat some affirmations for yourself since you seem to be coming from a place of insecurity in your pus)(er, Feferi! Surely you did not forget t)(e )(ards)(ips an )(eiress )(as to endure, no? W)(ere is your empat)(y and kindness? 38?
"If yoU gaze long enoUgh into the abyss. The abyss gazes back at yoU." A phrase that might soUnd very foreboding at first! BUt. The reality is. The abyss is fUll of friends! DUmbo octopi! Tripod fish! CUsk eels! Sea pigs! Basket stars! NUmeroUs mollUsks and crUstaceans! So many animals make their home in the abyssopelagic zone and beyond. It is a sUrprisingly lively place!・・・𝛾
Hm! I think so too! It woUld be fUn to visit. If troll bodies were capable of withstanding sUch intense pressUres. BUt! That is the domain of the deepdweller. UnfortUnately!・・・𝛾
Another fine example of your 8enevolence and kindness your majesty! In accordance with your decree, we will 8e offering, for free, a castration clinic at the hospital! #nsfw #pailingseason
T)(is pailing season, if you findeed are on a version of Beforus experiencing pailing season rig)(t now, I would also like to remind you t)(at culled trolls are NOT R-EQUIR-ED, and in some cases W)(OLLY IN---ELIGIBL---E for pail contributions! You poor t)(ings )(ave so muc)( trouble in your lives as it is, we wouldn't want you to )(urt yourselves attempting to fornicate!!! If YOU are a troll current-ly undergoing culling, w)(y not kick back and reelax for a w)(ile? T)(e rest of us can take on t)(e difficult task of adding to t)(e gene pool finstead! <3 #NSFW #PailingSeason
I've alwaves appreciated t)(e findomitable lowblood spirit! But asexual means you're uninterested anyway, yes? Instead of causing yours)(ellf undue anxiety at t)(e scary prospect of needing to fill a pail, you s)(ould find more fun ways of occupying your time!
There is no anxiety you fllatfinned witch. Im gonna do it WHILE performing a stunt.
I am aware. I am simply ensuring all 6ases are c9vered. I'm currently drafting a l9nger-f9rm essay 9n the matters raised 6y this p9st, 6ut t9 give a 6rief rund9wn: Firstly, the entire c9ncept 9f #culling is 9ppressive and stifling, and w9rks t9 er9de any s9rt 9f aut9n9my 9r capacity f9r independence - and c9nsidering this pred9minantly affects warm6l99ds and th9se 9therwise c9nsidered 'incapa6le' 9f caring f9r themselves, it results in an entire s9cial class 6arred fr9m participating in s9ciety with the same freed9ms as cullers. It r96s them 9f the chance t9 realize their 9wn dreams and am6iti9ns, and ensures the structures 9f #9ppressi9n remain intact when their v9ices can simply 6e sh99shed away. Sec9ndly, that th9se culled are at 6est disc9uraged and at w9rst c9mpletely 6arred fr9m c9ntri6uting t9 the genetic slurry (#nsfw #repr9ducti9n #pailing) ensures that their genes 6ec9me under-represented in the p99l, and thus inevita6ly results in c9ld6l99ds having infinitely m9re d9minance 9ver it. The insinuati9n 9f c9urse is that this is ideal, that warm6l99ds and th9se less-a6led have genes that are in s9me way less desira6le than that 9f the c9ld6l99ds, which I sh9uld n9t have t9 tell y9u is a gr9ss and insensitive stance t9 take 9n the matter. T9 cullers, an 9ff-spectrum individual like myself is little m9re than an undesira6le m*tant t9 6e made d9cile and unparticipat9ry in 9ur s9ciety as a wh9le. I, myself, ch99se a celi6ate lifestyle; whether 9r n9t I am 'all9wed' t9 pail d9es n9t materially affect me. H9wever, I (and th9se such as I) sh9uld have the freed9m t9 ch99se f9r 9urselves. As the empress, 6ef9rus l99ks t9 y9u f9r guidance. As the empress, y9u sh9uld take care n9t t9 end9rse and adv9cate f9r these t9xic systems. I impl9re y9u t9 d9 6etter.
T)(at's dangerous. 38( It makes your S)(ep)(erd sad to )(ear t)(e risks you are putting yours)(ellf t)(roug)(! You said previously you were dead, yes? Maybe I need to put out anotter call for a volunteer culler in t)(e afterlife!
)(ow well-written and articullate of you! I'm so proud of )(ow well you are able to put toget)(er an argument!!!
Does your -Empress often make you feel disrespected? T)(at wasn't my intent! 38( Your feedback is just as valuabubble to me as anyone else's!
Interesting.
...I endeav9ur t9 ensure my w9rds are as effective as p9ssi6le. H9wever, praise al9ne d9es n9t fix systemic issues.
I woulld lliterally rather be culled Allternian stylle
You are everyt)(ing I )(ad )(oped to be as a ruler! T)(ank you for taking care of your lovely nation!