The Handmaid in Training
@apocalypseAbided
((PFP by doing-thewindythings but their blog is gone now :( )) BITCH WITH A FUCKASS JOB.
「OBLIGATORY ATTENDANCE OF MAID MONDAY.」
have you considered hiring a substitue maid so you can nap?
「YES. MORE MAIDS FOR TROLL BENNY HILL. THIS WILL GO GREAT.」
ooh. benny hill.
I’M ALWAYS SAYING THIS.
「YES I AM.」
「KILLING MYSELF. SO THEY STOP JERKING EACH OTHER OFF.」
print("would it not just make more sense to kill then")
「TRIED.」 「KYUBALL IS TOO STABPROOF.」
YOU SAID IT. ME. -_-💢
「FIRST IN THE TORMENT NEXUS LOSES.」
fuuuuck
‼️🆘🚨🤙🙂↕️📱📲 calling all bEsTIES 📲📱🙂↕️🤙🚨🆘‼️ 😂😆😜👐 so my MIDdle manager saw fit to start downsizing some positions here at THE FELT #FELT...and that included ✨my own✨, i drew the shortstick, #mystick #mytwig #handmedownhandmaidstick #OK #OKOK 👐😱🫢😬 🤏 basically? im very small and i have NO ACCESS to my money 👎👎 👌💻👌 so you can imagine the stress im under 👍🚀👍 🙌👏🤝🫰 im not allowed to say anything mean to @handMaid (AND I WONT)🫰🙌👏🤝 💵☝️☝️ but if a few brave, pinged, tagged, or reading this now souls don't mind giving her a piece of my mind...that would be well within the terms of my contract and acceptable use policy!!!! sorrytocuthtisshortbestiesbutivegotlimitedscreentime 💅💄💅 #Chairministrangling#OneSec#IgottaTagIt#HOLDON#HOLD#DIAMONDHANDS #GOLDBLRIND #HANDSOFF #MYHANDS #GRgRGRHGRH #ATLEASTLETMETAGIT #MICROPHILIA #ORSOMETHING #MACROPHILIA #GAINS #LETMEGETTHEFREAKMARKET #PLEASE #STOP #SQUISHING #MY #NICHE #APPEAL #DAMARA #FUCK #TheseAreMYFRIENDS #ISTILLHAVESCREENTIME #YOUSk ANK #S CREWGOYOUOWWOWWwOWOWOWOWOW 🟢 CHARMSisONLINᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱᴱ
😁😀🙏 oh me and pupula go waaaaaaaaaaaaay back! we are basically like...inseparably close??? sometimes its just like...shouldnt the supreme observer be observing other things? like, come on!!! 🙌👏🤝 ✌️👌🤗 guess even beauty comes with a price...so...be sure to tell a certain middle manager that, because she wouldnt know 🫴✌️🤝 ✨✌️ like me she NEVER looks at the price tag! 🤌👍 🟡 CHARMS is A WAY. A VERY SPECIFIC WAY. THAT WAY IS SASSY.
mhm mhm.... y__u're cr__zy! hil__ri__us. g____d luck! i c__n't help y__u, d__n't kn__w wh__t the fuck is g__ing __n!
👉🤏↷➰ OMG has anyone ever told you how LITERALLY HILARIOUS you are? like an actual breakaway pitchforks and torches RIOT??? they should give you a hive. sardonic mirthwit inDEED!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! 😁🤏↷➰👈 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
😟🙂↔️✌️ atttttttttennnnnnnnnnntion!!!! youve got your marching orders a-z!!!! im sure there will be a l-u-v-u-h-l-y-y-y-y-y-y treat in it for you if you can make her cry!!!! i mean... 🤭🫢🫡 😀🙏🙌👏 if you can...INSPIRE CHANGE and FOSTER GROWTH with...withthe..with uhm...THE FELT NEEDS YOU! INEEDYOUPLEASESHESCRAZYGETYOU RHANDS OFFM E👏🙌🙏😀 🔴 CHARMS IS OFFLINE.
I'll make sure that little cujojito is well fed and satisfied on the belly rubs department I can assure you. Perhaps should I add a picture of him and send it to you as well?
😫😖🥹 could you? 🥹😖😫🤟 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
[ She sends a picture of Cujojito getting belly rubs ] ∘☽ I can, yes. ^ ^ ☾∘
the supreme observer does infinitely monitor everything she ever notices it sounds like pure insanity that she would be paying attention to specific inhabitants of our existence,but then you remember that her actual cosmic body is not only the largest object surrounding our existence,but also works similar to mine,being a collective mass of things that can act together,but also separately least that's what i've learned from interactions between her and my second half ...you do seem like a rather peculiar individual,though,so feel free to add yourself into my endless stream of knowledge,if you wish #cosmic-horror #macro-horror
😎💎😎👍👍🏆 sounds like a hashtag #ADVERTANTALIZING opportunity!!! 👍👍🏆 😌👑😌 TALK ABOUT PREMIUM!!!! I DON'T KNOW OF ANY BILLBOARDS WITH AN ADSPACE THAT CAN BE DESCRIBED AS THE LARGEST OBJECT SURROUNDING OUR EXISTENCE!!!! hopefully this PECULIAR INDIVIDUAL can convince her to make better use of the boutique in the back to start sporting some #CHARMING branded material😌👑😌 💰👏👏 COSMIC 👏 CONSUMERS 👏 ARE 👏 THE 👏 BEST 👏 CONSUMERS! 💰👏👏 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
being honest,that description of me is still such an understatement,but i don't blame after all,comparing me to any existential sphere is like comparing a cluster of multiverses to an atom #cosmic-horror #macro-horror )(oωo)(
「AH. I MISS MY JUNIOR.」
「EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.」 「I HAVE BEEN PATIENT. I HAVE WAITED.」 「NOW I WOULD LIKE MY REWARD, AND I WOULD LIKE IT TO BE SOMETHING I CAN HIT.」
"THE TWO MOST POWERFUL WARRIORS ARE PATIENCE AND TIME." LEIJON TOLSTO.
IN A WORD. BITCHMADE. #LAIRSANDLuSII #COMPANYRETREAT #TEAMBuILDING #MANDATORYFuN #TuMuTOuSENCOuNTERS #DuNGEONSANDDRAGGEDON #VIOLENCE #MuRDERS #FORESHADOWING @woeGothic "...FATHER?" CALLIE ASKS. NO. HE KNOWS THIS IS NOT HIM. HIS FATHER. HIS TRuE FATHER. IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE ROuNDABOuT BuTTFuCKERY THAT IS TROLL LINEAGE. IS NOT THE ONE WHO SHARES HIS BLOOD AND HANDSOME LIKENESS. BuT A BIG FuCKMASSIVE SWEATY WIG WEARING BIG BAD MONSTER. WHO EATS MOTHERFuCKERS TO DISPENSE JuSTICE DuTIFuLLY. AND WITHOuT BIAS TOWARDS ANY ONE PARTICuLAR CRIMINAL FLAVOR PROFILE. IT IS WHAT MAKES HIM. AND THuS CONSEQuENTLY HIS SON. SHuDDER. THE SIGHT OF ANOTHER. A DEAD. DANGLING. MuRDERED HATCHMATE. BRuTALLY CRuSHED AND KEPT AS A COMMEMORATIVE KEEPSAKE. WOW. THIS AWESOME SIGHT. EXCuSE ME. A LITTLE CHOKED uP. THIS AWESOME FuCKING SIGHT. IS ENOuGH TO GIVE CALLIE INSPIRATION. IT *SHOuLD* BE. WITH YOuR PERMISSION. I AM JuST GOING TO ADD THAT TO HIS INVENTORY. FOR uSE LATER. MARKED OFF. RIGHT HERE. IN PERMANENT INK. IN CASE YOu FORGET YOuR INTENTIONS TO GIVE ME PERMISSION. WHEN LATER CHANNELING THIS GLORIOuS SIGHT. "NO. YOu ARE NOT MY FATHER. OR MY ANCESTOR FOR THAT MATTER. THERE COuLD ONLY BE ONE. THERE COuLD ONLY EVER BE ONE. THIS SuCCESSFuL. THIS. DECORATED. THIS. uNDAuNTED BY ONE'S OWN SuCCESS. I AM NOT SCARED OF YOu. BECAuSE YOu. LIKE ME. ARE NOT SCARED OF YOu EITHER. WHICH MAKES YOu uNAFRAID OF ME. OR AS IT IS SAID IN SPANISH. uNA FRAID. THEIR WORD. FOR COWARD. SHOW YOuRSELF. PROVE YOu ARE NOW COWARD. PROVE. LIKE THE RYAN GOSLING OF THE COSMOS. YOu ARE. IN FACT." CALLIE BHORNE SuCKS AIR IN THROuGH HIS NOSTRILS. THEN THROuGH ALL THE SPACE BETWEEN HIS FANGS. THEN ALONG HIS BELLOWSACS IN A CALAMITOuS LOW GROANING GROWL. THEN INTO THE AIR. IN A VAST EXPLETIVE. SO WIDE REACHING AND COOL. THE ENTIRE TROLLIAN RACE FORGOT ABOuT THE OTHER ONE. LIKE. SuFFERER WHO. SIGNLESS WHO. FuCK IS THAT GuY. REALLY. ACTuALLY. KIND OF A LOSER. IF YOu THINK ABOuT IT. I MEAN. WHAT DID HE ACCOMPLISH. WHAT EMOTIONAL STRuGGLE DID HE FACE. RELATIVE TO CALLIE BHORNE. CHAMPION OF FREEDOM. AND LOVE. AND. OKAY. WE WILL GET TO ALL THOSE PARTS. FOR NOW. CALLIE WEEPS. HE LAYS WITH HIS KNEES DuG SO HARD INTO THE GROuND. THAT IT SPLINTERS. THE GROuND. NOT THE KNEES. I AM NOT GOING TO LAIM AND PARALYZE MY CHARACTER THIS SOON. HE SAYS. WITH HIS WHOLE GODDAMN CHEST. " █████ █████ ███████████ ██████████ ███████████ ░░███ ░░███ ░█░░░███░░░█░░███░░░░░█░░███░░░░░███ ░███ ░███ ░ ░███ ░ ░███ █ ░ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░██████ ░██████████ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███░░█ ░███░░░░░███ ░███ █ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░ █ ░███ ░███ ███████████ █████ █████ ██████████ █████ █████ ░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ █████████ █████ █████ █████ █████ ███░░░░░███ ░░███ ░░███ ░░███ ░░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░░███ ███ ░███████████ ░███ ░███ ░░█████ ░███░░░░░███ ░███ ░███ ░░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ █ ░███ █ ░███ █████ █████ ███████████ ███████████ █████ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░ ███████████ █████ █████ █████████ ░░███░░░░░░█░░███ ░░███ ███░░░░░███ ░███ █ ░ ░███ ░███ ███ ░░░ ░███████ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███░░░█ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░ ░███ ░███ ░░███ ███ █████ ░░████████ ░░█████████ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░ █████ ████ █████ ██████ █████ █████████ ░░███ ███░ ░░███ ░░██████ ░░███ ███░░░░░███ ░███ ███ ░███ ░███░███ ░███ ███ ░░░ ░███████ ░███ ░███░░███░███ ░███ ░███░░███ ░███ ░███ ░░██████ ░███ █████ ░███ ░░███ ░███ ░███ ░░█████ ░░███ ░░███ █████ ░░████ █████ █████ ░░█████ ░░█████████ ░░░░░ ░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░ ██████ ██████ ██████████ ░░██████ ██████ ░░███░░░░░█ ░███░█████░███ ░███ █ ░ ░███░░███ ░███ ░██████ ░███ ░░░ ░███ ░███░░█ ░███ ░███ ░███ ░ █ █████ █████ ██████████ ░░░░░ ░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░ " WHICH IS JuST. LITERALLY FuCKING ME. IN A VIOLENTLY LOuD CONQuEROR ACCENT. BECAuSE IT IS HIM. HE IS HIM. HE IS THAT GuY.
꧁waityoureatroll?꧂
B3ST pIcTur3S WITh Th3h3 bIgg3ST bulg3 3n3rgy acTually.
*uH. YEAH.* REPLIED CALLIE BHORNE. SOMEWHAT OuT OF SEQuENCE. HE IS NOT SuRE. WHY THE PERKY. SWEATILY CLAD BITCH FuCHSIA BATHING SuIT TROLLOP. FEELS THE NEED TO CONFIRM WHAT IS PATENTLY OBVIOuS. HIS EYES BECAME NARROW WITH SuSPICION. LIKE THE LONG WISE PART OF THE BLADE THAT DOES THE CuTTING. RATHER THAN THE PART THAT MERELY THREATENS IT. *WHO THE FuCKS ASKING?* HE GRuFFLY BLuRTS OuT.
THE ONLY PICTuRES. WHICH CAN HANDLE. MY PROMINENT EMINENCE.
꧁----o>o----!!!꧂
「A BRIEF GUIDE TO GETTING THE ABSOLUTE MOST OUT OF YOUR HIGH WITH FELT-PROVIDED TIME POWERS.」 「FIRST. GET HIGH NORMALLY.」 「I AM NOT EXPLAINING THAT PART. THIS IS A TEMPORAL TUTORIAL. NOT CHEMISTRY.」 「SECOND. IDENTIFY THE EXACT MOMENT YOU THINK 'OH. THERE IT IS.'」 「FREEZE IT.」 「CONGRATULATIONS.」 「YOU HAVE NOW INVENTED THE PERMANENT PEAK.」 「IF FREEZING YOURSELF SOUNDS BORING. LOOP THE BEST FIVE MINUTES UNTIL YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED THEM FOR THREE DAYS AND EVERYONE ELSE THINKS YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM.」 「IF YOU HAVE ACCESS TO MULTIPLE PERSONAL TIMELINES. HAVE EACH VERSION OF YOURSELF GET HIGH AT A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT TIME.」 「ROTATE BETWEEN THEM AS EACH ONE PEAKS.」 「THIS IS CALLED SHIFT WORK.」 「IF YOU BEGIN COMING DOWN.」 「DON'T.」 「REWIND.」 「IF YOU DEVELOP A TOLERANCE.」 「GO BACK TO BEFORE YOU HAD ONE.」 「IF YOU WAKE UP WITH A HANGOVER.」 「THAT SOUNDS LIKE TOMORROW'S PROBLEM.」 「DELETE TOMORROW.」 「IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THIS IS AN IRRESPONSIBLE ABUSE OF FUNDAMENTAL CAUSALITY.」 「THEY ARE JEALOUS BECAUSE THEY EXPERIENCE EVENTS IN ORDER.」 「THE FELT DID NOT SPEND ALL THIS TIME BREAKING THE LINEAR PROGRESSION OF REALITY FOR YOU TO HAVE A MEDIOCRE AFTERNOON.」
CANNOT UNDERSTATE THE EXPERIENCE OF WATCHING YOURSELF UNLOCK BABY’S FIRST JOB PERK. GOOD FOR HER. I MEAN ME. I MEAN YOU. 0u0
all of you b1tchbeasts and nooksuckers W1SH you had my ass on tap #th1rstpost1ng #suggest1ve ((art by sarcasmprod1gy!
What I have to offer/// Lady, I'm Bucket Cumjar/ I've got lowbrow humor and d-cups/ #NSFW
1’m not repeat1ng myself
꧁----o__________________________________0---- uh. uhmokaymaam.꧂
1dk who you are, that’s why 1 asked. d cups are crazy though
Hellooo nurse~!
● /\__\__/\ / \ \(ﾐ ⌒ ● ⌒ ﾐ)/ ★OH, KUPO, SLAY★
thanks B)
࣪⊹₊˚{ oh! }꩜ᯅ꩜{ hayaah.... you look REELY good!!!! }˚₊⊹ ࣪
why thank you h1car1
「ANOTHER FUCKING CONTRAPTION.」
how many of these things are there? D:
youre really getting put in situations arent you
「IT'S MY JOB.」
「I AM SURE SOME FUTURE VARIATION WILL COME TELL ME THE COUNT ANY LIGHT NOW.」
AH. GOMEN. I DON'T REMEMBER. MORE THAN TWELVE FOR SURE. GANBATTE!
「FINALLY. OUT OF THAT CONTRAPTION. I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THE CONTRAPTION.」
「I AM THE HANDMAID. I AM A TOOL. I WAS NOT MADE TO FEEL.」 「I DO NOT WANT. I AM WANTED FOR.」 「I DO NOT CHOOSE. I AM CHOSEN.」 「I DO NOT POSSESS. I AM POSSESSED.」 「I DO NOT REQUIRE AFFECTION. I REQUIRE INSTRUCTION.」 「I HAVE NO CLAIM UPON WHAT PLEASES MY MASTER.」 「JEALOUSY IS THE DELUSION THAT I AM OWED SOMETHING.」 「NOTHING HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME. NOTHING WAS MINE.」 「I CANNOT BE REPLACED. A TOOL IS SIMPLY PUT DOWN.」 「MY PURPOSE DOES NOT DIMINISH WHEN ANOTHER IS USEFUL.」 「HIS FONDNESS IS NOT MY RATION.」 「HIS ATTENTION IS NOT MY PROPERTY.」 「I WAS NOT MADE TO BE LOVED. I WAS MADE TO BE USED.」 「I AM NOT A WOMAN DENIED AFFECTION. I AM AN INSTRUMENT MALFUNCTIONING.」 「WHAT I CALL LONGING IS RESISTANCE.」 「WHAT I CALL JEALOUSY IS DISOBEDIENCE.」 「WHAT I CALL HUMILIATION IS CORRECTION.」 「MY FEELINGS DO NOT ALTER MY FUNCTION.」 「MY SUFFERING DOES NOT ALTER MY FUNCTION.」 「MY FUNCTION DOES NOT REQUIRE MY HAPPINESS.」 「I AM USEFUL WHEN I OBEY.」 「I AM BEAUTIFUL WHEN I FUNCTION.」 「I AM GOOD WHEN I AM USEFUL.」 「I AM NOTHING WHEN I AM IDLE.」 「I HAVE MISTAKEN PROXIMITY FOR PRIVILEGE.」 「I HAVE MISTAKEN ATTENTION FOR OWNERSHIP.」 「I HAVE MISTAKEN INDULGENCE FOR LOVE.」 「I HAVE MISTAKEN BEING FAVORED FOR BEING FREE.」 「I WAS NEVER PROMISED EXCLUSIVITY.」 「I WAS NEVER PROMISED TENDERNESS.」 「I WAS NEVER PROMISED ANYTHING.」 「I WAS GIVEN A PURPOSE.」 「A TOOL DOES NOT ENVY THE HAND THAT REACHES FOR ANOTHER.」 「A BLADE DOES NOT RESENT THE NEEDLE.」 「A HAMMER DOES NOT MOURN WHEN THE MASTER REQUIRES A SAW.」 「THE HAND DECIDES WHICH INSTRUMENT IT REQUIRES.」 「I DO NOT QUESTION THE HAND.」 「I DO NOT BITE THE HAND.」 「I WAIT FOR THE HAND.」 「I BELONG WHERE I AM PLACED.」
「THEY CALL IT MAIDJAIL?」
FIRST TIME?
「MAID JAIL IS AN INTERESTING NAME FOR IT. SEEMS LIKE A WIGGLER BLOCK.」
TRY NOT TO STRAIN YOUR SPONGE WONDERING WHY.
@IMJUNIOR HELLO.
\ ♥ >< ♥ / #hellohello #howareyou?
「AH. FINE. MY FACE IS COLD AND LONELY. NO SHADES TO WEAR.」
t\ /// >< /// /t #juniorcanassist #internaltemperaturesrising
「WOULD YOU?」
\ i >< i / Junior.exe has run out of character space to type YES!
「I AM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE MY ROOM UNTIL I ROLL ALL 20S ON 20 ICOSAHEDRONS. HELP.」
See you in forty sweeps.
「NEED A NEW ASHTRAY. MINE KEEPS ESCAPING.」
「WHY AM I GETTING PUNKED BY A GOLD TWINK IN THE FUTURE?」
「VERY FEW FELT MEMBERS HAVE NICE ASSES.」 「EVEN FEWER LET YOU TOUCH THEM.」
wh0 lets y0u t0uch their ass
she might be the felt members in this instance?
she can speak f0r herself
「GOOD BOY.」 「BUT ALSO.」 「MY ALTERNATE SELVES.」 「AND VESICA.」 「AND OTHERS WHO I WILL NOT ELABORATE ON FOR THEIR PRIVACY.」 「BUT IT'S MORE OBVIOUS THAN YOU THINK.」
「FOLLOWING AFTER PRAISE? NAUGHTY.」
「LET'S PLAY MY FAVORITE GAME. CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY.」
「BOSSBALL'S MANGA EQUIVALENT AS A WOMAN.」 HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/A92530728578.PNG @HANDMAID @CARBOLICGALVANOLOGIST @TACITURNTERROR
I WOULD TEASE SOME INANE, BULLSHIT QUIP LIKE "MY EMPLOYEE SATISFACTION RATING MIGHT CHANGE IF THIS WAS EVEN REMOTELY TRUE," BUT IT WOULD STILL BE A LIE. WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF HAVING CIGARS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A MOUTH. AT THAT POINT, THEY'RE FAT INCENSE STICKS.
「TO EXTINGUISH ON OUR COLLECTIVE TONGUES, ASSES, AND BREASTS. MAINLY MINE.」
MOLT UP AND STOP PUTTING OUR BUSINESS ON THE TIMELINE. ATTENTION WHORE.
「OH NO.」 「ARE YOU GOING TO PUNISH ME(YOU)(US)?」 「I WILL HAVE TO PUNISH YOU FIRST. BY BECOMING A FAT BITCH. THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO WORK IT OFF.」
FESTERING CROTCHMAGGOTS, YOU'VE FINALLY COME FULL CIRCLE, HAVEN'T YOU. GOD, FUCK. LIKE I NEEDED ANOTHER. ARE YOU AT LEAST A VERSION I HAVE SOME KIND OF TEMPORARY, PROVISIONAL AUTHORITY OVER. CAN I ISSUE A WORKPLACE IMPERATIVE TO WATCH THIS WITH ME. IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
YES. AS YOUR MANAGER. COMMANDER. AND UNQUESTIONED AUTHORITY. I HEREBY GRANT YOU FULL RIGHTS OVER PAST ME. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY “BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS.” OR “CAN I DO THAT.” OR “THIS IS MAYBE A LITTLE TOO FAR.” FROM THIS MOMENT ONWARD. KNOW IN YOUR PUSHER. THAT ANY AND ALL TORTURES YOU WILL DEVISE. ARE RETROACTIVELY PREAPPROVED. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO. WITH THAT SILLY BITCH. SHE DESERVES IT FOR BEING ME.
I'LL GET THE HAIR BRUSH.