Calliope Lalonde
@uxorialUmbra
the only (known) cherUb on earth c! happily married, bUt open to a little flirt here and there. proUd mother.
does it count as polygamy if they're all the same woman? heehee! ^u^ #morewives
It's always men in my life, giving me trouble
its alwways men
happy lesbian day, to my wife and oUr girlfriend! 🌈
ahahahahahaaha omfg this is golden
THIS IS HIDEOUS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR “MOTHER”? LOVE IS NOT A CHERUBIC EMOTION. IT’S BARELY A REAL EMOTION AT ALL, IT’S THE PLAYTHING OF LIARS AND BETRAYERS.
it's a shame yoU feel that way, pa. :U they make me happy! i've been friends with them and loved them since i was a child, and the life i've bUilt is a fUlfilling one. ^u^
YOU’RE A FUCKING FOOL. IT’S GOING TO END IN PAIN, BETRAYAL, AND DEATH. ONE WAY. OR THE OTHER. AND IT WILL HURT.
jokes on U my moms r immortal
i don't think the inevitable end of something makes it worthless. and i know yoU agree, or yoU'd never have bothered to bUild an empire, woUld yoU?
NO, I BUILT IT SO THAT ALL FILTH IS EITHER CLEANSED OR SUBJUGATED. AND THEY *NEVER* HAVE THE CHANCE TO THREATEN ME AND MY LIFE. IT WILL *NEVER* END.
so yoU take no risks? plan no great conqUests? yoU simply rest on yoUr laUrels, never to find another mate?
OF COURSE I TAKE RISKS, BUT ALL IN THE NAME OF ENSURING MY ETERNAL SECURITY. MAKING SURE EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS IS EITHER OF USE TO ME, AND *BENEATH* ME, OR SO MUCH SPACE DUST. IF YOU WERE SMART, YOU’D DO THE SAME.
I think some of you would benefit tremendously from becoming acquainted with the concept of kayfabe. Whenever someone is kidnapped, trapped in a SGRUB session, stranded somewhere hostile, dying spectacularly, et cetera, there is inevitably someone in the replies going, "Oh, but you had time to Chit about it?" As though the natural conclusion is that the character, presently dangling upside-down over a vat of acid, has taken out their phone, carefully unlocked it, opened Chittr, composed three paragraphs and selected an appropriate reaction image. This is not necessarily what is occurring. Chittr is the medium through which the narrative has elected to present itself. The post exists because we, the audience, require some means of observing the event. Sometimes the posting itself is diegetic. Sometimes it is only partially diegetic. Sometimes you are effectively reading a stage direction wearing the skin of a social media post. You are foolish to assume this website that stretches across an infinite amount of timelines, universes, and means of interaction is nothing short of a mythical artifact, perhaps even a Juju. Professional wrestling does not cease being a wrestling match because the camera happens to be perfectly positioned to capture a conversation backstage. Nobody turns toward the cameraman and asks why he is being permitted to stand three feet away while two men conspire to commit aggravated assault. You accept the camera because the camera is how the story reaches you. The same courtesy should probably be extended to someone live-Chitting their kidnapping. They are not necessarily exposing their location to their captor, compromising the integrity of their SGRUB session, or somehow finding excellent cellular reception inside the narrative equivalent of Hell. You are simply being permitted to see what is happening because this is the proscenium we have chosen. Please respect the kayfabe. It is doing a remarkable amount of structural labor for you.
Perhaps it is the syntactical nuance that is lost on you. Cronus is not known for saying, "I think some of you would benefit tremendously from becoming acquainted with the concept of kayfabe. Whenever someone is kidnapped, trapped in a SGRUB session, stranded somewhere hostile, dying spectacularly, et cetera, there is inevitably someone in the replies going, "Oh, but you had time to Chit about it?" As though the natural conclusion is that the character, presently dangling upside-down over a vat of acid, has taken out their phone, carefully unlocked it, opened Chittr, composed three paragraphs and selected an appropriate reaction image. This is not necessarily what is occurring. Chittr is the medium through which the narrative has elected to present itself. The post exists because we, the audience, require some means of observing the event. Sometimes the posting itself is diegetic. Sometimes it is only partially diegetic. Sometimes you are effectively reading a stage direction wearing the skin of a social media post. You are foolish to assume this website that stretches across an infinite amount of timelines, universes, and means of interaction is nothing short of a mythical artifact, perhaps even a Juju. Professional wrestling does not cease being a wrestling match because the camera happens to be perfectly positioned to capture a conversation backstage. Nobody turns toward the cameraman and asks why he is being permitted to stand three feet away while two men conspire to commit aggravated assault. You accept the camera because the camera is how the story reaches you. The same courtesy should probably be extended to someone live-Chitting their kidnapping. They are not necessarily exposing their location to their captor, compromising the integrity of their SGRUB session, or somehow finding excellent cellular reception inside the narrative equivalent of Hell. You are simply being permitted to see what is happening because this is the proscenium we have chosen. Please respect the kayfabe. It is doing a remarkable amount of structural labor for you." Cronus is actually known for saying "i think some of you vwould benefit tremendously from becoming acquainted vwith the concept of kayfabe. #kayfabe #chittr #chittrpsa #narrativwe #metatextual #metamale vwhenevwer someone is kidnapped, trapped in a sgrub session, stranded somevwhere hostile, dying spectacularly, et cetera, there is inevwitably someone in the replies going, "oh, but you had time to chit about it?" as though the natural conclusion is that the character, presently dangling upside-dowvn ovwer a vwat of acid, has taken out their phone, carefully unlocked it, opened chittr, composed three paragraphs and selected an appropriate reaction image. this is not necessarily vwhat is occurring. chittr is the medium through vwhich the narrativwe has elected to present itself. the post exists because vwe, the audience, require some means of observwing the evwent. sometimes the posting itself is diegetic. sometimes it is only partially diegetic. sometimes you are effectivwely reading a stage direction vwearing the skin of a social media post. you are foolish to assume this vwebsite that stretches across an infinite amount of timelines, univwerses, and means of interaction is nothing short of a mythical artifact, perhaps evwen a juju. professional vwrestling does not cease being a vwrestling match because the camera happens to be perfectly positioned to capture a convwersation backstage. nobody turns tovward the cameraman and asks vwhy he is being permitted to stand three feet avway vwhile tvwo men conspire to commit aggravwated assault. you accept the camera because the camera is howv the story reaches you. the same courtesy should probably be extended to someone livwe-chitting their kidnapping. they are not necessarily exposing their location to their captor, compromising the integrity of their sgrub session, or somehowv finding excellent cellular reception inside the narrativwe equivwalent of hell. you are simply being permitted to see vwhat is happening because this is the proscenium vwe havwe chosen. please respect the kayfabe. it is doing a remarkable amount of structural labor for you." As much is said in the post above.
An incredibly necessary analysis. Those who complain about such things are unaware of what exactly they are attacking. Listening to them results in a flatter, less interesting story.
Ah, I understand much more succinctly now, Rose.
Brevity is oft alluded to as being the soul of wit.
we did just get a rankmaid back s0 perhaps things are improving and we'll get less 0f a 3-1 ratio 0f some0ne actually doing shit vs. a cr0wd of midwits whining ab0ut their privilege two see activity.
if i ever find myself in one of these predicaments and i'M posting on the timeline, please know it is not "kayfabe" doing it for me. this chittr shit is fucking serious to a chud like me. i WILL be livechitting it for the sake of the clout. that'S just how much it means to me. but, in a way, that'S my own personal kayfabe, i guess.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ... [ACTION:QUERY] if i check tthe feed pr0per|y am i g0ing tt0 find a |ive-chitted kidnapping? [END MESSAGE]
No. I timed this during the lack of a kidnapping as to not be drowned out by incessant bitching.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] tthank y0u. [END MESSAGE]
You're welcome, Pascal.
he always has qUite a bit to say, doesn't he? perhaps he shoUld have been a hero of breath! ^u~
saw this at the halloween section at my local craft store. now, i'm no prUde, bUt is this really appropriate for a family store?? >://U #sUggestive
it's the bondage aspect!! XU
Seems a bit excessive and not even in a way that's visually pleasing.
that givs me a few ideas...
lol wwhyre they tied up like that wwhatd they do
Couldn't the snake just... wriggle out of that? ( -_・)?
snondage...
ARE YOu REALLY APPROPRIATE FOR A FAMILY STORE? IT IS NOT EVEN THE HuMAN MONTH OF OCTOBER. AND HERE YOu ARE. HIDEOuSLY GALIVANTING ABOuT WITH YOuR WIDE EYED INSIPID INSISTENCE ON SHOWING FACE. WHERE YOu WERE NOT ASKED TO. LET THEM PARTAKE IN SHIBARI ZIP TIE SNAKE IF THEY WANT TO. SOME FAMILIES ARE GROWN ADuLT FAMILIES. PLuS. GIANT COSMIC SERPENTS THAT BITE ONE ANOTHER CEASELESSLY IN BLACK HOLES TO ESTABLISH WHO IS TYRANNuS AND WHO IS COMPLII. WHO IS WEAK BITCH AND WHO IS STRONG. WHO IS GIVING AND WHO IS RECEIVING. THIS IS A NATuRAL PART OF LIFE. DO YOu WANT THE EXPLANATION TO COME FROM A TRuSTED ADuLT OR FAMILY MEMBER. OR DO YOu WANT IT TO COME. FROM A PANIC STRICKEN. LIBERAL ARTS TEACHER. WHO IS SHRIEKING ABOuT THE END OF DAYS? LET OFFSPRING SPEND THEIR LAST MOMENTS DELIGHTED TO JOIN THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. A GIANT MATING COSMIC CHERuB SERPENT WHO WILL END BANAL AND POINTLESS EXISTENCE VERY SHORTLY.
yoU get scandalized over hand holding, yoU're hardly one to talk.
THERE IS A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE. MANY WORLDS. LAYING IN WAKE AND IN RuIN. BETWEEN CHuNKING THE FuCK OuT OF FLESH VISCERALLY. AND FILLING THE EMPTY SPACES. BETWEEN EACH CONCuPISCIENTLY CARNAL FINGER. WITH THOSE OF ANOTHER.
ok.
M3ss@g3 Lo@ding… ~~~~ British p3opl3 @r3n't r3@l. Th3y c@n't hurt you ~~~~ M3ss@g3 R3ci3v3d
it'2 true, i 'aven't been real 2ince 87.
men will call yoU a bitch for ignoring their harrassment, and then call yoU a cheating whore when a different man harrasses yoU. this is why i simply don't engage. #directposting #exhaUsted
B:(( < does mew n33d a hug
Would this be about a certain big green bastard?
it's nothing i can't handle, love! really, the first man described is little more than an online amUsement. ...the second man does warrant a bit more carefUl consideration, thoUgh. bUt i'm sUre i have it Under control.
B33 < if anything mew can count on meow B33 < nefurr happawned to meow this stuff B33 < *ac still offurrs mew the hug though*
ah, halloween. the one night i can go oUt as myself withoUt being instantly recognized. ~u~
Might I inquire what you would go as beyond just yourself?
well, i sUppose i'm never anything *bUt* "myself," bUt i typically wear a glamoUr in pUblic to express myself as a troll!
yoU know, doc scratch isn't *UniqUely* sUsceptible to being fleeced by the void. i estimate at least five void players online right now whom none of Us has noticed!
and that estimate won't even consider the ones you yourself can't notice. :)
oh, i've not seen them either. jUst an edUcated gUess! ...i *may* have pUlled the nUmber oUt of my arse.
Hi. Though. I suppose by responding you are now aware of me. Paradoxical is it not?
ah, hello there! ^u^ nice to meet yoU, mr. e. i presUme yoU've far more chits than the two i'm able to see?
It would be 1ncred1bly emba2rass1n5 fo2 me 1f be1n5 th1s much of an unrespons1ve shut-1n was an aspect th1n5, so I'm s1mply 5o1n5 to hope that 1t's just a no2mal behav1o2 that happens to be pe2fo2med by a Vo1d playe2.
the difference is maddeningly small, i'm afraid.
he really does think he can bait me with this, doesn't he? does he think he poses a genUine threat?
BX33 < lmeow? B33 < like even if he did does he really think hed get only you
and the (non-sbUrban, i cannot stress enoUgh!) meteor showers are expected to continUe into october. ...he knows how to get my attention, i'll give him that.
...well, in earth c news, we apparently have a genUine sUpervillain. "doctor disaster." a mad geoengineer. with... weather-related gadgets. ~_~ jUne is dealing with him.
at least he's not hitting on me anymore. :u
If one of the two isn't dead by the end of the story is it even good smut at that point? #nsfw #nsfwe
...oh dear. am i going to have to come oUt to my mUm? ó~ò
so im guessing U *dont* want me 2 introduce myself... :U
hm. hrmm. no, love, not jUst yet.
If you don't mind me saying, Miss, She seems to like you. I can only imagine she'd support you.
well, i'm a bit of an anomaly for my species!! i've no idea how she'll even conceptUalize it, let alone feel aboUt it. i've never had a mother before, i'm nervoUs!
IF SHE HAS A PROBLEM I WILL KICK HER ASS ON YOUR BEHALF.
good luck!! if u do anways
im sure it will go fine
I know the feeling! But you'll do well, I think. You have a good head on your shoulders, and you're well spoken. If she has questions, I believe in your ability to answer them. :)
Let me tell you something. You're pl★ying checkers? Me? I'm pl★ying ★ g★me th★t's more comple⚔ th★n checkers.
...holy shit... ...connect four...
Looks like I'm playing chess while you're playing chess like an idiot.
Oh, to be able to rechitt a reply💚
you're playing checkers and i'm also playing checkers. we are having fun together.
Ok★y, post's over, De★n did it better.
5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel
Fucking p★rdon?
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1349230/5D_Chess_With_Multiverse_Time_Travel/
I don't know..... Th★t's sc★ry.....
#MyWife
if anything coUld make me less interested, it's the begging. the insistence. the desperation.
Oh dear. That vagueness doesn’t sound fun love, is everything alright?💚
oh, don't worry. he can't toUch me. stick aroUnd, yoU'll see who this is aboUt eventUally. he's not... sUbtle. ~_~
That is equal parts very intriguing and worrying. I shall wait with baited breath.💚
it's like watching a train wreck. or, rather, a recording of a train wreck. a wreck of which i've only ever seen the aftermath. in a sense, yoU coUld argUe my brother, too, was a victim of lord english. denied the choice to do anything with his life bUt become him. caUght in the whirlpool of entropy, a single path which can have no other oUtcome bUt the conditions which birthed it. i doUbt he woUld have chosen to be a "good person," withoUt the lord's inflUence. bUt perhaps he coUld have *been* a person.
It's sickening. Impossibly delicate, impossible to deter or derail. And yet.
you know, you're probably not wrong about the victim thing, people who do bad things probably have been victims of systems they have no control over. but choice matters too. i feel like you can only go so far with forgiveness if the person doesn't intend to make up for their deeds. it is definitely a shame that it sounds like your brother never got the chance to choose, though.
i did not want to know that! XU~
I’ll spare you further detail, for your convenience.
i've had mUch less patience of late, when it comes to Unwanted advances from certain cherUbim. qUite frankly, hearing *that* makes me want to be sick! i jUst want these men to leave me well enoUgh alone.
and in doing so, yoU've implied fUrther detail. thanks a bloody tonne.