The Good Shepherd ๐ชท
@coralConsternation
I may be the ruler of the Great Beforan -Empire, but I'm just like you! If you ever need to chat, my DMs are alwaves open, guppies. <3 ((pfp by foxxisms on tumblr))
O)(!!! Beac)(fore I forget, I did )(ave a R-EAL post to make for #Fis)(ingFriday, )(e)(e)(. Not really s)(ore w)(at t)(is t)(ing is, but I snagged it from t)(e bottom of t)(e lake. Isn't it just T)(-E CUT-EST!!!! And a little familiar... (( original karkat labubu by u/Beelzeboba on reddit, edited by me lol )) )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/90f48f6cf352.png
FIRST OFF, THANKS, I HATE IT. SECOND, THERE IS NO CONCEIVABLE *WAY* YOU WILL CATCH *ANYTHING* GOOD WITH THIS AS YOUR BAIT. IF YOU AREN'T KEEN ON DREGING UP AN INCHOATE RAGING TIME BITCH OR YET ANOTHER RUSTBLOOD WHOSE HABITUAL MANNER OF GREETING INVOLVES SHOVING HAIRPINS THROUGH YOUR GANDERBULBS, I SUGGEST YOU CATCH AND RELEASE.
You )(ave SUC)( a way wit)( words, Mr. T)(e C)(alkbox! I'm rat)(er impressed by your mastery of evocative language, especially for a troll like you!! Keep up t)(e good work! )(owever, t)(ere's no way I can just toss it back in t)(e water!! Its miscevic)(eous little grin and pitifully nubby )(orns are far too c)(arming to ignore. I just want to SQU-E-EZ-E IT until it pops!
II probably should not be gettiing iinvolved iin such thiings. II blame my diistress at so much free tiime hangiing over me!!
W-----ELL, if you need a way to occupy your time over t)(e weekend, I mig)(t )(ave a special assignment JUST for you! You s)(ould be reefwarded for your dedication, not punis)(ed!
@orp)(anerDualscar Ooo)(, a R-EC)(ITT t)(is time? )(ow bold! I wonder w)(at I )(ave to do to get you to MANTA RAY UP and say )(i? Does tagging it #Fis)(ingFriday )(elp? )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/8a0cc29335ad.png
Perhaps they are iintiimiidated by the sheer warmth of your presence? IIt iis a wonder your spectacular seadwellera countenance does not dry out!!
Could be!!! W)(at do YOU say, Dolp)(iner? Are you too FINTIMIDAT-ED by my presence? I )(ope not. I promise I don't bite unless you want me to. @orp)(anerDualscar
Aww, p)(ooey, you didn't rec)(itt t)(is one. Is t)(at a yes? 38) @orp)(anerDualscar
T)(at's better!!! Good buoy! @orp)(anerDualscar
why the actual fuck am ii 2eeiing helm2man propaganda on my tiimeliine. fuck that 2hiit ii am not falliing for that 2hiit no matter who a2k2. iit2 not a noble job tiitle iit2 2lavery. liike actual liiteral fuckiing 2lavery. dont try two dre22 iit up liike a job iit2 not a job. fuck job2. dont make me get a job.
It's so dis)(eartening to sea young psionics fall victim to suc)( a barbaric finstitution. I )(ope one day Alternia can be LIB-ERAT-ED... 38(((
youre no better po2tiing about help2man 2hiit iit2 the 2ame exact crap ff
W)(at do you mean? My )(elpsmen aren't SLAV---ES. T)(at's ridicullous! T)(ey are free to leave t)(eir posts w)(enever t)(ey want as long as t)(ey've completed all of t)(eir duties!
-E)(-E)(-E)(, you're adorabubble. #Fis)(ingFriday
\\__They_have_some_dedication_to_the_hate__\\
Your conc)(cern is appreciated, but it's okay, dear!! It's all in good fun. Isn't t)(at rig)(t? @orp)(anerDualscar
II was told II should post thiis to sociial mediia!! Somethiing II have now, and so can fiinally do iinstead of others haviing to use my liikeness on my behalf, wonderful!! And for such an iimportant message too. Seek new opportuniitiies and new ways to help the GR-EAT-ER GOOD!! Apply today, anywhere!!
K-E-EP UP T)(-E GOOD WORK!!! Just don't spend TOO muc)( time on C)(ittr. 38)
IF THE MโงUNTAIN LโงSES ANโงTHER RโงUND โงF โงVER WATCH WE ARE ALL BEING TAKEN AWAY
I'm rooting for you! Make your -Empress proud!!!
dear fuckiing 2ufferer, my pan hurt2.
Aww, you poor t)(ing! If only someone were t)(ere to kiss it betta! 38(
It shoulld go without saying, but... #IHaveABomb
Good to know!
Are YOU a psionically gifted warmblood w)(o's reefcently fallen on )(ard times? No s)(ame in it! We've ALL been t)(ere! It's time for you to stop being unemployed and start being FUN---EMPLOY--ED!!!! W)(y not conc)(sider signing up for )(elpsman duty? As an Imperial )(elpsman, you'll be joining a fast-paced, creatively-inclined environment tailored to suit YOUR unique needs w)(ile also making your -Empire PROUD! INT-ER-EST-ED? Don't be afraid to comment down below or send me a direct message to learn more! I just ADOR---E )(earing from you all!!! )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/5d5fa7df47b7.png
A phenomenal opportuniity you're giiviing to all my -Empress!! II hope they make wiise deciisiions liike you would!!
If you want to become a Beforan citizen, it's not too late!!! We grant asylum to any Alternian looking for a betta planet to call )(ome. 38)
Don't be silly, you silly guppy!!! Your recruiting offis)(ers are responsibubble for assigning you to a power station. You don't )(ave to worry your cute little )(orns about a t)(ing!
Oh, but I just coulld not bear the thought of... hellping... the absollute most peoplle possiblle. The thought of squandering my gifts tortures my very soull, Empress. Surelly a compassionate Spirit such as yoursellf can understand.
>PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK TELL ME I GET TO BLOW MY LOAD ON THE JOB SIGN ME THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW AND DRAIN ME OF ALL I HAVE
T)(ank you, my most loyal )(elpsman! I'm so glad I can ALWAV-ES count on you for your kind words of support!
Gos)(, it just breaks my bloodpumper to t)(ink of all your )(elping potential going to waste... Per)(aps I'LL )(ave to oversea your assignment perc)(sonally to make sure your talents are being put to good use. I'll be keeping a V-ERY CLOS-E -EY-E ON YOU, Sillence!
ALLWAV-ES!! Though thiis concern iis beneath you please accept my personal apology for collapsiing on the job two days priior!! II accept full responsiibiiliity.
...S)(ore!
Apology accepted!!! Just try not to let it )(appen again, okay? -Every second you spend unconscious is anot)(er second t)(at t)(e power grid underperforms!
Wow, t)(is place is getting more and more Beforan by t)(e nig)(t! Your -Empress is SO )(APPY to sea you all!!! <3
yeah and were well ii wouldnt 2ay happy but iit2 niice cu2 youve got that you know ii mean fuck you know what ii mean liike you really got iit compared two not that your alterniian 2elf 2he2 great two you know but liike
actually your alterniian counterpart would be the conde2ce not my fef 2o yeah you are ju2t 2traiight up b etter iin every way iincludiing a better a22
GLUBSWOON, awww! You're too sweet! I could just eat you up!!! <3
Keep being adorabubble like t)(is and you mig)(t just get your c)(ance, cutiefins. 3;)